Hayden's First Year
by JennTH
Summary: Hayden's story from New Beginning. He is Ashley and Ben's stepson. It is years later, and he is going to Hogwarts. He is about the same age as the next generation characters. It goes through his insecurities about being abandoned by his own mother for being magical as he begins his journey in the magical world.
1. Chapter 1

Moving these stories to wattpad. Might stop updating here because I'm tired of the drama from that other writer. I haven't decided yet, but if you're interested just PM me. Either I'll update on both sites, but if they keep it up, I might just remove the stories from here.

A/N: The characters are all grown up, and have children. This is Hayden, Ben and Ashley's stepsons story. Hayden is an OC. He goes to school with the next generation characters but doesn't really interact with them. This is his first year.

Anyway, I wrote New Beginning years ago, but then I moved it to a blog. I started this story just for fun while I worked on better projects. However, as much as it was just for fun, I grew to enjoy writing about these characters. So whenever I have writers block on my real stories, or even when I am feeling stressed, I write about these characters lives. Many people might not enjoy this since it's OC and all but this story as bad as it might be actually got me through stressful times. Whenever I was feeling upset, I would think about some happy things happening to them or even bad things. I would sit down, and write about them. I logged back onto this site recently and saw some recent requests for this story. So I've decided to resurrect it here since some people don't want to read it on my blog.

Hayden's first year

"I can't believe we won't be back here next year," Minnie said to me as she lingered behind our classmates to gaze around the empty classroom.

"But we'll be starting Hogwarts next year," I reminded her. "I've been wanting to go to Hogwarts since Ashley told me about it. We'll finally be able to do magic! I can't until I can finally have my own wand."

"I'm excited for Hogwarts too," Minnie said to me. "But I am going to miss this school too. I am going to miss Trevor too. He can be a pest but I'll miss him. Hayden, aren't you going to miss Alyssa and the twins and Hailey?"

"Yes but I don't have to worry about that until the end of the summer," I told her. "Speaking of Alyssa and the twins, I have to go pick them up. Ellen is picking us up today."

"I'm going on the bus," Minnie said but she didn't move.

"Come on Minnie," I said. "Normally you're happy on the last day of school. Let's go. I can't keep the kids waiting, and you don't want to miss the bus."

I tugged on her arm, and she finally moved forward. I didn't understand how she could be so sad about being done primary school. Wasn't she happy that we were finally going to do magic? We'd been talking about it for as long as I could remember. I'd already managed to do magic on my own, but Ben and Ashley didn't know this. They usually left their wands laying around. They trusted us enough to believe that we wouldn't touch them. I could do some spells already. I just couldn't wait until I was actually allowed to do it myself and with my own wand.

Minnie and I left the classroom and went into the corridors. We found Alyssa, Michelle, Clarissa, the twins and Trevor all waiting for us. I was relieved about this. I didn't want to go to each classroom to pick them up. I resented the fact that I had to do it at all. They could get around on their own, I didn't see why I had to get them everyday and I was glad that it was the last time I had to worry about it.

"It's about time," Michelle said to me. "What were you two doing in there? We saw your class leave ages ago."

"Michelle, you know you could have just taken the kids outside to meet Ellen," I told her. "Next year you will be anyway."

"I did go outside first," Michelle told me. "Mum told me to come inside and get everyone, so I did."

I'd never really liked Michelle. I wasn't sure why it was. She wasn't too annoying or anything, but we'd just never connected too well. Sometimes I felt she acted a bit too young for her age, but otherwise I couldn't pinpoint what it was that I disliked about her. It was just most of our lives I never wanted to really hang out or play with her.

"Well lets go then," I said. "I'm sure Ellen is getting impatient," and I turned to Minnie. "I'm sure I'll see you soon Minnie."

"Hopefully. Write to me on the parchment when you can," Minnie told me as she took a hold of Trevor's hand.

I started to walk towards the exit and the others followed behind me. Cameron ran up to take a hold of my hand. He'd always been very clingy and a little anxious. He was getting better than he used to be, but at times it could be annoying. I didn't mind at the moment that he was holding my hand, but other times it could be embarrassing. I couldn't understand why he and William were so different when they were twins.

Technically they really weren't my brothers and sisters, but I still thought of Alyssa, the twins and Hailey as my younger siblings. I knew that they all looked up to me as an older brother. Alyssa had always loved me and I knew it bothered her that I was leaving soon for Hogwarts. I loved them all, but Hailey was the one I worried about the most. Ashley had almost lost her when she was pregnant with her, and then she had been born premature. Sometimes she got sick easily but she also seemed to be a fighter. While the other kids whined and complained when they were sick, Hailey didn't and she was only two years old. Alyssa cried as if she were in horrible pain and she was seven!

I'd been living with them for almost three years now. Ashley and Ben were my godparents. Shortly before my ninth birthday, my real mum had decided she didn't want me anymore. It still bothered me to this day that my own mother would give up on me. I didn't feel as angry as I had when it first happened, but sometimes I would get furious about it. I would never forget the day when she told me that she couldn't raise a magical child anymore. She'd been pregnant at the time as well, and she'd told me that she didn't want my brother or sister to know about me either.

"But if you want to visit sometimes Hayden you can. We will just tell your brother or sister that you're just a friend of the family, but I never want the baby to know about the magic."

"No mum. If you don't want me anymore, I am not coming back. I want my brother or sister to know me as their brother."

Minnie had been with me when mum had broke the news to me. She'd always been my best friend and I had needed her support, and I knew she wanted to be there too. Before then, I'd been living with Ashley and Ben full time but I'd never expected it to be permanent. I'd asked to stay there because mum kept yelling at me for accidental magic. She'd kept telling me how much of an embarrassment I was and that she was worried I'd drive her boyfriend away. So I'd written to Ashley to ask if I could stay with her for a bit. I hadn't realized at the time that it would be a forever move.

At times I actually preferred the fact that I was staying with them. I could be myself more than I was able to with mum. We also now lived in a mansion and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. I had my own room with my own bathroom. We had a pool that we turned into an indoor pool in the winter. The backyard was so huge that I had to make sure Hailey wouldn't get lost if I took her outside. Every year I usually had a pool party with my friends and our house certainly could support all the people. I loved having a family, but at times I still wished I had my mother. Why was it that Ashley could take me in and love me as if I were her own child, but my mother couldn't?

With Ashley and Ben I also had a huge extended family of cousins (including Minnie) who all loved me. Ben's parents treated me as if I were their own grandchild and so did Ashley's parents. Even Ellen's parents treated me as if I were their own kid. I knew I had plenty of love in my life, and I knew there was always someone who wanted me around but it still didn't take away the pain. I still had fantasies that mum would come back into my life, and she'd take me back. I would meet my brother or sister who would be about the age that Hailey was now.

Sometimes I still had to see a therapist (or a mind healer as Ben called her) and she helped me a lot. I was able to talk to her about things that I had a hard time talking to Ashley or Ben about, or even Minnie. She was so easy to talk to and she knew more about me than sometimes my godparents knew. At times I felt I could even talk to Michael about those things as well. He'd gone through something similar with his parents, so he knew how it felt.

I didn't like to admit it, but when it first happened I blamed muggles for it. I knew now that not all muggles were bad of course. Ashley's parents and sister were muggles and they were nice to me. I'd met other muggles who were nice through my muggleborn friends at school. I knew it had been a bad thing to think when it came to muggles, but for a while I'd hated them. My own muggle mother had abandoned me because of magic. We had to keep magic secret from muggles, so back then I just saw them all as the enemy.

It wasn't really until Ashley almost lost Hailey that I really sat down and thought things through. It wasn't just Hailey I thought was gone, but Ashley too. It had been a scary time. I'd already lost one mother and I was scared to lose another. Ashley had gone to fight some evil wizards Halloween night and had been hit by too many spells.

She hadn't known at the time that she was pregnant. I was sure if she'd known that she would never have gone. After that fight, she'd been tired all the time and depressed. She and Ben had always promised to tell me the truth after what happened with mum, and so when I'd asked her what happened she been truthful with me. She told me she'd lost her baby and it was then that I started to realize that muggles weren't the bad ones. It was just certain people in general who could be bad.

Thankfully she found out that she hadn't lost Hailey after all, and she ended up getting better. It wasn't until a few months after Hailey was born that she finally did magic or got her energy back, but I'd been relieved to see my godmother back to her old self. Hailey had also grown up normally, even if sometimes she got sick too easily. All of us were protective of her though, even Alyssa and the twins and they didn't know the full truth about everything.

Now all my anger was mainly directed at my mother. I had many written letters to her that would never be sent. If I truly wanted to contact her I could, all I had to do was get an owl. At times I believed I should do just that. Ashley and Ben knew about my letters and they told me that I just had to let them know if I wanted to write her. I had many things I wanted to say to her now that I was older. At the age of almost nine I hadn't been able to say the right things. Now I was almost twelve and I knew exactly what I wanted to say to her. I even considered writing to her when I got to Hogwarts. Ashley and Ben didn't own an owl but I knew there was an owlery at Hogwarts.

I wondered often if she ever thought about me. Did she miss me? Did she regret her decision to give me up? I knew that Ashley and Ben had told her never to contact me again, and maybe that's why she hadn't contacted me. Perhaps it would be up to me to do it. Ashley had told me recently that it was up me if I ever wanted to talk to her someday.

"I just hope you won't be too disappointed if she doesn't want to talk to you," she had told me.

I already knew I could expect that however. Mum had already hurt me so much by abandoning, she couldn't hurt me anymore than she'd already had. There was a chance she wouldn't reject me again though. Maybe she was just scared to contact me because she was scared to. Of course I'd be angry with her at first, but I wanted her in my life enough that I knew eventually I could forgive her. She would just have to prove herself to me.

All this was on my mind on the last day of Primary school. I was deep in thought as I led the kids outside. Ellen was waiting off to the side by our van. I could see Hailey strapped in her car seat. She started to wave to us with a big grin on her face. Ellen usually worked from home, so a lot of the time she came to pick us up in our Van. Other times we just took the bus and went home. Ashley and Ben had decided that year I was old enough to look after the kids at home while they were at work. It's what I would be doing that night. Even though I had to keep an eye on the kids, I just hoped they wouldn't bother me too much.

All I really wanted to do was just be by myself. Thankfully I wouldn't have to look after the kids for too long. Ashley and Ben didn't usually work past five.

"Can I go over to your house to play?" Alyssa asked Ellen as soon as we spotted her.

"That's up to Hayden," Ellen said as she nodded at me.

Another thing about me watching the kids was that I could make the decisions for them. I loved it when Ashley or any of the adults told them that they had to ask me first. It showed that they truly did trust me. All of the adults seemed to trust me with their kids, and I was glad that most of them no longer saw me as a little boy anymore.

"Please can I go over and play with Clarissa," Alyssa said now turning to me.

Sometimes the older children such as Alyssa, Clarissa, Charles and Michelle found this to be annoying. They hated to ask me when at times they saw me as another kid. It had taken Alyssa a while to get used to that transition, but Ashley had started that when Alyssa was around four or five. So by this point she was used to it, but sometimes I thought she looked annoyed that she had to listen to me. Michelle absolutely hated it because she wasn't that much younger. She'd just turned nine in March and she was now seeing herself as a 'big' girl and not one of the kids. I could understand in a way. It was around that age I'd started to think the same way. However, at times when she complained about it, I enjoyed lording my authority over her.

I was actually glad that Alyssa wanted to go over to Ellen's. It was one less kid to look after, and sometimes Alyssa wanted Clarissa to come over. The twins always managed to amuse themselves and it didn't take much to keep Hailey busy. I could even likely take them all outside and they'd be fine. It was a nice enough day out. William and Cameron could keep themselves entertained outside for hours, and it was always difficult to convince them to come inside. That really just left me with Hailey who was usually the easiest child to sit for.

"Sure," I told her. "You just know you have to be home by five."

"Yeah!" She and Clarissa shouted at the same time.

"Well come on, get in the van," Ellen said. "I still have some work to do."

"Where is Elliot?" Clarissa asked as she climbed into the van.

"At Michael's and Shelly's. Hailey wanted to see you lot so I let her come, otherwise I would have just left there too."

"Ooh can we go play over there?" Clarissa asked.

"Not today," Ellen said. "Shelly has enough to do without adding the two of you over there. She doesn't mind taking Hailey and Elliot sometimes, but you know she has a baby to look after too."

"We won't get in the way over there," Alyssa said. "And Michael is Clarissa's godfather you know."

"Alyssa," I said with irritation as I waited for the kids to climb inside the van. "You said you were going to Clarissa's. Ellen already said no to the two of you going to Michael's. You can wait until later to go over there."

"I want to see the new baby!" Alyssa said to me angrily.

"If you keep arguing you can go up to your room," I told her.

"That goes for you too Clarissa," Ellen said giving me an appreciative look.

I smiled at her and then climbed into the front with her.

"What's going on with you?" Ellen asked as she glanced into the back to make sure everyone was buckled into.

"What do you mean?" I asked her as I buckled my own seatbelt.

"You're not very good at hiding your emotions. Ashley has always been the same way. I can tell that something is bothering you," she told me.

"I was just thinking about mum," I answered her.

"Hayden," Ellen said and she shook her head before she started up the van.

"I know I shouldn't think about her, but sometimes it's hard," I said to her. "It's my last day of primary school and she has to know I am starting Hogwarts in September. Sometimes I think she must be wondering about me."

"I'm sure she wonders about you too, but Hayden whenever you think about your mum, it puts you in a mood. You should be happy right now. It's your last day of school and I know soon that Ashley wants to take you to get your wand. You should be thinking about that instead of Rachel," she said to me.

"But it should be mum who goes with me to get my wand," I told her as she pulled out of the school parking zone. "It should be her who drops me off at Hogwarts."

"It should be but it won't be," Ellen said to me. "I'll tell you this much though. I wasn't abandoned as you were but for years my dad did ignore me and Timmy. The more I thought about it, the more I would be in a bad mood. I would take it out on my friends and there was a few times when I almost lost them. Michael was the same way when it came to his own parents."

I'd never known that about Ellen. I knew she had a good relationship with both her mother and father so I had a hard time believing that her father had ignored her. He even treated me really well when he saw me. Usually when he came for a visit, he had treats for all of us.

So I asked: "What do you mean your father ignored you?"

Ellen pulled into the London traffic but I knew we wouldn't be there for long. I never knew if they were just all really good drivers, or if they had done something to the van. All I knew was that we always managed to bypass all the traffic. I had to wonder if they'd done something, and if they had I knew it was illegal. Ashley and Ben both worked in the Ministry so I was surprised if they had done something. Wizards weren't supposed to charm things like cars or other muggle artifacts.

"My dad was scared of the wizarding world. He's muggleborn as you know and when you-know-who took over, we all had to go into hiding. I think he felt that magic had betrayed him somehow because for about three or four years he tried in integrate back into the muggle world. He couldn't do it though, and eventually he came back into our lives. It was actually when I got pregnant with Michelle that he changed his mind and got involved with us. For those years that he tried to go back to a muggle, he didn't talk to Timmy or me. He even moved in some muggle woman and her little girl into our house. I was so angry, and I'd taken it out on my friends. I just don't want to see you go down the same road. I'm sure even Michael has told you what happened when he brooded about his parents," Ellen explained to me. "I hate what Rachel did to you, but I don't want it to destroy you either. You're an amazing young man. It's understandable that it bothers but I just hate seeing you get in this mood."

I didn't say anything at first. I knew what she was telling me was true. Everyone had been telling me this for years. Michael had told me exactly what he'd put his friends through when he was about my age. I knew that they'd had a huge fight in their second year because of him. I knew that he'd almost lost his friendship with my godmother and that he hadn't treated her well. There were times when I'd taken it out on Minnie, and I always felt bad. I didn't want to be that guy, so I did do my best not to dwell on my situation. At times such as today it was hard not to.

If mum hadn't abandoned me, I would be going home to her excitedly about how it was my last day of Primary school. She must have been thinking and wondering about me. All I wanted to do was talk to her again.

"What are you thinking?" Ellen asked as managed to get down a side street that would eventually take us to the back roads. I really was starting to think the car was illegally charmed. I had a godmother who worked in the Experimental Charms office and a godfather who was good with magic. London was hard to get through at the best of times, but at three in the afternoon on a Friday it was even worse. People could be stuck in traffic for hours and yet we always managed to bypass it all no problem. I would never have believed it from either of them. Not that I disapproved, I found it amusing but I always found Ashley and Ben to be rule followers.

"I just want to talk to her again," I finally said. "I want to know what she thinks about, especially now. She can't have forgotten that I'll be starting Hogwarts soon."

"Well Hayden, that is something you'll have to talk to Ashley and Ben about," Ellen said and she glanced at me. "Are you going to be okay watching the kids? I remember back when I was your age, I would want to just be by myself at times. I was twelve when my parents got divorced. I can take the twins to my place, and drop Hailey back off at Michael's and Shelly's."

"You'd do that for me?" I asked her with surprise.

"I understand wanting to be alone, and sometimes the last thing I wanted to do was look after Timmy or be around my friends," Ellen answered. "I know Ashley and Ben would understand too. If you feel that you need to be alone until they come home, I will be happy to look after the kids. I just don't want you to lock yourself away too much honey. Always know that Michael or me will always be there to talk to you. Ashley and Ben will as well, but they never went through the hurt you did... well Ashley did in a way with her father but she was so young when that happened. She didn't know the truth until she was seventeen. All I am saying is we are all here for you, even if you just see us as pesky adults. We do actually get what you're going through on some level."

"Well I appreciate it," I told her. "I would rather just be alone right now. I know I need to spend time with the kids," and I glanced back at them. None of them were paying attention to our conversation. Alyssa and Clarissa were laughing together. The twins were playing some kind of hand game and Michelle was talking to Hailey. "Soon I won't see them for months at a time, but today I just need to be by myself."

"Then I'll look after the twins too, and I know Shelly will be happy to see Hailey again," Ellen said.

So Ellen did just that. Even though they were all adults, I was surprised that they did understand me at times. Maybe it was because they'd been so young themselves when they had become parents. Ashley had been sixteen when she'd become my godparent and she was only twenty when she'd had Alyssa. So perhaps they could all just relate to me better than an older parent could. They remembered their teen years well enough, and how they'd felt at my age.

I loved having the big old house to myself. We had a television, which wasn't something you often found in wizarding homes. Usually the magical interference could stop them from working properly. However, ours always seemed to work fine even with all the underage magic. At times we worried that it would blow up when the twins had their tantrums but it always survived.

So when I got home, I opened the fridge to see what kind of snack that Ashley left for us. Usually it was something healthy and I wasn't surprised to see that it was a veggie and fruit platter. I took it out and filled up a plate for myself before I put away. I then walked into the living room where I sat on the couch and lost myself into afternoon cartoons. Even though I was almost twelve, and I should have been too old for them, I still enjoyed watching some of them. I felt cartoons were the best way to put me in a better mood. While I munched on some vegetables and watched an American cartoon called Animaniacs, I felt myself relax.

I was actually shocked when the younger kids ran into the house over an hour later. I glanced at the clock on the wall to see that it was after five.

"Can we put on Bugs Bunny?" Alyssa asked as she jumped on the couch beside me.

"If you can find it, and don't jump on the couch," I told her.

"We want to watch the Ninja Turtles!" Cameron said.

"No, I want to watch Bugs Bunny!" Alyssa said.

"It's two against one!" William told Alyssa.

"Nope, Hayden hasn't said what he wants to watch, and Hailey hasn't either," Alyssa said.

"Hayden would rather watch Ninja Turtles!" William told her and then looked at me. "Right?"

"I don't really care," I said, "but I do know everyone here likes Bugs Bunny. Why not put something on that everyone wants to watch? I know Hailey likes Bugs Bunny too."

I glanced over at Hailey who wasn't even paying attention. She'd gone straight to the box of toys that Ashley and Ben kept in the living room. She was currently pulling some out to play with.

"You want to watch Bugs Bunny?" William asked me.

I knew that if I said yes that the battle would be won. The twins usually wanted to do what I wanted to do. So I gave a nod and then glanced at Alyssa who wore a big grin on her face. She gave me a wink so I wondered if she understood what I was doing. I didn't want a conflict at the moment, and I did know that both William and Cameron liked Bugs Bunny as well. I felt it was easier to do it this way than to have the kids all fight.

"Okay, we'll watch Bugs Bunny," William told Alyssa. "Only because Hayden wants to though."

"Hayden," Ashley said appearing in the doorway. "Can you please some in the kitchen. We want to talk to you."

I felt a little nervous as I got up. I hoped I wasn't going to be in trouble for passing up on my baby-sitting duties. I scanned her face to see if she looked upset with me but she didn't. She seemed almost unreadable however. I walked over to her and she put a hand on my shoulder, so I assumed I couldn't be in too much trouble.

We walked into the kitchen where Ben was sitting at the Island in the middle, and eating some of the veggies and fruit from the platter. I walked over to sit with him. At the counter was our house elf Mully that they hired to work around the house. She didn't live with us full time. Ashley didn't feel the need to have one around full time. In the beginning, Ben had a hard time convincing her to even get one. Mully usually came around for our meal times during the week and then every other day to clean.

There was a shelter where free elves lived. Hermione Weasley had set it up a few years ago. If wizards wanted to hire them, they could go there and pick one out. Apparently the elves could work at more than one home if they wanted, or they would stick to one family. Some people even let them move in with them full time. Our house elf had other families it took care of, but Ashley hadn't wanted one full time because she felt she could do some of the cooking and cleaning herself on weekends. She'd decided just to get help during the weekdays. It had been a decision she'd made shortly after Hailey had been born.

The shelter was basically a safe haven for elves who had either been abused by their previous owners, or ones who had been freed. Some of them worked for free while others were paid. Ashley had insisted on paying Mully. Some elves were insulted by the very thought of being paid, and some refused to work for wizards who wanted to pay them. It had taken Ben a while to actually find Mully. We'd been taught from the beginning to respect her and treat her well. It wasn't a lesson I needed, but sometimes Alyssa or the twins could act spoiled. Ashley had already told Mully that if any of us demanded that she do things for us, to say no.

"Hungry?" Ben asked me as he pushed the platter of fruit and vegetables over to me.

"I had some when I got home," I said but I reached to grab a carrot anyway.

Ashley sat down at the counter as well. I was beginning to surpass her in height. I was sure given another year or two I'd be much taller than her. At the moment we were maybe the same height, but I might have been a little taller. It seemed strange to me when not too long ago I'd actually been shorter than her. Most of my life I'd looked up to her and soon enough I'd be looking down at her.

"So Ellen told us you needed some time to yourself," Ashley said once she was settled. "She said you would like to write to Rachel."

I nodded. "I was thinking about her again today. I'm sure she knows that I am going to start school soon. You haven't heard from her have you?"

I knew that Ashley and Ben would never deliberately hurt me, but I also knew they might have felt they were protecting me by not telling me. I would be angry if they had kept that information from me. I had the right to know when mum wanted to talk to me.

"You know we'd never keep that from you Hayden," Ben said to me. "We've always promised to be honest with you. If Rachel has tried to contact us, she hasn't been able to."

"But we're also okay with you writing to her," Ashley added to me. "You're going to be twelve years old soon. We don't think it is the best idea," and she hesitated, "but we also don't want to forbid you from trying to contact your mother. I know if it were me, I would want to talk to my father if he had just walked out instead of committing suicide."

I didn't know the details about her dad, but I did know he had killed himself. It wasn't information she'd offered to me on her own. I'd overheard her talking about it a year ago and I'd asked her about it. She didn't know much about him either. She'd been a little kid when it had happened. I'd asked her why she hadn't told me since she too understood how it felt to have a parent abandon you. Her situation was even worse because she could never contact him again. She'd explained that she hadn't felt it was something to share with a child my age quite yet.

"I think I do want to write to her," I said. "I mean, the worst she can do is ignore it right? She can't hurt me anymore than she already has," it was something I'd told them more than once.

"Well unfortunately, the only way I think we can get a hold of her is with an owl," Ashley told me. "I tried contacting her once on the message parchment but she never got back to me. I am assuming she got rid of it years ago just as she said she would."

"Probably," I said as I thought back to the times I'd written to her as well.

"So we'll have to time it perfectly. You've never really had to use an owl because you've always had your message parchment but they are very smart animals. When I take you shopping in Diagon Alley, I think that will be the best time to do so. They have a post office there, and we can tell the owl not to deliver the message to her unless she is alone," Ashley told me.

"You could also send her another message parchment so that she can write back to you that way. It's been years since she has used an owl," Ben added.

"My mum used owls?" I asked him with surprise.

"We used to write back and forth to each other all the time," Ashley told me.

"Hayden, I know that you say you can handle the disappointment but I hope you do prepare yourself for this. She could either ignore you, or she could send you a rude message back," Ben said to me.

"She might even take it out on us," Ashley added. "She told us never to contact her again."

"You also have to decide what you want to do if she does want to talk to you," Ben said to me. "It could be a very complicated situation if she does decide she wants you back. We would never stop you from going back to your mother, but there are complications considering we have full custody of you. I am not sure how it works when a parent decides they want their child back. The Ministry might even decide that she is an unfit parent since she gave up on you. It took a lot work since muggles had to be involved as well."

"I'll figure that out if it comes to that," I told Ben. "I am not writing to her because I want to go home. I don't even know what I'd say if she said I could. Sometimes I think I'd want to go back, but other times I don't think I could. Not after what she did to me. I feel angry with her and I think I will be for a long time. I just want to talk to her before I got to Hogwarts."

"Well we are here for you every step of the way," Ashley told me. "So for now, why don't you work on a letter that you'd like to send to her, and then when we go to Diagon Alley, we'll send it to her. We'll see what happens from there."

"What would you two want to do if she wanted me back?" I had to ask. "And be honest, don't just tell me what I want to hear."

"I honestly don't want you to go back to her," Ashley told me. "I won't stand in your way if you two want to reconnect, but I just can't forgive her for what she did to you. I'll say this though, if it comes to that I'll be making sure that she truly does want you back. I won't allow for her to just take you back only to do it to you again. She needs to make sure she has a stable environment for you to go back to. Your therapist and I'm sure the Ministry would be checking into that as well."

"It won't be a simple process," Ben told me. "It won't be resolved from one letter. It could take months, even years."

I understood all of that and I wasn't even sure if I could go back to her. I was confused about the whole situation. I wanted her to my mother again, but at the same time I was still angry with her. All I knew was that I wanted to get the real letter written to her. I had many I couldn't send to her, so I knew I had to work hard on this one. I wasn't going to tell her off in the letter, not yet anyway.

Ashley took me to Diagon Alley not too much longer after that day. The other kids wanted to go as well but I was relieved when she'd told them that they had to stay at home. I was glad that this was something she and I were doing on our own. I hadn't received my Hogwarts letter yet, but they already knew what books and supplies I would need for my first year. I was looking forward to getting my wand the most.

I think Ashley knew this because it was where she took me first. The wand shop we went to was called Ollivanders Wand Shop. I knew the owner was very old, and that one of his great grandson now helped him run it. Ollivander had apparently never been the same since the war, and his great grand son was the first to show wand-making talent since Ollivander himself.

It was Ollivander who greeted me however, and I had to wonder just how old this man was. Ashley had told me that he'd been old when she'd gone to him at the age of eleven, but he seemed so ancient now. His great grand son was an older man as well, even older than Ashley's parents! I knew wizards could live for a long time, but I was shocked just to see how old the two of them looked. That easily had to have made Ollivander close to two hundred at least! When I'd heard of his great grandson, I thought it would be someone in their twenties.

"Ah this isn't your boy is it?" Ollivander asked Ashley as his eyes fell on me.

"He's my godson," she answered him.

"Well I expect we'll see great things from him, just as I've heard you've gone on to do great things Miss Dunning," he said.

"You remember me?" She asked with some surprise.

"I remember every wand I've ever sold Miss Dunning. I remember how scared and uneasy you were when you came into my shop with Minerva McGonagall. I sold you a 9.75" Vine Ashwinder Ash wand. You must still have it today," he said to her and I watched as she reached into her pocket to pull it out to show him.

"Very good for charms, and from what I've heard, you went on to Experimental Charms," he said.

"Charms was always my best subject," she told him and then she she pushed me forward a little. "He is ready for his first wand."

"Muggleborn are you?" He asked me now and I gave a quick nod. "What is your name young man?"

"Hayden Hoofer," I answered feeling a bit shy now. He seemed to be a nice man but he made me uneasy.

"Hoofer?" He asked and he glanced at Ashley with surprise.

"I know I've sold wands to many Hoofer's over the years. I believe I will be selling one to a young Minnie Hoofer this year," he said.

"Hayden is our adopted son," Ashley explained. "He's muggleborn but when we took him in, we gave him our last name."

"And which Hoofer boy did you marry?" He asked her and I felt myself growing impatient. Couldn't we just get on with it already? I just wanted my wand. "I believe it could only be Barry or Benjamin, but from what I heard, it's Barry's oldest daughter who is starting this year. That can only mean it's Benjamin that you married."

"Yes it was Ben," Ashley said quickly. "Could we try out Hayden's want now," she added before he could go on about Ben's wand and I was sure he would have. "I think he's getting impatient."

"I apologize Hayden," he said to me. "I often reminiscence when I see some of my former customers grown up. I enjoy seeing them go on to do great things with the wands I made for them," and he turned to his grandson who was leaning against the counter. "Norman could you please grab some wands from the back," and he turned back to us. "My great grandson Norman will eventually take over my shop. He has amazing talent and he has even tried some new wand cores I would never have thought to try. Perhaps one of his wands will choose you young Hayden," he said to me.

I didn't say anything to that. I wasn't sure what I could say to him about it. I just moved closer to Ashley who put an arm around me. It seemed to be an awkward silence until Norman returned with boxes of wands in his arms. He set them on the counter and Ollivander gestured for me to come forward. He took a measuring tape from his pocket which started to measure my arms and legs on it's own. It even measured my head.

Once that was done, I was finally allowed to test out the wands. It seemed to take forever for anything to happen. I began to worry that maybe I really wasn't magical after all. Maybe after all these years it had been a mistake. Maybe I'd been around magical people so much that somehow I'd picked up on it. However he finally handed me a wand made of vine with dragon heartstring as it's core. I gave a wave and I felt warmth spread through me and a breeze blew through my hair.

"Bravo!" Ollivander said excitedly. "This is one of my own wands, and a very powerful one at that. I believe we will see great things from you Hayden."

I was relieved when we paid for my wand and we were able to leave.

"I'm sorry about that," Ashley said to me as soon as we left the shop. "He is a good man, but he can make you feel very uneasy."

"It's okay," I told her. "I'm just glad I have my wand now."

"Well lets get your books and robes and then we can stop by the owl post office before we go home," she told me.

"Can we get lunch too before we go?" I asked her. "We never go out with just the two of us anymore."

"We can," she said. "We'll stop in The Leaky Cauldron before we go home."

After we got everything else we needed for school, Ashley took me to the post office where she selected an owl that was supposed to be really fast. After she paid the postman I heard her talking to the owl in a very low voice. I'd learned in school that they were very smart and that they could understand people really well, but it still seemed odd to me. I wondered why anyone would want to use an owl over a message parchment. They still had their uses when it came to delivering parcels, but that was it. I'd even heard Ashley and Ben talking about getting an owl now that I was going to Hogwarts soon.

"Now are you sure you want to do this?" Ashley asked me. "It's your last chance to change your mind."

"I need to do it," I told her and I reached into my pocket to hand her the letter I'd written.

She took the letter from me and I watched as she tied the letter to the owls legs. Moments later, the owl took off in flight. I wasn't sure how long it would take for the owl to get to her, but it was supposed to be a fast delivery. Chances are that very night she would be reading a letter from me.

That summer, I was the official baby-sitter for the kids. I was actually glad about this after a few days into the summer. I had Shelly next door if I needed her help, and I also had Ellen as well. For the most part, it was me in charge and I was making some good money for the summer. Now I understood why Ashley had spent all her summers baby-sitting. This was something I wanted to do every summer until I was old enough to work somewhere else or until Alyssa was at least eleven. I was sure she would want to take over the baby-sitting when she could, and I would let her. By that point I would almost be sixteen anyway and I was sure I could get better paying jobs.

It was just the money I enjoyed however. I just wanted to spend time with them all before I left them. I knew I would miss them, and they would all miss me as well. I was in charge of Ashley's kids, but Michelle and Clarissa often came over as well. Sometimes Shelly and Ellen would let me watch over Elliot and Elaina as well. Usually I asked if Minnie could come over to help me out as well, and most of the time she was allowed to. I'd been surprised at first when Ashley had told me that she didn't mind if Minnie came too.

"I know how much easier it is to have a friend help out," she'd told me when I'd expressed surprise at this. "I used to get Ellen to help me at times too. Just remember that no one can go in the pool."

That was the number one rule. We were not allowed in the pool when there were no adults around. Since Ellen worked from home, sometimes she would come over so we could swim or even Shelly would come with her baby Mikayla as well. There were times too when the two of them would sit back and watch. Ellen always made sure to assure me that she knew I was in charge, but they just wanted to make sure we were all safe when it came to the pool.

"And you know we have a pool too," Ellen reminded me. "You're always welcome to swim on ours as well. I know it's not as big as yours but it's still a decent pool."

So sometimes we would do that so it would be easier for her. I found that baby-sitting for all the kids was quite easy. This was my first time baby-sitting for them for so long on my own, so I'd been worried about it. However, Alyssa and Clarissa usually did their own thing and so did the twins. Usually I just had to look after the toddlers and with Minnie and Michelle's help, it was actually a breeze.

Often I felt nervous when Hailey fell and hurt herself. I knew too well from growing up with so many kids that they would fall, however we all still worried about her. I always worried too that somehow I'd be blamed if she hurt herself too severely. She was always on the go too. She was a brave little girl, and she had no problem with climbing the jungle gym. It was why I was glad the others did their own thing. She was the kind of kid that you had to keep your eyes on all the time.

"Has your mum written back to you yet?" Minnie asked me a few weeks after I'd sent my letter.

"No, but I am glad I sent a letter to her anyway," I told her. "I told you the worst thing she can do is ignore me."

"She still might get back to you," Minnie answered. "What are you going to do if she does? I hope you won't go back to her."

"I haven't decided yet," I said.

"Daddy says that Aunt Ashley and Uncle Ben shouldn't have let you write to her," Minnie informed me.

"I would have done it with or without their permission," I reminded her. "Hogwarts has an owlery too. They know that and so they didn't see the point in stopping me."

"Well I still don't understand it," Minnie said.

"Of course not," I said feeling a little annoyed with her now. "Both your parents love you. You don't know what it's like to have someone abandon you that way."

"But I wouldn't want to talk to someone who did abandon me. Remember year five? Colleen stopped talking to me and we'd been friends since year one. Once she told me that we weren't friends anymore, I didn't try to talk to her again."

"It's not the same thing Minnie," I told her. "You're talking about a fall-out with a friend. It's not that simple when it's a parent. I don't even know who my father is. According to Ashley and Ben, he doesn't even know about me and he probably doesn't want to. Apparently I have a brother who is magical, but he didn't let him go to Hogwarts. So chances are my dad won't want a long lost magical child. My mum might have changed her mind though."

"I just don't want you to get hurt again Hayden," Minnie said. "I don't want you to get your hopes up. You have a good home here. Aunt Ashley and Uncle Ben love you. They're your parents. Michael told me that family doesn't make blood, it's how the people in your life treat you. Michael would know better than anyone. Our grandparents did adopt him after all."

"I appreciate everything they've done for me," I told her. "I do consider them to be my family but I just want my mother to love me. I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?"

"Sure," Minnie said, "but just remember I am your friend and I will always be here for you Hayden."

I didn't say anything to that. I knew that she always would be there for me. She always had been. The problem was she had parents who loved her, so even though she was my best friend, it wasn't something I always liked to talk about with her. She would never get why I wanted to write to my mother. She could only assume what she would do in my situation, but it wasn't a choice she'd ever have to make.


	2. Chapter 2

"You didn't take more sleeping potion did you Ashley?" Ben asked me as I sat down beside him on the couch.

I had taken a small dosage of it. It was the kind that took time to kick in. I still had a good two hours before I had to worry about it. This way we could relax and watch the telly before bed.

"Yes," I answered. "I don't want to lay awake worrying about Hayden again."

"I don't like you taking those potions every night. You're going to get addicted to them, and it's not healthy to take them all the time anyway," Ben said to me.

"Ben, you complain when I am tired and then you complain if I do something about it," I said to him. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stop worrying about the kids to the point that you get stressed," he said. "Hayden is going to be fine. He already knows what to expect when it comes to Rachel. He knows there is a chance that she'll either ignore him, or she won't be nice if she writes back to him."

"I know, but he could have a set back," I said to Ben. "Look how bad he took it when she abandoned him. He's made a lot of improvement the last three years. I just don't want to see him back in that place. He's at a vulnerable age now. I might be almost twenty-eight, but I still remember how it felt to be twelve. He's going to have the insecurities that all kids go through at that age, add the fact that his mother abandoned him and we're going to have another Michael on our hands."

"I just don't think Hayden is going to be as angry as Michael or Ellen was," Ben said. "He's had more support than either of them. He has more people he can go to for that. That being said, I hate seeing you get this stressed about it. How can you expect to be there for Hayden if you're always stressing about the kids?"

I knew he had a point there. It was hard for me not to worry about them though. After my scare with Hailey, I did feel worried about what could happen. I of course still let them have their independence, especially the twins. I didn't want the boys to always rely on each other or us, but that didn't mean I didn't worry about what could happen to them. Alyssa and the twins were all at an age where they wanted more time with their friends. I knew they didn't want their mother hovering over them and so I granted them that. I had memories of being their age and being annoyed when my mother worried about my every move, especially if I went into the forest trails on my own.

It was more Hailey and Hayden that I fretted over more anyway. Hayden would soon be a teenager and I knew he was going to have his problems. Even if he didn't have it as bad as Michael did, I knew he was still going to have anger issues. I wanted to make sure he knew that we were always there for him no matter what. I hated the fact that he felt the need to contact Rachel, but I didn't think we should stop him from it either. I knew that if he truly wanted to write her, he would whether he had our support or not. We didn't have an owl, but Hogwarts had plenty of owls for him to choose from. I knew it was better for us just to show our support even if we didn't want him doing it.

I knew Hayden had some hope that she'd changed her mind after all these years, but I really didn't think she had. My parents still lived in the same house, and if she truly wanted to contact us, she would. She knew how to get a hold of us. My step-father had found out that she only lived in the town over from us. He'd only found her by accident a year ago when he'd gone there for work. He hadn't talked to her, but he'd seen that she now had a little girl. After he'd done some asking around from people he knew who lived there, he learned that she'd married Mart and that they were just starting their family. No one had mentioned a word about her son even though she'd planned to say that he lived with his father.

It had been weeks since he'd sent his letter out to her, and we had no word from her. We'd even sent her a new message parchment in case she didn't want to use owls. I'd written on the bottom of his letter that she could get a hold of any of us by our numbers, and I'd written them down. However, I'd seen no messages from her and neither had Ben. I knew Hayden hadn't heard from her either. Everyday he asked if we'd had. I could see the disappointment in his eyes even if he acted brave about it.

Hailey was still quite small for her age even though the Healer assured us that this was normal. We took her in for monthly check ups, and she always came out as healthy. We were told that she was a strong little girl, and quite smart. However, she did get sick easily. If the kids brought home germs from school, she was always surely to catch them. She never cried about it as most children her age would. I remembered when Alyssa would get sick at two, she would keep us up at night crying. The twins had been a nightmare because usually both of them would get sick, well still would get sick at the same time. Even now if they all got sick they would whine about it. Hailey endured anything she caught quietly and bravely.

She really didn't look like any of us either. Ben and I both had brown hair and brown eyes which Alyssa and the twins had inherited from both of us. Hailey however had honey blond hair and brown eyes. There was a chance it could still darken since I'd had blond hair when I was a baby, but I had a feeling that she was going to keep it. Ben didn't find it too odd since his cousin Sam and a few others both had blond hair as well.

"It pops up sometimes in our family," he had once said when Michael had asked about this.

I did hope she would keep the blond hair. I loved the brown hair on Alyssa and the twins, but I felt that somehow the honey blond hair suited Hailey more. Her skin seemed a bit more fair than ours, and I just loved the brown eyes and blond hair combination on her. She'd inherited my big brown eyes and lips but her grandmothers nose. I was glad that both my daughters seemed to take more after the Hoofer clan than me. I didn't want either one of them to ever feel insecure about their looks the way I had, and I didn't think that would happen.

"I don't plan to take the sleeping potion every night," I told Ben. "I haven't been taking it every night anyway. I've just been having trouble sleeping lately. I've been more tired than this before and I was able to be there for the kids."

"Not really," Ben answered. "When you were tired it worried them. I'm not trying to throw anything in your face since that wasn't your fault, but even William and Cameron sensed something was wrong and they were two. Children can always sense something is wrong, and they do know what's going on with Hayden. Remember when I was having my own problems? Alyssa knew something wasn't right back then too. As much as we hate to admit it, the children always know when something isn't right and they pick up on our stress too. I worry about Hayden too, but not to the point that I lay up at night."

"I know," I said. "I'm not going to make a habit of this," I assured Ben. "I think once we go to Florida we'll all be able to relax."

We had a 'summer' home that Ben had bought out in Florida. Originally he'd wanted get one in Cuba since that another favourite vacation spot of ours, but he'd ended up finding a nice beach house in Florida. Every summer we went there for two weeks at the beginning of August and during the Christmas holidays we went down there for a week or so. We also rented the place out to our friends if they wanted to go out there. Shelly and Michael or Denver and Sheila usually rented from us because the twins had loved Florida so much that at times they missed it. It wasn't just them, but even our family or other friends went out there too. Sometimes Ben would put an ad in the muggle paper for people to rent it too. We felt it had turned out to be a good investment.

"Ellen and Keith were saying that they want to come down with us this year," Ben told me. "I think Michael and Shelly wanted to as well, but they decided against it because of Mikayla."

"Well everyone knows they are welcome to come with us," I said. "What about Barry and Tasha? They came with us last year. I know Hayden would be happy if Minnie came and William would be happy if Trevor came. I kind of wonder about asking Jaime if we can let Graysen come too for Cameron."

"You know she won't," Ben said. "There will be too much magic going on. I don't know how she expects us to always hide it from him. I think it would be impossible with so many magical children running around. Besides, Cameron gets along well enough with Trevor now."

"They get along but once William and Trevor get together, Cameron often feels left out," I reminded him.

"And then Cameron spends his time with Hailey," Ben said. "You know I'd like it if we could have Graysen more, but Jaime gets picky about it. She still has a distrust for magic. At Christmas she told me that Rachel abandoned Hayden because of magic, and that's another reason for her to hate it."

"She said the same thing to me when she met Hailey for the first time," I said. "We're never going to change her mind about magic, but that's fine. I'm just glad that she'll be part of our lives. You know I was scared for a while there that she would pull a Petunia Dursley."

I still didn't believe my sister hated magic as much as she claimed she did. I knew part of it was that she was trying her hardest to fit in even though soon she'd be thirty. She still had those insecurities about being normal even though she was no longer a kid. I believed a big part of it was jealousy too. I knew she'd been envious about me going to Hogwarts and learning magic while she was stuck in our town in boring old secondary school. Another part of it was of course the fear.

"Ashley? Ben?"

Ben and I looked up from our conversation to see Hayden standing in the doorway in his pajamas. He was holding onto a piece of parchment that had writing on the both sides. Even though he was almost twelve, he looked like a little boy again. I knew exactly what it was that he was holding in his hand. Rachel had finally gotten back to him. Whatever she had written had clearly upset him.

"Your mum wrote back to you?" Ben asked and Hayden gave a small nod.

"I was just getting ready for bed when the owl flew in," he said and he walked over to hand the letter to me.

I could see that it was the original letter that he'd written to her. She'd just written on the back of it in response. I could see that it was a very short response.

Hayden, yes I do know that you are about to start Hogwarts. I would also be lying if I said I didn't think about you often. I haven't forgotten my first child, but I haven't changed my mind. You are where you belong. It is better for all of us if you stay with Ashley and Ben. They are your guardians and they always will be. That being said, if you really feel that you need to write me sometimes, you can. Don't always expect a response back from me. It was hard enough trying to get back to you this time. I still do have an owl call that Ashley bought for me years ago. I do not want a message parchment because it will be hard to explain to Mart. I also know that you do and will have some anger for me. I wasn't too surprised to read an angry letter from you. I even expected that someday you would contact me. I look forward to hearing from you again, but just know that I am not your mother anymore. Ashley and Ben are your parents. I am someone you can call a friend.

I raised my eyebrows as I read through her letter to him. She just wanted him to see her as a friend? The letter wasn't as harsh as I'd expected it to be, and I was glad but it still seemed cold and formal. She didn't mind if he wrote to her as long as he didn't consider her his mother. I could understand why he was sad about this. I knew he'd had hopes that they could reconnect.

"At least I can write to her still," he said with a shrug after I'd read the letter a few times.

"I know you were expecting more from her," I told him as I handed it to Ben. "I'm sorry Hayden."

"It upset me at first," he said and I could see that he had tear stains on his face. "But she is letting me write to her still. I worried that she would tell me never to contact her again, or even worse that she would ignore me."

"I think this is a good step," Ben said but I could tell he was saying it more to me than Hayden. I was sure he knew that I was angry that she just wanted her son to see her as a friend and not his mother.

It wasn't just that, she hadn't even bothered to update him on her life at all. I knew he'd been hoping to hear more about what was going on with her. He still didn't know if he had a brother or sister. It wasn't information we'd told him yet. Ben had decided it was best if we didn't quite yet. I wasn't exactly sure why since I knew he wanted to know about his brother or sister, and we'd promised him that we'd always be honest. I worried how he would take it when he found out that we knew she'd married and he now had a sister. Ben had told me we'd worry about it when the time came.

Hayden brightened up at his words and nodded quickly. A small smile spread across his face, and I understood what Ben was doing now.

"So will you write to her more then?" I asked him.

"Not all the time, but I'll tell her now I am doing at school," Hayden answered. "At least she'll know even if she doesn't write back. It just shows she is interested in my life, right?"

"Of course," I said.

I had to agree with that. She did seem as if she wanted to know more about his life. Perhaps it hadn't been as easy for her to let go as I'd originally thought. However, she should have just stayed in his life as his mother. I still hadn't forgotten how unemotional she'd been when we had talked. She had given up her magical son so she could have a normal muggle life.

It was almost the same as when Ellen's father had turned his back on the magic and his children. How could some people just give up on their children? I'd almost lost my youngest child, and I knew that I would never have been the same if I had truly lost her. I still remembered how terrible I'd felt when I thought I'd miscarried. Rachel had looked into the eyes of the son she'd had for nearly nine years, and she'd told him that she didn't want him anymore. I felt grateful every morning that I went into Hailey's room to wake her. I felt grateful anytime I could hold or kiss her. I was more grateful about the fact that I had five children in my life than about being magical, or even having a loving husband.

"I mean, it would have been nice for her just to be my mum again," Hayden continued. "But at least she wants to hear from me. I thought she was just going to ignore me because she didn't get back to me sooner. I'll have to use owls but Hogwarts does have the owlery. I wish she could have told me more about her. I would like to know if I have a brother or sister, and I want to know what's going on in her life too."

I glanced at Ben when he added the last part. Ben just smiled at Hayden however.

"Well I am sure you can ask her," he said. "Perhaps she just wanted to let you know that it's okay for you to write her first. Maybe you can catch up on everything else in other letters."

Hayden nodded quickly at that.

"I'm just going to write her back then," he said. "I just thought you two should know that she wrote me back. I'll see you in the morning."

And with that, he turned and hurried from the room. I was worried that he might return, or try to listen at the doors so I quickly cast some charms at the doors to prevent this. If he walked back into the room, we'd know about it.

"Do you really think this is healthy?" I asked Ben. "I'm glad she wrote back to him nicely, but she doesn't want him to write to her as her son. She just wants them to communicate as if they're friends."

"But it is the right step in the right direction," Ben told me. "Maybe if they write back and forth enough, she'll want more. We don't know what is going on through her mind right now. She could have just ignored him or told him to never write her again. Instead, she wrote back and she told him to write when he wanted to. Anyway, be honest Ashley, do you really want him to go back to her? I know I sure as hell don't."

"No," I said firmly. "I told her the moment that she decided to give him up that she couldn't have him back. Things are different now. He wants her and if she told him that she wants him, he would just resent us if we didn't let him go back to her. I don't know what to do in this situation because I don't want him to go back to her. She just should never have given up on her son in the first place. I just think this "friend" thing," and I did finger quotes when I said the word: 'friend.' "Is her way of knowing what's going on his life, but she doesn't have to take responsibility for him."

"It's exactly what it is Ashley," Ben said to me and he put a hand on my leg, "but as bad as it sounds, it's a good thing. I always thought it was odd that she could give up on her son like that. I believe it was harder for her to do it than we realized. It was probably the hardest thing she ever did, and she likely does miss him. She just didn't want the magic in her life. It's almost the same as your sister. Jaime wants to be part of your life, but without the magic. Rachel wants to know what is going on with Hayden."

"I can't believe your defending-" I began but Ben just shook his head and squeezed my leg.

"I'm not defending her Ashley. It's hard for either of us to comprehend, especially since we nearly lost Hailey. If it weren't for the fact that you couldn't have more children, I'd welcome another one in our lives. Not everyone is like you and me though," he said.

"Most people aren't like Rachel," I reminded him. "Most people appreciate the fact that they have children. Jaime might not want the magic in her life, but I can tell you that if her second child was magical, she would not give him or her up. She would accept it even if it was hard at first. Rachel was the opposite. She seemed happy that she had a magical child and she took care of him for nine years, and then she gave him up. Now she wants to be his friend instead of his mother. Don't you think that's a confusing message to be sending a child? Aren't you at all furious-"

"I've been furious with Rachel since the day she gave him up," Ben interrupted me. "I was even more furious with her when we thought we lost Hailey. All I could think about was the fact that we'd lost our baby, and she had chosen to give up hers. I am just as angry as you are that she just wants to be his friend and not his mother. However, as hard as it is for us to accept, it is good for Hayden."

"I will never see this as a good thing," I said to Ben. "I think it could lead to problems down the road. In my opinion, the only person this is good for is Rachel. I'm sure you're right about how hard it was for her to give up on Hayden. This helps for her to know how he is doing. I do believe she probably had wondered about him for the past three years. She doesn't have to be responsible for him, but she can at least know how he's doing without actually raising him. She can still have a "normal" life this way."

"But Hayden at least can talk to her, and we both know it's what he has wanted for the last three years," Ben said to me. "To us it's not a good thing, but to Hayden it is. It just made his day that she actually wrote to him, and she wants him to write again."

"Did you forget about the tear stains on his face?" I retorted.

"No I haven't," Ben said with a sigh. "It's obvious that it upset him to see that letter, but he is making the best of it and so should we."

"Hayden's twelve or at least almost," I said. "He's still vulnerable. She could still hurt him. He could hope in the future for more. Right now he is taking what he can get, but later on he might hope she'll want more and he'll be disappointed."

"I know," Ben told me. "I've thought of all that even before she got back to him. For now though Ashley, he wants this communication with her. If we tell him to stop writing her, it will make it worse. I know that you aren't about to go upstairs and tell him not to write her again."

"No, but I don't like this. I don't like the problems it could lead to," I said to him. "I just wish I knew her motives. It would make things easier. I want to talk to her, but not through a letter. I want to talk to her face to face."

"I was thinking the same thing," Ben said and then he seemed to hesitate before he added: "But I think it should be me who goes to talk to her. You'll just get angry and emotional with her. I can go and talk to her, and find out what she wants from this. I can also find out what her plans are.

I thought this over and finally gave him a nod. He was right that I would get angry with her. I had three years of anger directed at her. Ben would be able to sit down and talk to her calmly about it all.

"Well I think you should do this soon," I told him. "I want to know what's going on early on. I don't want him to get too emotionally attached to her."

"I'll go over tomorrow after work," Ben told me. "I'll have to find out where she lives, but from what Terry said, people do know them well enough in her new town. So I don't think it will be too hard. Now can we stop talking about this? You're getting yourself worked up. You need to work on that honey."

It was something my friends and family told me often, but I did get stressed a lot easier than I used to. I'd always been someone who let things get to me, but I was even worse than I used to be. I stressed about things that I shouldn't. I believed this was a different situation though. This was something to get stressed over. I didn't feel like arguing with him about it at the moment, so I kept my mouth shut. I knew I had to work on some things, but this wasn't one of them. This was something I needed to worry about because it could set Hayden back.

"I know what you're thinking," Ben said to me when I didn't respond. "And this is something to worry about, but not to work yourself up over. You're better than you used to be, but you still get too stressed. I know we need to worry, but getting ourselves worked up to the point we are stressed never helps. Remember it's what I did to myself years ago and it made me bitter. I don't want you to end up that way."

"I doubt I can ever end up bitter," I said to Ben with surprise. "I have everything I've always wanted out of life."

"So did I," Ben told me. "Sometimes I think you need to have some time off again and relax at home. The last time you had a baby to fret over. You know they'll let you take time off at the office. You returned to work sooner than t

"Ben I've been working since I was nineteen years old, and between maternity leave and stress, I haven't actually worked for more than three years," I said. "How would it look if I just took some time off now? I only just started full time a year ago."

"They want you to stay there forever if they can," Ben reminded me.

It was true. I'd never expected that my talent with charms could grow so much, but it had. I was told by the Head of the Department that she'd never seen someone as young as me with so much talent and potential. I'd managed to help them perfect charms that they had been working on for years. I'd been told more than once that they wanted me to stay and not return to the primary school. They believed my career could grow to the point that eventually I could be Head. I'd never expected that. There were times when I was told that perhaps I could help solve some charm work down in the Department of Mysteries. That wouldn't happen for years yet because I'd only really worked there for a year, and that was something for senior Ministry workers.

Lately they'd had me working on decoding some runes that contained instructions for some ancient charms. I had done well enough in Ancient Runes, and I had made some headway, but not enough. They even asked if I would be interested in travelling in the future. I'd told them I would be, but not until my children were all at Hogwarts. Perhaps once Hailey started her first year I would look into it. Ben fully supported this. He'd even said he could likely go with me since he worked in the Ministry as a Healer, but he could always go elsewhere if he wanted to.

"I don't think taking time off work is the solution," I said to him. "You're right, I just need to work on not getting worked up. It's not the same as it had been with you. Work stressed you out, but my work doesn't stress me at all. Right now they are putting me on bigger projects that could really help my career. Most of the things they have me doing aren't what they ask first year employees."

"You're technically not a first year employee," Ben said to me. "If that isn't the solution, it's fine. I just don't want you stressing out so much. Why don't we go to bed? We'll talk more about this after I've talked to Rachel."

"Sure," I said, "the potion is kicking in anyway."

I saw Ben shoot me a worried look, but he didn't say a word. He just took the remote and shut off the telly. He held out a hand for me to take which I did quickly.

Ben

I glanced around my surroundings before I took the disillusionment charm off. Terry had told me that there were old abandoned factory buildings by an old train station. So it was where I'd tried my best to end up. The problem with apparating to somewhere you'd never actually gone to was that you could end up anywhere. I wasn't sure where I would land or if there would be people around. Ashley's step-father had said that this area likely wouldn't have anyone around, and he was right.

Around me were old dilapidated buildings. I couldn't understand why muggles left certain areas this way. Why wouldn't they want to clean it up? It worked well for wizards because we took advantage of the fact that no one would be there. It was how we managed to have St. Mungos in a busy area of London. I just didn't get why they let certain areas go to waste. I stood in front of a blue building on cracked pavement that had grass and weeds growing through them.

I wasn't even sure where to go from here. I would have to wander around for a bit until I even knew where to leave this abandoned part of the town. It made me wonder what the rest of the town looked like. Had Rachel moved to a crummy town? I resented the fact that I had to spend my Friday afternoon looking for a woman I hated, but for my step son and my wife, it was exactly what I was going to do.

Ashley didn't seem to realize that I hated Rachel just as much as she did. Perhaps I hated her even more than she did. To this day I still couldn't work out how a parent could abandon their child. I'd seen it happen to Tasha, and then Michael and now Hayden. He wasn't even my son but I loved him as if he were my own. I'd watched him grow from a small baby to the young man he was today. When I had first met him, I'd never expected that he'd end up in my care, but in a way I was glad he did. I knew he was going to turn into a fine adult, and I was glad I could take credit for that.

For now he had to help him along the way, which was why I was in some town I'd never heard of. So I began my walk through the old streets and looked around for a way that could take me to the good part of town. Once I was there, I would have to see if there was anyone who actually knew Rachel so they could direct me to her house. I wished I could use my wand to search but of course I couldn't. I'd even take a mobile phone at the moment. Everyone in Ashley's family had something called smart phones and apparently they had something called a GPS on them. It was some kind of fancy map that could tell you where you were and how to get to your destination. I was actually impressed that muggles had invented something so useful. They managed to get through life that we used magic for with things like computers and phones.

It didn't actually take long for me to leave the factory area behind. As soon as I found the rail road tracks, I could see the nicer part of town. I was able to go straight to the downtown area from there. I couldn't believe that this town would leave such an eyesore right near their core area. I imagined it was a place the local teens went to get high or drunk. There were certain areas in Ashley's old town that the teens did just that.

Once I was in the shop area, I entered a book store where an elderly lady sat behind the counter. She gave me a warm smile as I walked over to her.

"Hello," I greeted, "I'm looking for an old family friend and I was told she lived in this town. The problem is, I don't know her address. I was hoping someone could tell me me whereabouts she lived."

"Well, I've lived here for sixty years," the elderly lady told me in a croaky voice. "I know almost every resident who has and who does live here. This is a fairly small town and we all look after each other. So I might be able to help you if she's lived here for a while."

"The woman I am thinking of has lived here for about three years," I told her. "Her name is Rachel Audley."

"Oh yes of course I know Rachel," she said excitedly. "She's a fine young woman. She comes in here often with her little girl Mylie. Such a sweet little girl, and she does have a love for books even at such a young age."

I felt relieved that it could be this easy. I'd worried that I was going to have to walk from person to person to ask about her. I'd picked the right shop to go to first. I smiled back at her.

"Could you tell me where she lives?" I asked now.

"I don't have her address but I do have her mobile number," the woman told me. "I'm supposed to call her when a book comes in for her daughter. In fact, I could call her up now for you. We do have that book now. I was supposed to call her yesterday, but sometimes I do forget," and she gave me a wink, "at my age you don't always remember everything that you should. Be thankful that you're still young. Someday you'll be my age and you'll lose something you just had moments before."

"That happens now," I told her good-naturedly. "If you could call her I'd appreciate it. I can't really stay in town for long, so it would probably be easier for both of us for her to meet me here anyway."

She gave me a small smile and then held up a finger as she picked up a mobile phone from the counter, and began pushing buttons on it. I moved around the store to look at the different books. Most of them seemed to be geared more towards children than adults. I could understand why it was that Rachel came here a lot. Perhaps I could even find some muggle books for the children here. We always bought them both muggle and wizard books. Ashley had given Alyssa a set of her old childhood books.

"She should be here in about five minutes," the elderly lady called out to me. "I told her she had a visitor as well."

"Thanks," I said as I turned to look at her. "I really appreciate your help."

"Oh no problem at all. You seem like a nice young man. Feel free to browse while you wait. Do you have young children?" She asked.

"I have five children," I told her.

"Well most of our books are for small children up to teenagers. How old are your children? You seem quite young to have so many," she said.

"The oldest is almost twelve and our youngest is two. We have twins as well," I told her.

"Twelve?" She asked me with raised eyebrows. "But you can't be more then..."

"I'm twenty-eight," I answered and she looked even more shocked. I smiled and tried not to laugh. "Our oldest is adopted," I explained. "We took him in a few years ago. He's my wife's godson. His mother couldn't take care of his anymore, so we took him. Our oldest biological child is seven, our twins just turned five and our little girl is two."

"That explains it then. Well good for you. I always admire someone who can take in a child not their own," she said and then she glanced out the window. "And there is Rachel and Myleigh now."

I turned to see Rachel just entering the bookshop. She hadn't noticed me yet, but I was standing off to the side. She had a small girl with red hair in her arms. I was little shocked to see that her daughter was a ginger considering she had black hair. Black hair would normally dominate the ginger, so even if Mart had red hair, it was a surprise that their daughter did. She was a cute little girl. She was about the same age as Hailey, though she was much bigger but our daughter had also been premature.

"Thanks for letting me know it was here," Rachel said as she approached the counter. "Myleigh gets bored with books so easily."

"Oh no problem my dear," the lady said. "I look forward to seeing Myleigh every time. I believe we'll have another stock of children books in next week. I also have some she may be interested in at home. My grandchildren are all grown up now, and I can't think of anyone better than Myleigh who I'd love to give them to."

"Thank you so much," Rachel said.

I watched their exchange quietly. Rachel really didn't look much different from the last time I'd seen her. She was thirty-eight years old now which was hard to believe. I still remembered meeting her when she was twenty-two. I had thought back then that she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She still had an exotic look to her and she didn't look her age. I believed she could pass for her early thirties at least. She was heavier than she used to be, but not by much which wasn't a surprise considering she'd had a child in her thirties. I'd heard it was harder to lose weight as you aged. It was something that worried me about Ashley. She was still far too thin, but if she gained weight, she could fall back into her old habits.

"The young man who came to see you is here," the lady added to her as she nodded in my direction. "I'm sorry but I didn't get your name."

Rachel turned to look at me and a look of surprise appeared on her face before she looked annoyed.

"Ben," she said. "Well, I guess I can't say I am too surprised to see you. I expected this, but not so soon. It didn't take long for you to find out where I lived. I'm surprised Ashley isn't here with you."

"I thought it was best if I came," I told her. "We need to talk."

Rachel sighed and I wondered if she was going to tell me that there was no chance. However she glanced back at me and gave a small shrug. She looked as if she realized that she didn't have much choice.

"Maybelle, do you mind looking after Myleigh for me for a few moments?" She asked the elderly lady.

"Oh no problem at all honey. I look forward to it. You know I'll baby-sit at any time," she said excitedly.

"Can you meet me outside Ben?" Rachel asked. "There is a tea shop next door. We'll talk there. I just want to get my daughter settled and then I'll be over. Order me a Earl Grey tea, milk in first. I'll pay you back when I get there," and then she seemed to hesitate. "You do have the money right?"

"Yes," I answered.

Ashley had actually told me to take some of our muggle money with me just in case. I hadn't thought that I would need it, but I was glad that she'd suggested it. Maybelle was looking from me to Rachel curiously. I gave her a smile and thanked her again before I exited the book shop. I walked over to the tea shop which was actually busy inside. I supposed since it was after five on a Friday it would be, but given the towns size I hadn't expected it. I imagined most of the town was here and I wondered if this was the popular spot.

I ordered us a couple of teas and then found a table in the corner. As soon as I sat down, a young woman with long blond hair who couldn't be older than twenty sat down across from me.

"Hello gorgeous," she said to me. "Is that extra tea for me?"

"No it's for a friend," I told her and held up my ring hand to show her that I was married.

Although it had annoyed me in the past when women flirted with me, at times I did feel flattered by the attention. I was now in my late twenties, and I still had young women who flirted with me. I always made sure to let them know that I was a married man, but I couldn't help but feel good about it. It wasn't as annoying as it had been in school. These women didn't know I was married, the ones who had flirted with me back then had known I had a girlfriend. They all wanted me to cheat.

"Well that's a damn shame," the woman said to me now. "She's a very lucky woman. I know if it were me, I wouldn't let you be out by yourself. I'd hate to think that women would be after you, and I am sure they are."

"My wife trusts me," I told her.

"And they've been married for eight years," someone said and I glanced up to see that Rachel had arrived. "They've also been together since they were sixteen," she added. "So you might as well find someone else Kimberly."

"Rachel, you didn't tell me you knew such a handsome man," she said.

"I used to baby-sit him," she lied quickly. "He's just come here to see how my life is now. We haven't see each other since I moved here three years ago. Now go on. He's married and I happen to know that he and his wife are very much in love. I've known them both since they were kids."

Kimberly looked annoyed, but she stood up so that Rachel could sit down. She seemed to linger for a few moments, but the look Rachel gave her sent her scurrying away. She headed over to a table where a few other young women her age were sitting. When she sat down, I saw her shake her head disappointingly as the other women leaned in. It made me smile because it took me back to times that this happened at Hogwarts.

"You should feel flattered," Rachel told me. "Kimberly is very picky and she's only nineteen. She doesn't usually go for men your age. Although it's hard to think of you as being that age. You're what? Twenty-seven now? I can't remember if you are a year younger than Ashley or the same age."

"I'll be twenty-eight in September," I told her. "And it's hard for me to believe too. I never thought we'd see thirty so soon, but time seems to have gone by quickly since we hit twenty or so."

"It usually does," Rachel said. "I never thought I'd be thirty-eight but here I am almost forty years old. So why do I owe the pleasure of your company Ben? I am assuming you and Ashley both know that Hayden wrote to me. Ashley did write down both your numbers in that letter."

"Of course we knew. Hayden told us what he wanted to do. We've always told him that we would support if he wanted to contact you," I told her.

"I'm a little surprised," Rachel said. "I could see Ashley telling him no to protect him. I know she is furious about what I did. I'm not going to sit here and go over my reasons with you again Ben. I know the two of you will never understand."

"Hayden will be going to school soon," I said to her. "Even if we told him not to write you, he'd find a way anyway. We thought it was best to just support him with this decision," and then I thought about her last words to me and the anger rose. I could feel my face heating up and I was sure that my cheeks were red. "No we don't understand how a mother could abandon her child. We nearly lost our daughter, so we will never understand how someone can willing give away their child."

Rachel paled a little. "Alyssa?" She whispered. "Why what happened?"

I knew before everything had gone down that she had adored Alyssa. It was why

\I still couldn't understand to this day how she could have given up Hayden or to kick us out of her life. She'd always been excited to see our children, and by the look of concern on her face, I could see that she still cared deep down.

"Not Alyssa," I told her. "We have another little girl now named Hailey. She's probably a month or so younger than Myleigh is. Ashley didn't know that she was pregnant when we'd gone to fight Halloween night three nights ago. Some of our people were causing problems and Ashley was hit by some-" and I stopped before I whispered the word: "hexes. The doctors thought that she'd miscarried the baby and for about a week there she was extremely depressed by it. I was devastated as well, but I thought Ashley might lose it. I'd never seen her that depressed in my life. Fortunately we found out that she hadn't lost Hailey. It was a very difficult pregnancy however and she couldn't do anything. She was so tired that she fell asleep easily and Hailey ended up coming early. She can never get pregnant again. The doctors think another pregnancy could kill her."

I thought back to the hopelessness I'd felt during those months. The stress I'd felt and the worry that my wife would never be the same. I'd blamed myself and her and magic. I explained the pregnancy and Ashley's behaviour the best I could without revealing anything to the muggles around us who could be listening in.

"So no of course I can't understand why you'd make that decision," I told Rachel.

"I'm so sorry Ben," Rachel said looking pale still. "I'm sorry the two of you had to go through that and I am glad that your daughter survived. I can understand your anger too, and I must look like a real bitch to you. I still stand by my decision though. I just can't take him back. I love him and I always will love him, but he belongs to you two. I can't raise a child who is like that. You and I both know he is better off with you. I know you don't realize it, but it was a hard decision for me to make. Ashley thought it was so easy for me but it really wasn't. I cried all night after Hayden left and Mart couldn't understand what was wrong."

"Doesn't he ever ask about Hayden?" I asked her.

"Not anymore, he did in the beginning, but I told him that he was better off with his father. I told him it was Hayden's decision to go. I was upset for months after and I believe Mart associated that with Hayden going," she told me. "I just can't take him back Ben if that's the reason you're here."

"It's not the reason I am here," I said to her. "Ashley and I would rather you didn't take him back after what you did. The problem is, Hayden does want to talk to you and we don't want to stand in the way of that. We just worry that you're going to get his hopes up. We worry that if there is a chance you could end up hurting him again. We are even worried that eventually you might realize you made a mistake and take him back. We both believe that isn't a good idea after what happened. We wouldn't stop it if you wanted that and he did, but we'd make sure that it was the right decision for all who is concerned."

"I'm not going to try and take him back," Rachel said to me. "I also made sure that Hayden understood in my first letter that I wasn't."

"Ashley's concerned that could change later on, or that you could give Hayden false hope. You don't understand how hard it was for him after it happened. He was angry all the time for months. The only reason he stopped was because he knew about Hailey. I think it scared him so much that he could lose another mother so he realized he should appreciate what he had. It's what his mind- his therapist believes too. We just don't want him to have set-back when you two communicate," I told her.

"I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen," Rachel told me. "Look I always knew that I was going to give him to you. As soon as I knew he was magical, I made that decision but it was hard. It's why I waited so long to do it. In the beginning, I'd planned to actually give him to Ashley's mother until Ashley was done school but I couldn't do it. It would likely have been better for him because he wouldn't have remembered much about me, but I was selfish. It was hard for me to do it. So I decided to wait until he was about to start school. When I got pregnant with Myleigh, I knew I had to do it sooner. Don't think for a moment I don't feel bad everyday about it. I was actually excited to get that letter from him. It was nice to find out how he is doing. He's better off emotionally and financially with the two of you. The two of you can provide for him better than me, and you know what to do with children with his, well with his talent."

"I just hope you don't hurt him again," I told her. "We know that Hayden is going to write you no matter what. Like I said, we felt it was better to support him. He's going to be twelve soon, he's at that age where he'll just do it behind our backs. So even though neither of us are happy about this, we will let you two write to each other. I am just asking you to be careful. Someday Hayden might even ask to see you again soon. If he does, we want to know about it. That's a decision that we'll want to make with Hayden."

"I'll make sure to tell him to ask you two first," Rachel said. "I would like to see him again but I just don't want Myleigh to know who he is. I know that bothered Hayden when I first told him. As far as Myleigh is concerned, she is an only child. I don't want her to know about the magic."

"See that is something I don't understand," I said. "I don't get why they couldn't know each other while Hayden kept the magic secret. Once children get to a certain age, they don't let out accidental bursts of magic anymore. All you had to do was tell Myleigh that he was going away to boarding school. He wouldn't have been allowed to do magic at home. It worked well for Jaime and Ashley. None of the muggles in your old town know about the magic."

"They actually do," Rachel said to me. "They just don't realize it. They knew something was odd about Ashley, but why would they think it was magic? Do you know hard it was for Jaime to try and fit in? She always had people asking her why Ashley did the things she did. You lot told them that she went away to a school for the talented, but none of them really believed that. People noticed things about Hayden too. It's why I moved here. I just wanted a fresh start with Myleigh and Mart. Ben, we can talk about this all evening but I'm still going to tell you the same thing. I made my decision three years ago, and I have stuck to it. If Hayden wants to see me, I want him to understand that Myleigh can't know who he really is. I'll just say I am an old family friend because it's somewhat true."

"Well as long as you stick to that," I said disapprovingly. "I am disappointed in you though Rachel. As a kid, you were someone I always admired. I loved the way you were when it came to Jaime and Ashley. I still haven't forgotten the way you told me off the first time we met. You clearly loved both Jaime and Ashley. It wasn't just Hayden you hurt that day, but Ashley as well. She had looked up to you most of her life."

"I could see the disappointment in her eyes when she came to tell me off," Rachel told me. "It wasn't easy for me to put her out of my life either. I'd never really been that close to Jaime so it wasn't too hard for me to stop talking to her. I always looked up to Mrs. Alexander, so it wasn't easy for me to stop talking to her either. I had never thought I would have her look at me that way. It's why I am surprised it's you sitting here, and not her. I would have thought she would want the opportunity to tell me off again."

"Like I said, it was easier for me to come. Ashley would let her emotions get in the way. It probably wouldn't have been an easy conversation between the two of you like it has been for us," I told her. "Besides I just don't want that stress on her. She's not as bad as she used to be, but she gets herself far too worked up. I am worried that this would make it worse, and I just want us to have a relaxing weekend. She's been taking sleeping potions just to sleep at night."

I hated it when she took the potions, and she knew it. That morning after she'd gone to work I had removed all the sleeping potions to a secret cabinet. I knew she could just brew them up if she needed to, but I hoped she wouldn't. If she truly needed one, I would go get one for her but I wasn't going to let it happen more than once a week. I had a feeling it was going to cause a fight but I was ready for it. I knew that was the opposite of keeping her from stressing, but this was something I'd have to take the chance with. I knew she would feel that I was treating her like a child, but this time I was standing firmly on my decision.

"Ashley has always been that way," Rachel said to me. "She's been like that since she was a little girl."

"But it's been worse since the miscarriage scare," I told her. "She gets herself worked up even more than she used to. It's better than it was a year ago, and we've all talked to her about it. She tries her best not to worry so much or get stressed to easily but I just think this would have been a set-back. That's the thing Rachel," I said with a sigh. "You being back in our lives can affect every single one of us. That's why I am here. I just want you to be careful because Ashley will stress about it, and Hayden has the potential to be hurt. It's going to be me that's going to have to pick up the pieces."

"I get it Ben, really I do," Rachel told me. "I'll be careful about this. If Hayden wants to see me, I'll make sure that the three of us talk about it first. I was actually really nervous when I first saw you in the bookshop but this has actually been good. I think it was a good that we had a talk. I still have an owl call that Ashley bought me after her first or second year. So if I need to get a hold of either of one of you, I will try."

I nodded and then she leaned forward and whispered: "I'm sure you could apparate in the alleyway between the bookshop and this tea shop. There is a fence at the front here blocking the entrance, but anyone can go around the back. They mainly just store garbage and the recycling back there. Sometimes kids go in there to smoke, but they won't be back there this time of day."

She then stood up and glanced down at me. "We'll be in contact Ben. I really should get back to the bookshop. I'm sure Maybelle and Myleigh are wondering where I am. I didn't tell her how long I'd be. We'll meet here again if you want to talk. Tell Ashley the same thing if she does want to see me."

"Just remember what I said if you keep talking to Hayden," I told Rachel.

"I will, bye Ben. Give Ashley my blessings," she said.

I still had some tea left, so I stayed where I was. The young women were still there, and I could see that they were staring at me. I quickly downed my tea and got up. I wasn't in the mood for the staring at the moment. I'd forgotten about them momentarily and I had to wonder if they had watched Rachel and me the entire time. Given what I remembered about Hogwarts, and how some women could be in the cafeteria at work, I imagined they had.

I got up and quickly walked past them.

"Bye gorgeous," the girls all said as I walked past them.

I felt some amusement and I couldn't wait to tell Ashley about the encounter. We always amused ourselves about this situation now. I was glad that she had no jealousy, but by this point she was used to it. After knowing each other for nearly sixteen years and being together for almost twelve, she knew what to expect. But then again, she had never really been that jealous when it came to me. It had always been the other way around.

When I went outside, I could see Rachel in the distance with Myleigh in her arms. She was headed down the street and I had to wonder where it was she lived. The way she was going was a way from the bad part of the town, so she must have lived in a good neighbourhood. I couldn't remember much about Mart of if he made good money. I stood watching her before I made way to the back of the buildings. The book shop was the first shop, so it wasn't hard to find the alleyway that Rachel had spoken of. I peered down it to make sure it was empty first. All I saw were some garbage bins, so I made my way to the middle before I turned on the spot.

I found myself in the kitchen. Hayden was sitting at the island and eating some crackers and cheese.

"You scared me," he said when I looked at him.

"Where is everyone?" I asked him. "Are you by yourself?"

"Alyssa is staying over at Ellen's tonight, Michael and Shelly decided to take the twins for the night and Jared and Leanne have Hailey," Hayden answered. "I am going over to Minnie's soon."

"Where is Ashley?" I asked him.

"Upstairs," Hayden told me. "She told me to tell you to go upstairs when you get home."

"Thanks mate," I told him. "I hope you have a good night at Minnie's"

I turned and left the kitchen quickly. Jared usually liked to take Hailey for weekends. Ever since we'd told him that he was her godfather, he tried to be in her life as much as possible. He'd been so touched when we'd named him godfather. He took his responsibilities very seriously. I was sure it was likely that she would be at his place until Sunday. He now lived with a nice girl named Leanne who treated Hailey and our children very well. She was one of the first girlfriends that he had who I actually liked. I believed this time one was a keeper.

I hurried up the steps and to our bedroom where I assumed Ashley was. I found her just sitting at her vanity table applying makeup and wrapped in a towel.

"Well you're making this easy," I said to her as I walked over to kiss her.

"We'll wait until Hayden is gone," she told me with a smile. "The kids will be gone all weekend. Alyssa and the twins are going to mums tomorrow night. Jared wanted Hailey for the entire weekend. That man adores that little girl. I swear sometimes he just wishes he could give us adoption papers."

"I could see it happening," I said as I thought about the way he was with not only Hailey but all of our children. He would make a wonderful father someday.

She looked back in the mirror to finish putting on her makeup.

"So how did it go with Rachel?" She asked.

"Not as bad as you would have imagined," I answered.

I was momentarily distracted as she stood up and dropped the towel. She did that often and sometimes I thought she did it on purpose. I really couldn't imagine that Hayden would come upstairs to our bedroom. He never had before. I had a feeling we could have an argument later, so I wanted to get in a good shag before there was a chance I'd be cut off for the weekend. So I pointed my wand at the door to shut and lock it. I hurried over to her as she opened her dresser drawer. She turned to look at me in surprise.

"Hayden won't come up here," I told her as I kissed her. "We have some time."

She rolled her eyes but she didn't protest. She wrapped her arms around me and allowed me to lead her to our bed.


	3. Chapter 3

"Guess what? I have my wand now, and mum and daddy let me practice some spells!" Minnie said as she ran over to join me at the picnic table. "Oh you are all tan Hayden!"

She had just used the floo network to come over. It was mid-afternoon close to the end of August and I was watching the kids. It was a nice sunny day, which was a relief. The last few days it had rained and so we'd all been cooped up inside. It was the first time I'd seen Minnie for over two weeks.

"Well I have been in Florida for the last two weeks," I reminded her. "I'm excited for Hogwarts, but I really didn't want to come back. I wish we could spend whole summers there instead of just two weeks."

"I wish we could have gone this year," Minnie said sadly.

For the last two years we'd gone to Florida for two weeks in the summer and we always went in the winter during our holidays. Usually Minnie and her family came with us as well, but her parents couldn't get the time off. Well, as her mother owned her daycare, she could have if she'd given enough notice but Barry couldn't. So she hadn't been able to come with us. Even though it would have been nice to have her there since it was all little kids with me, I'd still had a good time. I'd spent most of my days in the water. I'd been given a break from my baby-sitting duties and I could just be a kid on vacation.

"Well maybe we can all go during the Christmas holidays," I said to her. "Did you get your Hogwarts letter yet? I got mine when we were in Florida."

"I got it a few days after you all left," Minnie answered. "Daddy took me to get everything. I'm so glad to finally have my wand. I was jealous when you got yours."

"But I haven't been allowed to use mine," I said.

"But you have anyway," Minnie said with amusement. "I saw you."

"But I have to do it secretly," I answered. "Ashley and Ben told me that I couldn't use it until I got to Hogwarts. I have to keep it up. Alyssa and the twins haven't left it alone since I got it. They're all jealous because they want one too. William can control his magic somewhat and he's tried to summon it."

"Can't you still do that?" Minnie asked me. "You used to be so good at it."

I shook my head. I could remember as a small child, even younger than the twins when I could levitate things with no problem. Around eight or so, I wasn't able to do it anymore. I used to try and impress Michelle and Minnie with it. Apparently most magical children couldn't control it. They usually just had magical outbursts but they couldn't control what they were doing. Ben told me once he'd lost his temper and he'd blown up all his mothers figurines.

"Not anymore," I said. "I haven't shown you magic for years you know."

"I just figured you were done with showing off," Minnie said with a shrug. "I guess it's just something people outgrow. I've only ever been able to make things happen if I was upset or something. I was always jealous of you when we were little. Why do you think it stopped?"

"I think it was mum to be honest with you," I told her. "Mum used to yell at me anytime I did it on purpose. I think I just lost it. After that, I only made things happen when I was upset. It will be nice to control my magic again. I just wonder if it means I am going to be powerful. Ollivander told me that my wand was powerful, and Ben said it was rare for kids to control their magic. They're impressed that William can do it, and they wonder why Cameron can't. I always wonder that too. William and Cameron are twins but they're as different as night and day."

"Just because they're twins, it doesn't mean they are the same person," Minnie told me. "That's why Aunt Ashley wanted them in different classes. She wants Cameron to find himself."

"I know that, but I still wonder if one will be more powerful than the other," I said. "Cameron is smarter than William though. He gets better grades."

I looked over at the twins. They always preferred to play in the sand castle over the anything else in the yard. The other kids were playing on the jungle gym. Michelle looked bored as she sat on a swing, but she wasn't pumping her feet.

"Maybe William will be better at magic but Cameron will be better with school work," Minnie said. "What houses do you think they'll be in?"

"Hufflepuff for Cameron and Gryffindor William," I said quickly. "What about you? Which house do you think you'll be in?"

"I still think I'll be Hufflepuff," I said. "I don't know why, but I just get the feeling I'll be in the same house that Ashley and Ben were in. I can't see myself being in Ravenclaw and I don't think I am brave enough to be in Gryffindor. I can't be Slytherin since I'm muggleborn."

"I think you could make a good Ravenclaw or Gryffindor," Minnie said to me. "You're a lot braver than you realize Hayden. You've been through a lot and you've taken it well. You're also very smart. You've always had good grades."

"I expect you'll be Ravenclaw," I said to her. "All Hoofer's except Ben have been Ravenclaws."

"You're a Hoofer," Minnie said to me with a smile.

"Only by name," I said. "You really want me in the same house as you don't you?"

"Well it would be nice Hayden. We've always been together. It will be weird if we are separated," she said.

"We'll still each other enough if we aren't though," I said. "You'll always be my best friend."

"I just hope Colleen isn't Ravenclaw."

I snorted at that one. Colleen was nothing but a silly girl who got bad grades. I couldn't imagine her being sorted into Ravenclaw house. She was one of those girls who enjoyed gossip and backstabbing. I believed she had a crush on me, but I had never liked her. Ever since primary one when she had thrown sand in my face I'd hated her. She'd tried to turn some of Minnie's friends, including me against her during our last year in primary school.

"She won't be," I said.

"Well I can't see her being Hufflepuff. There is nothing about her that is loyal," Minnie said. "She's half-blood, so she could end up being a Slytherin."

"I just hope I don't have any idiots in my house," I said as I thought back to our primary classmates.

For the most part, we all did get along but there were some kids that I just didn't like and they didn't like me. Ashley and Ben had taught me from an early age that not all Slytherins were bad. I knew enough of their Slytherin friends to know it was true. However, there were people out there who were pureblood enthusiasts who were obviously going to be Slytherins just because they came from a long line of them. They were the people who came Slytherin house a bad name. Even as young as primary three they'd made their views known. I tried to keep my distance from them.

It wasn't just the pureblood enthusiasts but just kids in general that were hard to get along with. People who were like Colleen or a bloke by the name of Carter. He was a big bully and I hoped so much that whatever house I ended up in, he wouldn't be in. He was a smart kid so I believed he could be a Ravenclaw.

"I'm nervous about going," Minnie said. "I'm excited but I have never been away from home for so long. We're not going to be home until Christmas!"

"I'm not too worried about that," I said to her. "The only part about that is I'll miss my family but I am not scared to be away from home. I am used to it though. I even lived at your place for a few months. Living with Ashley and Ben is actually the longest I've stayed anywhere. Mum always dropped me off somewhere for months at a time."

"That's why I don't get why you're so happy to be talking to her," Minnie said to me. "She doesn't even want to be your mother. She just wants to be in contact with you."

"I have to take what I can get," I said to Minnie. "I heard Ashley saying the same thing to Ben when we were in Florida. I know they aren't happy that I'm talking to her, but they're letting it happen."

"Well I agree with them," Minnie said. "I know you're going to do what you want. I just think it's wrong that a mother prefers to be a friend instead of a mother."

"Don't think I haven't thought about that," I told her.

In fact, I had been devastated when I'd first read her letter. She'd made it more than clear that I could contact her as long as I knew that she was no longer my mother. Calling her my friend was odd because she was a thirty-eight year old woman and I was twelve. I couldn't even call Ashley my friend before she'd become my guardian. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to call her, but she wasn't my friend.

"When I have kids I am always going to love them no matter what," Minnie said. "If my kid is a squib or something, I will still love them."

I didn't say anything to that. What could I really say? At the moment I was feeling defensive about my mother, but I didn't want to fight with Minnie either. I knew she was right anyway. A parent should always love their children. Ben's parents loved me as if I were their own grandchild, I knew they had loved Michael as their own, and of course Ben and Ashley loved me. I was sure my mother had to love me too if she wanted to talk to me.

I knew that Ben had gone talk to my mother the day after I'd receive her letter. At first I'd been angry about this. I'd been worried that perhaps he'd gone to tell her to not write me again. I was also upset that they had gone behind my back to do so. They had always promised to be honest with me when it came to her. They hadn't even bothered to tell me right away about it. Instead, I'd gone to Minnie's. It wasn't until the Sunday when I got home that I found out. I overheard Ashley and Ben telling Ellen about it, and I was angry that she knew before me.

"Excuse me, but why exactly did you go and see my mother?" I demanded as I entered the kitchen where they were drinking butterbeer.

I almost expected for them to get angry with me for my tone. I wasn't normally allowed to talk to them like that, but Ben just patted the stool beside him for me to sit on.

"We just wanted to know exactly what your mother wants out of this relationship with you Hayden. We also did plan to tell you about this. I didn't tell you on Friday because you were going to Minnie's. I didn't want to tell you and then send you away for the weekend," Ben explained to me.

"So what did you two talk about then?" I asked not backing down.

Ben explained that they had just talked about what she wanted with our relationship. He told me that she just wanted to know what was going on in my life, but she wanted me to stay with them.

"I know you've been wondering if you have a brother or sister now," Ben continued. "You now have a little sister named Myleigh. She is the same age as Hailey is."

"What about Mart?" I asked.

I'd never really liked Mart. I'd told Ashley and Ben that he had been mean to me, but he never really had. However, I sensed that he'd never really liked me. I still believed to this day that he influenced mum to give me away. Ben told me that mum had always planned to give me away, but I found it odd that once he was in her life that she did it. As soon as he was around, mum ignored me even more than before. She always dropped me off at the Alexanders, Jaimes, or had Barry's family take me. That had been going on most of my life, but it happened more with Mart. She also got more impatient with me and my magic. She got meaner than she'd ever been. It was why I eventually wrote and asked Ashley if I could at least stay with her and Ben for the summer.

"They are married now," Ben told me.

For a while I was hurting after that. Mum had basically chosen a new family over me. At first I didn't want to write to her again. After a few days though, I realized I still did want to talk to her. It hurt knowing that she didn't want a mother son relationship with me, but as I told Minnie, I had to take what I could get. At least she did want to know what was going on with me.

"Grandmother Hoofer is having a big party for us you know," Minnie said interrupting my thoughts. "She wants everyone in the family to be there. She said it's probably going to be the last family get together in a long time."

"They'll still have them," I said. "They'll just have them without us."

On certain Sunday's, everyone in the family got together for a big dinner at Ben's parents house. We didn't have them as often as we used to. When we were younger, it was every other Sunday, but now it was something that happened maybe once a month. Usually Ashley's mother had them as well, but they were of course much smaller than the Hoofer dinners.

We'd had a big party back in July for Minnie and Charles birthdays. Charles actually had a birthday in August, but every year we had a joint party for them. I knew Minnie was getting tired of them. She'd told me at the last party that she just wanted to have her own parties from now on, but she didn't know how to break it to her grandmother. I was sure Mrs. Hoofer wouldn't be too disappointed about this. She'd likely be happy if they could have two parties at her place. She always said she missed having kids over.

"You don't seem too upset," Minnie said to me. "I am so scared about going, and I am going to miss my family. You are so relaxed about it. Aren't you at all nervous at all? We're going away from our families. I mean, you've never been away from family for so long."

"It could be worse you know," I said to her. "When Ashley went, she didn't know anybody at all. Your parents didn't know anybody at all. We're lucky that we at least know our classmates. The only difference now is we don't go home after classes. We'll have more freedom now Minnie. You're thinking way too much about all of this. There is nothing to be afraid of. I'll miss the kids, but at least I won't have someone bugging me all the time. Alyssa never leaves me alone at night. During the day she has Clarissa but she follows me everywhere and she always wants me to play with her."

"She just looks up to you Hayden," Minnie said as she looked over at Alyssa and Clarissa. "You know, we should see if we can invite Charles over sometimes. Michelle seems so lonely. You won't hang out with her, so she is always by herself."

"She doesn't have to come over here," I reminded Minnie. "She could stay at home and invite her own friends. She has a lot of friends at school."

Michelle was still sitting on the swing. I didn't understand why she always came over here. She really didn't play with Alyssa and Clarissa because she found them too childish. A lot of the time she spent her time with Elliot and Hailey, but the two of them were over playing with Elaina. She could have invited one of her many friends from school. I didn't really talk to her, but I saw that she was always surrounded by a group of girls in her year. From what Alyssa had told me, she was almost the leader of her group. The girl wasn't by any means lonely, and yet she always tagged around her sister during the summers.

"Besides, Brianne wouldn't allow it. She doesn't think that I am old enough to look after so many kids by myself. She doesn't trust me even though Shelly and Ellen are always home. If anything happens, I can always get a hold of them. Ashley told her she could send over Charles and Mackenzie but she won't," I told Minnie.

"But I am here too," Minnie said. "There are two of us here to watch them all. She just seems so lonely. I don't understand why you don't like her. She's a perfectly nice girl you know."

"I know she's nice, but I've just never liked her," I said. "Maybe it's because she is younger, but I just don't want to hang out with her. She is the one who chooses to hang out with the little kids. I even heard Ellen telling her that she could invite her friends over to play in the pool."

Minnie gave a small shrug and then sat up straight quickly. I looked at her and then over to where she was staring. Ben was walking across the yard towards us. I was surprised because it was early. So I wondered if something was wrong. Usually he and Ashley didn't get home until after five or so. I didn't think it was even three in the afternoon yet. I stared at his face to see if I could read him, but he was expressionless.

"Good afternoon kids," he said when he got closer.

"Everything okay?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said. "I just came out to see what you lot were up to. It's good to see you again Minnie. We missed you and Trevor in Florida."

"Hi Uncle Ben," Minnie said. "We really wanted to go you know."

"Why are you home?" I asked him with confusion. "It can't be five already right?"

"No it's not five yet," Ben said. "They didn't need every Healer on site today, so I took the opportunity to leave. It's not often that I can come home early."

He sat down at the picnic table with us. The little ones obviously hadn't noticed that he was home otherwise they would all be over here. Alyssa was a big daddy's girl. I looked back at the kids who were still too involved in their play to notice him. They usually didn't pay much attention to me or Minnie anyway.

"I wanted to talk to you anyway," Ben said to me. "We wanted to know if you wanted a pool party before you went to school. We won't be able to celebrate your birthday in September this year after all. Back in the day, we used to celebrate Ashley's birthday before we went back to Hogwarts. We usually had a big pool party. You're more than welcome to start having one before school. I know it's a bit late, but it's been a busy summer. I decided now was the best time to talk to you."

"Oh could we?" Minnie asked me. "We can see everyone before we go to school. We'll see everyone before they're all sorted."

"I'm not inviting the whole class," I told her with amusement. "And I don't see why you think everything is going to be different after our sorting."

"Everyone knows things change after the sorting," Minnie said. "People seem to think their houses define them, and they no longer hang out with people outside their houses anymore."

"That's just silly," I told her. "You're talking about our parents sorting, but it's different for us now."

"No it isn't," Minnie insisted. "I talked to people in the other years you know. Some of them aren't friends with the people they were before the sorting. Remember Yvette and Holly? They were best friends from primary one until primary seven. Now they're in their third year and they don't talk because Holly went to Slytherin and Yvette is in Gryffindor. They threw away a seven year friendship because of the houses they were sorted in! I still talk to Holly and it was Yvette who stopped talking to Holly."

"Well they're just silly girls anyway," I said. "It won't happen to us," and then I looked at Ben who was watching us with amusement. "Anyway, I'll have a pool party if people want to come over. I'll start writing to the people I want to come, and Minnie can too."

"Do you want the family to come as well?" Ben asked me.

I actually hated it when they felt the need to invite all the kids in the family for birthdays. Perhaps it was fine when we were all younger, but I just wanted to hang out with people my age. I felt that we should have a separate party with the family. I knew this was somewhat of a tradition that they had started years ago. I knew Ashley used to invite everyone she knew to her parties, even people in the younger years but I didn't want to do that. I just wanted friends of mine at my party. Maybe when the kids were older I'd see it differently, but I didn't want a bunch of five year olds there. Most of the time it meant that we had to watch out for them. So I shook my head. Ben grinned at me.

"I didn't think so. Mum said she is having a going away party for the two of you. We'll just combine that with your birthday if you'd like. We're all getting together anyway," Ben said to me.

"Is it at possible to make sure the younger kids aren't around?" I asked wondering if I was pushing my luck.

Ben grinned at me. "I'm sure we can arrange something. I'll tell you what. Why don't you see if you can get everyone here on the thirtieth? That's a week and a half away, and it gives you time to get a hold of your friends. Mum is having her party of the thirty-first. By that point we'll be able to send the other children to their friends."

"Thanks a lot," I told him. "I am going to miss them, but I just want this party for people my age."

"It's understandable Hayden. You're going to be twelve. I can't think of too many twelve year olds who would want to hang out with a seven year old. Ellen usually felt the same way about Timmy. Ashley used to invite him and his friends over to our parties, and it used to drive Ellen crazy. She hated having her little brother at her parties until he was about fifteen or so," Ben told me still smiling.

"So why did Ashley invite the younger kids?" I asked.

I always wondered why that was. I knew she'd befriended some of the younger students when she had been at Hogwarts. She was still friends with them to this day. She'd been named godmother to her friend Alana's baby. Her friend June was married to Ellen's brother Timmy. A friend of theirs named Tracy usually came around as well. I knew she had what she called a 'sister' group, and some of them were in their older years at Hogwarts.

"Ashley just wanted them to feel involved. She originally just started it to help out the shy kids, but she ended up becoming their friends and they have always looked up to her. So she invited them to our parties," Ben answered and I noticed the expression on his face changed when he mentioned it.

Usually when he talked about Ashley he wore an adoring look on his face. I knew he loved her a lot. I hoped someday I could meet a woman I would love as much as he loved her.

"Someday that might change for you too," Ben told me. "It was the same when it came to Barry and me. We're close now, but we really weren't when I was Alyssa's age. He spent time with me when he could, but if his friends were around, he hated it when I hung out with him. It wasn't until I was older that he started hanging out with me. Brenda was the same way when it came to me as well. I don't even think she stopped seeing me as six years old until I finished Hogwarts. I'm sure there will come a day when you'll feel the same way about the kids. Maybe not so much Hailey because she's ten years younger, but I can imagine someday you'll be closer to Alyssa or the twins."

"I don't think I'll ever be close to Trevor," Minnie said and she made a face. "I love him but he's a pest. Mum just bought me some makeup and he got into it yesterday."

"But he's five and you're eleven. Ten years from now that could be different. Ellen used to say the same thing all the time. You've seen them hang out. You'd never know that she used to call Timmy a pest all the time," Ben told her. "Anyway kids, we'll make sure the party will be just for kids your age."

He stood up and glanced over at the jungle gym. Without another word to us, he rushed over to greet them. The moment they realized he was there, they all yelled out excitedly. Alyssa jumped from the top of the jungle gym to run into his arms. I hated it when she did that when I was watching her. She had yet to hurt herself, but I could imagine her doing it on my watch.

"I guess we have a party to plan now," Minnie said to me excitedly. "You know, we could make this tradition. We could do it every year. Ashley and Ben used to and now we can keep it up."

"Ashley and Ben still do that," I told her.

"You know what I mean," Minnie said. "We can have a party before we go to Hogwarts every year. We can carry on our parents tradition!"

"So who do you want to invite?" I asked her. "Let's go up to my room. We can make a list of people we'll invite."

"Yeah!" Minnie said jumping up excitedly.

I couldn't help but smile at her. She absolutely loved parties. She was always happy all the time. I wasn't sure where I would be without her. Of course Ashley and Ben had helped me out, but Minnie was my rock. Whenever I'd felt as if I could fall into self-pity, she was there to pull me out of it. There was a time when my marks were slipping back in primary five, and she'd told me off for it. She stepped in and made me work harder. I would always be thankful that she was in my life.

"I don't see why I can't go to your party," Alyssa said to me. "I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm seven now."

I turned to see Alyssa standing in my doorway in a nightgown. It was the morning of my party and she was supposed to be spending the day at Brianne's.

"That's still too young for my party," I told her.

She'd been nagging me about it since she'd found out a week and a half ago about it. It was now the morning of my party. I knew the twins were upset about not being allowed to go either, but neither had made their opinion made as much as she did. Cameron had pouted and cried while William had told me that he was glad I was going away to Hogwarts.

"Why? What are going to be doing?" Alyssa asked.

"We're just going to be swimming, but it's just for people who are in my class," I told her. "We've talked about this everyday Alyssa. Just let it go already."

"But Hayden, you're going away for a long time soon," Alyssa said. "We won't get to spend anytime together anymore. You said you would spend time with me this summer, but you didn't. Minnie came over everyday and you told me just to play with Clarissa. We didn't have one day to ourselves like you promised we would."

I sighed as I looked over at her. She was right about that one. I'd even told her that in Florida we would spend a day just her and me together but we hadn't. I'd thought that I would have all summer to get the chance to do it. Now I was leaving in two days and we hadn't at all. I'd spent one on one time with Cameron and Hailey quite a bit, but I hadn't with William or Alyssa. I felt bad as I realized this.

"You know what?" I said to her. "My party is all day today, but I am not doing anything at all tonight. You and me can have a slumber party. We'll watch your favourite movies and then you can sleep in my room if you want tonight. We'll do all that if you promise not to fake a fuss anymore about today."

"Really?" Alyssa asked excited.

"You can't complain about it anymore though," I reminded her. "You just have fun with Mackenzie and Clarissa today. You really haven't seen Mackenzie all summer."

"I will," Alyssa said with a big grin on her face. "And the twins or Hailey won't be around right?"

"Nope, it's just going to be you and me tonight," I told her.

Just as I told her that, Ashley appeared in the doorway behind her. Alyssa turned to her excitedly.

"Guess what mummy?" She said excitedly. "Hayden said that he and I can have a slumber party all by ourselves tonight! He said it will just me and him and no one else!"

"That sounds exciting," Ashley told her. "Now why don't you get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast. Hailey is asking about you."

"I'll be quick!" Alyssa said and she turned and ran past her mother.

Ashley stepped into the room and gazed around it. I'd never really done much to add personality to it since I'd moved in. She always insisted what we should decorate it for me. The twins had Quidditch themed rooms and the girls were extremely girly. Mine still had plain white walls. I had a feeling she was thinking about this while she looked around. I'd just never had an idea of what I wanted and while I liked Quidditch, I didn't have a team I supported. I just enjoyed watching or playing the game. I believed Ben and Michael had the twins competing with their favourite teams.

Sure enough she looked at me and said: "You know, if you want we can decorate this room to represent whichever house you're sorted in. We can have it done by the time you get home for Christmas."

"Sure, if you want to," I told her.

I actually liked this idea a lot. Minnie actually already had her room kind of Ravenclaw themed. It was half girly while you could see Ravenclaw touches as well. I believed it was safe to say that she would be sorted there however. For me, I only knew that I wouldn't end up being in Slytherin, but I could end up in any of the other three. It was a bit premature for me to favour one over the other.

"Only if you want us to," Ashley told me. "It is your room, and if you like it like this, it's fine. I've just always wanted you to add some kind of personality to it. It is yours to do what you want with."

I knew this was her way of telling me that I always had a home with her. I knew that but it didn't stop her or Ben from reminding me. I was sure it was something the therapist had told them to do. I never once questioned their love for me, but I often wondered if they thought I did. They were constantly reassuring me and while it was nice knowing, it was also quite annoying as well. I felt as if they were doing it out of pity or something.

"I would like that," I told her. "I've just never really thought about how I want to decorate it. I'm not into Puddlemere United or the Appleby Arrows and I don't really need any childish themes on my wall either. There has never been anything I've wanted to represent in my room before. If you and Ben want to decorate my room then go ahead."

"My mum and sister did that for me," she told me.

I knew that, and I also knew mum had helped out with it, but she didn't mention it. I knew she was deliberately not mentioning my mother. While she would not forbid our communication, I knew she was completely against it. I'd noticed lately that she just chose not to talk about it unless I brought it up to her. I knew she had her personal issues with my mother however. Ben had explained to me that she'd felt just as let down as I had when mum had left our lives.

"You must understand that Ashley had looked up to Rachel her entire life. She was really angry with her for what she did to you, but she took it as a personal betrayal as well," Ben had told me. "She's still very upset with your mother, and she doesn't like how she is handling this now. She's scared you're going to get hurt again. It's why I went to talk to your mother."

"I know you don't want me talking to her either even if you let me," I said. "Neither of you do. It's not a secret that no one wants me to talk to her, not even Minnie does. I know no one will ever understand."

"No we understand why you want to talk to her, even though we both know you're still angry with her as well. We just don't understand your mother, especially now that we both came so close to losing our own child. Neither Ashley nor I can understand how someone can just choose to give up their child the way she did. We love you Hayden, and so we are always going to support you, and this is something you want to do, so we won't stop you. I just want you to remember not to have high expectations when it comes to her. She's hurt you once, and she can do it to you again," Ben had explained to me. "Someday you'll be a parent with your own children and you'll understand what it's like to love a child."

So now I didn't bring her up unless it was to let them know if I got a letter from her. I knew Ashley wouldn't want to talk about the fact that mum had helped decorate her room, so I left it that. I just looked around my room and thought about it would look with Hufflepuff themed walls. I actually quite liked the image I had in my mind. I'd inherited my mothers talent when it came to art. I figured I could add my own touches as well, and for the first time I actually felt excited about the idea of decorating my room.

"You know what?" I said to her. "Maybe that is something we can do together when I come home. I can add my own paintings and you and Ben can do what you want too."

She smiled at me. "Well I suppose we can do that before we take off to the Florida. I've been looking forward to helping my kids decorate their rooms with their Hogwarts houses. I don't know if Alyssa will want to do that because she is such a girly girl. She will never be a tomboy like I was."

"Well Minnie's room is girly and Ravenclaw," I reminded her.

Ashley smiled at that. "I'm sure it will be a good chance that she will be there, but it will be funny if she's put in another house. We told Barry and Tasha that they should hold off on that, but they did it anyway. They did that with Trevor as well, and I'm sure they'll do it with the new-"

She stopped herself before she went any further and I stared back at her in shock. Had she been about to say what I thought she was going to say?

"The new what?" I asked her. "Is Tasha pregnant?"

"Yes, but they haven't told Minnie yet. They're waiting until tomorrow morning to tell her and then they're going to tell everyone else tomorrow at the party," Ashley told me. "Please don't say anything to Minnie. Tasha and Barry want to be the ones to tell her. I shouldn't have let it slip like that."

"I won't tell her but I've never kept a secret from Minnie before," I told her.

"I know you haven't," Ashley said. "It's my own fault. Tasha only just found out recently and Barry told us last night. I'm usually better at keep secrets than this."

"I won't say anything," I told her. "I know they've wanted another. Minnie told me that Tasha wanted at least one more kid. So do Brianne and Brenda," and then I smiled. "Hey maybe they'll get all get pregnant together again. All of you seem to get pregnant at the same time."

"Maybe," Ashley said with a smile. "Well Hayden, I'll let you get ready. The kids will be leaving soon enough, but I think Hailey wants to see you before she leaves."

Just like Alyssa, I couldn't turn down a request from Hailey, so as soon as Ashley left, I dressed as quickly as I could. I made sure to put my swimming trunks on underneath so I wouldn't have to change later. I then hurried out of my room, down the steps and then headed to the dining room. Everyone was already seated at the table. William and Cameron appeared to be arguing over a Ninja Turtles plate. Alyssa was excitedly showing Hailey some kind of necklace. Ben was reading the Daily Prophet and Ashley was just bringing breakfast out.

"Hayden we want to have a slumber party with you too," Cameron told me as soon as I sat down.

"It's just for Alyssa and me tonight, and anyway blokes don't have slumber parties. They have sleep-overs. We'll have one some other night," I told him.

"You're going to Hogwarts soon and you won't be back until Christmas," William reminded me. "That's years and years."

"It's three months," I told him. "It's about a hundred or so days, maybe a little more than that."

"That is a long time," Alyssa said. "It's still August and Christmas is in December! We won't see you for so long. Maybe you shouldn't go. Hailey might forget who you are."

"I'm sure she'll remember me just fine," I said. "Anyway, I haven't spent all summer with just Alyssa. So tonight we are going to hang out."

"You haven't spent all summer with me either," William spoke up. "You've only played with Minnie or Cameron or Hailey. I didn't get to go anywhere with you once."

"When I get back I will then," I said knowing he was telling the truth about this. "I promise. I know it seems like a long time, but it really won't be. I'll send all of you pictures while I am gone."

"And you'll write to us too right?" Alyssa asked.

"Yes, I'll write as well," I told her.

"Everyday?" William asked.

"Maybe not everyday but when I can," I told him.

As annoying as they all could be at times, at that moment I realized I really was going to miss them. I regretted the fact that whenever I had baby-sat them that summer, I'd spent all my time with Minnie. I'd only kept an eye on them but I hadn't played with them as I should have. I'd decided shortly after my eleventh birthday that I was too old to play, but I shouldn't have had that attitude with them. I should have done more instead of just sitting at the picnic table. They were all after all my younger brothers and sisters, even if we didn't share the same blood.

My presence seemed to have stopped the fight between the twins. Ashley began to put food on everyones plates and William let Cameron have the Ninja Turtle plate. I wasn't sure why Ashley and Ben had only bought them the one plate. With twins, you had to always make sure you had two of everything. It always led to fights, and while the twins did have different interests, there were some things they both enjoyed. At times it didn't even matter if they liked different things. William liked the Puddlemere United Quidditch team, but sometimes Cameron wanted his models. I believed it was just a competition thing the two of them had.

"Hayden," Hailey said to me once we were done eating. "I wanna play."

"We can play until you go over to Michael and Shelly's," I told her.

"Can we play too?" Cameron asked me. "We want to play too."

"We can all play until all of you have to leave," I said.

"I'll see you later Hayden," Alyssa told me. "I'm going to go over to Clarissa's now, but I already have plans for our party tonight. You can play with the little kids for now."

"I am not a little kid!" William said as he got up from the table. "I am five years old now. I am going into Primary two!"

"No fighting," Ben said immediately. "This is supposed to be a fun day for everyone. Now, William you are going over to play with Trevor today. I want you to be a good boy, and please do not ruin his Chudley Cannon robes this time."

"But the Cannons are rubbish," William told Ben. "They're even worse than the Ballycastle Bats."

"Everyone is better than the Cannons," Alyssa said she got up as well. "That's not really saying much. Besides, the Holyhead Harpies are the best team ever. Ginny Potter was on that team."

"Ginny Potter is only one player," I told her. "She might have been a good Chaser but the rest aren't as good."

"They're still not a bad team," Ashley spoke up. "They beat the Falmouth Falcons last night and they were unbeatable for most of the season."

"That doesn't mean anything," I retorted.

Ben started to laugh. "Moving on from the Quidditch talk for now, and believe me, I do like a good debate but we have too much to do today. Cameron, you are going over to play with Graysen today. Remember that you cannot do any magic today."

"I never do magic around Graysen," Cameron said. "I never do it anyway. I can't do it like William. Why can't I do it like William mummy?"

"I don't know honey," Ashley answered. "Just remember to control your temper. Aunt Jaime doesn't want Graysen to know anything about magic. You have to be very careful about what you say or do around him."

"I know," Cameron said sounding exasperated. "You tell us every time we see him. We know he is a muggle and that we can't do magic around him."

"Watch the tone Cameron," Ben said.

"I'm going to Clarissa's now," Alyssa said and she walked over to where Hailey was sitting on her booster seat at the table. "I'll see you later Hailey," she said and she leaved over to kiss her on the cheek. "You'll get to play with Elliot and Elaina today."

"You be good at Brianne's," Ashley told her. "Ellen will be taking the three of you over their shortly. Do not hide Charles' shoes this time."

"That was a one time thing mummy," Alyssa told her. "We won't do it again. We only did it because he wouldn't stop following us around. Aunt Brianne told him to watch us, but we didn't need him to. We hid his shoes so that he wouldn't follow us outside. He'll have Michelle to keep him company today. I think he has a crush on her."

"That just sounds odd to me," Ben said to Ashley as they began to clear the table. "They're not old enough for that yet are they? Hayden isn't even old enough for that."

"He's going to be twelve soon Ben, he is going to like girls," Ashley told him.

I didn't say anything to that, I just helped Hailey down from her seat. I wasn't going to tell them that I did indeed have a crush on a girl in my class. I didn't know why Ben seemed so shocked. I'd heard enough of their stories from school to know the truth. Michael and Ellen had both been twelve when they'd had their first girlfriends and boyfriends. He and Ashley had been thirteen. I knew the discussion was between the two of them anyway.

"Let's go outside and play until the three of you leave," I said.

"Can we going flying? You promised we'd fly this summer and we didn't," Cameron said.

I looked over to Ben and Ashley for confirmation for this. They weren't allowed to fly when I was just baby-sitting but they didn't care when they were home. Ben had only just started teaching the twins recently on real brooms. William was a natural while Cameron had been nervous at first. If I took them out flying, I wasn't allowed to let them go up too high.

"What about Hailey?" Ashley asked me.

"She can sit on the front of my broom," I told her. "I've taken her on my broom several times. She won't fall."

Ashley had seen me fly with Hailey multiple times. I used to do the same with each of the twins as well. However, I still expected her to say no. Usually when I did this, someone was outside with us and I knew they were planning on staying inside. They still had a lot to do before the people that Minnie and I invited over arrived.

"Just don't fly up too high," she said but I noticed she was talking more to William than me. She knew I wouldn't fly high with Hailey on the broom.

William didn't answer her, he just ran from the room quickly. I carried Hailey from the room while Cameron trailed after me. We kept all the brooms by the back patio door. Mine was already packed in my trunk for Hogwarts, but we had more than enough for everyone. I gave the twins a broom each before grabbing Ashley's. I wasn't even sure why she owned a broom since she didn't really fly, but she had an old Nimbus two thousand.

The twins didn't even wait for me. They just opened the patio door and ran out. William didn't even wait until he was off the patio. He climbed onto his broom instantly and took off. I decided I wouldn't mention this to Ashley or Ben. He wasn't supposed to but I really didn't see the harm in it. What difference did it really make if he started from the grass or the deck? Cameron was a rule follower, so he waited until he was off the deck. I knew I had to set a good example for all three of the kids. So once I knew that I had Hailey on the broom securely, I kicked off.

"I wish we could fly way up high," William told me.

"Not without Ben and especially not with your sister," I answered him.

"Why? Everyone babies Hailey," William said. "She'll be fine."

"She's two," I reminded him.

"So?" William retorted. "No one ever treats Elliot that way or even Elaina. What makes Hailey so special?"

"You'll understand when you're older," I told him.

It was something I always hated when adults said it to me but at that moment I finally understood. There were just some things that you couldn't tell kids. People really didn't do it to me so much anymore, but for years they would say it to me. I remembered how irritating it always was for me to be told that. It was basically a way to tell someone to drop it and shut up because they couldn't explain it. I wasn't about to tell a five year old that his sister had almost died. Alyssa didn't even know that. She knew something had been wrong when Ashley was pregnant and that she had been born too early, but that was it.

I saw William shoot me the same irritated glance that I used to give people. It was almost comical for me. I didn't say another word, I just let Hailey kind of control the broom. She understood how to turn now. I'd slowly been teaching her how to control it as long as she kept both hands on the broom. I didn't see the harm in teaching her early. I knew Ben wanted to be the one to show all the kids real flying, but this was harmless enough.

"I can race you," William said to Cameron now. "We'll fly around the jungle gym and back to the house!"

I flew around slowly while I watched them. Even though they had wanted to play with me, they were still just doing their own thing. I listened to Hailey babble on while we flew around slowly. Normally William was able to beat Cameron at races but I watched shocked as Cameron suddenly spurted forward. William looked just as shocked and for a moment he hesitated before he tried to catch up to his brother. For once though, Cameron actually won.

"Ha ha I beat you!" Cameron said as he jumped off his broomstick triumphantly.

"Only because you cheated!" William said. "Cheater! Cheater! Cameron is a Cheater!"

"No I didn't you were just slow," Cameron retorted. "You're just a sore loser!"

"Oh yeah?" William asked angrily.

I watched as Cameron's broom suddenly flew forward and smack him upside the head. William stood with his arms folded and glared angrily at his brother.

"William!" I shouted.

It wasn't the first time he had done it, and I knew it likely wouldn't be the last time. We'd all told him since he was two years old to never use his magic to harm others. He'd done it at school too. He'd actually been suspended once for it. I knew this was something I couldn't keep secret from Ashley and Ben. Normally I tried not to tell them too much about their wrong-doings. I felt that if I told them off, it was enough but this wasn't something I could keep secret.

"It was Cameron's fault," William said.

"Go inside right now," I told him as I halted the broom.

"You're not going to tell mummy and daddy are you?" He asked his anger faltering and now he looked anxious.

"That's exactly what I am going to do," I told him as I lifted Hailey off the broom and set her on her feet. I hurried over to Cameron who was sitting on the ground crying now.

I was always shocked when they hurt each other that way. I'd always believed that twins were supposed to be protective of each other. At times they were with each other, but lately I noticed that they were fighting a lot. Ben told me it was normal for brothers to fight that way. It used to be the twins who would gang up on Alyssa but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Lately they seemed annoyed with each other.

I checked over Cameron and saw that a bump was already forming on his head.

"Come on," I told him. "Let's go inside. I'm sure Ben can fix that for you."

"You're mean if you tell mummy and daddy," William said to me but I ignored him as I helped Cameron up.

I took a hold of Hailey's hand while I held onto Cameron's and led them inside. William didn't follow but he shouted after me about how mean I was and that he hated me.

"I'm glad you're going to school! I don't like you anymore!" He shouted.

Once I was inside, I found Ashley and Ben talking in the kitchen. They looked over instantly as soon as they heard Cameron crying. I explained quickly what had happened.

"Come here honey," Ashley said she held out her arms to Cameron.

He rushed over and she lifted him up. He nestled his head in her neck and really let go. Ben quickly headed outside to go and get William. I took Hailey into the living room quickly. I figured we could watch one of her kid shows while they dealt with the twins. Ashley and Ben didn't spank often, but I had a feeling that's exactly what Ben was about to do. I didn't want to see it, and Hailey didn't need to see it either. I didn't like to see the kids punished.

"Let's watch Dora the Explorer until it's time for you leave," I told Hailey as I turned on the telly.

"Yeah!" Hailey said excitedly as she clapped her hands.

I looked up at the clock. My birthday party couldn't start soon enough.

My birthday party started around noon. I'd told people that they didn't have to bring presents and that it was just a fun day, but some people had. So Ashley and Ben had us open the presents before we went swimming. Most of the stuff people bought me were things I would need for school. Someone had even bought me some parchment. I didn't really care. For me, presents weren't a big deal anymore. When I was younger, I'd always looked forward to them but now I wasn't sure what I really needed. I was glad that people had mainly brought practical things.

I was looking forward to just hanging out with my school friends the most. A few of them had come over during the summer, but for the most part I hadn't seen most of them since the last day.

"Hoofer, you need to invite us over more often," a boy named Craig told me.

He was more of an acquaintance to me than anything. We got along but we only talked if our mutual friends talked to each other.

"I really didn't invite anyone here except Minnie," I told him. "I had to baby-sit all summer."

"Of course you invited Minnie," Marco a friend of mine said as he swam over. "I hope I'll be invited to your wedding."

I made a face at that. I'd never once thought of Minnie that way. I knew our parents had their ideas but she was just my friend. Whenever I insisted that to Ben and Ashley they would smile at each.

"Ben here used to say the same about me," Ashley had told me.

Perhaps it had been true for them, but I just truly did not see it. I'd always considered her as one of my Hoofer cousins and my best friend. I was noticing pretty girls lately, and I even knew that Minnie was very pretty. I just could not see myself ever being with her. I didn't think it was because of my age either. I liked another girl in our class anyway. No one knew, not even Minnie. So it wasn't true when I'd told Ashley that I never kept secrets from her. It was a secret I didn't want anyone to know.

"You won't be because there isn't going to be a wedding," I said. "I don't see Minnie like that. She's been my best friend since we were babies."

"I'll be your best man mate," Craig told me.

"Are you kidding me?" Another bloke by the name of Colin said as he joined us now. "I'm going to be the best man."

"None of you will be my best man because I am not going to marry her," I said.

"Look at how much he is in denial," Colin said. "You know what they say about those who protest too much."

I just rolled my eyes. I looked over to where Minnie was with a group of girls. My eyes fell on a pretty blond girl named Cynthia. She had beautiful big green eyes and she was already getting breasts. She was going to be twelve like me. I thought she was probably one of the prettiest girls I'd ever seen. My heart always beat fast whenever we were around each other. She always called me 'Denny' instead of Hayden and I loved it. At the moment she was wearing a pink bikini and I tried hard not to think about how good she looked in it. Was it normal to have these thoughts?

"You can think what you want to think," I finally said as I tore my eyes away from Cynthia. "She is one of my cousins you know."

"Technically she isn't a cousin though," Craig insisted. "Not by blood."

"Leave the bloke alone," another classmate, Andrew said as he joined us.

I actually considered Andrew to be one of my closest male friends even if I hadn't seen him since the end of the school year. He was muggleborn as well. I'd actually tried to invite him over a few times, but how mother wanted to spend all summer with him. She was a stay at home mum and she wasn't happy about her oldest child going away. He had four other siblings like me, but only one other was magical. The rest were muggles.

"What about you and Grace?" Andrew added to Craig. "Everyone knows you are in love with her."

"I am not!" Craig said quickly.

This quickly turned into a razzing because everyone there knew he had a thing for Grace. I was relieved to have the pressure taken off of me. I always looked forward to being able to make fun of one of the guys about girls. They bothered me so much about Minnie and so when the opportunity came up, I took it.

Most of the day was spent hanging out joking around with each other. The main discussion of course was about where we would be sorted when we went to Hogwarts. Everyone had their theories about who would go where and some had their preferences. People like Craig said that he was leaving it up to chance.

"Even if I am Slytherin I don't care," he said.

"Why do people always say that?" Minnie asked. "Slytherin is not a bad house. I don't get why people say they'll be happy even if they are there. The house is nothing like what it was when our parents went. It changed a lot after the war."

"So what if you are sorted there Minnie?" A girl named Cassidy asked. "You're so sure you will be in Ravenclaw but what if you're not."

"Yeah. Will mummy and daddy be disappointed that their little girl isn't Ravenclaw?" A boy named Matty asked. "We all know Hoofers are as likely to be in Ravenclaw just as Weasley's will be in Gryffindor!"

"My parents will be happy no matter where I am and so will I," Minnie said. "And not all Weasley's go into Gryffindor. Dominique and Molly ended up in Ravenclaw you know. Not all Hoofers go to Ravenclaw either. Uncle Ben ended up in Hufflepuff."

"What if we can't get sorted at all?" A girl named Judy asked. "What if we don't fit in anywhere and the hat tells us to go home?"

"That has never happened," Cassidy said. "You belong somewhere."

"Well we all have to stay friends anyway," Minnie spoke up and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "We can't decide that we can only hang out with the people in our houses. We get along now and there is no reason why we shouldn't after our sorting."

"I agree," Cynthia spoke up. "That has happened with the older years. We shouldn't do that. If we can get along now and in primary school there is no reason why we can't at Hogwarts."

"Cynthia is right," I said quickly as I smiled.

"Cynthia is right?" Minnie asked me. "You thought I was silly when I brought it up to you a week ago."

"Well I still think it's silly to worry," I told her. "I just mean she's right that we are all getting along now and so our sorting shouldn't change that."

Minnie just stared at me for a moment and I almost worried that she would guess. No one else seemed to notice anything different, but from the look she was giving me, I worried that she knew. I wasn't so sure why I didn't want her to know. I knew she wouldn't make fun of me. Perhaps it was just because I liked having something to myself, or because I didn't want her to make a fuss out of it. I'd never felt this way about a girl before and it was a new feeling to me.

"What about you Denny?" Cynthia asked and I felt my heart began to beat fast again. "What house do you think you will end up in?"

"Probably Hufflepuff," I told her. "It's where Ashley and Ben ended up in. I think I'll be like them."

"Definitely won't be Ravenclaw," Colin joked. "So I guess you two won't be able to see each other every second of the day anymore. Someone else might steal your bride."

"Unless they're Slytherin together," Cassidy said.

"Denny can't be in Slytherin, he's muggleborn," Cynthia spoke up.

"Well so was You-Know-Who and he was Slytherin," Cassidy retorted.

"No he wasn't," Minnie said. "He was a half-blood."

"I thought his father was a muggle," Cassidy said.

"And his mother was a pure-blood," Cynthia told her.

Andrew swam away and beckoned for me to follow. I was relieved to leave the conversation behind. A lot of my other guests were swimming around. Some girls were actually trying to get some last minute tans. I glanced over at the patio table to see that Ben, Ashley, Michael, Ellen and Keith were all sitting there now. I didn't understand it, but they always had to get together when they had parties for us kids. They weren't really paying attention to us. They seemed to be enjoying themselves and I had to wonder about Shelly being left alone with three toddlers and newborn.

"So Cynthia?" Andrew asked and I turned my attention back to him.

We were no where near anyone anymore. No one was really paying attention to us. Our group was still leaning against the side of the pool and talking. No one seemed to care that we had left, not even Minnie. She was still talking to Cassidy and Cynthia.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said quickly.

"You want her," Andrew said. "I've been wondering for a while if you liked her, but Minnie kind of confirmed it."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Did Minnie know after all? Had she told Andrew secretly?

"You agreed with Cynthia but not Minnie," Andrew said. "That never happens. Usually you and Minnie agree of everything."

"No we don't," I said. "Do you know how many times we've argued-"

"That's not the point," Andrew interrupted. "Actually maybe it is. Why would you change your mind for Cynthia? What's the big deal if you like her? Maybe she likes you too. I like Cassidy. Craig likes Grace."

"I don't want people knowing," I said.

"So don't tell anyone if you don't want to, but I don't see why you're lying to me about it," Andrew answered. "My guess is that you haven't told Minnie either. Why hide it from your best friends? It's not a bad thing."

"Fine, I do like her but I don't want you to tell anyone, not even Minnie," I told him. "Happy now?"

"Yes I am actually. You know you can trust me Hayden," Andrew said. "I've been your friend since primary one. I won't tell people if you don't want me to. I am the only one besides Minnie who knows the truth about you mum and I've always kept that secret and I always will. Why don't you want Minnie to know?"

"I just don't," I said. "If she guesses like you it's fine, but I don't want to tell her."

"You know if people knew they would stop bugging you about her," Andrew told me.

You'll be able to talk to her more that way."

The thought of dating still seemed odd to me. I didn't know what to say to that. So I just gave him a small shrug and a nod. I glanced back at the adults again. They were still talking to each other and ignoring us. I kind of wondered if they were reminiscing about old times. They usually did. Ellen had a boyfriend when she was my age. Would it be so strange for me to have a girlfriend? I knew she'd been in her second year when it happened. I wondered what they would all say about me dating.

"I hope we'll at least be in the same house," Andrew continued and I looked at him again. "I don't want to share a dorm with Craig or Albus or even Scott."

"Albus will be Ravenclaw for sure," I told him. "He's a pretentious prat."

Albus Nickleson, a boy named after the late Headmaster was of the most arrogant smart mouth prats I'd ever met. He competed to be top of the year every year, and he gloated about how smart he was. He was also a major bully. If a kid struggled in school, he made sure to make them feel like an idiot. He used to bully Andrew all the time until Minnie slapped him across the face. For some reason, he would never dare say anything bad about Minnie (I believed he was scared of her) and after that he'd left Andrew alone.

Andrew laughed at that. "I thought we weren't going to judge people by their houses."

"Not all Ravenclaws are like that but you some are," I said. "Ashley told me a fair amount about her school mates. Not everyone fits the stereotypes but some are spot on with them."

"Hayden!"

I looked up to see that Ashley was now standing at the edge of the pool.

"Are you ready for cake?"

"I love this movie," Alyssa told me.

"I know you do," I said to her. "I think I know all the words and songs as well as you do."

Just as the twins were into popular muggle movies and telly shows, Alyssa was as well. We were watching Frozen, a movie that most little girls loved. I'd seen it so many times because of her that I had it memorized. I'd known there was a chance we would end up watching it though. I'd taken that chance by promising to have a sleep over with her.

Ashley and Ben had been good about this anyway. I'd been worried that the twins would try and crash our party so they let Cameron stay over at Jaime's for the night. William was being punished for hitting Cameron, so he'd gone to bed early. Thankfully Hailey always had an early bedtime, so I didn't have to worry about her either. Usually when she spent time with Elliot and Elaina she was so tired that she went to bed even earlier anyway.

The adults were all outside on the patio. They had more of their friends over by that point. I knew they were having their own little pool party. It seemed Ashley and Ben always looked for an opportunity to have a party. After all my guests had gone home, they had invited some of their friends over. For a while Minnie hung out until Alyssa came home. After that, she demanded that we start our slumber party.

I didn't actually mind the distraction and Alyssa certainly could bring one. I couldn't take my mind off of Cynthia and I hated it. All summer I'd barely thought about her, but now she was back on my mind again. Thankfully with Alyssa, I couldn't let myself drift off too much. She demanded my attention as much as possible when it was just her and me. Even with watching a movie like Frozen, one I had seen a million times, she kept up a commentary. I wasn't allowed to stop watching. I just hoped I wouldn't have "Let it go." stuck in my head for days.

Alyssa ended up falling asleep towards the end of the movie. She'd brought her sleeping bag downstairs just for the occasion. Once it was finished, I quietly shut the telly off and tip-toed around her. I was supposed to fall asleep downstairs with her too, but it was only nine-thirty. Usually Ashley and Ben let me stay up until twelve that summer. They'd reasoned that I would be staying up late at Hogwarts anyway. So it was still too early for me.

They were all outside still on the patio, so I decided to go outside. I knew they were most likely drinking. When I went out it was to see most of their friends, Barry and Tasha, Brianne and Nick and Brenda and Milton all sitting around and laughing. Some people were swimming in the pool while others were sitting at the table.

"Hayden!" Ellen said excitedly. "We were just talking about you. Come sit down with us. Have a butterbeer."

"He's not even in the first year yet Ellen," Brenda said with disapproval.

"It's butterbeer Brenda," Ellen said. "Butterbeer is fine for kids. We were drinking it at his age. It's not as if I am offering him firewhiskey. Michael is the only one who offers first years firewhiskey."

"One time," Michael spoke up. "I offered them firewhiskey once and I never did it again."

Brenda was uptight about a lot of things, so I wasn't really surprised that she making a big deal now. According to Ashley and Ben, she used to be a lot worse than she used to be. At any rate, I'd been drinking it since I was about nine of so. Apparently it had some affect on small children, but not for older ones. I'd never felt anything when I'd had it. I ignored Brenda and took a seat between Ellen and Ashley who grabbed a butterbeer from a cooler, opened it and placed it on the table in front of me.

"I take it Alyssa is asleep now?" She asked me.

"She fell asleep at the end of Frozen," I told her.

"That movie will be the death of me," Ben said. "I wish somehow I could just 'lose it' and she would forget about it."

"Why don't you just go buy a muggle lottery ticket?" Ellen asked him. "You'd win that before the girls forget about Frozen."

"That's what you get for introducing them to muggle stuff," Brenda said. "I've never understood why you lot keep muggle technology in your life, or why you want your kids exposed to it. I heard that muggle teenagers these days don't do anything but play on their mobile phones."

"Well I don't think we'll ever have to worry about that," Ben said. "We just have a telly and a computer. We don't own any other muggle device. I couldn't tell you what an Ipad is but my kids will never have one because they won't need one."

"There are trends in the wizarding world too you know," Michael told Brenda. "Isn't Richard into that book series? What is it called again?"

"It's not as bad as Frozen," Brenda said.

"It's about a wizard who wears leotards and has mind controlling powers," Keith said laughing. "I hope to god that Elliot never gets into that. You're not into that are you Hayden?"

"No," I said. "I'm not six years old either though."

"You should be," a friend of theirs named Denver said. "I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you're going to Hogwarts on Monday."

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Minnie is going on Monday," Barry said. "This is a day we've talked about for years, but I never thought it would be here to quick."

"I don't want to talk about that," Tasha said. "Remember, no depressing talk!"

"It's only depressing if you want it to be," a man I believed was named Edward said but I wasn't so sure. I only really knew him by sight. "For the kids it's exciting."

"You must be excited aren't you?" A woman named Tara asked me. "You'll finally do magic. I know I was excited before I went. At least you already know your classmates. We really didn't know anyone when we started. I met Ben and Ellen on the train."

"I met Ashley, Shelly and Sheila on the train," Michael spoke up and then he laughed. "Who would have thought we would have ended up together," he said to Shelly with a smile. "You two used to guess everything back then. Did you guess we'd end up together Shelly?"

"No we definitely didn't expect to end up with you or Denver," Sheila said. "We were never good about guessing who we'd end up with. We were just good at guessing other couples," and then she looked at me. "Can you believe Ashley was so shy that she did not say a word to us on the train."

"I spoke once," Ashley said with a smile. "I told you my name. You are lucky though. You'll at least get to sit with who you want and you'll know most of your classmates."

"He already knows all of them doesn't he?" Tara asked. "I thought they tried to make sure all the kids knew each other."

"Not everyone went to the primary school though. It wasn't mandatory for all students to go," Ashley told her. "Some parents still chose to teach their kids at home until Hogwarts. Some muggleborn parents didn't want their kids to go to the primary school."

"I still find that strange," Michael said. "They're okay with their kids going away to a magical boarding school but not a magical primary school?"

"I think it's for them to know for sure the kids learn the basics in life," Ashley said with a shrug. "In all honestly, it would make more sense for muggleborns than any others but it's up to the parents."

This was actually news to me. I had believed that I would know everyone in my year. I didn't realize that people wouldn't want their kids to go, or that it wasn't mandatory. It would be interesting to meet new people however.

"I'm excited," I told Tara. "I can't wait until I can do magic with a wand. I've been waiting for as long as I've known about Hogwarts. I'm excited to live at the castle too. I've heard so many stories about how fun Hogwarts is."

"Because you didn't use your wand to do magic at all?" Ben asked me and I looked at him with surprise but he looked amused.

"Or you didn't use our wands at all?" Ashley added.

"You knew?" I asked.

"We do now," Ben said but he winked at me. "Of course we knew."

"Minnie did the same thing," Barry said. "She would always sneak our wands to practice."

"So if you knew why did you tell me not to do it?" I asked them. "You always said that wands weren't toys and I couldn't play with them. You punished me when I was five when I played with it," I added as I remembered when Ashley had made me sit in timeout for it.

"You're not five years old anymore," Ashley said as if this answered my question but it didn't.

"We knew you were curious about the spells you would do in first year," Ben told me. "We know they taught you some of what you'd learn in your first year in primary seven. There's a difference between a five year old playing with a wand and an eleven year old practising their spells. I trust you with my wand, but I don't trust William or Cameron."

"You're more trusting than I would be," Brenda said. "I would never let Richard touch my wand, not even when he is fifteen or sixteen."

"Why?" Tara asked. "What do you think he's going to do? I don't let Emma or Hunter touch mine either, but when they are Hayden's age I won't care. It's perfectly normal for kids to be curious."

"Are you all forgetting that they aren't supposed to do magic outside of Hogwarts?" Brenda asked. "That is why they shouldn't be doing it?"

"Oh it's not that big of a deal before they start," Barry said. "That rule is mainly in place so that muggleborns don't do magic outside of school. I'm sure they have other reasons, but that is the main one. They just apply it to everyone so that muggleborns aren't singled out. If Minnie does spells under my supervision, it's not something she should be punished for. Besides, not everyone sends their kids to Hogwarts either. How do you think they learn magic?"

"I'm just giving my opinion on the matter," Brenda said sounding annoyed.

"And we're giving you ours," Brianne retorted.

Out of all the adult Hoofers, I liked Brenda the least. She usually did suck the fun out of any party. I was even feeling annoyed with her as surely every adult at the table was. Already she'd made her opinion made about me drinking butterbeer and now she was complaining about me using a wand. If Ashley and Ben didn't care, she shouldn't either. It was really none of her business.

"So why did you tell that I couldn't use my wand?" I asked trying to stay on topic. "You said I couldn't use it until I got to Hogwarts."

"Did we?" Ashley asked looking at me and then at Ben. "I don't recall saying anything to you about your wand."

Ben shook his as well as if confused. They'd told me years ago that I wouldn't be to do magic until I got to Hogwarts once I had a wand. So I pointed this out to them and they looked at each other and then at me.

"Well that explains why you were trying to hide it from us," Ashley said. "We should have told you that you had permission."

"She's right," Ben said. "I do have to admit that it was amusing seeing you trying to hide it though."

Perhaps I should have been angry about that, but I wasn't. They asked me more questions about Hogwarts, but I noticed after a while it turned into them reminiscing about their days in Hogwarts. Ten years ago they were getting ready to start their seventh year. I listened as a woman named Delilah asked if they would have a reunion with their class.

"No," Ashley said. "At least if there is one, I won't be going. Not after what happened at my housewarming party. I only want to keep in touch with people who aren't going to betray me or talk behind my back."

"Reunions are usually just to catch up with each other and to see what everyone has been doing since school ended anyway," Ben said. "We know what people have been up to, and where some people are."

"I still can't believe the two of you talk to Zent and Opress," a man I didn't know the name of spoke up.

"We are acquaintances," Ashley said. "We don't really hang out though. We haven't even seen them in over a year. I owe Don Zent my life, and we are friendly with Maisie. Sometimes she will write on on the parchment."

I wondered what she meant by that. Why would she owe someone her life? Was she talking about that Halloween night when she'd almost lost Hailey? They never really went into detail with me about that night. All I knew was that some people had attacked a party in Godric's Hallow and it had turned into a battle. It was one of those things that I'd been told I would know more when I was older. I hoped that day would come sooner. I knew that we'd be learning more about the Battle of Hogwarts at Hogwarts, so if I was old enough to hear about You-Know-Who, then I was old enough to hear what happened with them.

I didn't question it that night however. I knew they were just trying to have a good time, and talking about that night would put Ashley and Ben into a mood. It was something I thought that we should sit down and talk about more someday. I'd almost lost my little sister after all, I had the right to know.

Once the adults got more into the alcohol, I decided to go back inside. They seemed to forget about me after a while. I went back into the living-room where Alyssa was still fast asleep in her sleeping bag. I didn't want to sleep on the floor in mine, so I just climbed on the couch and used it as a blanket. Surprisingly it didn't take long for me to fall asleep that night. I didn't think I'd be as lucky the next night though.


	4. Chapter 4

"I want to stay for Hayden's party," William informed me as he climbed onto his chair. "I don't want to play with Trevor today."

"Hayden wants to have a party with his classmates," I told William. "You'll probably get to swim in the pool with him tomorrow."

"It's not fair," William pouted.

I wondered why kids always had to use that line. I knew I had when I was a child too, but why was that always one of the first things they thought to say? I didn't answer him. I just lifted Hailey up and carried her over to her booster seat.

"Where Alyssa?" Hailey asked me after I made sure she was seated properly.

"Still upstairs," I told her. "She'll be downstairs soon, she is probably just changing."

"So did Jaime say she would take Cameron over night?" Ben asked me as he walked into the dining room. "When is she expecting him?"

"She said he can stay the night if he wants to," I informed him. "She said that we'll see how the day goes. She'll write to us later in the day or we can. I'll just go upstairs and get everyone else," I turned to William. "Is Cameron still in his room?"

"He was in the bathroom when I came downstairs," he answered. "Mummy I am hungry."

"You know we have to wait until everyone is seated," I told him.

I turned to leaving the dining room. Just as I left, Cameron scurried past me, so I was glad that was one less kid to worry about getting ready. I hurried upstairs figuring I would get Hayden first. He always got ready faster than the rest of the children, and usually Alyssa took longer than the twins combined. I could imagine her still brushing her hair at her vanity table, and pretending to be putting make up on. She always liked to imitate Ellen or me.

However, as I got upstairs, I found Alyssa standing in Hayden's doorway in her nightgown. I walked over to tell her to get dressed. She smiled up at me as soon as she noticed that I was there.

"Guess what mummy?" She said excitedly. "Hayden said that he and I can have a slumber party all by ourselves tonight! He said it will just me and him and no one else!"

"That sounds exciting," I told her feeling amused. Alyssa would most likely make him watch all of her girly movies, including Frozen. It was a movie that she always made Ben or Jared sit down and watch with her. "Now why don't you get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast. Hailey is asking about you."

I knew I'd said the magical words. All the kids tended to to be at her beck and call. Alyssa didn't need to be told twice, she turned and hurried down the hallway to her room. I entered Hayden's room. He was still in pajamas but I could see he had his clothes set out for the day. I imagined Alyssa must have interrupted him before he'd been able to get ready.

I took a look around his room. For a boy his age, it was usually clean but it was also extremely plain. The walls were plain white. He had book shelves and a toy box which he likely hadn't opened for a year or two. He didn't really show his personality in his room. We'd told him that he could decorate the room however he wanted, but he'd never taken the opportunity to do so. I wondered if he'd let us decorate the room with the colours of whatever house was sorted in.

You know, if you want we can decorate this room to represent whichever house you're sorted in. We can have it done by the time you get home for Christmas," I told him.

Hayden gave me a small shrug. "Sure if you want to."

He was very unreadable so I didn't know if he meant it or if he just wanted me to get off his case about it. It wasn't the first time I had suggested it and it wouldn't be the last.

"Only if you want us to," I told him quickly. "It is your room, and if you like it like this, it's fine. I've just always wanted you to add some kind of personality to it. It is yours to do what you want with."

I often reminded him of this. I wanted him to know that he would always have a home with us. I didn't want him to feel as if he was only a guest. This was his home until he wanted to move out. Hayden still stared at me without expression.

"I would like that," he answered. "I've just never really thought about how I want to decorate it. I'm not into Puddlemere United or the Appleby Arrows and I don't really need any childish themes on my wall either. There has never been anything I've wanted to represent in my room before. If you and Ben want to decorate my room then go ahead."

"My mum and sister did that for me," I told him. I almost mentioned that Rachel had helped as well, but I stopped myself. I didn't want to talk about her. I was still angry with her about her attitude towards her son. I didn't accept what Ben had told me from their meeting and I never would. I didn't want her to ever break my little boys heart again.

"You know what?" He said to me quickly. "Maybe that is something we can do together when I come home. I can add my own paintings and you and Ben can do what you want too."

I grinned at that. It was something I'd always wanted to do with him. Well, it wasn't just him but with the others as well. However, I wanted to decorate his room with him so he'd feel at home. I felt touched that he would want to do it with me as well. Perhaps he would finally see me as his true mother, and he'd forget the woman who had abandoned him.

"Well I suppose we can do that before we take off to the Florida. I've been looking forward to helping my kids decorate their rooms with their Hogwarts houses. I don't know if Alyssa will want to do that because she is such a girly girl. She will never be a tomboy like I was," I said to him.

"Well Minnie's room is girly and Ravenclaw," Hayden told me.

I'd always wondered why Tasha and Barry had done that. I knew it was a pretty good chance that Minnie would be a Ravenclaw but what if she wasn't? Not only that, but I just didn't think it was fair for a parent to put that kind of expectation on their kid. I loved Ben's parents, but they had done that to their kids. I believed it was Ben had been so uptight about homework. He'd been sorted into Hufflepuff, and because of that he'd felt inadequate for a while. He'd loved Hufflepuff house, and later on he'd told us that he was glad to be sorted there. However, I knew it had made him insecure as well. I didn't want any of my kids to feel that way. I didn't care which house they ended up in. I loved Hufflepuff but I would never make them feel that she should be there.

I didn't really think Minnie would feel insecure about that. She'd told us more than once that she didn't care what house she'd be in. So in a way, it would be funny if she ended up in another house. Barry and Tasha would be shocked.

"I'm sure it will be a good chance that she will be there, but it will be funny if she's put in another house. We told Barry and Tasha that they should hold off on that, but they did it anyway. They did that with Trevor as well, and I'm sure they'll do it with the new-" I stopped myself.

Just the previous day, Barry had told us that Tasha had found out that she was pregnant again. It was something they wanted to keep secret until tomorrow. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'd never been one to accidentally reveal secrets like that, especially to the kids. Hayden stared back at me but now he looked amused. I knew he could tell what I was about to say to him.

"The new what?" He asked with a smile. "Is Tasha pregnant?"

"Yes, but they haven't told Minnie yet. They're waiting until tomorrow morning to tell her and then they're going to tell everyone else tomorrow at the party," I told him. "Please don't say anything to Minnie. Tasha and Barry want to be the ones to tell her. I shouldn't have let it slip like that."

"I won't tell her but I've never kept a secret from Minnie before," he answered but he looked happy.

"I know you haven't," I said. "It's my own fault. Tasha only just found out recently and Barry told us last night. I'm usually better at keep secrets than this."

"I won't say anything," he assured me. "I know they've wanted another. Minnie told me that Tasha wanted at least one more kid. So do Brianne and Brenda," and then I smiled. "Hey maybe they'll get all get pregnant together again. All of you seem to get pregnant at the same time."

"Maybe," I said. It actually wouldn't have surprised me. For some reason that did seem to happen to us a lot. It almost seemed expected now that if one woman ended up pregnant, another friend or family member would be as well. "Well Hayden, I'll let you get ready. The kids will be leaving soon enough, but I think Hailey wants to see you before she leaves."

Hayden's eyes lit up when I said that. I hoped that would always work with the children. I left the room and headed back downstairs and to the kitchen. I worked quickly to heat up breakfast. Most of it was already done. I usually started early and then put a warming charm on it. I then levitated the trays and took them to the dining room where everyone was now seated.

The boys were bothering Hayden about the slumber party, they wanted to have one with him too. I served everyone breakfast. The kids were quiet while they ate, but as soon as they finished, they began bothering Hayden again. Somehow the conversation turned into Quidditch as well. I didn't know much about Quidditch but I supported the Holyhead Harpers and so did Alyssa. However, she seemed to know more about Quidditch teams than I did. Ben had been getting her to listen to games with him for years though.

Alyssa left right to go to Ellen's while Hayden took the other three kids out to fly. Ben and I took that time to clean up from breakfast. We also had to work on getting food ready for Hayden's birthday party. We were planning on having some people over later that night as well. For the past couple of years we invited people over for the last weekend of August. This year it would be a busy weekend. We also had a family party the next day, and then Monday Hayden would be going to Hogwarts.

"Has everyone who we invited gotten back to us about tonight?" Ben asked me as we put dishes away.

"Most people have. The Hogwarts girls are coming too," I told him.

"Won't it be a bit off if Darcy finds someone in Hayden's year?" He asked me. "How much longer are we going to keep inviting the teenagers here?"

"I don't know," I said. "Darcy really hasn't been able to find a new sister, but maybe it might be best to put that to rest anyway. I mean, if she wants to help someone it's fine but it probably would be odd for when we're in our thirties and we are inviting an eleven old over. I honestly think she will be the last one anyway. It was fun while it lasted though. I don't want invade Hayden's turf."

"Brenda decided she and Milton would come after all," Ben said. "They're dropping Richard off at mum's for the night."

"So are Brianne and Nick," I said. "I think Barry is just letting Minnie watch Trevor tonight."

Ben grinned. "It's so nice once they get old enough to watch over the younger ones. I think mum was relieved when Barry was Hayden's age. She used to leave us with him all the time so that they could go off somewhere or so they could have their parties."

"Mum did the same thing when Jaime and I were old enough," I said. "Although we can't rely on Hayden for much longer. He'll be gone in a couple of days. We'll have to start pawning them off on our parents and friends again."

Hayden entered the kitchen moments later with Hailey and a crying Cameron. Both Ben and I looked over at him for an explanation.

"William got angry because Cameron beat him at a race, so he used magic to hit him with a broom," Hayden explained.

I sighed and glanced at Ben. William knew better than to use his powers to hurt people, but he still did it when he was very angry. I wasn't sure what to do about it anymore. We punished him every time for it, but it still happened. Although I absolutely hated to spank the kids, we sometimes had to and Ben had started doing spanking William when he did it. It didn't seem to help too much, so I figured there had to be another alternative to it. Time outs and grounding didn't work but it seemed spanking him didn't do anything either.

"Come here honey," I said to Cameron who was sobbing hard.

He hurried over to me and I picked up. Instantly he nuzzled his face into my neck. It was something he had been doing since he was a baby. I walked over to one of the kitchen chairs and sat down with him on my lap. I examined his head to see that a small bump was already forming. William must have hit him really hard. I didn't know too many healing spells, but I knew enough. With small children, you had to at least know the basics. So I pointed my wand at his head and muttered the incantation. With a loud pop the bump disappeared. I gave a kiss on the forehead afterwards.

"All better now," I told him. "Now cheer up, you're going to see Graysen soon."

"No daddy, I am sorry, please don't," William was pleading.

I looked up to see Ben carrying him into the house. He was already crying but Ben wasn't ignoring him. He walked past us and out of the kitchen. I could hear William's pleading as they went on.

"William is mean to me," Cameron said. "It's the first time I won and he hurt me."

"You know how competitive your brother is," I said to him. "Now lets clean up that face. I'm sure he'll apologize to you later."

I stood up and set him on the floor. I then conjured up a cloth to wipe off his face and then I hugged him again. I glanced up at the clock and figured I could take him over to mums soon enough. I still apparated directly into my old bedroom to this day. I'd told Jaime the night before that I would take him to mums, and either mum or Terry could take him over to her place or she and Graysen could pick him up.

"Are you almost ready to go?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Yes. Graysen is never mean to me."

"Okay, just let me get your overnight bag and then we'll go," I told him.

With a wave of my wand, I summoned a bag we'd packed the night before. It took a few minutes before it floated into the living-room. Cameron held out a hand to take it while it was still in the air. I lifted him again and then turned on the spot. We appeared moments later in my old room which still looked basically the same.

I was however surprised to see that mum was actually in the room.

"Well you two just scared me," she said but she was smiling.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't expect you to be in here."

"Well Brianne asked me if I could watch Charles and Mackenzie tonight," she explained. "I'm just setting the rooms up for them."

"Really?" I asked with surprise. "I thought she was just dropping them off at Ben's parents place."

"Mackenzie has been asking to come here for a sleep-over again," mum explained. "So she decided just to let both Charles and Mackenzie stay here. I think Trevor is staying with the Hoofers though. Brianne said it's better this way so her parents don't have all the children over. What are you doing with Alyssa, Hayden and William?"

"They're just staying home," I said. "Hayden and Alyssa are having a slumber party, and William will be going to bed early. He hit Cameron with a broomstick. We were going to let him stay over at Ben's parents too, but not anymore. Brenda is dropping Richard off there as well. You're gong tomorrow aren't you?"

"Of course," mum said. "We want to say good-bye to Hayden before he leaves. It's so strange that he is old enough to go to Hogwarts now."

Cameron seemed to grow impatient in my arms.

"Where is Graysen?" He suddenly demanded and began moving around. I quickly set him down.

"Jaime and Graysen aren't here yet," mum told him. "Why don't you go downstairs and find Terry? He has some new toys here for all of you."

Cameron didn't need to be told twice. He dropped his overnight bag on the floor and ran out the door.

"So what about William?" Mum asked me. "He's been doing that a lot lately hasn't he?"

"Yes, and we aren't really sure why," I said. "He understood before that he wasn't supposed to use his magic."

"Do you think he is angry about something?" Mum asked. "William has never really been a violent child. Hasn't this only been happening the last six months or so?"

I nodded. "He did it when he was toddler but we taught him that it was wrong, so he stopped doing it. Lately he's been complaining about all the attention that Hailey gets. So maybe that could be it."

"That could very well be," mum told me. "Cameron has his own problems and you two tend to focus on that. It's understandable why you two focus on Hailey and of course Hayden has his issues, especially now with Rachel contacting him. Alyssa and William tend to get left out a lot. Alyssa has never really complained about it, but I think it does affect William a lot. Not only does he get lumped in with his brother because they are twins, but no one gives him as much attention lately. Perhaps you should start focusing on that more. Hailey and Cameron are going to be fine, and Hayden is going to Hogwarts soon enough. Even Alyssa will be okay."

"William and Alyssa are the two that have never had problems," I said. "The other three have."

"And that's probably why William is acting out," mum answered. "He is doing it for the attention, and he knows better than to hurt the others with magic. He knows it will get a rise out of you. You just need to sit down with him and talk to him."

"Well now I feel even worse," I said as I thought about the fact that Ben had spanked him. "I hate spanking him, but that's what we have been doing."

"Well I still think it's necessary," mum said. "You have to talk to him too however. Ask him why he feels this way. Don't feel bad honey, it's different with every child. There is no parenting book out there and what works with Cameron or Alyssa won't work with William. It was the same when it came with you and your sister. What worked for your sister didn't always work for you, and you have five children with different problems."

"I'm not looking forward to when they're all teenagers," I muttered. "Anyway, I'd better get home. Tell Cameron I said good-bye. He didn't wait for that, but I guess that's a good thing. He's better than he used to be. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye dear, and don't be too hard on yourself. You are just learning as you go," mum told me.

I nodded and then thought of Williams room. I turned on the spot and appeared in his room moments later. I found him laying on his bed and sobbing. Ben was no where to be seen. I walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Let's talk about this William," I said to him. "Why do you keep using your magic to hurt people? You know it is wrong."

"Cameron was teasing me," he said. "He said I was a sore loser."

"And were you being a sore loser?" I asked him.

"No," William said.

"Are you telling the truth?" I asked him. "I think someone who hurts someone just because they lost is a sore loser. You know daddy doesn't like to spank you, but when you hurt your brother or sisters or even a classmate we have to. You know it's wrong to hurt somebody and I want to know why you keep doing it."

"Hayden is mean. He is a tattle tale and he never plays with me," William said. "He only ever plays with Hailey or Cameron. Now he is going to school and I didn't even get to play alone with him."

And now it made sense to me. I was sure he wanted attention from Ben and me as well, but it was Hayden he really wanted it from. All the kids looked up to Hayden a lot. I was sure they saw him the way I had once seen Rachel. It was the way that Timmy had looked up to us, and the way Ben had looked up to Barry. Mum was right that he felt left out, but it was Hayden he wanted the attention from. Hayden had Hailey on his broom, he was having a slumber party with Alyssa, and a good amount of the time we'd been in Florida, he had watched over Cameron and Hailey. Now he was going away to school and William hadn't had the chance to be alone with his big brother.

"So you're upset that you haven't had the chance to have some time with Hayden?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Now he's going to Hogwarts. It's all anyone talks about," he said. "I won't get to play with Hayden until he gets home. That won't be for a long time."

"Well maybe if you ask him nicely tomorrow, he'll play with you when we come home," I told him. "Now I want you to stop using your magic to hurt people. Cameron is gone but when he comes home tomorrow, I want you to apologize to him. Tonight when you come you're going to bed early."

"That's not fair!" William said and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes.

"William, it is fair. It wasn't very fair for you to hit your brother with a broom. Now you have to take your punishment," I told him.

"Daddy spanked me," he said. "That was a punishment."

"And now you're going to bed early too," I told him. "Now get up. We have to get you ready to go over to Trevor's."

William sat up and I wiped away his tears. We were going to have to spend more time him, especially after Hayden went to school. I just hoped we weren't going to have another angry child on our hands. He was too young to be pulling this kind of thing. I had hoped the twins would wait until they were at least Hayden's age before they acted out. I guess I couldn't be that lucky.

He crawled over to me and climbed onto my lap.

"I'm sorry mummy," he said.

"Well it's not me you have to apologize to," I said as I hugged him. "But I appreciate it. I want you to promise me that you won't use magic to hurt anyone anymore. If you feel angry, you need to do what we taught you. Count down from ten okay? You need to talk about why you're angry."

The boys usually did get cuddly after a punishment. It wasn't unusual to get kisses and hugs and I wondered if they were hoping to warm us up as well. Ben entered the room while we were hugging. William noticed him and pushed himself out of my arms. He jumped on the floor and walked over to Ben to hug his legs.

"I'm sorry daddy," he said. "I won't use magic to hurt anyone anymore."

"I'm glad to hear it," Ben said as he knelt down to lift him in his arms. "Now are you ready to go over to Trevors for the day?"

William nodded.

"You be a good boy," I told him. "We'll see you tonight. Remember, it's early bedtime."

"I know," William said.

"I'll be back in a few moments," Ben told me and he turned on the spot. He disappeared with a loud pop.

I made way out of his room and downstairs. I peeked in on Hayden and Hailey. They were sitting on the floor together and watching Dora the Explorer. I smiled and continued on. Not too many twelve year old boys could sit and watch those kind of shows with little girls. Most would be too embarrassed about it, but he didn't care what anyone thought. He would proudly admit it in front of his friends. Often Alyssa made him watch Frozen with him, and sometimes he sang some of the songs with her.

I went back into the kitchen to finish preparing for Hayden's guests.

Ellen had dropped the girls off at Brianne's before she came over. They were going to have their hands full with the kids. At first Ben and I had volunteered to take all the kids over but Ellen and Keith told us that they had no problem with it. They knew that Alyssa and Clarissa had wanted to play together first before they went, so they took the girls over before they'd dropped Elliot off at Michaels.

Now Michael, Ellen and Keith were sitting with us on the patio while Hayden and his friends swam in the pool.

"Is Shelly okay with all three kids and a baby?" Ellen asked. "I feel bad whenever she takes them."

"Are you kidding me?" Michael asked. "She loves it, and she knew that I wanted to be here for Hayden's birthday. The kids always busy themselves and we're only next door anyway. You know she'd call us over if she needed us. They aren't a lot of trouble and all Mikayla does is sleep."

"Can you believe the next generation is ready for Hogwarts already?" Ellen asked. "Ten years ago we were just starting our seventh year. I never imagined that we'd be all sitting here and preparing Minnie and Hayden for Hogwarts. We all knew it would happen, but it seemed like it wouldn't be for a long time."

"Or that we would be the adults watching the pool party," Michael added.

We all looked over at the kids. Hayden seemed to have his own little group of his friends. They were all leaning against one side of the pool. It took me back to our days when we did that. Most kids were swimming around, but some were lazing around outside the pool as well. I had to admit, I missed the days when we were the carefree kids and we were awaiting for our next year at Hogwarts. Back then our biggest worries had been about whatever drama was going on in our lives and school work.

"I'm jealous," Ellen said as if she were reading my mind. "I mean, I wouldn't give up the life I have now but I loved it at Hogwarts. I miss our days at school. Sometimes I wish we could go back again. They're lucky to just be starting."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I kept trying to rush our last two years there. Now I wish I was in Hayden's shoes."

We could hear some of their conversations, and most of it seemed to center around what house they would all end up in. Of course they were luckier since they all knew each other before Hogwarts. I just had to wonder how many of these kids would still be talking by this time next year. For some reason the kids still let the Hogwarts houses define them. I didn't understand how they could when they had known each other for the last seven years. They'd all grown up together.

"So has Rachel written anymore letters to Hayden?" Ellen asked.

"No, but he hasn't written back to her either," I answered. "I think he is waiting until he gets to Hogwarts to do it. We don't have an owl or an owl call."

"He could always borrow ours," Ellen answered. "I've never understood why you two don't have one. What if you need to send parcels? Especially now with Hayden going to school?"

"We're considering that," Ben said. "We've never needed one until now. We've always used the parchments. With parcels we just send them with magic or we apparate it over. Anyway, I don't think Rachel will contact Hayden unless he writes her first."

"Is this really a good idea?" Keith asked with a frown. "I haven't forgotten how devastated he was a few years ago. I'm surprised the two of you are letting him do this."

"He would have went behind our backs," I answered. "If we'd forbidden him, it would have just caused him to resent us and to feel that he has to hide things from us. I want us to have an honest relationship with him. I don't like it one bit, but I would hate for him to sneak behind our backs as well. At least this way he knows that we are supporting him."

"I think it's better anyway," Michael said. "I was kind of in his shoes. My parents were horrible but I would have gone to see them if they hadn't been killed. All I wanted was for them to contact me, even after I ran away from home. At least Hayden has the opportunity to still talk to her. I have to wonder if a lot of this disapproval isn't your worry for him, but because all of you are so pissed off at her. Is it just your personal feelings here, or are you really thinking about Hayden?"

"It's both Michael," Ben said. "Of course we are both pissed off at her. Neither of us can understand how she can give on her child the way she had. We're also thinking of Hayden. Have you forgotten how depressed he was when she gave him up?"

Michael just gave a shrug. "I still think a lot of it is because of your personal feelings for her. If it helps Hayden in the long run, can you really be against it? You said that she isn't planning on doing anything. She just wants to know what is going on with him. She isn't planning on interfering."

"I can't believe that you think what she is doing is right," Ellen said.

"No I don't what she is doing is right," Michael said. "In a perfect world, Rachel would not have given up on her son. My parents wouldn't have been abusive drunks. Unfortunately, my parents and Hayden's parents made terrible decisions. Rachel is trying to rectify hers somewhat, even if the four of you disagree with it. For people like Hayden or me, a letter means a lot to us. Do you know how much I wished I would get some kind of communication from my parents? Even if it was a 'hi how are you doing?' When I got that message from them, I was pissed off but I truly did want to know why they had wanted to see me. Maybe they were going to apologize, maybe not. I'm never going to know though. At least Hayden has this. Do I think what she is doing is right? No! I think she is a bitch, but for Hayden he needs this. You have to see it from his point of view and put your personal feelings aside."

"It's kind of hard when we nearly lost our own child," I reminded Michael. "She broke his heart three years ago. Back then I couldn't imagine doing what she'd done. After what happened with Hailey, it was even harder to see it through her perspective. I spent a week thinking I'd killed my baby. I'm grateful for the fact that she is in our lives today."

"And that's understandable," Michael answered. "That's what I am talking about Ashley. You have to try to relate to Hayden though."

"Look, Hayden knows he has our support, even if we don't like," Ben told Michael. "As I said, we are keeping an honest and open relationship. Hayden even understands why we don't like her talking to him. He's a smart enough kid."

"Sometimes I think you treat him like an adult and not like he's a child," Michael said.

"My parents did the same with you," Ben reminded him. "Dad kept an open relationship with you from the start."

"And we just always want him to be able to come to us about things, even this," I answered. "I don't want Hayden to ever feel that he has to hide things from us. I know he'll hide certain things from us because teenagers do that, but I want him to tell us the important things. Look at me. I hid what was really going on in our world from when it wasn't necessary. I was just always worried that she'd pull me out of school and make me go back to the muggle world. I don't want that kind of relationship with Hayden. It's why we told him right away that while we don't like him talking to her, we'll support him."

I looked over at him again. It was too bad that he'd lost his innocence at such a young age. When I was his age, I'd still had a young mind. Hayden had lost that at the age of nine. He was no longer with his group of friends. He was now talking quite seriously with one of his friends, Andrew. I'd always liked him. He was a polite young man. I knew he was one of Hayden's closest male friends. He was the one who usually came second after Minnie. I was sure eventually he would be the one Hayden would talk to more since they were both male. There were some things that boys didn't like to girls about and vice versa. I knew Minnie was good friends with a girl named Cassidy. She was a nice enough girl, but sometimes I thought she gossiped too much. I had a feeling she'd be a Ravenclaw. She was one of the kids who I'd taught and she'd always been serious about school work.

"Well I think it's time to call them in for cake," I said. "Most of their parents will be here around four or so. They should probably start getting ready to go."

So I got up and walked over to the edge of the pool to call out to him. The moment I asked if he wanted cake, all the children stopped what they were doing. The tanners got up quickly while the swimmers hurried to climb out of the pool. It was starting to get a bit overcast anyway. I had a feeling this year we were going to have to put the indoor structure on the pool early. It was likely going to be another cold and long winter. There was something about a polar vortex that had affected us the year before, and they were predicting it again.

I felt bad for the kids at Hogwarts. The weather was always much colder out there than here. Usually it was just the dungeons that were freezing, but apparently last year they had felt it in most of the castle, even with warming charms. The Slytherins had felt it the most. I hoped that year they would be prepared for it a lot better than before.

Last year our trip to Florida had been a welcome escape, but even out there it had been cooler than usual. It was a lot better than home, but it still wasn't as warm as we would have liked.

Ben had disappeared from the patio table, but he came out onto the patio levitating a large cake with the number twelve on it. I couldn't help but think back to my birthdays when had done the same. I still remembered the surprise I'd felt for my sixteenth birthday. I stood to the side and watched as the kids gathered around him to watch. I truly hoped this would be the first of many happy moments for him in his Hogwarts career.

Ever since our housewarming party, the number of guests we'd invited from school for parties had dwindled a lot. Some people we'd lost touch with since school had ended, and there were the ones who had talked about me behind my back and of course the ones who had betrayed us. Of course we still talked to all our fellow housemates but it was the people from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor who we'd cut people out of our lives from. The Slytherins were about the same.

It was rather ironic how everyone viewed the Slytherins as the untrustworthy ones and yet they were the ones and the Hufflepuff's who'd had our backs. It was some of the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors who had either talked behind our backs or had even joined up with the group who'd been part of the attack three years ago. None of the Slytherin's from our year had been a part of that group at all.

It was something I tried to remind Hayden and the other kids about. I'd overheard Michelle telling Minnie that she'd ask to leave Hogwarts if she was sorted there. I had taken my goddaughter aside to remind her of people like Denver, Morgan and Claire. She knew now too about the Battle of Godrics Hollow. I'd told her how it was Slytherin's who had protected me that night.

I had a feeling it something that Ellen often said even though she knew there were good Slytherins. Even to this day she still seemed to have a dislike for both Ravenclaws and Slytherins. I couldn't understand what it was that she hated about the Ravenclaw house, but anytime she spoke of it, she sounded disdainful of the whole house. It was odd because she had friends from there including Tara and Lindsay.

That night we still had many guests despite the amount of people we'd cut out, but it would be nothing compared to the parties we'd had at Hogwarts. The summer after our seventh year had been the biggest party we'd ever had other than our housewarming party. Some of those people such as Charlie and Lydia were in Azkaban.

"I can't believe you're really having a party the night before you have a family party," Ellen said with amusement as we prepped good together.

"Aren't you coming tomorrow too?" I asked her while I chopped of some carrots. "Mrs. Hoofer invited your family too."

"And we're going. I'm just shocked your having a party because most of us will be hung-over is all I mean," Ellen told me.

"We'll have hang over potions," I told her. "It's the last weekend of the summer that we can. You know we always have a party, and this has been a busy summer. Work has been more demanding and with Hayden we haven't had much time."

Ellen nodded and then she grinned at me while she washed some lettuce. "It still astounds me that after eight years of marriage, you're still calling her Mrs. Hoofer. She is your mother in law. Some people call their mother in laws 'mother' or by their first name. I called Keith's mother Estelle and she loves it."

"I know and I am sure Mrs. Hoofer would love it too, but it just sounds odd to me. I can't imagine calling her by her name and it's hard to call her mother. She and Mr. Hoofer both understand and they don't mind. You know, even Tasha calls her Mrs. Hoofer and she actually sees her as her mother. She basically adopted her the same as they did with Michael."

"It has still always sounded funny to me," Ellen said. "To me she'll always be Mrs. Hoofer of course, but it's not often that you hear the daughter in law say that."

I shrugged. "She isn't offended by it. I asked her about that when she lived with us. She told me if I am more comfortable to call her Mrs. Hoofer that it was fine with her," I told her. "Maybe if I hadn't met her when I was twelve years old, it would be different. Anyway, we don't plan to get extremely drunk. It's just our traditional summer pool party. Like I said though, we'll have hang over potions. Her party isn't until later in the afternoon."

"It will be nice to have a night off. We really haven't all summer and Michelle seems a bit off lately. I don't know what it is. I think she's upset that Minnie and Hayden are leaving soon," Ellen said. "She has so many friends but she really didn't invite them over this summer."

"I noticed that," I said.

I'd been wondering what was going on with her. Hayden and Minnie really didn't hang out with her, but I'd noticed all summer that she had been at my place with the other kids. We'd had her overnight quite a bit and there were times when I thought she had seemed lonely. I couldn't understand it because I knew that she had many friends at school. She was one of those kids who generally could make friends with anyone. Hayden was the first kid I knew of that didn't like her. Most adults loved her too because she was such a sweetheart. So I couldn't figure out why she seemed sad or lonely other than the fact that Hayden and Minnie were leaving. I just didn't get why since they didn't really hang out with her.

"I hope once she gets back to school things will change. She'll be the oldest of all the kids now," Ellen said.

"That's what I don't understand about it," I said. "I thought she'd be looking forward to them leaving. She hates the fact that they are allowed to tell her what to do if they are watching her. Soon enough she'll be in their place. We already told her that it's her turn to watch out for the kids at school. She'll be the one to take them to the buses if you aren't there."

"Maybe it isn't even about them, but something is definitely different," Ellen said. "She's always been happy-go-lucky little girl, so this is different. She has no reason to be stressed. She's been getting along with Clarissa and I've even been letting her be a baby-sitter in training this summer. I made her believe that she was in charge of Elliot and Clarissa if she went over when Hayden was baby-sitting. I know she's been looking forward to that."

"Well maybe next weekend we'll let her stay over," I told Ellen. "I'll talk to her if you want."

Michelle had always been open with me, but lately I noticed that she'd been coming to me more with her school problems instead of Ellen. I knew this bothered her, but I reminded her that children often did that. Hayden at times told Michael or Ellen things before he told Ben or me because he saw us as his parents.

"Sure, I just wish my daughter could talk to me. I've always been open with both girls and I will be with Elliot when he is older too," Ellen said.

"But you're her mother. Chances are in a few years you'll have Alyssa going to you about her problems. Look at Hayden. He talked to you about Rachel before he talked to us. We'd asked him about it before you did, but he didn't give us an answer. He told you everything. Remember when you would go to my mother or Mrs. Hoofer before your own?"

Ellen nodded. "I know. I just don't like it. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but at times it's hard not to. I just want my children to be able to trust me."

"They do," I told her. "There's a difference between trust and just not wanting to share your problems with your mother."

Ellen didn't answer. She just continued to help me out but I thought she looked sad. I wasn't about to tell her that it would likely continue with each child, especially once they were teens. I knew soon enough that Alyssa wouldn't want to talk to Ben or me about her problems the way she did now. She would tell Clarissa or someone else. I could even see her going to Hayden before she went to one of the adults about it.

We didn't talk as we continued to work on the food together. Hayden entered the kitchen after a while with Alyssa following closely behind. They began asking for some food. Luckily I'd expected this. I levitated a tray full of crackers, cheese and meat slices from the top of the fridge. Generally crackers and cheese was a last resort for the kids. I didn't like to feed them unhealthy foods but at times like this, I did let them indulge. Since they were having a sleep-over it seemed fitting that they should just have unhealthy finger foods. It was one of Hayden's favourite snacks, it had been since he was a baby.

I sent it to the living-room and without another word they ran after the tray. I could hear Alyssa talking excitedly about what movies they were going to watch. I heard her mention Frozen and I couldn't help but smirk.

Brianne came into the kitchen with William in her arms when Ellen and I were almost finished with the food. She set him down and smiled at us.

"Hello ladies," she said. "It's been too long."

"Mummy!" William said as he rushed over to me.

I picked up and hugged him. He looked tired so an early bed-time would be a good idea for him anyway. He looked as if he had been crying. I glanced over at Brianne questioningly.

"He wanted to go to your mothers too," Brianne explained. "He didn't understand why they were going to his grandmothers and he wasn't. It wasn't that he was bad today, but he was very whiny. Everything seemed to get to him today."

"He was punished this morning," I explained. "I think he's just also emotional about Hayden going away."

I glanced at him, he now had his head resting against my shoulder and he was slurping on his fingers. He only did this when he was upset or tired. It was a habit I was trying to break him out of. Long ago he'd given up on sucking his thumb but for some reason he would suck on his four fingers. He glanced at me with shiny eyes. I pulled his hand from his mouth.

"I don't wanna go to bed early tonight mummy," he said.

"You know you have to," I told him. "You look tired anyway. Why don't you help mummy in the kitchen until it's time for bed? Would you like that?"

William nodded and I took him over to the sink so I could wash his hands. He and William were starting to get too heavy for me to carry. I was going to miss being able to cuddle with them and Alyssa this way. She was still light, even for seven but the boys weren't. Once I had his hands washed I set him on the floor and then summoned a stool for him to stand on.

"We're just putting some of the food on the plates," I told him. "Why don't you put all the vegetables on this platter? You can reach can't you."

"Yes," he said and I watched as he carefully began to arrange the food. He had such a serious look on his face as if he were doing an important task.

"Maybe next weekend you can stay over at my place William," Ellen said as she walked over to him. "Michelle is going to sleep-over here. Would you like to do that?"

"Just me?" William asked her.

I'd told Ellen all about William so I knew what she was doing. We were all going to have to try and give him the individual attention he was craving. I knew she wanted to help out my little boy as I wanted to help her little girl.

"Of course!" She said.

William grinned up at her. "Okay I'll sleep-over," and then he looked over at Brianne and me. "Mummy, I am sleeping over at Aunty Ellen's!"

"And I am sure you'll have a lot of fun too sweety," I told him.

"I will!" He said excitedly.

He wore a big smile on his face for the rest of the evening. He didn't even put up a fuss when I told him that it was time for bed. More people had arrived by then, including Michael.

"Can Uncle Michael read to me tonight?" He asked me.

"If you want him to," I answered. "Why don't you go and ask him?"

William jumped off his stool and hurried over to Michael who was talking to Jared. Jared had Hailey in his arms. She looked as if she were ready for bed as well. William pulled on Michael's hand to get his attention.

"Uncle Michael! Can you read my bedtime story tonight? Please?"

"I look forward to it," Michael said as he picked him up. "You look tired anyway. Did you have big day?"

"Uh huh," William answered.

Michael carried him from the room. I walked over to Jared and Hailey. Her eyes were closed but when I approached, she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Hi mummy," she said.

"I think it's almost time for you to go to bed too," I told her.

"No," she said. "Not tired mummy."

"What if Uncle Jared puts you to bed? Would you like that?" I asked.

Jared smirked at me. He knew that I had said the magic words. Hailey loved Jared just as much as he loved her. Out of most people, she always favoured him. She would often ask to stay over at his place for the night. If he was over at our place, and it was time for her to go to bed it would always be him that she requested tuck her in.

"I guess I can put the rugrat to bed," he told me. "She's already falling asleep in my arms anyway."

Without another word, he walked off. Hailey put her head back on his shoulder and closed his eyes. I followed after him to the living-room. Hayden and Alyssa were lying on their stomachs and watching the telly. They had Cinderella on. I could hear Alyssa narrating the movie to him. It was something she did to us all the time. We'd all seen every one of her movies dozens of times. However, she always had to tell us what was going to happen as if none of us knew.

I backed up and went back to the kitchen. Now that all the children were busy or in bed, it was time to serve the alcohol. I knew Hayden would keep Alyssa busy for the rest of the night and William and Hailey would fall asleep right away. More and more people were turning up by that point. Timmy, June and their friends showed up.

"Happy birthday," Timmy greeted and then hugged me.

"Not yet," I told him grinning.

"Yes but we might not see you on your birthday," June told me. "So we're saying it now. You know this is kind of combination of the two. It's tradition after all."

"Yeah it looks like Hayden will have his parties during the day and I will have mine at night," I said.

"I can't believe he's twelve now," June said. "I still remember when he was a baby."

"I can't believe you're twenty-two," I said. "I still remember when you were his age," and then I looked at Timmy and put an arm around him, "And you! I remember when you were Alyssa's age. Now the two of you are married. Is there going to be a little one on the way anytime soon?"

"We're trying, but nothing has happened yet," June told me. "We both wanted to get our careers going. Now I feel that I've been working for a few years it's time. I actually thought I was pregnant recently, but I went to a Healer and unfortunately I'm not."

"It will happen eventually," I said. "In the meantime, you two can keep baby-sitting for us. I might have to bug you about that again now that Hayden is going to Hogwarts."

"It's not bugging us at all," Timmy told me with a grin. "We love taking the kids for you. I actually want to take the twins again for a night. It's been a while."

"Actually, Ellen is taking William next weekend so maybe you could take Cameron," I told him.

"We could," June said as she looked at Timmy. "We love having them over. I'd take all five of them again if I could."

"And you always can," I told her. "We'll never deny you that."

Ellen joined us moments later.

"What's going on little brother," she asked as she joined his other side.

"Can you really keep calling me little brother?" He asked her. "I'm twice your height."

"But you'll always be younger," she said with a wink.

"That's true. You will be thirty in three years," Timmy answered and laughed.

"Hey now," I said. "We don't need to be reminded of that."

"Why because you'll be thirty in two years?" Jerry asked as he joined us. "Look at all the old people here Timmy."

"Yeah I know," Tracy said as she joined us. "I remember there was a time when I wanted to be your age, but I definitely don't want to be now."

"It goes by quicker than you'd think," I told her. "Anyway I'm actually not that upset about almost being thirty. We'll see how I feel in two years, but right now I don't care. I love being in my twenties and I'm sure my thirties will be just as fun."

"And you still look twenty-one anyway," Ben said as he joined. "Why is everyone in here? It's supposed to be a pool party. Let's go outside."

"I still have to get the drinks ready," I told him.

"They've been here before," Ben told me. "They know where all the booze is. It's all ready except they have to serve themselves. You don't need to be pouring drinks for everyone all night. You've done enough. Let's go out to the patio," and he looked at the others. "That goes for the rest of you too. The party is outside."

"Yes sir!" Timmy said and he saluted Ben.

Ben reached out to grab my hand and I took it. Outside on the deck, there were many more people. I hadn't seen some of them for months. Brenda was there as well. She and Barry appeared to be arguing about something while Tasha and Milton stood off to the side. They both looked amused about whatever it was the siblings were fighting about. Ben led me straight to the pool.

"Are you wearing your bathing suit underneath?" He asked.

"Yes I did that after all of Hayden's guests left," I told him.

"Good," he answered and then without another word, he shoved me in.

I swam up sputtering surprised at him. Normally he didn't do things like that with me. He stood at the edge of the pool with a smirk on his face.

"I can't believe you just-" I began but he began to strip down to his bathing suit.

He jumped into the pool and then swam up and looked at me. "I don't understand why you're wearing clothes in a pool," he said.

"Some prat shoved me in the pool," I answered him.

I lifted off my wet shirt and through it on the edge and then took off my shorts. I then swam away from him to join some of the people who were already in the pool. He swam after me. He'd gotten more playful over the years. He'd lost some of his seriousness. Although I'd always loved him, I was glad to see him behave this way a lot more. I found Aaron and Tara standing with Eric and Lindsay so I went straight over to talk to them.

For a good part of the evening most of swam around while others walked around and talked. It started to get cool after a while, but that wasn't unusual. Some people didn't care and stayed in the pool, but after a while I was shivering too much. I climbed out of the pool and summoned myself a sweater and some sweatpants. After performing a drying spell, I pulled on the clothes over my bathing suit.

"I'm just going to go home and grab something warmer," Ellen told me.

"Why don't you just summon it?" I asked her.

"You know I've never been able to summon things from a distance," she told me. "I'll be right back," and without another word, she disapparated on the spot.

By that point, Ben had joined people at the patio table so I made my way around them to sit beside him. Jared and Michael were doing shots with Hank, Stan, Keith and Joey. I smiled at that. Some things never changed with age. It was as if we were back in the common room. I shivered a little more and cast a warming spell on myself.

"We're going to have to put the structure over the pool after this weekend," I told Ben. "I think it's going to get cold early this year."

"I was thinking the same thing," he told me. "I'll worry about that next week."

Ellen returned quicker than I thought she would. Normally she would take her time with changing but that night she didn't seem to care. She'd put her long hair up in a pony-tail and she was wearing one of Keith's sweaters and a pair of jeans. She walked over to join us.

"Give me a shot of firewhiskey," she told Keith. "I need to warm up. It's too cold out."

"You should all have shots of firewhiskey," Jared spoke up. "Why is everyone just nursing their drinks? It's a party here. Ashley, as hostess you need a shot."

"I should go check on Hayden and Alyssa first," I said. "Hailey and William might-"

"They're fine and you know it," Tara interrupted me. "Just relax and have some drinks.

Jared poured some firewhiskey in some shot glasses. With a wave of his wand, each little glass rose in the air and flew to each person at the table.

"Hailey and William are asleep for the night, and you know it," he told me and he nodded at the drink floating beside me. "So drink up and forget the kids for the night. You know Hayden is keeping Alyssa busy."

Ben gave me a small nod, so I reached for the glass and took a drink. In the past I hadn't worried as much about drinking with the kids around but now I did. I knew my friends were right though. The kids would be fine for the night. So I pushed away my worried thoughts and began to drink. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a relaxing night.

I was feeling buzzed when Hayden came out to join us. Ellen and Tasha were just talking about Hayden and Minnie when he joined us. I knew Ellen was at the drunk stage now. As soon as she saw him, she got excited.

"Hayden!" Ellen said excitedly. "We were just talking about you. Come sit down with us. Have a butterbeer."

"He's not even in the first year yet Ellen," Brenda said with disapproval.

I felt instant annoyance. Butterbeer was fine for kids his age. In another year or two I could probably let Alyssa try some. While it could make small children feel buzzed, it was fine for a boy who was almost twelve. We'd let him try his first one when he was nine years old. At twelve it had the same effect that it did for adults. It would warm you up, but you couldn't get drunk off it. Ben and I were his guardians, not her. I was about to tell her this but Ellen spoke up for me.

"It's butterbeer Brenda," Ellen said. "Butterbeer is fine for kids. We were drinking it at his age. It's not as if I am offering him firewhiskey. Michael is the only one who offers first years firewhiskey."

"One time," Michael said. "I offered them firewhiskey once and I never did it again."

Hayden didn't say anything to this. He just walked over to where Ellen and I were sitting. There was an empty seat between us. He sat down in it and I quickly grabbed a butterbeer from one of the many coolers we had outside. I opened it up and set it down in front of him. I shot a look at Brenda was watching me disapprovingly. Someday Richard was going to snap because of how strict she was when it came to certain things.

"I take it Alyssa is asleep now?" I asked Hayden.

I figured that had to be the only reason for why he'd be out here with us instead of with her.

"She fell asleep at the end of Frozen," he explained.

"That movie will be the death of me," Ben said. "I wish somehow I could just 'lose it' and she would forget about it."

"Why don't you just go buy a muggle lottery ticket?" Ellen asked him. "You'd win that before the girls forget about Frozen."

"That's what you get for introducing them to muggle stuff," Brenda said. "I've never understood why you lot keep muggle technology in your life, or why you want your kids exposed to it. I heard that muggle teenagers these days don't do anything but play on their mobile phones."

I didn't understand why that was even relevant. We had some muggle things but we didn't even own a phone. Our children would never be addicted to technology the way some muggle kids were. I'd heard that the kids stayed inside all the time and played on tablets or Ipads, but we didn't own any of that. We had a Wii and some of the older Nintendo systems but that was it. We only let them play with that in the winter or if it was rainy out. Most of the time they preferred to play outside.

"Well I don't think we'll ever have to worry about that," Ben said. "We just have a telly and a computer. We don't own any other muggle device. I couldn't tell you what an Ipad is but my kids will never have one because they won't need one."

"There are trends in the wizarding world too you know," Michael told Brenda. "Isn't Richard into that book series? What is it called again?"

"It's not as bad as Frozen," Brenda said.

I'd never heard of the book series but I didn't care if the twins got into it either. They were more into muggle trends or Quidditch. I was about to ask what the series was but Keith answered before I could ask.

"It's about a wizard who wears leotards and has mind controlling powers," Keith said laughing. "I hope to god that Elliot never gets into that. You're not into that are you Hayden?"

"No," Hayden answered. "I'm not six years old either though."

I'd never heard of that particular book series. I didn't think the twins had it, and I doubted Alyssa was into it. It must have been something they didn't care much about. I was actually surprised William wasn't interested in it.

"You should be," Denver said. "I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you're going to Hogwarts on Monday."

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Minnie is going on Monday," Barry said. "This is a day we've talked about for years, but I never thought it would be here so quick."

"I don't want to talk about that," Tasha said. "Remember, no depressing talk!"

"It's only depressing if you want it to be," Edward said. "For the kids it's exciting."

"You must be excited aren't you?" Tara asked Hayden. "You'll finally do magic. I know I was excited before I went. At least you already know your classmates. We really didn't know anyone when we started. I met Ben and Ellen on the train."

Hayden stayed out for a while and talked to us or answered our questions. I figured I'd tell him to go in at twelve, but after a while he seemed to grow bored of our conversations and he went back inside on his own. I was surprised at the people who were swimming in the pool. By that point it was even colder out.

After a while, people began to leave. I wasn't feeling too tired yet, but that wasn't unusual. While I didn't want to be as exhausted as I had been during my pregnancy, I didn't like this either. I wanted a happy medium between the two. It was annoying because I wasn't even feeling stressed that night. By one, most of our guests had left or some had gone to bed.

"Ben where did you put the potions?" I asked him as we went upstairs.

"There is no way in hell you are taking a sleeping potion when you've been drinking," Ben said to me.

"Ben I am not tired, and I don't want to lay awake all night," I said to him. "Ellen used to take sleeping potions with alcohol all the time and she was fine. I don't think one night is going to hurt."

"No," Ben said firmly.

We entered our bedroom and I glared at him furiously. "Ben I wasn't asking your permission. It's bad enough that you had to hide the potions from me. You know, you're being really controlling-"

"I don't give a fuck!" Ben shouted at me and he pointed his wand at our door to shut it. We had silencing charms on our bedroom. I was sure he didn't want people to hear us fight. "I really don't give a damn anymore how you take it. Fine, I am a controlling prat. If that means you stay healthy then I guess I'll just be that controlling smothering git you see me as."

"Ben," I said and he walked off to go into the bathroom. He slammed the door and moments later I heard the shower running. I walked over to test the door only to find it locked.

I sat down on the edge of the bed to wait for him. He was overreacting to this. I did not think of him that way at all. I just hated it when he felt the need to tell me what to do. I was going to be twenty-eight in less than a week. I did not appreciate being treated like a child. He didn't seem to understand this at all. Perhaps he was right about the sleeping potion and the alcohol, but the fact that I had to get his permission to get it bothered the hell out of me. I loved him, but I hated to be treated like a child.

Ben was in the bathroom for a long time. When he reappeared, he walked out in a pair of pajama bottoms. He sent me a glare as he walked over to the couch we had in there. I watched as he summoned a blanket and a pillow. We'd always agreed that we would never be so angry that we'd sleep apart. I felt at that moment he was trying to make a point, but I saw it as childish. I got up and walked over to him.

"Ben, there is no need for you to sleep on the couch," I said.

He sat down and glared up at me. "Maybe I don't feel like sleeping next to you tonight."

I walked over and sat on his lap. "Don't you think you're being a bit childish about this?" I asked him. "I have never once said any of that to you. I do not think for a moment that you are-"

I was sure this would annoy him and I waited for him to tell me to get off him. He never had in the past, but he'd also never talked to me this way before either. If he didn't want to sleep next to me, I was willing to bet he didn't want me sitting on him either.

"Well you sure as hell make me feel that way," he said to me angrily. He shifted me a little on his lap and put an arm around my waist before he glared into my eyes. "Let's talk about respect here for a moment Ashley. This is something you've brought up to me when it comes my 'controlling'-" and he finger quoted the word controlling and the rested his arms back around me again. "You say I don't respect your decisions or your choices but what about respect for me? Have you ever fucking sat there and thought about why I request you not to do certain things? Or do you just jump to the assumption that I am trying to control you?"

"Of course not," I said. "I just don't like being treated like a child. You hid the sleeping potions from me."

"I had to because you were abusing them!" He said angrily. "Right now you have alcohol in your system and you want to take that stuff. Maybe it didn't hurt Ellen, but that stuff is not meant to be taken with alcohol! I am a bloody Healer. I know my potions. I also know that it's fine to take once and a while but not for long term uses. You take the damn things way too much. I don't give a flying fuck if I make you feel like a child when it comes to that. You don't always make the right decisions when it comes to yourself. You are still impulsive and you make stupid decisions. You should not have gone that night to Godrics Hollow."

I couldn't believe he was bringing that up. I'd started to feel as angry with him as he was with me, but now I was likely beyond that. I didn't think that he would ever throw what we went through in my face that way. He knew how guilty I felt about it. He knew that at times I still lived that week. At times I still had nightmares that we really did lose Hailey.

"I can't believe you're going to throw what happened with Hailey in my face!" I said to him. "You know what? You can sleep on the damn couch every night, because I most certainly don't want to talk to you now about this. You can't be civilized about this discussion. You choose just to throw that in my face."

I moved to get up but he surprised me by grabbing my arm and pulling me back down. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. For a moment I was distracted about the fact that even though he was clearly furious with me, he still wanted me in his arms.

"You are not going to run from this. I am not talking about Hailey either!" He told me.

I struggled to move but he kept one arm around me while he moved forward to grab his wand, which he must have thrown on the couch early.

"I'll bind you here until you talk to me," he threatened. "You said you want to discuss this than fine, that's what we're going to do right now. Ashley I am not for a moment talking about your pregnancy or about the miscarriage scare. I am talking about about Halloween night, and this is relevant to tonight!"

"I don't see how-" I began.

"Because you don't think things through, that's why. You've been doing this for as long as I've known you. You act on your emotions, but you never sit down and really think about the consequences of them or why I am even asking you not to do something. All you see it as is me trying to control you for the sake of controlling you. You overheard my mother and discussing that night in Godric's Hallow. She said I should tell you why I tell you not to do something."

"Well it would be nice-" I started to say but once again he interrupted me.

"I would think some of it would be common sense Ashley. Such as why you shouldn't be taking a damn sleeping potion when you've been drinking!"

"I get that Ben, but I hate the fact that you hid them and that I actually have to go to you for permission," I said. "It's frustrating as hell to have to ask my husband permission to do something. I'm a grown woman and I don't see why I should have to ask you as if you are my father or something."

"Then maybe you should really think about why I had to do that," Ben told me. "Just like why I told you not to go to Godrics Hollow that night. It wasn't to control you, it was because you cannot not duel. You are terrible under pressure when it comes to duelling, and now because of you I am indebted to Don Zent for the rest of my life. If you'd gone with Michael and me, we would have been fighting but protecting you at the same time! It's why I said for you to stay home. I didn't want the kids to lose their mother and they would have if Don, Denver and Morgan hadn't been protecting your ass. You were nothing but a hindrance to them."

I felt hurt now. Didn't he remember the events from that night? It was because of my help that they'd caught the leaders. I had an Order of Merlin to prove that. A lot of what he said was true, but I'd been a big help that night. Afterwards had been awful of course, and I regretted what I'd put Hailey through that but to say I was nothing but a hindrance was wrong. I blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"And that's why I was so pissed off at you that night," Ben told me. "It wasn't because of what happened with Hailey because you didn't know. None of us could have known that would happen. It was the fact that you waited until after I left just to go."

"I was going to stay," I told him and the tears did begin to stream down my cheeks. "But I couldn't do it."

"I know," Ben said but now in a gentler voice than before. He reached up to wipe at my tears. "But that's why I can't always trust your judgment about certain things. And it's why I so pissed off at you right now about this sleeping potion thing. Once again you throw it in my face that I am controlling but that's not it at all. I'm trying to stop you from doing something stupid. I don't understand you. You do whatever it takes to protect everyone else but when it comes to your own health or safety you don't give a damn. Do you know how upset the kids would be to lose you? Do you know how upset I would be? I'm sorry if you feel like I am treating you as if you are a child when it comes to this, but I had to do it. I don't care if it pisses you off. I don't want you getting addicted to the damn sleeping potions and you are most certainly not going to have any tonight!"

I didn't answer him. I just let the tears flow from my cheeks, and at that moment, it felt as if every moment of frustration and stress was finally coming to a head. I hadn't let myself have a good cry in years. I probably really hadn't cried since my pregnancy, but everything I'd been feeling but hadn't let go was coming out in that moment.

Ben had been furious with me only five minutes ago, but now he was hugging me tightly and kissing me. I threw my arms around him and sobbed on his shoulder. He didn't say anything to me, he just let me cry. I felt him press the top of his head onto mine and I felt his body shaking a little and I wondered if he too was crying.

Although it was over two years since Hailey had been born, neither of us had really dealt with any of that. We'd both just put up a strong front for our kids and we'd tried to move on from that incident. We'd never really gone over the stress we'd felt from my pregnancy or miscarriage scare. We pretty much had to move on for the kids sake. I'd had the opportunity more than Ben had when it came to grieving about all that. He was the one who had to stay strong for the both of us.

And I felt instant guilt when it came to that. It was no wonder he was so angry with me at the moment. I'd put him through a lot but he'd taken good care of me and the kids. He'd never been able to let out his frustrations about it. I imagined he'd kept it all bottled up until that point. He'd nearly lost his wife and daughter. He'd also lost his chance to father another child if he'd wanted to. That was all because I'd been impulsive that Halloween night.

"I'm sorry Ben," I said as I pulled away.

I kissed him and he kissed me back and then again even more intensely. Without saying a word, he lifted me up and walked over to the bed. We'd made love many times in our relationship, but this time it seemed it was a necessity to both of us. There was a certain intensity to it that time. By the time it was over, we were clinging to each other tightly.

I had no problem falling asleep after that. With Ben's arms holding me securely, I fell asleep almost instantly.

When I woke up the next morning, Ben was still holding onto me tightly. He had his eyes open and he was staring at me. He smiled at me and leaned forward to kiss me.

"I guess you changed your mind about sleeping beside me," I joked.

"Yeah well sex does that," he told me. "We're not done talking about this either. Tonight or tomorrow night we're going to finish the conversation."

"In a civil manner I hope," I said to him. "I liked the sex but not the yelling."

"I've always thought the yelling made the sex hotter," he said to me and he winked.

"Well it does, but I'd still rather we didn't talk to each other the way we did last night ever again," I told him. "You've never yelled at me like that before. Not even when we were barely speaking."

"I was just frustrated and I have been for a while. I love you so damn much and I can't stand it when you pull the controlling card. We'll talk about that later though," he said and loosened his hold on me. "We should get up. The kids will be up soon enough if they aren't already."

"I've got a headache," I said as I rolled over onto my back. "And we still have long day and it's only morning. I have to get mum and Terry and likely the kids and then-"

"Again with the stress," Ben told me. "I'll get you a pain reliever, you go have a nice hot bath. I'll take care of the kids and the guests until you're ready."

He pointed his wand at the bathroom door and I heard the water running.

"Seriously, give yourself an hour or so to relax. I guarantee you that Brianne and Nick will pick up Mackenzie and Charles. I think mum and dad are planning to take your parents over to there place anyways. So just stop stressing about any of that. You just need to look forward to being a guest today," he told me.

"Fine, but Ben you need to give yourself time to relax as well," I said. "I gave it some thought last night, and you really haven't. You're going to end up in the same place you were when you were a Healer."

"I think we both need that to be honest with you," Ben said and he got out of bed to go into the bathroom to check on the tub.

When he came back out, I watched him go over to his dresser to pull out some clothes. Once he was dressed, he walked back over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm kind of thinking of maybe the two of us taking a week off of work, and then sending the kids to someones else for a week. Maybe we could go to Florida or something for a week just to relax and talk about things," he said. "You know full well that any one of our friends or family members will take the kids. Work should also grant us time off. With Hayden going to Hogwarts, I think it will be easier this way."

"You might be right," I said. "But I feel guilty taking a week a way from the kids."

"Every parent does it," he told me. "And neither of us have relaxed since you were pregnant. We just jumped back into things and I think that's why last night happened. Now we have this stress with Hayden added onto the stress we've been been bottling up. We can't expect to deal with a young man who is going to be a teenager soon if we're ignoring our own issues. Now the tub is almost full. Go relax. I'll come check on you in a bit."

I wasn't sure why he was being so nice to me. He'd had one thing right the night before. I didn't show him much respect when it came to his opinion. Instead of listening to him, I got angry and accused him of controlling me. I watched as he left the room and then I got up to have a bath. When I entered, the water was nearly to the top so I shut off the taps quickly before I climbed in.

After I soaked for a bit, I had a quick shower. Ben hadn't returned by the time I was done, and part of me wondered if he was still upset with me. He loved me, so of course he wanted me to relax and of course he'd be nice to me because of his love for me. However I felt that it was because I'd started to cry the night before that he was being so nice now.

By the time I was dressed and I had my hair set, he still hadn't come up. So I left the room and checked each of the children's rooms. All of our guests were up, and William wasn't in his room. I was sure by that point that Alyssa and Hayden would be awake. They had slept downstairs in the living-room.

Sure enough, when I entered the dining room, it was to find everyone was eating and Ben was the one serving breakfast.

"Have a seat," he told me. "I'll take care of everything today."

I nodded and took my usual chair. I didn't say much during breakfast but most people appeared to be quiet, so it wasn't out of the ordinary. William, Alyssa and Hayden were the ones who were doing the most talking. Everyone else looked tired. Jared was seated beside Hailey and trying to get her to eat everything on her plate.

When I was finished eating, I headed into the kitchen where Ben was cleaning up as everyone was finishing. I joined him at the sink.

"You're still angry with me aren't you?" I asked him.

"Yup," he answered, "but I have other ways of dealing with it that doesn't involve making you cry."

"Like fucking me to sleep?" I muttered as I moved forward to wrap my arms around him.

"That's one of them," he said and he pulled me close to hug me tightly. "But you also had a point last night," he continued and I looked up at him. "We should be able to talk about it in a civil manner. I was just extremely pissed off last night, but I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I let my temper get the best of me. I want us to have a good day today at mums. Hayden is leaving tomorrow and he doesn't need to see us arguing."

"That's definitely the last thing he needs to see," I said.

We tried not to ever argue in front of the kids unless it was just a minor disagreement. We didn't like to have a shouting match in front of them, especially after Ben had gone through his anger stage a few years ago. After we'd seen how much Alyssa and Hayden had picked up on that, we'd vowed to be careful about our tempers around them. At the moment Hayden needed to see his guardians as a happy couple because otherwise he'd worry about us. There was a chance he'd believe our arguments were worse than they were, and he'd worry that we were going to get a divorce.

"By the way," Ben told me as he moved away. "Cameron is already at mums with your parents. Brianne and Nick went there to get the kids with mum and dad. They took everyone over to my parents."

"When are they expecting us? What time is it anyway?"

"It's nearly ten-thirty," Ben told me. "And mum said anytime in the afternoon is fine. We'll probably go after lunch. Everyone will probably be gone by that point, and it will give us the chance to get the kids ready too."

I nodded and then left him to it. I could tell he wanted to be alone, so I went back to the dining room to help out in there. Most of our guests thanked us for breakfast and then left. Soon enough it was just Michael, Shelly and Jared who were left.

"Well we really should get to my mum's to pick up the kids," Shelly said to me. "We'll be over at Ben's parents later."

Shelly left the dining room to say good-bye to Ben.

"We'll probably be over around two or so," Michael added to me. "It depends on Elaina. She was running a fever last night apparently. So I'll probably still be around with Mikayla. I know Mrs. Hoofer has wanted to meet her, and she hasn't had the chance yet. If Elaina is sick though, we don't want her around the other kids, especially Hailey."

"Well I hope she feels better," I told him. "We really haven't had the chance to take her for a night. We're having Michelle over next weekend, but sometime we should take Elliot and Elaina for a night. You usually take them but with a new baby in the house I think it's almost time for the two of you to have a break."

"We love having them over," Michael told me with a shrug. "Neither Hailey or Elliot are hard to look after. I think the twins prepared me for anything when it comes to toddlers. The three of them are tame compared to how William and Cameron were. Speaking of which, maybe we'll trade for that weekend, we'll take the twins."

"If you want," I told him. "But I was thinking you two could use a weekend off. You really haven't since Mikayla was born. Shelly spent her entire summer inside with her. She's nearly four months old now. She'll be fine. Believe me, I understand what it's like to worry with a premature baby but Mikayla will be fine."

"Oh I know that," Michael said. "I learned that because of the twins and then Hailey, but Shelly has never had this kind of scare before. I'll talk to her about it, but she did let her mother take care of the baby last night. So I think she's lightening up a lot more. It's kind of odd. Shelly has never been one to really stress over things."

"Sprogs do that to you," I told him.

"Well I'd better get going. I'll see you later," and then he turned to the kids who were still sitting at the table, but Jared was keeping all four of them busy with some card game. "I'll see you lot later," he said to them.

"Bye Uncle Michael," Alyssa and William said at the same while Hailey waved. Hayden looked up momentarily to give him a small wave, but then he put his focus back on Jared.

I watched as he left before I walked over to see what they were doing. The cards had different magical creatures on them from what I could see. I'd never heard of it before.

"What game is this?" I asked him.

"It's my game," Jared told me. "I invented it. I kind of got the idea from some of the muggle card games that kids play and from Chocolate frog cards. It's not too popular yet because not too many kids know about it, but I am letting yours experiment with it. It's basically a points system kind of game. Dragons earn you more points than say a Kneazle but certain creatures are important to have regardless if it has high points or not. It depends on which card is drawn at the beginning of each round," and then he turned to the kids. "Why don't the three of you keep playing for now. You can tell me if you like it or not later. I'm just going to talk to your mum."

"I already do like it," Alyssa said. "It's fun and I am winning!"

"So far you are," Hayden said. "But it's still the beginning of the game. I'll win."

"Uh uh I am going to win," William said and he proudly slapped down a card with a picture of a Hungarian Horntail on it.

"How am I getting beat by a five year old?" Hayden muttered as he shook his head. He threw down a card that he had and grabbed another one. Alyssa looked annoyed too, but she didn't say anything.

I didn't understand the game but I knew enough about Hungarian Horntails. I knew even in the game that it was a good thing to have the most dangerous dragon in existence in your hands. Jared smiled and then got up. He lifted Hailey from her booster seat and walked over to me.

"It's also a learning game," he said in a low voice as we left the dining room. "It helps them to learn about magical creatures, but they'll never know that."

"Since when do you invent games?" I asked him.

Jared shrugged. "I've always had different ideas for games. They take in ideas in the Ministry and they liked my idea well enough. Right now it's just in the experimental stage. We're supposed to have different kids play it. If it's liked well enough then they'll back me up to sell it. I just have to find out what kind of kids it appeals to and the age group."

"Well mine seem to enjoy it well enough," I said.

We entered the living-room and Jared set Hailey down on her feet. She rushed over to a toy a box that we kept in the living-room for the kids to play with while we watched the telly. We walked over to the couch to sit down.

"For example, two years aren't interested in playing it," Jared said with amusement. "I'd say the youngest would be around four."

"She doesn't even have the attention span for a game of Match," I told him. "You know I kind of worry about her. She seems behind for her age. The twins were speaking more than she does. Even Cameron was and William used to always speak for him."

"All kids are different though," Jared said. "She's a smart little girl but I think for a while she's going to be behind for her age. I don't think it's worrisome though. She isn't too behind."

"I just worry I screwed her up somehow," I said.

"Weren't you just telling Michael that Shelly needs to relax?" Jared asked with amusement.

"Shelly didn't drink or subject Mikayla to hexes or jinxes," I reminded him. "It's not the fact that she was premature that I worry. The twins were premature too, but they were never behind. Hailey didn't learn to crawl when she should have, and she wasn't walking much until she was almost eighteen months. Alyssa was crawling by the time she was five months-"

"You can't compare them to Alyssa or Hayden," Jared reminded me. "And you did worry about Cameron when he was two as well. You've worked with kids long enough to know that they all develop at different ages. I remember you even worrying about Hayden when you compared him to Minnie. He's almost twelve and he's certainly grown up healthy. Ben's right when he says you stress a lot."

"Was he talking to you this morning about last night?" I asked and Jared shook his head with confusion.

"Why what happened last night?" He asked.

"We got in an argument last night. I just figured he would have mentioned something this morning. He wanted me to relax this morning," I answered. "What did he tell everyone this morning then?"

"He just said you were having a lay in," Jared told me. "If Ben was telling you that you need to stress less than you know he's right. We've been telling you that for years. It's not the kids you should be worrying about, it's you. You need to take better care of yourself."

"I heard that from Ben already," I muttered. "Anyway, where is Leanne? Why wasn't she with you last night?"

"We broke up," Jared told me.

"What?" I asked. "Why? You two were great together. She was such a sweet girl. Why would you break up with her?"

"She broke up with me," Jared told me. "She was jealous about all the time I spend with Hailey and the fact that I wouldn't have a kid with her yet. I told her that I wanted us to be together for longer than a year before I made that kind of commitment. She was all for settling down and getting married already and I wasn't. I'm not going to marry someone or have a kid with them if we haven't been together for a long time. We were together for ten months. That isn't enough time to make that decision yet."

"I thought Hailey was one of the reasons she liked you so much," I said. "You two were even living together. So I thought this time she would be the one. You've never lived with a girl before."

"I think moving in together was the mistake," Jared told me. "And she liked how I am with Hailey only because she expected I'd be a good father eventually. It bothered her that I could be that way with your kids, but I wasn't willing to have one with her, so she dumped me. She moved out last week. I think when I asked her to move in, she thought that meant we were ready for that kind of commitment."

"Well living together is a big step," I told him. "It might have been early for kids, but it's understandable why she wanted more."

"I don't do ultimatums," he told me. "She wanted me to choose between my goddaughter and her. The choice was obvious. I'll find someone eventually. Sometimes I felt like she was a bit of a gold digger anyways."

Ben entered the living-room.

"Jared," he said when he spotted the two of us. "Are you coming today? We'll likely leave here around noon if you are."

Jared gave a small shrug. "I'm not doing anything today. I could go. I love your mothers cooking, and I haven't been over to your parents place in years."

Ben gave a small nod and continued on through the living-room and to the stairs.

"He does seem a bit moody today," Jared said as he stood up. "Should we get the rugrats ready then?"

I nodded as I watched him go. He seemed to be going through mood swings. One moment he was happy, but the next he wasn't. I imagined he must have been brooding about last night while he was cleaning up. He often complained that Hayden did that, but he was just as bad and I wondered if our godson had actually picked that up from him. I sighed. It was supposed to be a good day, but I wasn't so sure if it would be now.


	5. Chapter 5

I slammed the door behind me as I heard her call out my name. I was so damn sick and tired of her bringing up the fact that I was controlling. She could be so irresponsible about things at times that I had to put my foot down. I'd known that we'd end up arguing when I hid the potions from her. I just couldn't believe that she actually wanted to take some when she'd been drinking. Why didn't she ever think things through? At times I felt she could still be a defiant teenager. Didn't she ever thing about the reason for why I requested she not do certain things.

All of this was on my mind while I showered. It was something that still put a wedge in our marriage even to this day. I never brought it up because I knew how guilty she felt, but I was still angry that she'd gone Halloween night. There was no need for her to have gone, but she had anyway. I didn't bring it up because I knew she would think I was blaming her for what happened afterwards, which wasn't the case at all. How I could bring up the battle without sounding like I was blaming her?

After I showered I found a pair of pajama bottoms I'd left in the bathroom that morning. I knew she was waiting for me and quite frankly, I didn't want to be around her at the moment. It was the first time in our entire relationship that I didn't want to sleep next to her. In the past we'd been angry with each other, but I'd always still wanted her with me. Even back in seventh year when we hadn't been speaking I'd still wanted her there even if she hadn't wanted me.

We had guests over, so I couldn't very well sleep in another room. We did have a couch and chairs in our bedroom. I'd never understood the use for them to be there. It wasn't often that Ashley and I used them, but for some reason mum and Ashley's mother insisted on it. So we'd bought the furniture but they hadn't been put to good use. The only time I could really remembered that we'd used them was when she'd been pregnant with Hailey.

Now I was glad the couch was there. I could sleep on it instead. My back would likely hurt but I would take that over sleeping next to her that night. So I left the bathroom and ignored her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. I could tell she was watching me. I was glad, she would be able to see how much she'd finally gotten to me with this controlling bullshit. I summoned a blanket and pillow. After I did this, Ashley got up from the bed and walked over to me.

"Ben, there is no need for you to sleep on the couch," she told me.

"Maybe I don't feel like sleeping next to you tonight," I told her.

I sat down on the couch defiantly and glared up at her. I wanted her to see that I'd made my choice. I was not going to give in to her demands this time. However she wasn't going to let it end here. She was just as stubborn as me at times. She sat down on me and I was tempted to lift her off and walk over to the bed. She could sleep on the couch instead, but I knew it would be pointless. She would just follow me to bed. I could tell that she wasn't going to leave me alone or let things go.

Don't you think you're being a bit childish about this?" She asked me.

I was the one being childish? Did she even know what she was talking about anymore? I felt even more angry than I was before. If either one of us was being "childish" it would be her. She was the one who always reacted like a teenager. She never thought of the consequences of her actions. At times her actions were the same as a twelve year old would pull. Hayden had better sense than she did.

"I have never once said any of that to you," she continued. "I do not think for a moment that you are-"

"Well you sure as hell make me feel that way," I interrupted her.

I shifted her so slightly so I could move into more of a comfortable position. As much as I didn't want her to be there, it was actually easier to talk to her this way. People had been telling me for a while now to tell her my true feelings, and I felt that this was the night to do it. Ever since her pregnancy I'd been holding back. She'd been so stressed and the last thing I wanted to do was add to it. I didn't want to argue with her, but I couldn't take her attitude for much longer. In the past I had given in when she'd called me controlling because I hated for people to think of me that way. I often felt she took advantage of that.

She often told me I should respect her, but she really didn't respect me either. She always just dismissed my opinion as controlling. It was ending at that moment. I wanted her to realize from now on why I said or did the things I did.

"Let's talk about respect here for a moment Ashley," I told her. "This is something you've brought up to me when it comes my 'controlling'-" and I made sure to finger quote the word 'controlling' before I continued on. "You say I don't respect your decisions or your choices but what about respect for me? Have you ever fucking sat there and thought about why I request you not to do certain things? Or do you just jump to the assumption that I am trying to control you?"

"Of course not," she said. "I just don't like being treated like a child. You hid the sleeping potions from me."

"I had to because you were abusing them!" I told her angrily.. "Right now you have alcohol in your system and you want to take that stuff. Maybe it didn't hurt Ellen, but that stuff is not meant to be taken with alcohol! I am a bloody Healer. I know my potions. I also know that it's fine to take once and a while but not for long term uses. You take the damn things way too much. I don't give a flying fuck if I make you feel like a child when it comes to that. You don't always make the right decisions when it comes to yourself. You are still impulsive and you make stupid decisions. You should not have gone that night to Godrics Hollow."

Ashley's worry about me being anger changed from shock and then to anger herself. I could see her face reddening now. I'd known I'd cross some kind of line there. I'd meant to bring up Halloween night, but not in that way. I'd wanted us to ease into that discussion but when I lost my temper, I didn't always think things through. I ended up doing the same things that I accused her of doing.

"I can't believe you're going to throw what happened with Hailey in my face!" she shouted. "You know what? You can sleep on the damn couch every night, because I most certainly don't want to talk to you now about this. You can't be civilized about this discussion. You choose just to throw that in my face."

I grabbed a hold of her arm as she got up. This had gone to a place I hadn't meant for it to go. I'd only meant to prove a point to her, not offend or hurt her. We'd also never been one of those couples who fought to this point. There had never been a time when she would actually tell me to sleep on the couch. As upset as we could be with each other, we slept together but just stayed on our sides of the bed. I didn't want to have a fight where there was no going back. So I pulled her back down on me and held onto her tightly.

I wanted us to talk about it once and for all, but not to the point where we would stop speaking to each other.

"You are not going to run from this. I am not talking about Hailey either!" I told her.

She continued to struggle anyway, so I grabbed my wand from where I had put it after I'd summoned the blanket and pillow. I pointed it at her thinking I could bind her if I had to. It would actually make things easier if I just put the full body-bind on her and told her everything I'd been thinking for years now. I couldn't do that however, but I could threaten her with it. I knew that would be enough to make her stop and listen to me. She'd been the one who wanted to talk, so that's what we were going to do.

"I'll bind you here until you talk to me," I threatened her and she stopped struggling. "You said you want to discuss this than fine, that's what we're going to do right now. Ashley I am not for a moment talking about your pregnancy or about the miscarriage scare. I am talking about about Halloween night, and this is relevant to tonight!"

"I don't see how," she started to say and I knew where she was going so I interrupted her before she could even begin.

"Because you don't think things through, that's why. You've been doing this for as long as I've known you. You act on your emotions, but you never sit down and really think about the consequences of them or why I am even asking you not to do something. All you see it as is me trying to control you for the sake of controlling you. You overheard my mother and discussing that night in Godric's Hallow. She said I should tell you why I tell you not to do something."

I still didn't see why to this day however. She should have just known. It should be obvious why I hated it when she took sleeping potions all the time. It definitely should have been obvious to her why I hadn't wanted her to go to Diagon Alley in our sixth year, or why I'd told her to stay home that Halloween night. She was still turning it around to me blaming her for the pregnancy or me just controlling her to control her. She never went past that and thought about why.

"Well it would be nice-" she started to say but I stopped her again.

"I would think some of it would be common sense Ashley. Such as why you shouldn't be taking a damn sleeping potion when you've been drinking!"

"I get that Ben, but I hate the fact that you hid them and that I actually have to go to you for permission," she said. "It's frustrating as hell to have to ask my husband permission to do something. I'm a grown woman and I don't see why I should have to ask you as if you are my father or something."

"Then maybe you should really think about why I had to do that," I told her. "Just like why I told you not to go to Godrics Hollow that night. It wasn't to control you, it was because you cannot not duel. You are terrible under pressure when it comes to duelling, and now because of you I am indebted to Don Zent for the rest of my life. If you'd gone with Michael and me, we would have been fighting but protecting you at the same time! It's why I said for you to stay home. I didn't want the kids to lose their mother and they would have if Don, Denver and Morgan hadn't been protecting your ass. You were nothing but a hindrance to them."

I hated the fact that I owed anything to Don Zent. I hate him with passion. I could not just easily forgive or forget what he'd done in school, but for Ashley and Michael I put up with it. The two of them seemed so keen to forgive them because Don had saved Ashley, and Xavier had saved Michael. Every wizard usually had a bond with someone once they were saved by someone, even if they didn't want it. I had that with Don through my marriage. I didn't mind Maisie much, but with her came those two. I'd never forgiven her for letting them in my house without my permission. I didn't care if they'd changed, it was hard for me to forgive what they'd been involved in. I didn't get how Michael and Ashley could forgive them. We talked to them sometimes, but I hated having them over and I believed they all knew that, so they didn't come often.

Ashley was staring at me with hurt now. She looked as if she was ready to cry. I hadn't intended for that. I hated seeing her cry, and I knew she was likely thinking about Hailey at the moment. I wanted her to see Halloween night and her pregnancy as different situations. I knew it was hard since one led up to the other, but I didn't blame her for what happened afterwards. I didn't know how I could ever explain that properly however.

"And that's why I was so pissed off at you that night," I told her. "It wasn't because of what happened with Hailey because you didn't know. None of us could have known that would happen. It was the fact that you waited until after I left just to go."

"I was going to stay," she told me and she was crying now. "But I couldn't do it."

"I know," I answered her as I reached up to wipe at her tears. "But that's why I can't always trust your judgment about certain things. And it's why I so pissed off at you right now about this sleeping potion thing. Once again you throw it in my face that I am controlling but that's not it at all. I'm trying to stop you from doing something stupid. I don't understand you. You do whatever it takes to protect everyone else but when it comes to your own health or safety you don't give a damn. Do you know how upset the kids would be to lose you? Do you know how upset I would be? I'm sorry if you feel like I am treating you as if you are a child when it comes to this, but I had to do it. I don't care if it pisses you off. I don't want you getting addicted to the damn sleeping potions and you are most certainly not going to have any tonight!"

She was openly sobbing now and even though I was still furious with her, I couldn't tell her off anymore. We weren't done talking about this, but there was no point in doing it now. She wrapped her arms around me and really let go. All I could do was kiss and hug her. Just as her sobbing had affected me to tears when we thought she'd lost Hailey, I felt it happen again. It came out of no where since I'd been so furious with her. The anger I'd been feeling for the last few years turned into the sadness I'd also experienced. In the past I would feel embarrassed about crying in front of her or anyone, but I'd let that go when it came to her years ago. I lowered my head to the top of hers and let go.

I never would have thought we'd be doing this now. I thought we'd been able to get past it but we hadn't. We'd just bottled it up, and an argument that had been about sleeping potions had gone back to that Halloween night almost three years ago. We'd never dealt with the stress and sadness we'd experienced for months afterwards and we should have. We were going to have to deal with it now if we wanted to remain a happy couple.

"I'm so sorry Ben," she said as she pulled from me a little bit. She kissed me.

I kissed her and as odd as it was, I now wanted to shag her into oblivion. Ten minutes ago I hadn't even wanted to be in the same bed as her, but now I wanted us in our bed and making love. I continued to kiss her as I lifted her up and carried her over to our bed.

I woke up the next morning with my arms still wrapped around her. I felt terrible that I had pushed her to tears during what was supposed to be a good weekend, but I was also still angry with her. I didn't want to move in case I disturbed her from her sleep. We were going to have to talk about this still, but I was going to do it in a way that didn't make her cry. I knew I had the right be angry with her, but I should have handled it better. I still loved her as much as I always had.

She opened her eyes about a half hour later. We gazed at each other and then I leaned forward to kiss her.

"I guess you changed your mind about sleeping beside me," she said smiling.

"Yeah well sex does that," I told her. "We're not done talking about this either. Tonight or tomorrow night we're going to finish the conversation."

"In a civil manner I hope," she said. "I liked the sex but not the yelling."

"I've always thought the yelling made the sex hotter," I answered and winked at her.

I hated yelling at her or when we fought but makeup sex was always hot. Last night hadn't exactly been make up sex, but it had been intense. It had also put her to sleep. Perhaps sex would be the cure to her insomnia.

"Well it does, but I'd still rather we didn't talk to each other the way we did last night ever again," she said to me. "You've never yelled at me like that before. Not even when we were barely speaking."

I felt guilty when she said the last bit. It was true. We'd had many fights but I always kept from yelling at her or swearing at her too much. There really wasn't a need for it, but I'd lost my temper. I was still upset but I would do whatever it took to make sure last night didn't happen again.

"I was just frustrated and I have been for a while. I love you so damn much and I can't stand it when you pull the controlling card. We'll talk about that later though," I explained to her. "We should get up. The kids will be up soon enough if they aren't already."

"I've got a headache," she said as she rolled over. I came close to telling her that I knew a good pain reliever for that, but she just had to keep talking. "And we still have long day and it's only morning. I have to get mum and Terry and likely the kids and then-"

"Again with the stress," I said to her. "I'll get you a pain reliever," and I was no longer in the mood for my original plan. I hated it when she got like this. It was almost as bad as when she'd been in the first and second year. "You go have a nice hot bath. I'll take care of the kids and the guests until you're ready."

I pointed my wand at the door to put the stopper in the tub and then turned on the taps. I knew how warm she liked her baths, so I set the water for that temperature.

"Seriously, give yourself an hour or so to relax. I guarantee you that Brianne and Nick will pick up Mackenzie and Charles. I think mum and dad are planning to take your parents over to their place anyways. So just stop stressing about any of that. You just need to look forward to being a guest today," I told her.

"Fine, but Ben you need to give yourself time to relax as well," she answered. "I gave it some thought last night, and you really haven't. You're going to end up in the same place you were when you were a Healer."

"I think we both need that to be honest with you," I said and I got out of the bed.

It had actually been something I'd thought about the previous night before I'd fallen asleep, and then before Ashley had woken up that morning. I believed the two of us needed to get away for at least a week. With Hayden going to Hogwarts and the kids being back at school, it would be easier. Timmy and June expressed interest in taking them the night before. I wondered if they'd be open to taking some of the kids for a week. I knew Jared would take Hailey for a week without hesitation.

I went into the bathroom to see how much water was in the tub so far. It was only half-way full by that point. We had a nice huge tub that a person could fully emerge themselves in. We had many good memories with that tub. I figured right now would be the best time for her just to sit back and relax while I took care of everyone else. I made sure to put in her favourite bubble bath and then went back into our bedroom. She was still laying on her back in bed. I tried not to stare at my naked wife's breasts and instead quickly got dressed. We would have time for that later. Even though I was angry with her, I still couldn't stop thinking about sex with her.

I figured that must have been a good sign however. The night before I'd been so angry that I hadn't want to be near her. Now I was still angry with her but I wanted sex, so it had to be a step in the right direction. That's what I told myself anyway.

"I'm kind of thinking of maybe the two of us taking a week off of work, and then sending the kids to someones else for a week. Maybe we could go to Florida or something for a week just to relax and talk about things," I told her. "You know full well that any one of our friends or family members will take the kids. Work should also grant us time off. With Hayden going to Hogwarts, I think it will be easier this way."

"You might be right," she answered which surprised me. I'd almost expected her to use work as an excuse again."But I feel guilty taking a week a way from the kids."

"Every parent does it," I reminded her. "And neither of us have relaxed since you were pregnant. We just jumped back into things and I think that's why last night happened. Now we have this stress with Hayden added onto the stress we've been been bottling up. We can't expect to deal with a young man who is going to be a teenager soon if we're ignoring our own issues. Now the tub is almost full. Go relax. I'll come check on you in a bit."

I didn't really intend on coming back up to check on her. I just hoped she would do as I asked this time. I could get everyone breakfast and get the kids ready for the day. I left the room without another word to her. Out in the hallway I found William just leaving his room. He was rubbing his eyes.

"Daddy!" He said excitedly.

"Hi mate," I said and I hurried over to pick him up. "Did you have a good sleep? You looked really tired yesterday."

"I'm sorry I hit Cameron with the broomstick daddy," he said.

"I know you are, but remember that it's not me who you should be apologizing to. When you see your brother today you should tell him that," I told him.

"I will," he told me. "Daddy I never get to go to Grandma Alexanders."

"Well maybe you can ask her when you can over there again," I told him. "I'm sure her and Grandpa Terry will be more than happy to take you for a night or two."

I carried down the steps and through the living-room. Hayden was laying on the couch where he had slept for the night, but he was now awake and flipping through the channels. Alyssa was still sleeping on the floor.

"Time for breakfast," I told him. "Shut off the telly and come help out with breakfast."

"Everyone slept in today," Hayden said and pointed the remote at the television to turn it off. He got up and stretched.

"Well it was a late night," I told him. "Most of us were up past one, what time is it anyway?"

I hadn't had the chance to look at the clock quite yet. We went into the dining room where I set William into his chair.

"It's nine," Hayden answered. "Some people already left but there are some people upstairs too."

I nodded and continued onto the kitchen to find Ellen preparing breakfast for us. I didn't know if she'd actually stayed over the night before or if she had come over to help out. I walked over to help her out. She and Ashley had made a deal a long time ago that they would always help each other out. If the party was at Ellen's house then Ashley would have to help and vice versa.

"You look tired," Ellen said as she flipped an egg.

"We had a late night," I told her. "Ashley's just having a lay in."

"I don't blame her. Hailey had me up early though, so I got up and came down here. Some of the people who stayed left already. Tara and Aaron told me to thank you for last night but they needed to get home to the kids," Ellen told me.

"Where is Hailey?" I asked her.

"Keith and Jared are outside with her," Ellen answered. "I can call her in if you want."

And without waiting for my response, she turned from the stove to go to the patio doors. I took her place at the stove to continue with breakfast. Feeding everyone would actually be a welcome distraction for me. Ellen returned a few minutes later with Hailey in her arms and Keith and Jared trailing her.

"You can all sit down in the dining room," I told them. "I'll finish making the breakfast."

Ellen handed Hailey to Jared who continued on.

"Keith and I are actually going to go home. We were just waiting for you and Ashley to get up," Ellen told me. "We'll be over at your mums later on."

I nodded. "Well thanks for getting breakfast started."

"Is everything okay?" Ellen asked me.

"Yup," I answered quickly.

"Are you sure?" She pressed on.

"Ellen, I don't want to talk about things right now," I said to her not being to be so harsh.

"Okay, but you know I am here for you and Ashley," Ellen told me. "You promised you would talk to us more if things weren't going well. You and Ashley seem to be bottling things up lately."

She turned and left the kitchen through the patio doors with Keith and left me in peace. I went back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room to serve everyone, but I ate alone in the kitchen. Most of the people who had stayed were my siblings, Jared, Michael and Shelly, Denver and Sheila and Timmy, June and their gang.

Ashley entered the dining room eventually and I told her to just sit and eat which she did. I went back to the kitchen to begin the clean up. Luckily all of our guests seemed to be in hurry that day. They all ate and then left shortly afterwards. After a while, Ashley joined me in the kitchen. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to her quite yet. I wanted us to just have a good day for Minnie and Hayden's sake. This was after all their going away party and kind of Hayden's birthday party too.

She stepped up beside me at the sink after she put her dish in.

"You're still angry with me aren't you?" She asked.

I figured I should be honest with her that I was indeed still upset with her.

"Yup," I answered, "but I have other ways of dealing with it that doesn't involve making you cry."

"Like fucking me to sleep?" She muttered but she stepped forward to wrap her arms around me.

"That's one of them," I told her and I pulled her even closer to me and held her tightly. "But you also had a point last night," I continued and she looked up at me with some surprise on her face. "We should be able to talk about it in a civil manner. I was just extremely pissed off last night, but I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I let my temper get the best of me. I want us to have a good day today at mums. Hayden is leaving tomorrow and he doesn't need to see us arguing."

"That's definitely the last thing he needs to see," she agreed.

"By the way," I told her as I moved from her to finish with the clean up. "Cameron is already at mums with your parents. Brianne and Nick went there to get the kids with mum and dad. They took everyone over to my parents."

Brianne and Nick had been one of the first to leave that day. They'd told me what there plans were. I wasn't entirely sure if her parents were there at that moment, but I figured it was a safe bet that they all would be soon enough. Ashley's mother had written to Brianne to let her know that Jaime had dropped Cameron off before she and Graysen had gone off to the park.

"When are they expecting us? What time is it anyway?" Ashley asked me.

"It's nearly ten-thirty," I answered her. "And mum said anytime in the afternoon is fine. We'll probably go after lunch. Everyone will probably be gone by that point, and it will give us the chance to get the kids ready too."

She nodded and then walked back to the dining room. I stared after her feeling guilty but I still wanted to be alone. I just continued on with cleaning everything up after everyone. Michael and Shelly were the last to go. I was glad when everyone was finally gone. Normally our guests hung around the next day but I was relieved that everyone had eaten and then left. I wasn't in the mood for entertaining at the moment, especially since we still had to go to mums.

When I finished up, I found that the kids were still in the dining room, but they were playing some card game. I left them to it since it was keeping them busy. They barely noticed me anyway as I made my way to the living-room. I found Ashley and Jared sitting together and talking. I felt some annoyance as soon as I saw him. I liked him of course, but sometimes I felt that she talked to more than she talked to me. In fact, she talked to everyone more than she talked to me. Lately it seemed she was even closer to him than usual and I hated it. I knew she had her male friends, but I should have been the closest male to her.

"Jared," I said. "Are you coming today? We'll likely leave here around noon if you are."

Jared gave a small shrug. "I'm not doing anything today. I could go. I love your mothers cooking, and I haven't been over to your parents place in years."

I gave him a small nod and continued on. It wasn't that I was worried that Ashley would cheat or anything. I knew that she loved me. I also knew that their friendship was strictly platonic. She had that with many of the men in our lives. I just felt that a husband should always be the one who was the closest in their wives lives. Ellen was a good friend of mine, but I was still to this day closer to Ashley than anyone else and that's how it should have been. And yet lately neither one of us were using our closeness as we should.

I went up to our bedroom to have a quick shower and then got dressed quickly. When I got back downstairs it was to find that Jared had taken the kids to mums already and it was just Ashley now. She was waiting for me in the living-room.

"Are we okay?" She asked as she snuggled up closer to me when I sat beside her. "I feel guilty about last night."

"So do I," I told her. "My intention was never to make you cry. I was just so damned pissed at you. I hate how you always see it as controlling when it isn't."

"I know," she said. "I've been thinking about it a lot, especially about the part you mentioned about respect."

"Sweetheart, we agreed that we wouldn't talk about this until tonight or tomorrow," I said to her. "We want to make sure that Hayden has a good day, and I don't want us to get angry with each other or to upset you again."

"But you said you're still angry with me," Ashley said. "I'm going to worry about it all day."

"I'm not as angry as I was last night," I told her. "I calmed down. I just felt it was a low blow for you to bring up the controlling thing once again. You and I both know that it would be a bad idea for you to have taken the sleeping potion with alcohol in your system."

"I know," she said and then suddenly she got up and then straddled me which took me by surprise. "And so I should make it up to you by making you feel bad last night," she continued. "You tried your best to cheer me up and now it's my turn. I helped Jared take the kids over to your parents place. I told them to expect us after one or so. It's only eleven-thirty so we have plenty of time to do some making up, even if you are angry with me. You're the one who told me that it's hotter this way though."

And without another word she was suddenly kissing me. She reached down to pull off my shirt. I didn't need persuasion, I instantly reached for her shirt to pull it off of her. I could spend the rest of the day with my wife but I knew we only had a couple of hours, so I had to make the best of it.

"You seem to be in a better mood than you were this morning," Brianne told me as I greeted Mackenzie.

"I'm more awake than I was this morning," I said to her. "We were up late drinking and I had a brood of people to feed," and then I knelt down so I was eye level with Mackenzie. "Did you have a good time at Mrs. Alexanders last night?"

"Yup!" She said excitedly. "We watched Frozen last night and Charlie and Terry played with some remote control cars."

"You too? Hayden and Alyssa watched it last night too," I said.

"We're going to be Elsa and Anna this year for Halloween," Mackenzie told me. "Well, Clarissa is going to be Anna too."

"Two Anna's?" I asked. "Why two Anna's?"

"There aren't any other girls except their mum but none of us want to be a mum. Alyssa is going to be Elsa and me and Clarissa are going to be Anna," she explained. "It's okay to be two characters."

"And where is my daughter?" I asked her.

"Outside with her grandma," she told me.

That didn't tell me which grandmother since they were both outside, but it didn't really matter anyway. I stood back up and saw that Brianne was still staring at me. She and Barry could always tell when I wasn't truthful. We weren't as close as we had been as kids, but she usually could read me well enough. Most people were either outside or in the kitchen while we were in the living-room with the youngest kids. I'd come in to see Hailey, but had run into my nieces and nephews as well.

"So is everything okay with you?" She asked me.

"Things are fine, well at least they're better," I said. "Ashley and I were arguing but we talked things out, and we worked some things out after everyone left."

"And by working things out you mean by sex?" She asked.

"Brianne I am not talking about my sex life with you," I said and she giggled.

"I don't know why you have such hang ups about talking about it. We all know you do it. You have four children to prove that you at least shagged three times, but I know it's more than that since I walked in on the two of you today," she said.

"You what?" I asked and stepped away from Elliot who was trying to get my attention.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the children. They were all still quite young, so they wouldn't know what we were talking about but I still wasn't comfortable about talking about it around small children. I would see what Elliot wanted in a moment, but I wanted to know what Brianne was talking about.

"You were gone by that point," I said. "Ashley sent the kids here so we could have time to ourselves."

"Right and I went over to see what time you two would arrive. Ashley's parents were asking about her, so I said I'd check. The two of you were pretty hot and heavy on your couch," she told me. "It was quite disturbing to see, especially since I've sat on the couch many times and so has your children."

"Like you only stay in your bedroom," I said. "Anyway, that isn't the point."

"No it's not," Brianne said with a smirk. "You two must be good now aren't you? I thought something wasn't right with you. You two seemed as if you made up."

"Not exactly but we're working on it, so moving on from my sex life," I said.

Brianne laughed. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't tell anyone what I saw. I just told them that you two were cleaning up and then you'd be here. I just wanted to make sure you were fine because I noticed you were upset, but so did Ellen, Jared and Michael. They were all asking about you, and it was another reason why I went to check. Ellen was worried you two might be fighting."

"We're working things out," I said. "It's something that has basically been three years too late."

Brianne nodded with understanding now. I'd told her some things, but not all. I knew she got the gist of it however.

"Well it's about time," she said.

"For now we just want to have a good day for Hayden and Minnie," I told her. "We don't want Hayden to know anything is wrong."

"What do you mean by that one," Brianne said. "Should we be worried here? Given what I walked in on I thought things were fine. I think you and me need to have a talk Ben, and not in here when anyone can walk in on us. I was just trying to take the piss because of what I saw, but now I am truly worried, especially since I am not the only one who noticed your mood today."

"It's not that bad, you have nothing to worry about," I told her. "Don't start getting worked up on me as well. I deal with that enough when it comes to Ashley. I don't want that with you as well."

"When you say things like what you just did it does worry me," Brianne said.

She couldn't say much more because Ashley's mother walked into the living-room by that point. I watched as she walked straight over to the little ones. She knelt down and easily lifted both Elaina and Hailey in her arms. It reminded me then that Elliot had been trying to get my attention.

"You and me are going to talk later," Brianne whispered in my ear but I ignored her and went straight over to Elliot.

"Thanks," Darla said to me. "We're about ready to bring out the cake. Everyone has already had lunch and we've decided not to wait until after dinner. We want to get all the children together but they're scattered everywhere."

"He was trying to get my attention anyway," I told her as I picked him up. "What's up mate?" I added to Elliot.

"I got new dragon," he told me.

Elliot loved dragons and he had quite the collection of them. We tried to find different kind of dragons for him, even ones from the muggle world. It had been me who had accidentally started his obsession with them and now he always had to show me any new one he recieved.

"Where is it?" I asked him and he pointed to the couch where sure enough there was a stuffed dragon on the couch.

I walked over to pick it up for him and then handed it to him. He hugged it tightly and then beamed up at me. Although I'd only seen pictures of Timmy at that age, I thought he looked a lot like him.

"Who gave you that?" I asked as I followed Ashley's mother out the room.

"Jaime," he answered.

"Really?" I asked and I hurried forward to get to Darla's side. "Is Jaime here too?"

"No but she gave that to me to give him," she answered. "I told him it was Jaime who had given it to him. Graysen really doesn't play with it anymore. He didn't mind giving it up. It would have been nice for her to be here today too. I know Hayden would have appreciated it but you know how she is when there are too many wizarding children. She asked if you could bring him over later tonight for a quick good-bye."

"We could try," I told her. "Maybe even later today we could take him over for a few minutes."

I didn't add that we shouldn't have had to. She should have been there for him, but I still hadn't forgotten about her attitude when Ashley had been pregnant. I couldn't imagine ignoring one of my siblings like that. Brenda and I certainly weren't close, but I would be there for her in a second. I still had a hard time believing that I'd been in love with her when I'd been twelve. I got along with her because she was Ashley's sister but I didn't like her much.

We headed through the kitchen and out onto the deck. I noticed mum and dad had closed the pool early that year, but I couldn't really blame them. It had been a chilly August. They were likely worried that the kids would want to go swimming. I didn't understand why they didn't just do what we did. On the patio table they had a big cake similar to the one we'd had yesterday but it had twelve candles on it. All the children were gathered around the table and waiting for Hayden to blow them out.

"Okay everyone is here!" Charlie said. "Blow out the candles!"

Elliot began to struggle in my arms so I set him down. He rushed over to stand with Michelle. Darla set down her children and they also rushed forward. Hailey went over to stand next to Cameron while Elaina went over to Mackenzie, Alyssa and Clarissa. Ashley walked over to be and placed an arm around my waist. I pulled her close.

"What a spoiled boy," she joked as everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to him. "Two cakes in two days."

"Him and Alyssa tore that cake apart last night too," I told her. "I walked in on them eating it straight from the fridge."

"Me too," she said. "I don't really care though. It's one or two nights of it. Jaime would be having a coronary about that if she knew."

"Jaime would be?" I asked her with surprise. "Does she even eat healthy herself?"

"She has lost weight, but she doesn't really worry about herself anyway for that. She just doesn't want Graysen to be overweight, but she's always judging parents who let their kids eat junk food," Ashley explained. "I once mentioned how much Hayden loves crackers and cheese and she went on about processed junk and how lazy I am for giving that to him."

"Isn't she the one that fed the boys all that sugar a year ago? They ended up being too hyper to sleep and then they got sick," I reminded her. "How can she judge other parents?"

"I don't know," Ashley said. "She does though. Mum mentioned us taking him to see her later, and I think it's best if we keep that secret."

I saw that Brianne was watching us. Hayden had blown out the candles by that point and mum was now slicing up the cake and handing a plate to each of the eager kids. I watched as Charles took Michelle by the hand and led her over to sit beside the pool. Was that really happening? They were nine years old. I pointed this out to Ashley who just smiled.

"I think it's cute," she said. "It's just hand holding at their age anyway."

"I just find it odd," I said to her. "It's about as odd as Hayden dating and we were around his age. I just can't wrap my mind around that. Now when I think about it, we were too young for that."

"Yeah I know. I still can't believe I was all worried about not having sex at fifteen," she said.

"Same here," I said and then I pulled her back from the crowd of people. All the adults were trying to get a piece of cake now that the little ones were eating. "Speaking of which, Brianne apparently walked in on us," and I explained what we'd talked about in the living-room.

"She's not worried we're going to divorce or something is she?" Ashley asked me.

"I don't know but it's quite likely that she is. She told me that we have to talk later," I said.

"Well it's no secret that we've been stressing out. I don't think we need to go into detail about last night, but we might as well be open with people about this. I don't want them to think the worst. Our biggest problem is what we've always had issues with. It's our communication with each other, and we always tend to let it get bad like this. We have to stop being scared to talk to each other Ben," Ashley said.

"I agree and we'll talk more about it later," I told her. "We should join the others. Brianne won't take her eyes off of us."

"Better Brianne than Barry," Ashley said and she pulled away from me but she held out her hand to me.

I had to laugh at that as we walked back over to our family and friends. She was right about that one. Brianne would always be subtle about this but Barry wouldn't let it go. We walked over to where all the adults were sitting around the patio table. There was no extra chair left, so I pulled Ashley down on me. I figured this was the best way to show Brianne that things weren't as bad as she was thinking.

For the majority of the afternoon, people were congratulating Minnie and Hayden. The younger kids followed them around most of the day. They of course were the first to go, and this was a big deal to the children. I remembered how I'd felt when Barry had started. Now our children were going. It seemed odd that my oldest kid and his oldest kid were going together.

"Are you taking the younger children with you to Kings Cross?" Mum asked us.

"No," I answered. "We're not even taking Hailey. We're just going to take him and go. We can't let Alyssa and the twins miss their first day of school. If it was in the middle of the week or on a weekend we would let them go for sure."

"It's easier this way anyway," Ashley added. "We can just apparate him to the station and then apparate back to work once the train goes. In a few years it's going to be hectic when all of them are going to Hogwarts but right now we just have one kid."

"It will just be Hayden and Alyssa who will be going to school at the same time won't it be?" Brenda asked.

"Yes but Alyssa will be in her sixth year when Hailey starts her first year. The twins will be in their fourth year," Ashley told her.

"That's hard for me to think about," Jared said who was holding onto Hailey. "I can't imagine her being at Hogwarts."

"We said the same about Minnie and Hayden," Tasha spoke up. "Now tomorrow my first baby is leaving me."

"Mum," Minnie groaned from her spot on the ground. "You need to stop."

"Well I am sorry if I am going to miss my little girl," Tasha said. "I won't see you for three months."

Minnie rolled her eyes and looked at Hayden who was sitting across from her.

"I swear mum has been crying non-stop since the beginning of the week," she said to him.

"Do you see tears on my face?" Tasha asked her. "Goodness, you'd think I was acting hysterical or something. I've just expressed my sadness is all."

"Just keep it to a minimum tomorrow please," Minnie said. "Anyway, don't you have something to tell everybody? It's been hard keeping it secret from Hayden."

Hayden glanced at Minnie and then over at Ashley and me and then looked to the ground. He looked as if he had a smirk on his face. I had to wonder if Ashley had told him. I felt her shift on me and I looked at her. She blushed and looked away.

"You told him," I whispered in her ear.

"By accident," she muttered back.

I just started to laugh which caused a few people to look at me.

"What are you two whispering about?" Michael asked.

"Nothing," Ashley answered. "Nothing at all. I think Minnie is right though Tasha. Why not tell everyone your news?"

"Why don't you tell everyone Minnie?" Barry asked his daughter.

"Really?" Minnie asked excitedly and both Barry and Tasha nodded. Minnie jumped up excitedly. I was sure most people could guess by that point. What else would she be announcing to everyone?

"Mum just found out that she is pregnant!" Minnie said. "So I am going to have another little brother or a sister. Please give me a sister mum. Trevor is a pest."

Trevor stuck his tongue out at her but he was smiling as well.

"I still think you should have twins instead of one baby," Trevor told her. "You should be like Uncle Ben and Aunt Ashley and have twins. I don't know why you didn't give me a twin."

"Well it's not exactly something you can order up mate," Barry told him. "Besides, you have enough energy for two little boys."

"So who else is pregnant then?" Jared suddenly spoke up. "Doesn't this family always have kids at the same time?"

"Not always," I said. "It was Shelly and Ellen and me the last time."

"But you consider yourselves family," Jared said with amusement.

"He does have a point," Darla spoke up with a smile. "I've never once met a group who kept getting pregnant at the same time. Once is a coincidence enough but when it keeps happening it's just odd. I swear it's something about the magic sometimes."

"Well we're trying for another," Brenda spoke up. "But that's it. Unless Brianne has some news she wants to share."

"Not yet anyway," Brianne said. "We'd like another one but we haven't been trying and we don't have any news. We should be congratulating them though, not discussing this."

And she got up to walk over to Tasha which led the others to do the same. Jared was right however. So many of our children were in the same years. It was good for them but I'd never heard of it happening until now. I supposed it wasn't that odd since we were all that age and there were so many of us. I glanced over at Ellen. I knew she was looking to have one more which was surprising. I'd always believed that she only wanted two kids, but then she'd wanted three. Now she wanted four. I wondered why four was suddenly the magical number for everyone when it came to kids. Were they trying to copy Ashley and me or were they trying to be like my parents?

"Next thing we know Ashley's going to be pregnant again," Brenda spoke up with a smile at us. "Maybe you two will have six kids."

Everyone just stared at her. I didn't believe she could be that ignorant on purpose but I didn't understand how she could have forgotten it either. It was Hayden who jumped up and spoke up on our behalf. I was too shocked to be able to say a word and I believed everyone else must have been too. Not even Ellen could say a word to that.

"What's wrong with you?" Hayden asked her angrily as he jumped to his feet. "Why would you say something like that? She can't have anymore kids and you know that!"

"Oh no," Brenda said and her face turned red. "I'm so sorry you two. I forgot. I know I shouldn't have but I did. I feel like a major b word right now. I can't believe I just said that."

She truly did look sorry but I couldn't figure out how she could have forgotten what we'd gone through. I didn't want to tell her off by that point however because she looked completely ashamed of herself.

"How do you forget something like that?" Barry asked her. "You know what they went through."

"I know," Brenda said. "I'm sorry, I was trying to keep things light with us. I wasn't thinking when I said that."

"No you weren't," Minnie said from her spot on the floor. "Even we know that she can't have kids."

I wished she hadn't brought it up either, but for different reasons given what had happened the night before. It was a relief when Michael brought the conversation back to Hogwarts again. What should have been happy news had turned into something tense because of Brenda. I wasn't going to bring it up again to her however. Anyone could see by the look on her face that she felt terrible. I thought she looked close to tears.

Ashley surprised me later on when people had moved on and were into their own conversations by going over to Brenda. She put a hand on her shoulder and said something to her. I wasn't sure what it was but my sister smiled at her and then the two of them hugged. Brianne stepped beside me while I watched this.

"So things can't be too bad between you two after all," she said.

"It's really not what you're thinking," I told her. "We're having a rough time but it's not that bad. We'll most definitely get through it. We're already talking about going on vacation just the two of us. Timmy and June told us last night that they'd like to take the kids again, and so I am considering asking them to take the kids, or at least a couple anyway. I am thinking that we could go to our house in Florida for a week."

"Well you know Nick and me will take the kids too," Brianne reminded me. "You know it's only because I love both you and Ashley that I am so concerned."

"I know it is, and you don't have that much to worry about," I told her. "The two of us just need a break I think. She's so tense and I took my temper out on her last night. I always vowed that I would never yell at her the way I had last night."

No one was paying any attention to us. They were all in their own little groups. Ashley, Ellen and Michael were now with the three toddlers. Shelly was standing with Ashley's parents while they held Mikayla. My parents were talking to Minnie and Hayden and everyone else was scattered about. Charlie and Michelle didn't seem to want to leave each others sides.

"What exactly happened?" Brianne asked. "Why were you so angry with each other."

"You know she's been taking sleeping potions lately? Well I finally just hid them from her and she pulled the controlling card again last night. There was no way I was going to give her a potion when she'd been drinking. It wasn't really about the potions that made us fight, it just led onto something much more. We've been holding back about Halloween for almost three years," I explained to her.

"You two should have taken care of this once you knew Hailey was out of the woods," Brianne told me. "I even told you that this could happen. Remember that? You got all defensive about it. We all believed you should have had a break then but Ashley wouldn't part from Hailey for that long. I'm glad you two are starting to smarten up about this. I don't get why you didn't want to talk about it."

"The last time I needed a break from my family I got told off for it," I reminded her.

"It wasn't because you took a break. It was your attitude," Brianne told me. "Everyone needs a break sometimes. It's only natural and if you two want to go to Florida for a week to work things out, we will all support you. The two of you should have gotten away a long time ago."

"Well we're going to worry about that once we get Hayden settled," I told her.

Ashley was now approaching us.

"Speaking of Hayden," Ashley said as she got closer. "Do you think we should take him over to see Jaime?"

"You can if you want," I told her. "I really just don't want to see her. There is no reason why she couldn't be here today."

"Mum said the same thing," Ashley said. "Well we shouldn't be too long. I'm just going to tell her to meet me at mums so we don't have to walk to her place."

"Wait, are your parents going home now?" I asked as I looked over to where they were talking to Ashley's parents.

"Yes, but your parents are going to take them over," Ashley answered. "We'll be back in a bit. I don't want to be there for too much longer, and we should get home soon anyway. All the kids have to be up early and Hayden promised William that they would have a movie night."

Brianne glanced down at her watch. "Wow I didn't realize it was that late already," she said. "We'll need to get going soon too. I can't believe they're already going back to school tomorrow," and then she stepped forward to give Ashley a hug. Ashley hugged her back looking confused.

"I'm just going to go say good-night to your parents," I told her and walked off to leave them to talk.

They were still talking to my parents when I approached them.

"Ashley said you two were leaving soon," I said to them. "I just wanted to say good-night."

"Good night to you too," Darla said to me. "We need to have dinner at my place soon. It's been a while."

"Maybe in a few weeks we can. William also wants a night at your place soon," I said.

"He told us," Terry told me. "We'll be more than happy to take him overnight. Just tell us when and we'll make sure we don't have plans."

"We're always more than happy to take the kids," Darla added to me. "Even your nieces and nephews. Brenda is bringing Richard over next weekend," and then she looked over to Minnie. "I'm going to miss having her over. I hope she'll still want to visit even once she goes to school."

"I'm sure she will," I assured her.

Minnie has always enjoyed going to Ashley's parents place. All of my nieces and nephews went there as much as our own children did, but Minnie spent a lot of weekends there. I knew she'd gone over a lot even that summer.

"We should say good-bye to her before we go," Terry reminded Darla. "We won't see her until Christmas."

"We'll keep in touch about dinner," Darla said to me before they walked over to say good-bye to Minnie.

I walked back over to the patio table where Barry was sitting. I could hear Minnie reassuring them that she wasn't going to stop going over for a visit.

"I'll still see you on weekends when I am home," she was saying. "I hope you'll be in Florida with us at Christmas break."

"I can't believe how much Minnie loves Ashley's parents," Barry said once I was sitting down.

"Why not?" Jared asked who was on his other side. "They're cool. I've liked them since the moment I met them."

"I know and I like them too," Barry answered with a smile. "It's why I don't mind her going over there. I'm just surprised. She goes over there more than she visits our parents."

"I think it's Terry," I said. "Well, I mean I'm sure it's Darla too but kids have always been drawn to Terry. Even the kids that Ashley used to baby-sit loved him. I wonder why he never had his own kids."

"I feel old knowing that those two are going to school tomorrow," Jared said with a sigh.

"How do you think I feel," Barry said to him. "My baby girl is going tomorrow. We have another on the way. I still remember when we found out Tasha was pregnant with Minnie. Now she's going away to school for months at a time. It's going to be hard tomorrow. I think I am taking it harder than Tasha is."

"Hayden isn't even my kid and it's hitting me," I said.

"Technically he is," Michael said as he joined us. "Blood doesn't make family and you've adopted that kid. You gave him your last name."

"You know what I mean though," I said. "I would have thought it would be different when it's your kid that you held for the first time, and then raised. I feel that way with Minnie too. Ashley and I were just starting sixth year when she was born. I'm sure I'll lose it when Alyssa goes if I'm feeling this way about Hayden."

I watched as Ashley took Hayden by the hand. Moments later they disappeared with a loud pop. Ashley's parents and mine left moments later.

"Where are Ashley and Hayden going?" Ellen asked. "We're going to go now and we wanted to say bye."

"Jaime wanted to say good-bye to Hayden," I explained to her.

"She should have been here today," Barry said. "None of the kids did magic."

"I feel the same way. It's why I let them go on their own. I'll never understand Jaime's view on it," I said.

"Well tell Ashley we'll see her in morning before you lot go. Elliot is getting cranky and Clarissa and Michelle have early bed times," Ellen said. "We'll see all of you later I suppose."

"If you can get Michelle away from her boyfriend long enough," I said.

"He's not her boyfriend, they're just friends," Ellen called as she walked off.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Barry said with amusement.

"You noticed that too?" Michael asked. "They're nine. They aren't supposed to be that way with each other."

"You'd be surprised," Jared said and then he looked at me. "Can we sit down sometime and discuss the age that Hailey is allowed to date? I don't think I could handle that and she is my goddaughter. As her father I am sure you don't want this either."

"She's two," I told him. "It's Alyssa I am worried about at the moment. If Michelle and Charles have a thing going on then Alyssa is capable of that too."

Barry started to laugh. "What can they do at their age? All of you are idiots," and with that he got up and walked off.

"Let's see if he is laughing when Minnie comes home with her first boyfriend," Michael said.

"He'll lose it. He lost it when Brianne had a boyfriend so I imagine he'll be worse with his daughter," I said. "I am not even comfortable with that, and it's my stepson who is the likely culprit."

I sighed and got up to look for my kids. Of course Alyssa was with Mackenzie, Clarissa and Richard. The four of them usually hung out together. I figured it was a good time to start getting them ready to go as well. The twins were sitting with Trevor and playing the same card game that the kids had been playing that morning. I headed over to them first. I figured William and Cameron would be the hardest to convince.

By the time I had the kids rounded up, Ashley and Hayden had returned. I was glad that it had been a quick visit with Jaime.

"Go on and say good-bye to everyone," Ashley told him. "It's time to get going."

"Mummy can we stay up late tonight?" Cameron asked as we walked over to hug her legs.

"It's a school night," she reminded him. "You have to be in bed by eight-thirty."

"Is it eight-thirty now?" He asked her.

"No it's only seven. You have an hour and a half until bed," she told him.

"Me and Hayden are going to watch movies tonight," William said as he joined us.

"Well you have time for one movie," I told him, "and then it will be bed time for you too."

"What about me?" Cameron asked.

"Maybe we'll play that game Jared brought over," Ashley said.

"Yeah!" Alyssa said excitedly. "I almost won last time. I bet I'll beat you mummy."

"I'm sure you will," she said.

We made our way around the deck to say good-bye to everyone. I thanked mum for having us over. She pulled Hayden into a tight hug.

"You be a good at school," mum told him. "We'll miss you and I hope you'll write to us too. We see you as our grandchild too you know."

"I know and I'll write you," Hayden told her.

We took Hayden and Alyssa home first and then we returned for the last three. As we were leaving, so was everyone else. When we returned some of the kids were crying and I was surprised none of ours had been reduced to tears. They always hated to leave their grandparents and the school-aged children weren't happy about going back to school. They hated the early bed times after a long summer of staying up and then sleeping in.

Even though Ellen had thought that she'd be gone before us, she was still there and arguing with Michelle and Clarissa about going home. Ashley and I smiled at each other before we disapparated back home.

We didn't end up talking as we said we would. I'd had every intention in sitting down and talking to her, but I could tell that Ashley was emotional about Hayden. So I decided that it was a conversation that could wait until the kids were all settled in at school. After we'd put the kids to bed, it was another night of just making love. I couldn't help but be glad that we weren't having any problems in that area.

"So much for talking," Ashley said to me when we woke up the next day.

I glanced at her to see if she was angry about this, but it was hard to tell. I didn't think she was sarcastic but I couldn't be so sure. There was a time when I could always tell what she was thinking, but over the last three years she'd learned to close herself off from me. I hated it, I'd preferred when I knew what to expect.

I followed her into the bathroom where she started the water to have a shower.

"We're going to talk," I told her as I helped her take off her nightgown. "You're not upset about that are you?"

"Not really," she answered. "Well I mean in a way I am but not enough for it to ruin my day or for me to be angry with you. It's just that I don't want you to be angry with me anymore."

"I'm not angry anymore," I told her as we got into the shower. "I just needed time to cool down. We'll talk about all that later though."

Ashley laughed. "We've been saying that since yesterday morning. I believe sex keeps getting in the way of the actual talking."

"It's going to get in the way of it right now too," I told her and then kissed her.

I really wasn't angry with her anymore, but that didn't mean we weren't going to talk about the controlling situation or anything else. It was hard for me to stay angry with my wife for too long, even if we had some problems that we needed to work out, and I knew we would. We always managed to work things out.

By the time we were done, I knew the kids would likely be awake. We had alarms set in each of their rooms. So I got dressed quickly while Ashley worked on her hair and makeup. I went into Hailey's room first and it was to find her out of her crib again.

"I think it might be time to get you a big girl bed," I told her as I lifted her up. "You're climbing out of your crib everyday."

"My own bed?" Hailey asked me.

"Yes your own bed. You're not a baby anymore. You don't need to sleep in a crib like a baby anymore," I told her.

For some reason that made me sad. She was the last child we would have that would sleep in a crib. I was used to having a baby around the house but soon enough she'd be in school as well. I wasn't ready for my baby girl to be grown up yet. I already had a step son going to school, and now my youngest no longer needed her crib. Where had the time gone?

I tried not to dwell on any of this as I checked in on the other kids. I was surprised to see that Hayden was helping the twins get ready. I had a feeling that William might have asked him to the night before. Usually the twins would take forever to get changed in the mornings. Neither one was a morning person. Cameron would wear the same clothes everyday if he could. Apparently Graysen was the same way. However, the boys were co-operating that morning, and I decided not to say anything lest I change their minds.

Alyssa was the last one I looked in on. She was already dressed in a new dress Ashley had bought her, and she was taking her time with brushing her hair. She liked to pretend that she was putting on makeup too. I was surprised to see that for once, all five of my kids were awake and ready for school. I couldn't remember a time when we didn't have to make all the kids get out of bed. It was the first day of school, they were supposed to be fighting it.

"It looks like it will be an easy morning," I said to Hailey as I headed down the steps. "Everyone is all ready."

"Me too," she said. "I hungry daddy."

"I am too," I told her. "So we'll go make breakfast."

By the time I was done making breakfast, all the kids and Ashley were downstairs. I could hear Alyssa arguing about wanting to see Hayden off. I could understand her point, and if it wasn't for the fact that it was a Monday and the first day of school we'd let the kids go. However, we couldn't let them miss their own first day of school.

"We're going to miss Hayden," William said.

"I know you will, we will as well," Ashley said. "You have time before the bus gets here. So spend some quality time with until it's time. You can say your good-byes now."

"And I'll stand outside at the bus stop with you," Hayden said.

"You have your trunk packed don't you?" I asked Hayden.

It was something my parents used to ask me every September first and I couldn't believe I was asking it now. Hayden nodded at me.

"I repacked it last night with some of my new birthday presents. I have everything I need," he said. "You can check if you don't believe me."

"We believe you," Ashley told him.

We didn't have to be in for work until after we dropped Hayden off, so we were able to spend the morning with him at least. As we got the kids ready for the bus, I could tell that all three were close to tears. They didn't want to say good-bye to their big brother. Alyssa was the first one to start crying, but it wasn't long before the twins began to cry too.

"We don't want you to go," Alyssa told him. "Please stay home for another year."

"I have to go," Hayden told her. "It won't be long until you'll see me again."

"Christmas," Cameron said.

After that, once the bus came to get the kids, it was hard to convince them to get on. It wasn't just our children, but Ellen's kids were tearing up as well. Hayden hugged each kid before they climbed on the bus. Usually they hung out the window to say bye to us, but Ashley, Hailey and me were forgotten as all the kids called out to Hayden.

"It seems weird not to be on it," Hayden said as the bus drove off.

"But you get to get on the Hogwarts Express today," I told him. "Hogwarts is exciting. This time tomorrow you'll be getting ready for your first class. I hope you'll spare us some thought tonight to let us know where you are sorted at least."

"I will," he said. "I'll take my message parchment into the Great Hall with me."

He turned to lift up Hailey. She was the only one who hadn't shed a tear, but she also didn't understand that Hayden was leaving. I was sure soon enough she would notice his absence.

"So what time are you dropping Hailey off at?" Ellen asked us.

"Around ten-thirty," Ashley told her. "We're just going to apparate him to the station and then we're going to work."

"Well in case I don't see you later," Ellen said and she walked over to hug Hayden. "Have a good term at school. I have to get back inside. I left Elliot inside in front of the telly. Who knows if he is still watching it. He could be into the knives by now."

Ashley pulled Hayden close to her side and we headed back into the house.


	6. Chapter 6

I turned to see Minnie running towards me. We had just apparated to platform nine and three quarters at Kings Cross Station and were now standing near the Hogwarts Express. It had been hard to see anyone because the smoke from the train was so thick. Ashley and Ben were just talking about a compartment that they usually got for themselves when we heard Minnie calling for us. In the distance we could kind of make out Barrie and Tasha.

"Come on! We already have a compartment on the train," Minnie said as soon as she reached us. "Marco and Andrew made sure to get it for us."

"You come give us a hug first," Ben told Minnie who did so without hesitation.

I wasn't so sure about hugging them good-bye because I worried it would seem childish. However around me, I could see people even older than me who were hugging their parents or guardians. So I stepped into Ashley's opened arms and hugged her tightly. I was sure she was trying her hardest not to cry. I'd asked her the night before not to because I knew it was emotional for her.

That morning I had actually felt that it wasn't fair when they'd sent the kids to school, but now I was relieved. All of them, even Ellen's kids had been in tears at the bus stop. I was glad that it had happened at home and not here. I didn't want the drama. At least, when it was just Ashley and Ben I would get a hug and that was it. No one was going to be crying until the train left.

"Where is the compartment, Minnie?" Ben asked after I gave him a hug.

"Just down here," she told him. "We're going to try and do what you used to and get the same compartment every year."

I knew that Ashley and Ben had actually been hoping that we'd get their old compartment, but my friends had gotten here first. Minnie ran back over to where her parents were standing and we all followed her. Once we reached her parents, she pointed to a window in the train where Andrew and Cassidy were leaning out of.

"Hayden come on!" Andrew shouted. "We've been waiting for you."

I watched as Ben levitated my trunk and then carried it on the train for me. While he did this, both Barry and Tasha came over to give me a hug as well. As soon as they finished, I turned to Ashley and gave her one more hug. My mother should have been standing on the platform with Ben and Ashley but she wasn't. I felt a little resentment about this but I didn't want it to ruin my day. I had to admit, I'd had some hope that she would turn up that day.

"Well I'm going to board now," I told her as Ben stepped off the train and Minnie hurried on.

"Go on," Ashley told me.

I couldn't believe I was finally going on the train. I'd heard so many stories about it, but to me, it seemed just a story and something that I would have to wait forever to experience. Now I was actually in the train that every adult in my life had always talked about. Even Ashley's mum had told me about the train. Minnie was waiting outside the compartment for me.

"Hurry Hayden," she said. "The train is probably going to go soon. We have to wave good-bye to all our parents."

In our compartment, I found that Craig, Cynthia, Judy and Colin were there too. I hoped that I would be able to get a spot beside Cynthia. I stepped up the window to see that most of our parents were all standing together now. Tasha already had tears streaming down her cheeks but thankfully Ashley didn't. We had a few minutes to say some last minute good-byes before the train suddenly lurched forward. It started to move slowly at first and then it started to speed up. I could only see the group of parents momentarily but soon they were left behind us.

"Finally," Craig said as he sat down again. "I've been counting down the days since our last day of school. We're finally going."

"Did your mum make a big deal about today?" Minnie asked Andrew as we all found seats.

"Of course, she did," Andrew said and he rolled his eyes. "She told me that eleven is too young to be going away. She said she wasn't so sure about sending me away for magic and that wizarding people didn't know what they were doing by sending us away so young."

I was disappointed because I hadn't managed to get a seat beside Cynthia. Cassidy and Judy had instantly taken a seat on either side of her. I was between Minnie and Colin. She was however across from me, though, so I figured that was as good as it could get it. At least, we could see each other better this way.

"I've always been surprised that your mum actually let you go to primary school," Marco said. "She seems against magic."

"She's not against magic. She's happy that my sister and I have powers and she wants us to learn to control them. She just thinks Hogwarts should be the same as the Primary school," Andrew answered. "She wants for me to still come home every day. I'm just glad dad made her leave right away today. I'm sure she would have put on a scene."

"It's why I am glad Ashley and Ben made the younger kids go to school today anyway," I said. "They were all crying this morning, but I am sure they would have caused some kind of scene at the station."

"But we're finally on our way. Soon we're all going to be sorted and everything," Minnie said. "Tomorrow we'll finally learn to do magic."

"Are we still going to bet who is going to end up where?" Judy asked.

We'd decided at my pool party that on the train we'd put in our bets about our where our friends would end up. We weren't allowed to vote for ourselves and we couldn't even say it out loud either. We were going to write it down and then look at it tomorrow. Whoever had the most right would win the pot. It was a sickle each to play.

"Yes," Colin said automatically. "I already have the parchment ready and the box. No one is allowed to look at this again until tomorrow. The box will only open at my touch. I have some pencils too. It's easier than using a quill."

He got up and climbed up on his seat to open his trunk. He pulled out parchment, a box and some muggle pencils. He climbed down and sat back down again looking satisfied.

"Well that's not fair then," Cassidy said. "You can end up looking at it tonight. You might try to change your answers. You've done that before."

Colin just smiled at her. "Nope. I am going to give the box to one of you. We'll decide later who will hold on to, but for now, let's do this."

He handed us each a sheet of parchment. I couldn't help but find it funny about how serious they were all taking this. It was just a game after all. I didn't really care if I won or not.

"Wait, are we just doing this for everyone in the compartment or for other people in our year?" Cynthia asked.

"Well I don't want to do it for everybody in our year," Craig said. "Some people I don't really care and others are just obvious."

"I was just meaning for anyone else we talk to," Cynthia said. "Maybe for Hannah, Patrick-"

"Well someone should just make a quick list and then we'll copy," Minnie interrupted. "We don't need to do everyone but maybe just the people who were at the party. Do you remember everyone we invited Hayden?"

"Basically," I said. "But some of you will have to help if I leave anyone out."

I started out a list of people. While I was writing them all down, I wished that I knew the duplicating charm that Ashley often used. I didn't even know if it was a first-year spell. I had over twenty names by the time I was done. It felt more like work than a fun game now. It was quiet in the compartment while everyone scribbled down the names and their houses.

Minnie was an easy one to guess. I was sure everyone would choose Ravenclaw for her. I had to wonder which house everyone would place me in. I figured for sure Cynthia would be Ravenclaw or Gryffindor but I felt that Gryffindor was the better choice, so I wrote down that down. It likely took over ten minutes before we were all done.

"Put them in the box," Craig said happily and he passed around what looked like a shoe box.

"I had my dad charm it for me," Craig explained to me as he knew what I was thinking. "You'll never know when something like this will come in handy. As soon as I put the lid on, it won't open for anyone else but me. I've already tested it to make sure that he did the charm right."

I wondered what charm that was and if I could get Ashley to do the same for me. I was sure she would know how to do it as well. It seemed like a good idea. I could perhaps store letters from my mother in it, and no one could read them or anything else. It would be a good thing to have around for when I was at home. The kids wouldn't be able to get into my things.

Once we were all done this, Craig placed the lid on the box and then handed it over to me.

"Try opening it Hoofer," he told me.

I tried to open it, but the lid wouldn't come off no matter how hard I tried. Minnie leaned over to try as well but it would open for her. Craig leaned forward and lifted the lid off without a problem.

"That's brilliant!" Andrew said. "I've got to get myself one of those."

"I'm going to write to Ashley to see if she'll make me something like that," I said.

"Me too," Minnie said to me. "I'm sure she won't mind doing that for both of us."

"I could always get dad to do that," Craig said with a smirk. "No one is as good at charms as my dad is."

I felt annoyed when he said this, and not only because my godmother was one of the best at it. I just couldn't handle his arrogance at times. It was why I tolerated him as a part of our group but I didn't count him as a friend but an acquaintance. I would always talk to him, but I rarely sought him out on my own.

"Aunty Ashley is one of the best," Minnie told him. "She works in experimental charms and she even gives the Weasley's some help with charms. She's the one who helped them redo the message parchments."

"Oh," Craig said but then he shrugged. "Well dad could have worked there but he chose another career path. Anyway, if anyone wants help with it. He'll help out too."

"So who is going to take the box?" Cassidy asked.

"We'll just vote for that," Judy said. "Whoever gets those most votes get to take the box. Everyone can close their eyes and Craig will keep his open. That way no one can get offended if someone doesn't vote for them."

So that's what we ended up doing. Cynthia ended up winning that vote. She looked very pleased as she took the box which I still had. She stood up on the seat to put it in her trunk. I couldn't help but notice how good she looked that day. She'd obviously taken her time that day. She was wearing a short white skirt with white shoes that had a platform on them and a pink t-shirt. She had styled up her hair and she was wearing some make-up.

"So when are we going to meet up tomorrow?" Andrew asked. "We'll likely all be in different houses and we'll have classes."

"Lunch will be the best time," I answered. "After we eat we can meet up in the courtyard. Anyway, I have a game that Jared wanted me to teach you lot. He invented it and he is trying to get financial backing to make a lot of copies of it. He has to test it on kids first to see if we like it or not. I figured today would be the best time to do it."

"I'm sure we'll like it, Denny," Cynthia told me.

I smiled at her and I stood up to get the game from my trunk. I'd made sure to place it on top of my school robes. We would have to change into them later on. I'd hoped that everyone would agree to play the game. No one seemed to have any arguments against it. I sat back down and quickly explained it to them. I'd thought it was fun when I'd played it with the kids, but I figured it would be more fun with my classmates.

After a few rounds, they seemed to enjoy it a lot, even Colin who usually had a complaint about everything. The girls even enjoyed it and I thought the game would likely be more fun for blokes than girls. It was an easy game to pick up and it kept us busy for a good part of the ride. Throughout the first half of the ride, people came in to say hi to us, and some expressed interest in playing. I couldn't wait to write back to Jared to let him know how it went.

We were interrupted when a witch came with a trolley cart full of snacks. I remembered Ben and Michael telling me that this was the best part of the ride. She mostly sold junk food and Hogwarts students usually stocked up on it. My friends and I weren't any different. I wasn't a fan of every flavour beans but I did like chocolate frogs and cauldron cakes.

At the day went on, the prefects and the heads checked in on us.

"I remember her from when we were in Primary one!" Judy said after the Head Girl left. "It's kind of odd to realize but all the seventh years were in Primary seven when we were in Primary one."

"And all the Primary one students last year will be in first-year when we're in seventh-year," Colin told her.

"The twins will be in first-year when I am in seventh-year," I said. "That's strange to think about. I can't imagine them being my age."

"So will Trevor," Minnie said. "I wonder if it's odd for them to see us starting Hogwarts now. Most of them volunteered to look after us back then."

"They'll still see as little kids, though," Andrew said. "The older years always see first and second years as kids. We've gone from being the oldest to the youngest again."

I hadn't thought about that. It had been one of my favourite things about being in primary seven. Not only were we leaving for Hogwarts soon, but we were the oldest as well. We'd been given more responsibilities and they'd actually taken us seriously. We weren't treated like little kids anymore. That was going to change once we got to school. We would have prefects after us all the time, and we'd be seen as the pesky kids again.

Soon enough we were all changing into our robes after a fifth-year prefect instructed us to do. Most people had gone back to their compartments by then. Shortly after that, the train started to slow down and then eventually it came to a thought. I noticed a change in my friends once the train stopped. Moments ago we'd all been excited, but now we were all quiet, and several people had nervous looks on their faces. There had been an announcement informing all first years to leave their trunks behind on the train.

I made sure to pocket my message parchment, however. Ashley and Ben would be waiting eagerly to hear where I'd be sorted. For the first time, I actually felt nervous as well. All summer I'd been eager but now that I knew soon I'd be in front of the whole school, I was scared. I knew it was a silly fear, but what if the hat truly did tell me that I didn't belong anywhere? What if it told me that I had to go home?

I kept close to my group as we left the train. We could hear someone calling for the first years, and I wondered if that was Hagrid. I didn't have to wonder for long. I could see a larger man than average holding up a lantern. Several of our classmates had already formed a group around him. Once we were all there, he led us away from the older students.

I knew we were going to be going in boats to the castle. Ashley and Ben had told me enough about the sight. However hearing about it and seeing it were two different things. I gasped with everyone else when I saw the huge castle sitting up on the mountain across the lake. It must have been amazing for Ashley and Michael to see for the first time.

I couldn't take my eyes off it. I followed Minnie and Andrew to a boat, and to my delight, Cynthia clambered into the boat behind me. I felt even happier when she clutched my arm when the boats moved forward on their own. Hagrid took up one boat on his own. Some people were leaning over to see if they could see a glimpse of the giant squid, but I wanted to keep my eyes on the castle. This would be my home for the next seven years.

Once we were out the boats, Hagrid led us straight to some castle steps. Outside, a witch was waiting at the doors for us.

"The firs' years Professor Gretskin," he said to her.

"Thank you Hagrid," she said. "Come on you lot," she added to us. "Let's go inside."

She opened both doors at the same time and led us into the Entrance Hall. I could see the hour glasses that kept track of the house points. I was sure I would be following the yellow one soon enough. We were led past a door where several voices were coming out of and into another door. This was a much smaller room.

She began by welcoming us to Hogwarts and then she explained the four houses to us, and then she left. I noticed that most people seemed to be standing closer to each other than they usually would. This brought me back to when Ashley and Ben told me about their first meeting. Apparently Ashley had leaned against Ben in fright. They hadn't put two and two together until the next day I believed.

I looked around to see if I could find Cynthia. I'd lost track of her once we'd entered the castle, but I didn't see here anywhere. The room was really dark, however. I could only make out most people's figures. I didn't even seen Minnie anywhere, and I thought for sure she would have stuck by my side. I noticed that Andrew and Craig weren't too far from me. Most people were whispering to each other about the sorting. This would be the last time we'd all stand together as one. Soon enough we'd be divided, and people would be defining themselves by their houses.

Professor Gretskin returned moments later and told us to form a line, and then beckoned for us to follow. I followed behind Andrew. We entered the large Great Hall which was lit by thousands of candles floating overhead. There were four houses tables and one teachers table. It actually put me in mind of the primary school but with fewer tables. At the primary school, it had been arranged the same except by year.

We were led to stand in front of the teachers table and behind a stool with the sorting hat on it. Ashley had told me that it was burnt, and now I could see what she meant by that. I knew it had been set on fire by you-know-who. I wondered how it had managed to survive that. It must have had a lot of powerful magic on it.

I felt nervous as I looked around the Great Hall. Everyone's eyes were on us. I recognized some of the older years. I could see Teddy Lupin sitting at the Hufflepuff table. It would be brilliant to share a house with the famous godson of Harry Potter. We had some things in common. We had both been accepted into a family not our own. Of course, his parents had died in the Battle, and they'd loved him but I still felt I could relate to him well. I'd never talked to him when I'd been in primary school, but perhaps we'd get to know each other once we shared a house.

The Great Hall seemed eerily quiet for a place that had so many people in it. However, moments later the hat began to sing a song about the four houses. I tried to remember everything it said so I could tell Alyssa but I was too nervous to really pay attention to it. Once the hat was done singing, Professor Gretskin stepped up and called out the first name. I hated being in the H's and although I was happy that I had my godparents last name, for a moment I wished I still had my old last name. It had been in the A's back then. I'd be already sorted by this point.

For some people like Colleen, who was sorted into Gryffindor, the hat was quick but for others, it took it's time. With Craig, it seemed the hat stayed on his head for a good minute before it finally put him in Gryffindor too. I was relieved when I was finally called up.

"Hoofer, Hayden!" Professor Gretskin said.

I hurried over to the stool and climbed on quickly. She dropped the hat on my head as soon as I was seated.

"Another Hoofer huh?" I heard in my ear. "But you're not a true Hoofer are you? Still, you come from a great family and I can see great things from you. I remember sorting your godparents and I know they went on to do great things. Now where to put you? I see you have a lot of potential and you would do well anywhere. However, I believe the best house for you is: GRYFFINDOR!"

I was shocked. Many people had told me that I would make a good Gryffindor but I'd never expected it. I took off the hat and handed it back to the teacher before I hopped off the stool. I looked back at my remaining classmates to find Minnie. She would be sorted after me. She smiled and gave me the thumbs up. Was there a good chance she could join me in Gryffindor too? Hermione Weasley had been sorted there even though most people thought she should have been in Ravenclaw.

I hurried to the table one the right that was clapping for me. I took a seat beside Craig. If I'd had to choose my housemates, it wouldn't have been Colleen or Craig. Now I would be stuck with Craig. I would never tell him to go away. Who knows? Maybe we'd end up becoming better friends. Sometimes I thought his arrogance was just an act.

"Hoofer, Minnie!"

I glanced back up to watch my best friend get sorted. The hat was on her head for a long time before it finally called out: "RAVENCLAW!"

She sent me a sad glance and then handed the hat over to Professor Gretskin before she walked to the clapping table beside my own. I wondered if she'd argued with the hat about letting her come to Gryffindor with me. I waited for Craig to make a smart arse comment about it but he didn't say a word. I glanced at Colleen and noticed she was smirking about this, however. I ignored her and pulled out my message parchment. I knew Ashley and Ben would be waiting for my response. I didn't have a quill on me but I had the muggle pencil from the train. I wasn't sure if it would work but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

Gryffindor I wrote down after I'd written their numbers down.

I waited a minute and saw that my writing disappeared. God to know. I thought to myself. It seemed that any kind of writing tool would work on the message parchment.

Congratulations Hayden. We are so proud of you. I know you'll love it in Gryffindor. Where was Minnie sorted?

It was Ashley who had responded to me.

Ravenclaw of course. I think she's disappointed that she wasn't sorted with me, though. I think there's a chance that she even asked the hat to put her in Gryffindor too, but it put her in Ravenclaw instead. Her sorting took a good while.

I continued to write to Ashley for the rest of the sorting. When it was over, I put my parchment back in my pocket and took a look around at my fellow first years. A few faces I didn't even recognize so they must have been the people who hadn't gone to the primary school. I was happy to see that Andrew had been sorted with me as well. No one else from our group on the train had been sorted into Gryffindor with me. I wondered what house Cynthia had gone to. I couldn't see her sorted in Ravenclaw so it was likely to be Hufflepuff.

I turned in my seat to check. Minnie was now staring ahead at the teachers table where the Headmistress was making an announcement. Most people were focused on her, so I took advantage of their distraction to find out where the others had gone. Sure enough, there was Cynthia at Hufflepuff table. I sighed with disappointment. The two girls who I'd wanted to be with were in different houses. I was glad to be with Andrew, and later on, I'd grow to appreciate Craig.

The golden plates in front of us suddenly filled up with food.

"Looks like you and your little girlfriend are in different houses," Colleen said to me. "What a shame."

"Shut up Colleen!"

To my surprise, it was Craig who had spoken up for me. I glanced over at him with shock.

"Why? Did you want Minnie in Gryffindor too?" Colleen asked him in a condescending tone.

"I just don't see the point in you being a bitch about it," Craig told her.

"What's up with you?" I asked Craig in a quiet voice.

I wasn't sure why he was letting her get to him so much. She truly was a bitch but it was better just to ignore most of the time. I'd planned to tell her to shut up and to leave it at that, but Craig seemed ready to actually get in a fight with her. I didn't think it was a good idea for a couple of first years to fight the first night here, especially ones in the same house.

"Didn't you notice where Colin and Judy ended up?" He asked me.

"No, where did they end up?" I asked.

"Slytherin," Craig to me.

I understood now his mood. Colin was Craig's best friend and Judy was a part of our group.

"You don't honestly believe that Slytherin's and Gryffindors can't still be friends right?" Andrew asked Craig. "Things are different since our parents came here."

"Exactly," I told him. "I think Minnie and Cynthia are right. We can't let a sorting affect us this way."

"Does everyone here already know each other?" A girl across from us asked.

"We went to primary school together," Andrew told her. "Are you muggle born?"

The girl nodded. "Yes and I even noticed on the train that people knew each other. I figured people wouldn't have met yet. As far as I know, I'm the only witch in my town."

"Well, there is a magical primary school," I told her. "That's how we all know each other."

"And this lot you want to stay away from," Colleen told her and then she looked at Craig. "I think it's fitting that Colin would end up in Slytherin. I think it's funny that your group was sorted in different houses."

"Well it was expected Colleen," I said, "and I notice you're not in the same house as any of your friends."

"Probably because she has none," Craig muttered.

"We shouldn't be fighting on our first night," a girl named Violet said. "We're all Gryffindor's here and we should be sticking together."

"Tell that to Colleen," Andrew said to her. "She's the one who is trying to start things," and then he looked at the new girl. "So what's your name? It's a shame you weren't at the primary school with us. It was fun."

"My name is Rebecca but I go by Becky," she told him. "And mum always knew about Hogwarts, so I'm going to have to ask her about the primary school. She must have known about it. Professor Gretskin, the teacher at our sorting was the one who came to talk my family about it but mum wasn't surprised to see her."

"Well, representatives from each school visit muggle born parents," a girl named Emily spoke up. "A few months before kids start at the Primary school, the deputy Headmistress visits each muggle borns home. Parents have the option to send their children or keep them at home. It's the same with Hogwarts."

"Well I am writing to mum about it tomorrow," Becky said looking annoyed now. "It would have made life easier for me if I could have gone to the primary school. The kids at my school noticed things about me and made fun of me. I can't believe mum is letting me come here but she didn't let me go to the other school."

When we were all done eating, the fifth year prefects called out to the first years to follow them. Again, I couldn't help but feel a little resentment that we were back to the bottom. We would have all of the older students looking after us as if we were primary one students again. We'd been given so many responsibilities the year before. We'd been the ones who had to look after the youngest students, but now none of that mattered anymore.

I knew for the first day of school, we needed someone to lead us around since we didn't know Hogwarts too well. However, I hoped they would leave us alone after the first week. I just doubted that would happen.

As we followed the prefects, they pointed out different portraits for us to remember in case we got lost. As we went on, I could understand why they were showing us the little things. Trying to remember the corridors was actually confusing and I felt like we were going through a maze, especially since the staircases moved on their own. How did people remember the ways around the castles? I remember Ashley telling me when she'd go through jobs through the corridors, but how did she find her way back to the common room? From what the prefects told us, just because a corridor led one way one day, it didn't mean it would another day.

It seemed to take forever before we were finally standing in front a portrait of a fat lady.

"Password is: blubbering," the female prefect told us.

The portrait swung open and we had to climb up to get into the hole. A few people had trouble getting in on their own. I couldn't help but smile when one of Colleen's high heels fell off and she stumbled.

"Guess you should have worn the right shoes," I told her.

She glared at me, grabbed her shoe and hurried forward. A few other people were laughing at her as well. Once we were inside the common room, I took a good look around. It was a huge rounded room with a different assortment of furniture around the room. I quite liked it a lot. I knew we were in one of the towers.

"Girls dormitories are to the right, and the boys are to the left," the girl prefect said. "Girls, I believe that your dorms are on the second floor. That is where the seventh year dorms were last year."

"Boys, your dorms are on the fifth floor," the boy prefect said. "All of your trunks have already been brought. Whichever bed has your trunk in front of it will be your bed for the next seven years. Classes start early tomorrow, so I recommend you go up to bed. You don't want to be late. We don't want points lost on our first day back; so be on time. They're a bit more lenient for first years, but Gryffindor has won the house cup for the last three years. We don't want any firsties to ruin that for us."

I saw Craig roll his eyes and I had to refrain from doing it myself. We'd expected that the prefects would treat us this way, but I felt he was going overboard. Couldn't he remember being a first year himself? I was sure I recognized our prefects but I wasn't so sure if I did or not. It had been years since I'd seen either one of them.

"I get the feeling Maverick is going to be on our case all the time," Craig told me as soon as we were able to go up to our dorm. "He's one of those people who abuses his power."

The name sounded familiar and I vaguely recalled a boy who had watched over us during our indoor breaks. He used to yell at us for being too loud when we played. It wasn't too much of a surprise to me that he'd been made a prefect now that I remembered him. I'd heard stories about parties in the common room, and I wondered if he'd be the type to put a stop to them.

"I wonder how Marco is taking the fact that he was sorted in Hufflepuff," Andrew said. "He was so insistent that he'd be a Gryffindor."

"I was so sure I'd be Hufflepuff," I said.

"I've never understood why," Craig said.

We found our dormitory on the fourth floor, just as Maverick said we would. We stepped into a round room where seven beds were in a circle, each against the wall. I was glad to see that my bed was right beside one of the windows.

"Just because your godparents were there, it doesn't mean you would be," Craig continued. "I actually wrote you down for Gryffindor on my list."

For some stroke of luck, the three of us had our beds next to each other. Perhaps whoever had brought our trunks up had noticed that they'd all been in the same compartment on the train. The other boys weren't paying much attention to us. Two of the boys we knew from school and the other two we didn't. I still found it strange that parents hadn't wanted their kids to go to the primary school. I felt bad for the girl named Becky. She was likely feeling lonely. I just hoped she wouldn't become friends with Colleen.

"I wonder who won that," Andrew said. "I don't think it was me. I got a lot of people wrong."

"It wasn't me either," I said. "I guess we'll find out tomorrow at lunch, though."

"Still can't believe Judy and Colin are in Slytherin," Craig muttered as he climbed into bed without changing.

Andrew and I looked at each other and shrugged. I just grabbed my pajamas and headed into the bathroom. I couldn't wait to fall asleep and start classes.

Our girl prefect, who I found out was named Janet was waiting for all of us the next morning. I was relieved about this. I knew sometimes that the first years had to try and find their way back on their own. I was just glad that Maverick wasn't there. I didn't feel like listening to his lecturing that morning. As we headed down to the Great Hall, I did my best to try and remember the way there. I didn't want someone always leading us, and I definitely didn't want to get lost.

I noticed that Colleen and Becky were in deep conversation. Looks like she's gone over to the dark side I couldn't help but think. I nudged Andrew to point this out to him. He nodded but didn't say anything. I was sure he was thinking the same thing that I was.

It didn't seem to take us as long to get to the Great Hall that morning. Perhaps in my tired state the night before, it had seemed longer to get to the dorms. I was feeling extremely hungry that morning, and the welcome sight of all the food on the table made me hungrier. All of the first years sat together to eat. Ashley had told me that it would be like this at the beginning, but after a while, people would be sitting in their own groups.

While we ate we were handed our timetables by Neville Longbottom, or Professor Longbottom from that moment on. I knew that he was one of the war heroes and I was surprised that he'd want to settle down as Herbology teacher instead of being an Auror like Harry Potter.

"Welcome first years," he said after he handed us our schedules. "I am your Head of House. So if you have any problems that you can't go to the prefects for, I am your man. I look forward to getting to know all of you. For those of you who don't know. I am Professor Longbottom and I am your Herbology teacher as well. You'll have my class after lunch."

I glanced down at my schedule to see that we had Transfiguration first. I was disappointed to see that I didn't have a course with Minnie until later on. I would have to wait until lunch before we could talk to each other. I glanced over at the Ravenclaw table to see her talking to Cassidy. At least one of her best friends was with her. We all seemed to have lucked out on that one.

"Let's just try and find the Transfiguration class on our own yeah?" Craig asked me and he nodded at Colleen, Becky and another girl Mallory who were sitting together.

"Fine by me," I said.

We ate quickly and then left the Great Hall on our own. I was glad that our first class of the day would be one that we'd be doing magic in. As we made our way through the corridors, I couldn't help but think about mum. I planned to write to her later that night. I wanted to let her know how my sorting went and my first day of classes. I stayed quiet while Andrew and Craig discussed what we would be doing in class. I already knew we'd be switching a match into a pin, but I didn't say anything.

I was surprised that we'd managed to find the classroom no problem. I hoped that our good luck would remain for the rest of the day. Although I didn't take Maverick seriously, I didn't want to be the one to lose points for Gryffindor. The three of us decided to take a seat at the front of the class. It wasn't long after we were seated that the others started to trickle in as well.

Professor Deplacer began the class by handing out a box.

"Please place your message parchments in the box. You can have them back at the end of the class. If you do not hand it in, I will find out," she told us.

I felt annoyed by this. I had been hoping to use some classes to take the opportunity to write to people. Many other people weren't upset about this as well. There was some grumbling as each person handed it in. I hadn't even had the chance to check mine by that point. Once all the message parchments were handed in, she began the lesson. As I had suspected, we had to turn a match into a pin.

I'd believed that it would be easy work, but by the end of the class, no one had managed to do it. I figured Minnie would be one of those people who would be able to do it. I just hoped I wouldn't be one of the last to get it. All the adults in my life had told me that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses when it came to magic. I just hoped I would be good at something.

It turned out that we had to hand in our message parchment in at the beginning of every class. I wondered if Ashley knew that they did this. By the time lunch rolled around, people expected this. I was just relieved to get to lunch. While we ate, I pulled out my parchment to check and see if I had any messages. As it turned out, there were a lot of them. Most were good lucks and congratulations from the adults, including Jaime. I was surprised to see that she'd written to me. She normally didn't have much to do with our lives. Even Alyssa had written to me.

Hayden. I hope you have fun at Hogwarts. We miss you already. Hailey was looking for you last night. I asked my teacher yesterday how many days until I see you. We will see you in 109 days.

"109 days," I muttered as I put my parchment away. I would write to everyone later.

"Until what?" Andrew asked.

"Until we go home," I told him. "Alyssa asked her teacher how long it would be. I'm sure they'll be checking off a calendar everyday."

"Seems like a lot when you put it that way," Craig said. "Anyway, we should go meet everyone out in the courtyard."

"Ooh, Hayden will finally get to see his little girlfriend," Colleen said. "They haven't seen each other for over twelve hours."

Becky and Mallory giggled. Apparently they wanted to be part of her little gang. I saw Andrew shoot a glare at Becky before we got up. I had to wonder why it seemed to bother him so much. They barely knew each other, and she had to become friends with someone. It only made sense it would be with the girls in her dormitory. I was just surprised that Mallory was talking to her. I didn't think they had gotten along too well in primary school.

I didn't say a word. I just finished what I could for lunch, and then we went out to the courtyard. We found Minnie, Cassidy, Marco and Cynthia were already waiting for us. They were sitting on a bench. Cassidy had the box sitting on her lap. The four of them didn't notice us approaching. They appeared to be in conversation and when we got closer we could hear that it was about their classes.

"Hayden!" Minnie said excitedly when we finally reached them. "I told you that you'd be in Gryffindor. I even voted that you would be there."

"So did I," Cynthia told me.

"I wonder who won," Marco said. "I don't think that it was me. I got several people wrong. I certainly didn't expect that Colin or Judy would be in Slytherin."

"Has anyone seen them yet?" Craig asked as he reached out to take the box from Judy.

"We had Potions with the Slytherins," Marco said. "Colin seems happy about it, but Judy isn't at all. I guess she was crying most of the night. Her dorm mates were trying to cheer her up. Colin said he'd be here."

"We have Herbology with them," I said.

"And we have Charm's together," Minnie said to me. "Can we sit together?"

"Of course," I told her.

I wanted to talk to her anyway. I wanted to know what went on with her sorting the night before. While we waited for the Slytherin's, Craig and Andrew filled the others in on Colleen.

"It's a shame because Becky seemed like a nice girl," Andrew was saying.

"Do you have a crush on this girl or something?" Craig asked him. "She is quite cute but you knew her two seconds."

"Very funny," Andrew told him. "No, I just think it's a shame. With the exception of Colleen, I just wanted to get along with the people we're sharing a common room with for seven years. It's not the same as primary school. It was easy to ignore each other if we wanted to. It's just I can see the girl being easily influenced by her. Don't even start me on Mallory. I thought they hated each other."

"Well maybe like you, they just want to get along with their dorm mates for the next seven years," Minnie said. "I have to say that I'm glad I'm not in the same house as her."

Colin and Judy arrived just as Minnie was saying that. One glance at Judy told me that she was definitely unhappy with her sorting. She looked exhausted and her eyes were red. Had she been crying all day about it as well?

"So let's see who is eight sickles richer," Colin said with a smile.

Judy gave us a weak smile but she didn't say anything. Craig lifted the lid off the box and read through each seat.

"Well it looks like Minnie is the winner," he finally said. "If anyone wants to double check they can."

Colin reached for the parchments but gave a small shrug as he glanced through each one.

"Minnie is the winner," he agreed and he reached into his pocket to pull out a sickle.

Minnie grinned widely as each person dropped a sickle into her open handed. Once everyone had given her one, she pocketed it. Afterwards she glanced at Judy and Colin.

"So how is it like in Slytherin house?" She asked.

It appeared to be the wrong thing to say, at least in Judy's case. She burst into tears while Colin rolled his eyes at her and shook his head.

"Oh come on Judy," Cassidy said. "It can't be that bad there."

"I was never meant to be a Slytherin," she said as she wiped at her face.

"Well crying about it isn't going to change anything," Colin told her and then he looked at Minnie. "It's actually quite cool. We're underneath the lake so it looks kind of green in there. Sometimes you can see some of the marine life through the windows. I like it and with the exception of a few people, our housemates are great."

"So you're okay there?" Craig asked him.

"Yes. I mean at first I was like Judy... well I mean I wasn't bawling my eyes out," and he shot her an annoyed look, "but I wasn't happy. Now I am and Patrick is with me and so is Albert. Once we got into the common room, I knew that I was in the right house. I kind of figured you'd be in Gryffindor Craig, you too Hayden."

"I thought I'd be Hufflepuff," I said, "but I really like Gryffindor a lot."

"I assumed you'd be Gryffindor Denny," Cynthia spoke up. "The hat almost put me there too, but in the end, it decided I'd work better in Hufflepuff," and she gave a small shrug. "I love it. Our dorms are in tunnels. We also have to knock a certain way to get in the common room or else we'll get vinegar dumped on us."

"Ravenclaw tower is beautiful," Cassidy said. "We have our own little library and it's just so, well the best word to describe it is airy. You'd have to see it yourself to see what I mean. We love it there and except for a couple of Colleens little followers, we don't really have any snobby girls there. You know how people seem to assume that the Ravenclaws are snotty."

"Yeah well a Ravenclaw isn't going to admit that she is snotty," Marco said to her.

Cassidy stuck her tongue out at him but she was smiling. As she did this, a bell rung signalling the end of lunch. We had about ten minutes to get to class now. I just hoped someone knew where the Charms class was.

Minnie and I trailed behind the others as we headed inside. Cassidy and Craig were talking to each other, and Andrew was checking his message parchment. I figured this would be the best opportunity to ask her what happened the night before.

"So why did your sorting take so long?" I asked her.

She glanced at me and then looked down at the ground.

"You noticed that? I didn't think it went any longer than anyone else's," she said. "I thought Judy's seemed to take forever."

"I stopped watching after yours," I said, "I was writing to Ashley on my parchment. It just seemed if you were almost arguing with the hat or something."

"Okay fine, I asked the hat to put me in Gryffindor with you," Minnie said. "I once heard that the sorting hat takes your choice into account. It's why I am surprised that Judy is in Slytherin because I'm sure she would not have made that choice."

"I kind of figured you would," I said. "Why did the hat put you in Ravenclaw in the end then?"

"It told me that I could do well in Gryffindor but I would do better in Ravenclaw. It told me that I shouldn't make my choice based on where my friends end up, but with where I want to end up in the future. It said it could sort me into Gryffindor, but it wanted me to really think about it. In the end, I decided that I wanted to be in Ravenclaw. I'm sure Gryffindor is a nice house but I know Ravenclaw is the place for me," she explained.

"Good," I said. "It's not going to affect our friendship you know. I know it has happened to other people, but it won't happen to us."

"I hope not," Minnie answered. "You were my very first friend and you're my best friend," and then she smirked at me. "I suppose that's end game for you and Cynthia."

I looked at her with surprise and then it was my turn to look at the ground. "I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered.

We were inside the castle by that point, and I wished she'd lower her voice. In the corridors, our voices could carry.

"Oh come on Denny," Minnie said and she lightly slapped my shoulder. "I've always known that you liked her. I could tell. I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me."

"I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it," I told her as I looked up again.

"Does anyone else know?" She asked.

"Just Andrew, but he guessed at my pool party. He said it was strange that I agreed with her but not you," I answered.

"That was the obvious part for me too," she said. "I've always known but that cinched it for me. You were so stubborn and yet as soon as she said it, you agreed with her."

"Well, to be honest, I can see it happening with our group," I told her. "It won't happen to you and me but I just don't think the nine of us will still be good friends by the end of the year. We're going to make our own friends. Hell, even Craig is growing on me and I think it's because he is away from Colin."

We glanced over at Craig. He and Cassidy were still in deep conversation. Andrew was trailing behind them just a little, he was still staring at his parchment. Luckily no one seemed to be paying any attention to us. There were more people around us, but they were either older or they just didn't care about what we were talking about it.

"I never thought he was so bad anyway," Minnie said. "He can be arrogant sometimes, but he's loyal. And he likes you a lot."

"I don't see blokes that way," I joked causing her to give me another light slap.

"Seriously, he always just has good things to say about you. I think he admires you a lot," Minnie said and then she sighed. "Just promise me that we'll try to get together as much as can."

"We will," I told her. "Curfew is at eight and we have some classes together and we can talk to each other at lunch. We can also hang out on weekends as well. Just because we're in different houses, it doesn't mean anything."

Cassidy and Craig seemed to find the Charms classroom with no problem. We followed them into a classroom which seemed more roomy than the others we'd be in so far. The desks were arranged in a circle instead of just facing the board like others. In this classroom, the five of us could actually sit together.

"Aw it looks like they're reunited again," Colleen said when she walked by.

"Reunited and it feels so good," Becky sang.

A few people laughed.

"Looks like she can't think for herself," Andrew said loudly. "She's only known us for a day and she's already making fun of us just because Colleen is."

"You're not impressing anyone Becky," Craig added. "If the only way you can keep a friend is to make fun of someone then you're pathetic."

Becky blushed when people laughed. She hurried behind Mallory and Colleen. Colleen whispered something to her, and she gave a small shrug.

"Who is that?" Minnie asked.

"One of Colleen's newest followers," I told her.

"But why is Mallory hanging out with her?" Cassidy asked.

"Who knows," Craig said sounding bored. "I say we just ignore them."

"I suppose it makes sense that Colleen would add some people to her group," Minnie said.

Some of her friends had been sorted into Ravenclaw. They were all sitting together now. A few of them were glaring over at us. Colleen's group had been sorted into all four houses. So she had followers everywhere. I had a feeling that they were going to try and make us all miserable if they could. She would try to get anyone to join her, and I was sure she had said something to make Becky feel that she had to befriend her.

By the end of the day, I was actually quite tired. I was relieved to sit back and relax in the common room after dinner. We'd been given some homework, and the three of us decided it was best to get it out of the way. Ellen would be disappointed in us. Minnie had wanted to meet up in the library with the others, but I'd told her we could some other night. She'd looked disappointed but I was just too tired to go all the way down there.

"I feel like it's already starting," Minnie said sadly.

"No, it's not," I told her firmly. "Just give me some time to get adjusted to Hogwarts, please."

I did feel bad but it had been a long first day. I just wanted to get the school work out of the way and then write to everyone about my first day. I knew they were all waiting for what I would have to say. I also wanted to write a letter to my mother as well. I figured I'd write to her first before everyone else. So once we were done our school work (which was surprisingly easy) I pulled out a blank piece of parchment to write to her.

"What are you doing now Hoofer?" Craig asked me as he leaned back and yawned.

"Writing to my mother," I answered without thinking.

"Why are you writing to her?" Andrew demanded.

I'd forgotten that he didn't know that I'd contacted her in the summer. He knew everything, but he didn't know that we were talking again. So I quickly explained it to him.

"I don't get it," Craig suddenly said. "Why are you living with your godparents anyway. I've never understood that but you wouldn't talk about it back in primary five. We all knew something was wrong, but you were so angry for the first few months, and then you were stressed about Ashley's pregnancy. What exactly went on?"

I sighed and figured it wouldn't hurt to tell him the truth. It looked as if he was going to be a good of mine now that we shared a house. Minnie did tell me that he liked and admired me. She was also right that he was loyal to me even if he was arrogant and cocky.

"My mum gave me up when I was in primary five," I explained.

"But why?" Craig asked. "We already all knew that something had happened."

"The magic," I said. "She couldn't raise a magical son, so she let Ashley and Ben adopt me. She told me that she didn't want me in her life anymore because she was pregnant again. She didn't want my new sister to know about me. She just wanted her to grow up in a normal muggle life."

"So why exactly would you want to write her?" Craig asked me.

"Because she's my mother," I said simply. "I don't expect you, or Andrew or anyone else to get it. Everyone I know except Michael has parents who love them. No one else has been abandoned the way I have."

"You do have parents who love you," Andrew said. "Ashley and Ben love you. They gave you their name and everything. They do everything for you. Don't you think it's insulting to them that you're writing to her?"

"I'm surprised they don't mind," Craig added. "I know if it were me, I wouldn't want my adopted kid to write to someone who abandoned him."

"They aren't happy about it," I said. "Ashley hates it but they know I'd do it anyway. Ben even went to talk to my mum about it. He wanted to know what she wanted out of all this."

"Well I think it's wrong," Andrew said. "I remember how you were back if primary five."

"Would you leave Ashley and Ben's if she decided she wanted you back," Craig asked me. "After everything they've done, would you pick her over them?"

"I don't know," I said. "I just want her to love me because she is my mum, but I don't know if I could go back to her. It's a lot more complicated than you'd realize. For you two, I know what you'd say but it's because you've never been in my shoes. It's different when it actually happens to you."

"But you actually chose to live with them," Andrew said. "Before she even gave you up. I remember you writing to me that you wanted out of her house."

"But I didn't expect her to do that," I said. "I just thought it would be a summer thing or something. I honestly don't know what to tell you. For now, I just want to write to her and hear back from her. She must love me if she wants to hear about my life, even if she doesn't want me to be her son."

I saw Craig and Andrew exchange looks but they didn't say anything else on the matter. After a while, they decided to play chess. I finished up my letter to my mother and then pulled out my message parchment to write to everyone else. Afterwards, I went up to bed. I was sure that the moment I left, Andrew and Craig would talk about me. I was almost tempted to listen with an extendable but I decided it wasn't worth it.

After a week at Hogwarts, I fell into a routine. I got used to everything around the castle. The primary school had been designed to look like Hogwarts, but there was nothing like the real thing. Here, there was definitely a lot more magic. It wasn't only what you could see, but I also thought I could actually feel it, even in the grounds.

After a couple of days, it wasn't hard to actually remember where everything was. I'd been worried I'd be someone who couldn't find my way, even in the seventh-year. However, I'd taken the prefects advice and paid attention to the little things. Certain statues and portraits helped when some of the corridors looked exactly the same, or the stairs moved.

Every morning, owls flew in to deliver parcels and packages to students. On the first day this had actually made me jump, but by Friday, I was used to it. Every morning I would stare up with the rest of the students to see if there was any mail for me. I was hoping my mother would get back to be quickly, but mid-way through the second week, it seemed that she was going to take her time again.

At first I'd believed that Transfiguration would be one of the classes I'd have trouble in, however after the second class, I was able to switch the match into a pin with no problems. Magic seemed to come easy to me once I got the hang of it, and I had to wonder if it was because at one time in my life, I'd actually been able to control it. The wandmaker had told me that my wand was powerful. Maybe I would be too.

I made sure to keep my promise to Minnie as well. I could still remember her hurt look when I'd said no to studying in the library. After the first day, however, I wasn't as tired as I had been. So I didn't mind having our study sessions in the library, or even out on the grounds. We didn't only do homework, though. A good amount of time we explored the castle. I knew that there were some secret passages and there was also a secret hidden room. I also wanted to find the kitchens as well. Apparently the elves would give you food when you asked.

I remembered hearing stories from Ashley and her friends. They would always go to the kitchens to get food to supply their parties. It had been easy for them since Hufflepuff Common Room was so close to the kitchens. The older students seemed to have their own way of getting food for our Gryffindor parties, however. Already we'd had a couple of them, and there was always alcohol and food available.

I'd promised both Ashley and Ben that I wouldn't drink in the first year, but I couldn't help but be curious. I knew that Ashley had begun drinking at the end of her third-year while the others had tried in their second-year.

"We know that you're going to drink regardless of what we say," Ben had told me. "We were the same way at school. If you feel the need to drink, I want you to pace yourself. I have my doubts that a prefect will let you anywhere near alcohol in first-year, but if you manage to get some, don't do anything stupid, please."

"I won't drink at all in the first-year if that will make you feel better," I had told him.

"It would make me feel better if you wait a while," Ben had told me. "I know there will likely be pressure for you to drink. Don't do anything that you don't want to do just because your friends are doing it."

"I won't drink unless I feel comfortable, and I won't do anything stupid when I do finally drink," I'd answered him.

Ben had laughed and then hugged me.

"I hope things will always be this easy with you," he'd answered.

"I don't think it's me you have to worry about," I'd answered. "I think it's the twins that you need to worry about."

"Yeah I don't doubt that for a moment," Ben had said.

I was planning on keeping that promise to them. I knew all about hang-overs, and I'd seen some of the dumb things that happened when people drank. So although I was curious about it, I wasn't too keen on trying it anytime soon. I could tell that Craig really wanted to try some.

"If you're going to drink some, maybe you should try some watered down alcohol," Andrew told him one Saturday. "It's what my dad did for me when I asked him if I could have a sip."

"I just want to know what it's like to get drunk," Craig said.

"You act stupid for a few hours and then you throw up," Andrew said. "What is there to know? I've seen my parents and their friends."

"And I've seen my godparents and their friends," I answered.

"I know what happens, but I just want to know what all the fuss is about," Craig told us. "I mean, there has to be a reason why everyone from our parents to the people here does it. Why do they drink so much that they throw up the next day? It obviously gives you a good feeling."

"It kind of gives you a buzzed feeling," Andrew answered. "When I tried the watered down vodka, I kind of felt warm and happy. It doesn't taste good, though. You have to mix it with something that tastes good, like orange juice or something."

"Ashley drinks it with pumpkin juice," I said with a nod.

"Are you two going to try some?" Craig asked. "You should Hoofer. You're twelve now. You're the oldest."

"That's not a good enough reason for me try it yet," I answered. "I promised I wouldn't drink in the first-year. You're more than welcome to try. Don't let me stop you."

"What about you Andrew?" Craig pressed but Andrew shook his head.

"Just get me a butterbeer mate. I'll try real stuff later on. I promised my parents the same thing," Andrew said. "They know eventually I am going to drink, especially since I'm at a boarding school. You know how protective mum is. I don't want to do anything I might regret. I know the odds of her finding out are slim, but still. I don't want to be pulled out of Hogwarts. Besides... I am not ready to get drunk like them," and he nodded at a couple of fourth years who were singing out of tune.

"Well, I am going to try," Craig said and without another word, he headed over to where the students were drinking.

"I have a feeling he's going to be trouble," Andrew said with a sigh. "He's such an insecure bloke, and without Colin around to stop him, he's going to do stupid things."

"We'll just have to watch out for him," I answered.

"I'm surprised at you," Andrew said. "You've tolerated him a lot longer than I would have thought."

"He isn't so bad," I answered. "He's tamer than he was last year. I honestly think it was Colin and maybe some of the others. Around us, he has been acting normally I don't think he feels he has to impress as much."

"Maybe not so much me, but he does feel the need to impress you," Andrew said. "He's always admired you. He was probably excited to be sorted into the same house as you."

"Maybe," I answered with a shrug, "but he doesn't seem as annoying about it. I've noticed since our first day of classes he hasn't been as obnoxious. I think a part of it was Colin. I think perhaps it might have been Marco as well."

"And Grace. She's in Hufflepuff," Andrew said and then he smirked at me, "and so is Cynthia. Too bad you two don't get to talk as much now."

It was true. What Minnie had worried would happen with our group was happening. At first, we did try and meet up together with our former group at lunch, but everyone was making their own friends in their houses. People were talking more to people that they hadn't talked to much before because they shared a house and classed with each other. I didn't really care that much. I still had Andrew and I still talked to Minnie whenever I wanted to. Craig did often go off and talk to Colin, and at times he'd join us but it wasn't often.

Usually, he had stories to share about Judy who we were all surprised had done a complete three-sixty personality wise. After the first day, she stopped crying about being sorted into Slytherin. Now she was hanging out with a couple of girls who were even meaner than Colleen. None of us wanted anything to do with her anymore. She'd called me a mudblood during our first week when I'd gone over to talk to her. I'd wanted to know how she was adjusting to Slytherin since she'd stopped meeting up with us at lunch.

"Get away from me mudblood!" She'd yelled.

I hadn't said a word to her since that day. I knew Minnie had told her off for it. Now no one wanted to talk to her, and not just people from our former group, but the majority of our classmates. She was rude to anyone who either wasn't Slytherin or who were muggleborn. She'd burnt a lot of bridges and it wasn't even the end of September. Colleen was a bitch, but not even she wanted anything to do with Judy or her two friends.

"We still have Herbology together," I said. "We still talk. You and Cassidy are in different houses but you still talk."

"I get the feeling if it weren't for you and Minnie we wouldn't," Andrew said with a smirk.

"Speaking of Minnie," I muttered as I noticed a message appeared on my parchment.

Usually we wrote to each other a lot. Sometimes it was our way of doing homework together after curfew. I pulled the parchment towards me to see what she had to say, but I was surprised to see that it was Ashley. I kind of wondered if something was wrong. We'd decided we'd write to each other every other day. Usually it was every Sunday's, Tuesdays and Thursdays. She and Ben had said that they would let the weekends be mine and it was a Saturday night.

Hayden.

We didn't mention this to you before because we didn't have any plans established. We were only thinking about it. We have decided to go away for a week in October to the house in Florida. Timmy and June are taking Alyssa and the twins, and Jared is going to take Hailey. We wanted to let you know what was going on. You will of course still be able to contact us, but the two of us needed to take a break to work on some of the things that happened three years ago. We'll still be going down for Christmas, but Ben and I needed to get away just the two of us. We will be leaving in a couple of weeks. The twins and Alyssa are upset we are going away without them. They, of course, want to come too, and they don't understand why they can't have a week off. They're all too young to understand, and I don't even know if you're really old enough to understand either. Sometimes couples need to get away to work on things, but you have nothing to worry about. If you are worried, please don't be and please ask us any questions you may have.

I rolled my eyes as I read through her letter.

"Well it's about time," I muttered as Craig returned with three butterbeers.

"They wouldn't let me try any," he said sulking. "They wouldn't even let me try any of the watered stuff. They told me to come back in two years."

"You're not going to pout all night are you?" I asked him. "We don't need alcohol to have fun."

"I know but I just wanted to try some," he said. "I bet when they were our age they wanted some."

"And likely the older students didn't let them," I said. "Ashley and Ben told me that they never let the first or second years drink. If they managed to get some it was because they snuck it."

Andrew was shaking his head furiously at me but Craig just smiled.

"It's not like I haven't considered it," he told him, "but it's not worth it. Someday we'll be able to drink freely. I don't feel like having the older kids eyes on me more than they already are. I hate to say it, but sometimes I miss primary school. We weren't treated like little kids there. We ruled that school, and someday we will again."

Andrew rolled his eyes at him and then looked at me. "Anyway, what were you talking about Hayden? You said it was about time? Who wrote to you?"

"Oh just Ashley," I said. "They're going away in October to work on stuff they should have years ago. I knew it even then and I was nine."

"Why they aren't going to divorce or something are they?" Craig asked. "They always seem happy to me."

"Not likely," I answered. "I never told you about Hailey did I?"

"Not really," Craig said.

I thought back to when Ashley had been pregnant with her. Only Minnie really knew the details about that I believed. Andrew knew that Ashley had come close to losing her, but he didn't know everything. At the time I hadn't wanted to talk too much about it. I was already stressing about what had happened with mum, and then that Halloween night had happened.

It had actually been Andrew's place I'd gone over to for Halloween. It had been a great night because as protective as his mother was, she'd actually let us go ahead on our own while she tended to his siblings. Lately, I'd been trapped in the house because of what had been going on in the wizarding world with the attacks, so I enjoyed my one night of freedom. His mother didn't know anything about the attacks. When we'd returned to his place, we were all going through our candy when I got a message from Ashley's mother asking if it would be okay if I spent the night there. Andrews mother found this odd since the next day was a school day, but she'd let me anyway.

The next day, I got a message from Ben saying that something had happened to Ashley and I could either stay at Andrew's or I could go Minnie's. Naturally I wanted to go to Minnie's. I knew they could answer any questions I might have. However, they wouldn't tell me anything. Eventually I was dropped off at the Alexanders because they wanted me there.

The days I spent at the Alexanders, I kept questioning them but neither Darla or Terry would tell me anything. It was irritating because Ashley and Ben had promised to be truthful and they usually were. I wanted to know why we couldn't go home, and what was going on with her. Finally Ben arrived a few days later to take us all home.

"Are you sure it's the best idea to take them already?" Darla had asked Ben. "How can you take care of the kids when she is still in bed?"

"She wants them home," he'd told her.

"And when can we see her?" Terry asked.

"Perhaps in a few days. She isn't taking it too well right now," Ben had answered in a low voice.

"We'd like to be there for our daughter. I can't imagine what she is going through right now," Darla had said.

When we finally got home, it was to find that Ashley was weak and depressed. The twins were only two at the time, but they were even worried about her. She could barely do anything without getting tired and she cried a lot.

"Why are you so sad?" I finally asked her.

She'd always seemed so strong to me. I couldn't understand what could have happened that night that would make her cry. Had someone we'd known died? Was she trying to keep that from me because I was nine? I knew they still wanted to protect me, but my mother had abandoned me. There wasn't much they could protect me from.

She was in her bed and crying. I'd gone up to sit with her to keep her company. I could tell that she was trying to keep me from seeing it.

"You promised to be honest with me," I reminded her when she didn't answer. "I know something bad happened to you. I know there was a fight on Halloween night and you, Ben and Michael fought in it. So did Barry and the other grown-ups. Please tell me what happened."

"Don't tell the other kids please, especially Alyssa," she requested.

"I never have before," I replied. She should have known by then I wouldn't.

"This time, it's very important that you don't," she pressed on.

"I swear I won't," I promised.

"I was pregnant but I didn't know it," she told me, and tears ran down her cheeks. "When I was attacked in the battle I lost my baby."

I remember feeling devastated myself, but even at the age of nine, I knew my grief about it couldn't compare to hers. All I could do was hold it in and hug her while she sobbed. I'd never thought I'd be comforting a grown up that way. She'd always done her best to comfort me when I was sad, especially after my mother had left me. I was sure she was hurting as much as I'd felt when mum had told me she didn't want me anymore, perhaps she was hurting even more. I tried everything I could to comfort my godmother.

A few days after that, she seemed happier. She was the one to come to me about it.

"Do you remember how I told you I'd lost my baby?" She asked me. "I had a visit with my Healer yesterday. She confirmed that I didn't."

Instantly I felt happy for her. I'd spent the last few days worrying about both her and Ben.

"So everything is okay?" I asked happily. "You're not sad anymore?"

"No, I am not sad anymore, but this pregnancy is going to be different from my last ones. I am going to be tired a lot more from it. The battle took a lot out of me," she answered.

"I'll help with the younger kids," I volunteered instantly. I'd do whatever I could to help. I'd make sure that the twins were busy at all times. That was back then when Cameron had been so clingy. "It's too bad that Maisie left so soon, she could have helped out."

Maisie had been someone who'd stayed with us for a few weeks after one of the attacks. We didn't see her as much anymore. She still came around, but not as much as before. I liked her quite a bit and I'd actually missed her when she'd left. Apparently she'd managed to get her own place, though.

"Well I am sure between you and Ben everything will be fine. I'm sure even Alyssa will want to help out," Ashley told me with a smile.

"It's good that Ben isn't working right now," I said. "He can help you when we're at school. Maybe even Maisie can come back."

Shortly after that, I remember Jared running into the room. I suddenly felt protective of her as Jared pulled her into a hug. She'd just been in a battle where she thought she'd lost her baby. I was sure there had to be a good reason why the Healers had believed that, and I didn't want Jared to hurt her or the baby.

"Careful," I told him sharply.

"I know," Jared had told me.

After that I worried about her constantly, but it wasn't only her. I worried about Ben and the kids as well. It was from the adults comforting me, to me comforting them during her pregnancy. There was a few times I'd find Ben in tears as well. I'd been shocked to find Ashley crying, but even more when it came to Ben. At times, I'd find Ellen, Keith and Michael crying about it too, or Shelly if she came to visit. All of them had always been there for me, and it was my turn to be there for them.

Her pregnancy was stressful for all of us, but eventually, Hailey came and she was healthy, even if she was too small. Ashley and Ben had never worked on their stress from that time, though. They'd just tried to go back to normal, but I knew they were stressed and they were keeping it from each other. For months, Ashley wouldn't even do magic. It had been Ellen who had convinced her to do it.

I sat there and explained all of this to Andrew and Craig who stared at me in shock. We hadn't even touched our butterbeers by that point.

"How come you never talked about it?" Craig asked. "We all knew you were angry. I can't believe you went through all of that. Not only did you lose your real mum, but you went through all of that as well. And you wonder why you're in Gryffindor?"

"Going through all that didn't make me a Gryffindor," I told him.

"But you took it all so well," Andrew said. "Most people would snap, but you didn't. You were angry, and maybe sometimes sad but you didn't let it get to you too much. I just think you handled it all very bravely."

"Exactly. That explains why you're so protective about Hailey. Why haven't they worked through all that yet?" Craig asked.

"They haven't had the time," I said. "They had to take care of Hailey and then all of us as well. I think with me at Hogwarts, it's easier for them to do it now. I overheard them saying they'd had a big fight the night of my birthday party. I bet that's what it is. They've been acting strangely ever since. I don't think they wanted us to know they were fighting. I think it's about time they are talking about all that. The kids are jealous but they also don't know the details. They were too young when all that happened."

"Does Minnie know?" Craig asked and I nodded.

"Of course, she is family you know. Her dad is Ben's brother. Her grandparents even lived with us. She was the one who even guessed why Ashley was so sickly during her pregnancy before Ashley even knew," I told him.

"And why was that?" Andrew asked.

"Her magic was protecting her and Hailey. It's why Hailey even survived. It's why Ashley wouldn't do magic for months," I explained.

"You're a secretive man Hoofer," Craig said. "You've always been a mystery to me. Is there anything else we should know about?"

"He used to be able to control his magic without a wand," Andrew spoke up.

"I already knew that," Craig said.

"Oh come on," I said. "It's not as I know everything about you. We hung out in the same group, but we weren't always close."

"Because you never liked me," Craig said matter-of-factly.

"Well you always came off so arrogant mate," I said. "I hung out with you, so I liked you enough but you were always too busy trying to show off. You've seemed to have calmed down since our first day of school."

Craig just gave a small shrug but didn't say anything. I was sure he was thinking about Colin.

"So as I said, you must have some secrets yourself," I said. "We're talking about how I am a mystery man. What about you? Colin was the only one you shared your secrets with."

"Exactly," Andrew spoke up. "You're one to talk Craig. We all hung out together, but it was always you and Colin, and sometimes maybe Marco. We all had our best friends in our group. It looks like the three of us are going to hang out for the next seven years. Hayden just shared a significant part of his life, so it's your turn."

"I have a few things," Craig said and he shifted uncomfortably. "But the two of you have to promise never to tell anyone."

"We won't," I said. "If you're going to hang out with us, you need to learn to trust us. You can't just do stupid things to impress us. We'll be your friends if you're loyal to us, and we'll be loyal to you in turn. You don't have to impress people for them to be your friends."

"Well that's one of the first things I wanted to talk about," Craig said. "My friendship with Colin wasn't ever a real thing. I mean, we enjoyed hanging out but we weren't close. I always envied you, Hayden. You have Minnie who you grew up with, and then you have Andrew. Everyone seems to have someone they are close to, and Colin and I were just kind of outsiders in the group. I don't even understand how we ended up being friends with you lot. I honestly believe it was because of Marco. Colin doesn't actually know anything about me. We've hung out since Primary one, but I think our friendship would be what Ellen would call a superficial one-"

"That actually does explain a lot," Andrew said.

"Well I just always thought I was lucky to even be involved because everyone else besides Colleen just had a friend or two, but we were a group. So that's why I always acted arrogantly as you said I did Hayden. And then at our sorting, Colin was put in Slytherin. I thought that maybe I should go there too. The hat didn't think it was the best idea, and it said I belonged more in Gryffindor. I saw that you were sorted here, Hayden so I figured, at least, I'd be with you. I didn't know if you'd talk to me, though. I didn't expect this," he said and he waved his hand at the three of us. "I was kind of worried I'd have to make friends with the other blokes. We never really talked in primary school, and there is that Bartholomew bloke. I don't know him since he didn't go to our school."

"I don't really understand that," I said. "Colin doesn't seem like someone you need to impress. He's always been laid back. I always found your friendship to be different. You were the trouble-maker and he was the laid back one. I've never really understood why you felt the need to act like you did. People just thought you were being arrogant. It's what I thought. That's why you annoyed me. I decided when you were sorted in Gryffindor that I would stick by you, however."

"You still talk to Colin," Andrew pointed.

"Yes but he's getting close to his Slytherin friends now," Craig said. "That's how you know our friendship was never real. I mean, we still talk quite a bit to Cassidy and Minnie. We haven't really talked to anyone else. Judy was bawling her eyes about being Slytherin, and now look what has happened with her."

"But Judy was another one who always felt the need to impress people," Andrew said. "That's what she is doing now. She thinks by hanging out with those Slytherin girls, it's how she is going to fit in there."

"Colin is doing fine, and the kids he is hanging out with are cool," Craig pointed out.

"Yes but it's likely the same as Becky and Mallory over there," I said and I nodded in the direction of Becky, Colleen, and Mallory. "They wanted to fit in. Mallory's friends are in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Becky came here with no friends. Some people are just easily influenced. Even you Craig. You've calmed down since you've hung out with just Andrew and me."

"You know, that's probably what Minnie and Cynthia meant," Andrew said. "Remember how they were worried we'd move on? We haven't even been there a month. None of us thought things would change this quick."

"Especially not Denny," Craig said and then winked at me. "What are you going to do without Cynthia now? She might meet some other bloke in Hufflepuff. Maybe it will be Marco."

"Wait, you knew about Cynthia?" I asked as I stared at him in shock. "You were always bothering me about Minnie."

"I think everyone knew about you and Cynthia. It was just easy when it came to Minnie since you're lifelong friends," Craig told me. "We all know you wanted each other."

"I doubt she likes me," I said.

"Why do you think she always calls you Denny?" Craig asked with amusement. "She hasn't given any other bloke a nickname."

I couldn't help but grin at that. She liked me too. I'd never thought that was a possibility, and while that made me happy, it actually scared me too. Where did I go from here? I saw Craig and Andrew exchange amused grins at this, but I didn't care. At that moment, nothing could make me unhappy. For the rest of the night, we joked around and exchanged secrets.

While the older kids partied and got drunk, we just enjoyed a sober night of getting to know each other. Perhaps to an outsider, it would seem to be a boring night but I knew it was a night I'd remember for a long time. Ashley and Ben had stories of parties in the Hufflepuff common room which featured them always being drunk. I was sure I would have some of those stories to share when I was older, but I wanted sober stories too. I knew from that moment on that Craig would be a new good friend of mine and it was something I always wanted to remember. Ellen, Ashley, Ben and Michael had their stories of their friendship and now I was ready to start mine.


	7. Chapter 7

Hayden wasn't my biological child, but he was my son. I'd known him since he was a baby, even if I hadn't seen him as much during his first few years of life. I loved him as if he were my own flesh and blood. I'd always known it would be hard for me to put him on the train, even before I had adopted him. I knew I had to hold in my tears however. I didn't want to embarrass him.

He was ready to go however. From the moment we apparated to the train station, his friends claimed him. Ben and I had to stand back while he greeted his friends. They would be the most important people in his life now. It had happened that way with me. I knew I had to step back and let it happen so I did.

Tasha and Barry were just as emotional as we were. I was sure with the pregnancy hormones, it was even harder for Tasha. I felt sad to say good-bye to Minnie as well. I could still remember the day that I'd held her for the first time. I'd just been sixteen-years-old, and unsure of where life would take Ben and me. I thought back to that tiny one day old baby, and stared now at the eleven-year-old girl who was hugging me. She smiled up at me. She was so beautiful already. I knew she'd drive the boys crazy once she got to school.

"This is so hard," Tasha said as the kids leaned out the window to say good-bye to us. "I'm not ready to let her go yet."

"I know what you mean," I said.

The tears were already running down her cheeks. I held it in as much as I could. I knew that once the train started to move, I would be bawling. I blinked quickly as little Andrew and Craig shouted their good-byes to me as well. I'd taught Craig, Judy, Cassidy and Colin. I recognized some of the older kids on the trains as ones I'd taught as well. Some of them greeted me from their windows. It was hard to believe that they were all teens already. Where had the time gone? How was it that my little boy was already leaving me? Who had decided that eleven was old enough to go away for so long? This must have been how my mother had felt.

After today, we'd only see him on holidays but he would only want to be around his friends. Once you spent everyday with your friends, it changed you. It was different from primary school. It was going to be hard for me to accept that. I was going to have to ask mum how she'd dealt with it, because I was going to go through this three more times. I would also go through it with my nieces and nephews and my friends children too.

The train slowly started to move. The kids continued to hang out the window to wave to us. I wanted to walk along the side of the train as Hayden left, but I didn't move. I stayed with Barry and Tasha who were waving frantically. The moment the train rounded the corner, I let the tears that had been threatening to fall since that morning flow.

"I can't believe he's gone," I said. "The house is going to seem so strange without him."

"I know," Ben said and he hugged me tightly. "But he's going to love it there," and he glanced over at Barry and Tasha. "You know Minnie is going to love it there too. They're going to have as much fun as we did. The next seven years will be the best of their lives."

Ben wiped away my tears and then kissed me.

"No more crying hon, you know right now that he's having a blast," Ben told me.

"Do you two have to be back to work?" Barry asked us.

I shook my head. I'd received a message from my department telling me to take the day off. They knew it was going to be a hard one for me. Ben had also been given the day off. I thought it was a good thing. We could keep each other company, and then find a way to cheer up the other kids. They'd been so emotional that morning.

"Well what do you say we have a few drinks then?" Barry asked. "We don't have to be at work either. We could go to mum and dads. They wanted to know how today went after all."

"Why don't we do that later," I said as I continued to dab at my eyes. "I think it will be the best way to cheer up the kids. They love going over there. They'll be happy that we can go there two days in a row."

"Sounds good to me," Tasha said. "I just want to be with the family right now anyways. I just can't believe she is gone. I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her, and then the first time I held her in my arms. I was in labour for so long, but it was worth it. Now she's on the train."

"I remember that day too," Barry said with a smile as he took her hand. He grinned at Ben and me. "These two were so freaked out because they were realizing that they could be in that spot someday. Who would have thought that we'd be sending our kids off at the same time."

Tasha hadn't moved from her spot as Barry pulled on her hand. She was staring at something. I saw a look of shock on her face that slowly changed to anger. I didn't understand what could cause such a reaction from her. I turned from Ben's arms to look in the direction she was staring. I felt myself go through the same emotions that she was experiencing.

"Rachel," Ben said in a cool voice.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Tasha shouted.

By that point, parents had began to leave but there were a few people still around. I could see Harry Potter in the distance and I wondered why he was there. It took me a moment to realize that he would have been there to see his own godson off. He glanced in our direction, and recognizing us, he walked over as well.

"I-I wanted to see him off," Rachel said in a small voice as she took a step forward. "I've been waiting for this day since I knew he was magical. I had to see him go off on the train."

I was angry with her, but not for the same reason Tasha was. A few months ago I would have been. I was angry because Hayden would have loved to wave good-bye to her. It would have meant a lot to him to see her there. Instead, she had to hide like the coward she was. Not only that, but she was putting us in a position that none of us wanted to be in. I knew she'd want us to keep it a secret and Hayden would never forgive any of us if we did.

Tasha pulled out of Barry's grip and stepped forward.

SMACK!

I stared in shock at my sister-in-law but I was also congratulating her in my mind. It was something I'd like to do as well, but I respected Hayden too much to do so. He would never appreciate it if I slapped his mother. He wanted a relationship with her, and as much I hated it, I was giving him that.

"You abandon your son, and then you come here to see him off!?" Tasha yelled at her. "I trusted and respected you. You have no idea what you put that little boy through!"

"Rachel, if you had to be here, why couldn't you have let him see you at least?" I asked finally finding my voice. "You have no idea how much that would have meant to him! You told Ben you wanted a relationship with him. You promised us that you wouldn't hurt him again. This is the exact opposite of that."

"Everything okay over here?" Harry had finally reached us.

"We're fine," Ben told him. "We're just dealing with a family situation."

Harry nodded and glanced at me.

"I'm glad to hear that you're back on your feet," he told me. "I've heard you're doing good things in experimental charms. Hermione was just asking about you the other day in fact. She doesn't have your number anymore, but she always respected you and everything you've achieved."

"You can tell her that I'm fine," I told him. "Thanks for checking up on us."

He nodded. "If everything is okay, I am going to go," and he nodded in the direction of where some of his family members were standing together. "I didn't know you had a kid old enough to go already."

"Godson," I answered and he nodded with understanding.

He shot a look at Rachel who stared back before waving good-bye to the rest of and walking off.

"Always the Auror," Barry muttered.

"You know, I was sorry to hear about Hailey," Rachel told me. "Ben told me about your pregnancy."

"Which is why I can't understand how you can give him up and I don't want to talk about Hailey with you," I told her. "Why are you here Rachel? How did you even get on the platform?"

"I told you," she said. "I just had to see him off. A family of wizards helped me. I told them that I was here to see my muggleborn nephew off. I knew they were wizards because they had owls. I saw you appear on the platform, and then I watched from afar. I didn't even mean for you lot to see me, but the family I was hiding behind moved. Tasha saw me, and I knew I couldn't leave after that."

"You are a horrible woman," Tasha said angrily. "To just give up your baby boy like that just because he is magical!"

Tasha also understood what it was like to be abandoned. Her parents barely talked to her. They hadn't completely abandoned her but they hadn't made her feel welcome. They'd let her have a place to stay, but they had stopped loving her. I knew that sometimes they wrote to ask how her children were, but they didn't ever ask to see them. I knew that Hayden's abandonment had hit home for her. Rachel knew all about it because the two women used to talk about it quite a bit.

"Tasha-" Rachel began and she stepped forward.

"I will hit you again if you come anywhere near me," Tasha threatened. "I have nothing more to say to you. There is nothing you can ever say to me that will make me understand. I don't even understand why Ashley and Ben let Hayden write you, but in the end it's their decision even if I disagree with it."

"Because Hayden would have written me anyway," Rachel said as she glanced at Ben, and then at me. "Ashley-" she began as she stepped towards me as well.

"No," I said. "The only reason why I am not hitting you is because of Hayden. He wouldn't want me to hit his mother, so I am holding back. Stay away from me before I do something I might regret. I nearly lost my own baby, and you gave up your own. You have no idea the agony I went through when I thought Hailey was gone, or how hard my pregnancy was. You have two children that you don't even deserve," and then I glared into her eyes. "I am telling you this however, Rachel. If you ever hurt that little girl the way you hurt Hayden, I won't hesitate to hit you. I'm holding back now, but you'd better not break your daughters heart as well. You'd better not break Hayden's heart again. You're already putting us in a difficult situation as it is."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"We all know you're going to ask us not to tell Hayden," Barry spoke up.

"Well yes," Rachel said hesitantly, "but only because I want to tell him. I plan to once I get a letter from him. I'll tell him everything then."

"But it will still be hard for us, because we have to keep this secret from him, for you," Ben said. "And quite frankly, I don't see why we should. We've always promised to be honest with Hayden."

"And you can be, once I tell him," Rachel said. "I'll tell him that I asked you to keep it a secret for now. As soon as I get a letter from him, I will tell him. I will tell him that I saw you lot, but I asked you not to say anything because I wanted to tell him. I'll tell him to direct all his anger at me."

"I don't feel right with keep secrets from him," I told her. "Why should we do anything for you?"

"I can't give you that answer Ashley," Rachel said. "Either you'll tell him or you won't. I'd just rather him hear it from me. If you hadn't seen me, I would have told him anyway."

"A month," Tasha spoke up. "We're giving you a month, and if you don't tell him by the end of September, all four of us will write to him, and we'll explain that we trusted you to tell him the truth. If you don't, it will just show what kind of person you really are. I hope it will make him realize that you truly don't have his best interests at heart. I'm telling you however, if you let this damage the relationship we have with this boy, you will regret it. Your husband and your daughter will know everything. Don't disappoint us."

Rachel looked terrified but she nodded. Without another word, she turned and walked off.

"I don't feel right about this," I said instantly. "We tell Hayden everything. Why are we allowing this to happen exactly?"

"At first I didn't agree with it," Tasha told me and she moved forward to put an arm around me. "If she truly loves Hayden, she'll tell him the truth. If she doesn't, then she won't. Hayden will realize this."

"But it could break his heart and he'll lose his trust with us for not being honest," I said.

"Ashley, Tasha cannot hurt him anymore than she has. Hayden is smart enough to know what to expect. I'm not saying it won't hurt him, because it will. However, he has high expectations for her, and if she blows it, it will be a wake up call for him."

"But it will still show him that he can't trust us," I said.

"No it won't," Ben spoke up and I looked over at him not understanding how. "Look, Hayden wants this with Rachel so much. He also knows that we disapprove of him talking to her. He'll appreciate the fact that we made an agreement with her not to tell him yet. We didn't agree never to tell him, we agreed that she should tell him. There is a difference, and he'll see it."

"I'm not so sure," I said. "We're going to be entering the teen years with him soon enough. We don't need to make him think that he can't trust us. It's going to be hard enough with a teenager with issues without adding that on top of it."

"Actually I see their point," Barry told me.

"Well I don't, but since you're all in agreement with it, I'll keep the secret, but October first, I am writing to her," I said. "I think a month is too long, but we'll give her that. I'd just better not lose the trust of that little boy because of that bitch!" I kicked a piece of litter on the ground angrily. "Damn it! This was supposed to be a good day for us."

"So, your place then?" Barry asked Ben who nodded.

Ben walked over and took me by the arm. Without warning me, he turned on the spot. Moments later, I was sputtering in our kitchen.

"You could have warned me you know," I said.

"I know," Ben said and he leaned down to kiss me. "But I needed to get you out of there. No more stressing. We promised ourselves that. So you sit down, and I am going to make us some drinks."

"Just remember that you can't give any alcohol to Tasha," I told him as I climbed up onto one of the stools at the island.

"I can't, but I can put in something that will calm her down. Something that won't hurt the baby," he told me.

As he began to mix the drinks, Tasha and Barry appeared. Tasha joined me at the island, but Barry began to prepare us some food.

"Well, this is certainly different," Tasha said to me. "The men are working in the kitchen instead of us."

"I'll say a lot about Rachel, but she had to really want to be there," Barry said he opened and closed cupboard doors. "She came all the way to Kings Cross to see him off. How long does it typically take to get from your town to London? Especially with all that traffic?"

"Usually an hour, but around this time of day it would be an hour and a half," I answered. "Ellen's mother used to pick me up and take me home, but after a while she couldn't take me home. I'm not so upset she was there. I was almost expecting it since the day she wrote back to him. I just hate the fact that she hid, and now she wants us to lie for her."

"We're not exactly lying," Ben said as he put a vodka and pumpkin juice drink in front of me. "We're just keeping it from him for now."

"Let's not talk about her," Tasha said. "It's just going to work us up. It's supposed to be a good day."

I nodded, but I couldn't help but brood about it. While the others talked about their memories of their first days, I thought about Hayden and the fact that Rachel was making me keep a secret from him. I could understand the others point now, but I still didn't like it. Hayden would appreciate the fact that we'd actually talked to his mother and came to an agreement about something. I just hated it. We were supposed to be the parents here.

Barry and Tasha left after a while, but we all agreed that we should go to the Hoofer's place later with the kids.

"Try to cheer up," Ben told me. "Thinking about it isn't going to help matters. We don't want to be in bad moods when the kids get home. You know they're going to be upset as it is because Hayden is gone."

"I hate Rachel, I really do," I said angrily. "She ruined our day. It's always going to be a bad memory for me now."

"Only if you let it," Ben said. "You can remember that we sent our first child off to Hogwarts, and then we came back here. Rachel was only a small part of our day. You need to remember that. While we're waiting for the kids, let's talk about Florida some more. I really do think we need it, especially with the latest events."

Later that night, we went over to Ben's parents with the kids. They seemed to have cheered up since that morning, but kids were often like that. As soon as we told them that we were going over to their grandparents, the three of them ran upstairs to get ready. When I went up later with Hailey, it was to find that they were all in Hayden's room, so I had to kick them out and lock the door. I knew he wouldn't appreciate them going through his things while he was gone.

The kids talked about their day at school, most of the evening I kept checking my parchment to see which house Hayden would end up in. I wasn't even sure what time the Hogwarts feast took place at. I'd never given it much thought when we were in school. All I knew was that we arrived when it was dark, ate and then went to bed.

I tried my best not to be too distracted. I tried to listen to Alyssa who was telling me all about primary four. How was it that my baby was already in primary four? Soon enough, we'd be sending her away as well. I wasn't looking forward to the day when we sent Hailey to Hogwarts. I glanced over at my youngest. It would be hard for me to send the kids away, but she would be the hardest to let go. Not only because of what she went through, but because she was my last baby. I knew I had years before I had to worry about that, but I finally understood why Mrs. Hoofer had been so emotional over Ben.

It wasn't until we went home, when I finally received a message from Hayden. I was just watching one of Alyssa's favourite shows with her, when I felt my parchment vibrate in my pocket, so I pulled it out to see one word written on it.

Gryffindor

"Ben!" I said excitedly.

As much as I hoped that he would be in Hufflepuff, I knew that Gryffindor suited him better. I could already imagine how we would decorate his room for him. I quickly congratulated him while I waited for Ben, who was just cleaning up the twins. Alyssa, who was sitting on the floor got up and rushed over to climb on the couch beside me.

"Is it Hayden mummy?" She asked me.

"Yes it is, he was sorted into Gryffindor," I told her.

"I thought he would be Gryffindor," she told me. "I'm going to Gryffindor too you know."

I believed that she could be, or even Ravenclaw. She was a Hoofer after all. She was very smart and was in the top five on her year. She didn't have that competitive edge to her, but she did work hard on her school work. She actually loved doing homework, but I did wonder if it had to do with her age. I was sure once she was older, she would hate it.

"I'm sure you will be," I told her. "I think you'd make a good Gryffindor."

"What year will Hayden be in when I go to Hogwarts?" She asked.

"He will be a fifth year," I told her. "He'll be in seventh year when the twins start their first year."

"And Hailey?" Alyssa asked.

"Hayden will be done school by the time she starts," I told her. "You'll be in your sixth year when she starts though. It will be the same as Ellen and Timmy."

"Too bad we can't all be in school at the same time," Alyssa said. "I want us all to be together again."

"You will be. You don't only have to be together at school," I told her. "It looks like Minnie was sorted into Ravenclaw."

"That was obvious," Alyssa said. "I bet she even begged the hat to put here there."

I could see her begging the hat to put her in Gryffindor just as Hayden believed she had. He'd written that her sorting had taken a long time. She didn't like to be far from him, but I was sure the two of them could maintain their friendship just fine. I wasn't so sure about the rest of his group, but the two of them had been friends since they were babies.

"Mummy," Alyssa said as I continued to write to Hayden who had described the train ride to me. "Will you ever tell me more about Hailey?"

It was a question she had been asking me a lot more lately. I wasn't so sure if it was a good idea to share with a seven year old what had happened to her baby sister, but then again, I'd told Hayden when he'd only been nine. It was something Ben and I would have to discuss together. We were planning to tell all of the kids once they reached the appropriate age, but I wasn't so sure if seven was. Alyssa was a lot younger than Hayden had been in so many ways. I knew it was going to be hard for me to tell Hailey the truth someday.

"Yes honey," I said as I saw that Hayden wrote good-night. I rolled up my parchment and put it back in my pocket. "Someday, you and I will sit down and we'll talk about what happened."

"I know that you got hurt when you were fighting evil wizards," Alyssa said, "and then you were tired when you had her in your tummy. I know there is more."

"Yes, and in a couple of years I will tell you more," I answered her. "Right now, you are still very small. Your father and I will decide when it's best to tell you everything."

"Tell her everything about what?" Ben asked as he entered the living-room. "The twins are in bed, but they want you to go up and say good-night as well," and he walked over to lift up Alyssa from the couch. "It's about time you get ready for bed soon too, little missy."

"In a half hour right?" She asked him.

"She was asking about Hailey again," I told him as I stood up.

Ben nodded and looked at her. "Someday soon we will sit down and tell you all about that."

"I feel like I am never going to be a big girl," Alyssa complained. "I always have to wait until I am bigger, but it hasn't happened yet."

"Well, there are plenty of things you get to do that the others don't," I told her.

"Like what?" Alyssa asked.

"Well, you get to stay up later than everyone else," I told her. "You've been going over to Ellen's by yourself for years. We only just started to let the twins walk over to her place or Michael's without someone. You are also allowed to fly by yourself now."

"But I still don't get to hear your stories," Alyssa said.

"Well, why don't I tell you the story of how I met your Aunt Ellen while Ashley says good-night to the twins," Ben said as he sat down with her in his arms. "I don't think I've told you any of our first-year stories yet."

"Okay," Alyssa said enthusiastically.

I smiled at the two of them before I headed up the steps to say good-night to the boys. I looked in on Hailey who had fallen asleep at Ben's parents place. She hadn't even woken up when we'd used the floo to take her home. She was still sleeping peacefully. Ben had told me that we were going to have to get her a big girl bed, and the thought depressed me. I didn't want my little one to grow up already.

I continued on to Cameron's room first. He was laying in bed with his night light on. He smiled at me as soon as he saw me.

"Mummy, do you think I could write a letter to Hayden?" He asked as soon as I sat down beside him.

"I'm sure he'd like a letter from you," I said.

"We're supposed to write letters to people," Cameron told me. "They're teaching us about writing with owls in school tomorrow. We're going to be allowed to use owls to send letters. I want to write to Hayden."

"Well I think he'd appreciate it," I said.

I couldn't remember that being part of the lesson plans before, and I wondered if that was a new thing. I didn't believe Alyssa or Hayden had ever done that. I'd had to show Hayden how to use an owl that summer. Perhaps teachers didn't want kids to forget about owls. When I thought about it, it actually was a good idea. Just like in the muggle world where they were relying on mobile phones too much, kids in our world were relying on the parchments too much. There was something exciting about getting a letter delivered from an owl. We'd all forgotten about that with the convenience of the message parchments.

"Good because I miss him already," Cameron said.

"You'll see him soon," I said and I hugged and kissed him good-night before I headed to William's room to say good-night to him as well. He was already falling asleep by that point.

When I got downstairs, it was to hear Ben telling Alyssa stories about our first-year. He'd moved on from his first train ride to school. I sat down beside him to hear him telling her about the first time he'd been at my place. The kids already knew the story of how the two of us had met. We'd told them that story plenty of times. Alyssa had asked about it just a week ago for Hayden's sake.

"You loved Aunty Jaime?" Alyssa asked Ben. "But what about mummy?"

"I was Hayden's age then," Ben explained. "I only just saw your mummy as my friend. It wasn't until later that I fell in love with your mummy. I just saw your Aunt Jaime as a pretty girl, and nothing else. I didn't even know anything about her."

"But Aunty Jaime is a muggle," Alyssa said. "You wouldn't see her very much. You had mummy at Hogwarts with you."

"Yes, but it took a long time for me to realize that," Ben said. "Sometimes people aren't smart when they're twelve."

"Hayden is smart," Alyssa said.

"Hayden is smart, but sometimes people make stupid decisions," Ben said. "I didn't understand anything about love when I was twelve. You too will make choices you might regret later on, but as long as you learn from them, it's okay. I learned that I should never have liked Jaime just because she was pretty. I also learned that nothing would have come from a relationship with Jaime."

"I'm glad you learned you learned your lesson daddy," Alyssa told him and Ben laughed.

Once we had her in bed, we sat down together to watch television and to talk more about the days events.

"I'm writing to Hayden October first," I told Ben. "I just feel this is wrong. I noticed Hayden looking around the platform. I bet he was looking for her. He's going to be upset that we kept the information from him. I still don't see why we should do this for her."

"For now, let's just give her the benefit of the doubt, Ashley," Ben told me. "Believe me, I hate this situation as well. Think about it though. If we write to Hayden right now, and tell him that, he'll be upset when Rachel tells him that we'd promised not to say anything until she did."

"I know," I answered. "She's put us in a hard situation. I just worry about him. He's so happy right now, and he's a good kid but anything can cause him to have a setback."

"Believe me, I know," Ben said. "I think I am going to talk to his mind healer about this."

I nodded and then thought about Alyssa.

"So when do you think Alyssa should know more about Hailey?" I asked him. "I just feel seven is still too young to know everything."

"Hayden was nine when you told him," Ben said. "Perhaps we can wait until the kids turn nine to tell them."

"We'll have to get them to promise not to tell Hailey until she is old enough to understand," I said. "I still worry that they'll be upset with me. I still worry that you are upset with me about that."

"Well I am not," Ben told me. "I should have brought Halloween night to you in a different way."

"But I am always going to associate that night with Hailey," I answered him. "It's hard for me not to because in my mind, those events connect. If I had not gone that night, it might not have happened."

"I was never angry with you for what happened with her," Ben told me. "That's why I haven't said anything all these years. Everyone says we should have talked about this years ago, but I've been too scared to. I knew when I brought it up, you'd take it the wrong way. I didn't know how to bring it up to you, and so I've held in my anger with you all these years. When we got in that fight, I shouldn't have thrown it in your face that way. I was just so damn pissed at you. It's why we need to talk to each other. We can't keep things bottled up to the point that happens. I've felt horrible since our fight, because I wish I hadn't brought it up like that."

"I don't get why we're scared to talk to each other sometimes. It happened when you couldn't bring up your stress about being a Healer to me. You ended up bottling things up back then too. It happened when we were teens as well. We always say we'll talk to each other more, but then we just let things get to the point that we blow up at each other again," I said.

"Yeah well, I think a good part of that is my fault," Ben said with a sigh. "For the most part, you've never been afraid to tell me things, and you've never had a problem with telling me off."

"And yet, you've never had a problem with telling other people off. It's just me that you can't be completely honest with you're angry with me, or if you're afraid it will upset me. You couldn't come to me to tell me that you didn't want to be a Healer anymore. You couldn't be honest with me for the last three years about that Halloween night," I said.

"This time is different than the Healer situation," Ben said. "I just didn't want you to think I was blaming you for Hailey. It's as you said, you associate Halloween night with your miscarriage scare. Think for a moment. If it had happened before we even had Alyssa, I would have been angry with you. If we didn't have any children at all, not even Hayden and you'd gone that night, I would have been pissed. It was not about Hailey, or the fact that the children could have lost their mother. They could have lost their father as well. I just did not want you to be there that night because you can't duel. When I left, I thought you were going to be safe at your mothers but you were there. If Don Zent had not been there, you might not be here right now. I just feel sometimes you don't respect my judgment or opinion. You just assume I'm trying to control you when I'm not. I just don't want to lose you, and you shouldn't have been there. They needed wands, but they needed people who could actually fight. You my dear, can't fight."

"Okay fair enough Ben, but at times you can come that way. You're absolutely right that I shouldn't have been there. You're also right about the sleeping potions, but you shouldn't have hid them from me. You should have just talked to me more about it," I said.

"Ashley, I talked to you about it but you wouldn't listen," Ben said. "Maybe I shouldn't have hid them, but I couldn't take it anymore with you taking them every night. I kept telling you how dangerous it was to take them, but you just did it anyway, and then you wanted to take one when we were drinking. I've noticed you've been sleeping fine lately. So you really didn't need the potions."

"Okay, the sleeping potion argument is mainly my fault," I admitted. "I think I even knew that at the time. You're right, I just jumped to the assumption that you were trying to control me."

"I just don't get why you don't think of your own health and safety, Ashley," Ben said. "With everyone else, you'll do whatever it takes to make sure that they're safe but you don't think of yourself. Sometimes I think you could have been Gryffindor. You're such a risk taker. You need to look after yourself as well as the kids and everyone else. You were even like that in school. Look what happened in our seventh-year. You took on all those tasks and let yourself get exhausted. It has to stop. You can't take care of everyone else if you're not taking care of yourself."

I smiled when he said that. It reminded me of when Neville Longbottom had told me the same. I told him this, and Ben nodded.

"I believe we've all been telling you that for years," Ben said to me. "I don't know how to say this without sounding as if I am throwing it in your face. You might take this the wrong way. What happened during your pregnancy should have been a wake up call to you. You felt terrible that you couldn't take care of the kids because of how tired you were. Once we got past that scare, and you got back on your feet after you had Hailey, you went back to your old ways. You weren't thinking about your healthy with the sleeping potions, you just started taking them so you could sleep. They can't be taken so much."

"You need to do the same Ben," I told him. "I hate to break it to you, but you do the exact same. It's why you ended up having the break down years ago."

"Fair enough, but I don't think I'm nearly as bad as you," Ben answered.

"It's not a competition," I reminded him.

We ended up spending a good part of the night talking about it. We had a few minor arguments, but nothing turned into a shouting match. I finally understood how he felt all those years ago however. For years, I had worried that he blamed me for what happened with Hailey, but now I knew he didn't. I still blamed myself though, I was sure I still would once she was our age and married with our own kids. Ben was right, I didn't take care of myself. I worried about everyone else's happiness before my own, and I never stopped to think about my health or safety. Given how protective Ben had always been about me, I should have known that even if we didn't have kids, he'd have been pissed at me. It hadn't been about Hailey at all. If I hadn't been pregnant, he still would have been angry with me.

I also knew that we needed to work on our communication with each other better, especially Ben. I remembered our fight back in second-year. Ben didn't take his own advice from that fight. It had always bothered him that I wouldn't speak up, but somehow over the years he'd turned into the one who wouldn't speak up. It was why he'd had his break down years ago, and it was why he had thrown Halloween night in my face during our last fight.

When I was a kid, I'd always believed that once we were adults we'd have it all figured out. I'd look to Ben's parents as examples of couples, and even my mother and step father. However, here we were almost thirty-years-old, and we could still be the same as we had been at thirteen. Would we ever get it right?

"We don't mind taking the kids when you two decide to go to Florida," Ellen told me after I'd told her everything a few days later in her kitchen.

She was at the moment working on a list for a party she was planning. It was going to be a little girls eleventh birthday, and her parents wanted to throw a huge party for her.

"Well we already promised Timmy and June," I told her. "We'll likely get Jared to take Hailey, but Timmy and June really want to take the kids."

"Well I am just glad that you two are finally working on all that," Ellen said. "Although from the sounds of it, it seems you two finally had a good talk about it."

"We did I believe," I said. "I still think it will be good for us to have a week away. I feel bad. I hate leaving the kids. It seems selfish just to pick up and leave like that."

"You haven't in years. I mean, sometimes we all take the kids for weekends but still. I used to feel the same way, but now I understand why Ben had to go away. Sometimes parents just need it. The kids are in school anyway. Hayden is at Hogwarts. I think it's the perfect time. You two take your week off. I think you're in need of it," Ellen said. "I know I sounded self-righteous when I told Ben off, but I was angry with him. After I cooled down, I could understand why he needed to take a vacation. The two of you haven't since Hailey was born. You've put the kids first. It's why Keith and I have started to get mum or dad to take the kids for a week or so. Even the perfect Hoofer parents did the same with their kids, and you said your mum used to do it too."

"I don't get why you always have to say things like that about Ben's family," I said.

"Well the family has perfection written all over them even though their the furthest from it," Ellen answered. "When I was a kid, I idolized them until I realized they weren't perfect at all. I think it's why Ben used to irritate me so much and we'd fight so much. The whole family, even Brianne, just has this perfect exterior but we know they're not."

"I think they just seemed perfect to us because we all came from broken family. Ben's family was just normal, but I know his parents fight, and the kids were definitely far from perfect. People have said the same about my relationship and we both know that's far from the truth," I said to her. "Sometimes I feel like you and Keith have the perfect family. You two don't fight, and your kids never act up unless it's the odd temper-tantrum."

"We fight a lot," Ellen said. "We just don't talk about it. The kids also act out more. I always feel the same with you. I mean, Hayden has his problems for sure but he's a good boy. He hasn't caused you two too much stress."

"He's also twelve," I told her. "Give it a few years. He promised Ben he wouldn't drink, and I believe him right now. I also made that same promise, but when I was fifteen I got drunk and had sex with Jared in a broom closet. Now with Rachel back in our lives, I have a feeling he is going to get angry and act out... kind of like you and Michael. Especially since we're deceiving him right now."

"What do you mean you're deceiving him right now?" Ellen asked.

"You know, because Rachel showed up at the train station, and we didn't tell him," I told her.

"I don't see that as deceiving," Ellen said. "Rachel asked you not to tell him until she told him."

"I worry that it's going to make him angry. We've always promised to be honest with him," I told her. "This isn't being honest. Hayden could have a set-back at any time."

"You shouldn't stress about that quite yet," Ellen said. "I'm starting to think Ben is right about you. This is why you need this trip. Hayden is actually a lot more laid-back than you realize. He has always been understanding. Right now, you are worrying over nothing."

"Ben is right that maybe I stress too much," I answered. "But not about this. We have a boy who will be a teenager next year. He had problems when he was nine, and I honestly believe the only reason he stopped is because of my pregnancy. He was scared the entire time. I just believe he is a bit of a ticking time bomb."

"I'm not disagreeing with you," Ellen said. "I remember the anger I felt when I was his age when mum and dad divorced, and we both remember Michael. I just don't think this is the situation that will set him off. This is something he'll accept because he'll see that you are getting along with Rachel."

"And if she doesn't contact him?" I asked her.

"I think it's something he'll bottle up," Ellen told me.

"But that's not good either Ellen," I said.

"Look, like I said, I am not disagreeing with you, but I don't think this is going to be as bad as you think," Ellen answered. "I think Rachel will contact him."

I didn't understand why I was the only one who saw what could potentially happen with Hayden. I didn't see the point in talking about it anymore. Anyone I talked to about it, including my own parents didn't think I needed to worry. I knew I worried too much about things, but I still felt this was something to worry about more than anything else. Everyone else acted as if I was stressing over something insignificant. Even Tasha and Michael, who had both been abandoned agreed that it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought.

So I just gave a small shrug and decided to change the subject. I didn't want to get myself frustrated for no reason, and talking about it with someone who disagreed with me (even if she claimed she didn't) was going to aggravate me.

"Maybe you're right," I finally said. "So has there been any change with Michelle?"

It was Thursday afternoon, and the next day Michelle was coming over for the weekend. Alyssa was going to my parents, and Michael and Shelly were taking Hailey.

"Not really," Ellen answered. "You know, I thought she'd be happy that she was now the oldest but she isn't. I really think it's Minnie and Hayden going away. She actually hates getting the kids after school even though that's her job now. I thought she'd be looking forward to the responsibility. I try to give it to her more since next year she'll be ten."

"That's hard to believe," I said. "I still remember when you found out you were pregnant with her."

Ellen smiled. "I was so terrified," she said. "I thought mum was going to kill me but she was okay with it. I'm just so scared about the girls now. What age are you supposed to have the talk with them anyway?"

"I think around twelve or once they actually get a boyfriend or girlfriend," I said. "Mum had the talk with me when Denver and I dated. I was thirteen but I already knew some things because of the older students and our dorm mates. I never wanted sex at that age," and then I looked at her. "You were thinking about it though."

"I know, and that's why I am scared about Michelle. She already has boys looking at her. It's obvious that Charles is in love with her," Ellen said. "I think Ben is right that they have a little relationship going on. It's not a big deal right now because they're nine, but in a few years I'll be worried. She asked me if she could start wearing makeup to school."

"Alyssa asks me every year," I said. "She sees us putting it on, but I tell her that she's pretty already. Every morning she pretends to apply it. I told her once she is in second or third-year at Hogwarts she can. That little girl is already growing up more than she needs to be. She is asking more and more about Hailey. I know we have to eventually tell her not right now."

"Michelle wants to know about that too," Ellen said. "I told her that you could tell her when you're ready. She wants to be grown up, but at the same time she gets upset when she has to be responsible."

I laughed. "Is that really surprising?"

Ellen shook her head with a smile. "Not really, no. I remember feeling the same way. I hated the responsibility of taking care of Timmy but I wanted to be more grown up. I always looked a lot younger than I was too. Now I wish I still had that problem."

"Well you're only twenty-seven," I said. "And you're extremely beautiful."

"But you could still pass for your early twenties," Ellen said. "A couple of women I know thought you were around twenty-four."

I wasn't so sure about that one, but I wasn't going to disagree with her. I thought I looked my age. I didn't think I looked younger or older than twenty-eight and I really didn't want to. Perhaps I'd feel differently when I was in my thirties, but my looks were the last thing on my mind lately. I remembered there had been a time when they had consumed my thoughts, but I didn't care anymore.

"I'm just scared of losing my looks," Ellen continued.

"I don't think you have to worry about that for a long time," I said. "I don't really get this. Ben has been kind of worrying about that too. He gets so proud when young women think he is younger than he is, or if he thinks he's handsome. I find it really amusing how much he enjoys it, especially since when we were younger he hated it. He was all flattered when he went to talk to Rachel because some nineteen-year-old was hitting on him. This morning, he asked me if I thought he was balding. He still has a full set of hair."

"You know, most women would be worried when that happens," Ellen said grinning. "I get jealous when women hit on Keith."

"Why?" I asked. "Ben loves me. He would never cheat on me. I know he will never stray. If the women get too close, he tells them to back off. He always shows off his wedding ring. So does Keith for that matter."

"I know, but I still hate it," Ellen said. "I've told you before that Keith has told Dan that he wishes he'd been with more girls before he settled. You know, I am the only one he's had sex with. He'd never say it to me, but I've overheard his talks with Dan and the other guys. I know he does love me but what if it isn't enough? Keith married me because he got me pregnant."

"Keith loved you from first year," I told her. "He was always too scared to talk to you, but he loved you. He didn't marry you because he felt obligated to. He would have married you regardless of Michelle."

"Yes, but it might not have been so soon. He regrets being so shy. He wished he'd taken Jared's approach to things, or even Ben's."

"Ben is more innocent than most people believe," I said. "He mainly just snogged in the corridors. He only slept with three girls and it was because he was jealous that others were getting some and he wasn't. He was planning to live like Jared in the fifth-year but then I confessed how I felt for him."

"Still," Ellen said. "None of the girls he slept with, and he did multiple times were serious. Keith just thinks he should have gotten more experience and it scares me sometimes. When you love someone, you aren't supposed to regret the ones you didn't sleep with. I regret the fact that I slept with so many boys at Hogwarts. At any time I could have ended up pregnant, and the same could happen to Michelle or Clarissa, or even your girls. It could even happen with Minnie."

"Or Hayden, lets not forget our boys here. They have potential to get said girl pregnant you know," I said. "Hayden could end up getting some girl pregnant. He is already a very handsome young man. That little Cynthia girl has it bad for him."

"Which one is Cynthia?" Ellen asked.

"The little blond one that keeps calling him Denny," I said. "She was his shadow for most of his pool party, but she always has been. He didn't invite all of his friends over often, but if he did, she'd be all over him. I think she has wanted him since they were six or seven. It's kind of cute, but I think he might be interested in her back."

"Has he talked about her?" Ellen asked. "I don't remember him ever mentioning a Cynthia."

"He doesn't talk a lot about her, but I saw the way he was looking at her at his party. He was staring at her the way Michael stared at you the first time he saw you in a bikini. He wasn't over the top of course, but I saw him staring at her. There were other girls in their bikinis but he wasn't watching their every move. It's cute but scary at the same time. Besides, he's written more about how upsetting it is that she's another house than he has about Minnie."

"It's odd thinking about that," Ellen said. "We've all always believed that it would be Hayden and Minnie. It's never entered my mind that they would like other kids. They are first-years though. It took you and Ben until fifth-year to realize it. I'm sure it will be the same with them, and this Cynthia girl will be history."

"Or they won't," I said. "They might always just see each other as brother and sister. Besides, Cynthia is a nice little girl. She is a good influence and she gets good grades. She's the type of girl I'd want him to bring him home."

"As opposed to a girl like me?" Ellen asked with a wink.

"You weren't that bad Ellen," I said. "I mean, you hated homework but you were always loyal to us, except when you were having your issues. I wouldn't mind if he brought a girl like you home."

"Really?" Ellen asked with a smile. "I'd hate for Elliot to bring home a girl like me. I was slutty, I wasn't always loyal and I failed all my OWLs. You're saying that out of loyalty to me, but I guarantee you'd hate for Hayden or the twins to bring home a girl like me."

She was right of course, but I knew Ellen well enough that there was more to her than her actions. I was hoping that if Hayden did ever bring home that kind of girl, I could get to know her well enough to see past that and realize she was a good person. I'd rather him bring home an Ellen than one of the snotty girls we'd put up with back in the day. Tara was a friend of mine now, but I wouldn't want my boys to end up with the old Tara. I'd hate to think of a girl so obsessed they'd resort to a love potion, or a boy for that matter.

"I think Michelle will have more sense than you did," I told her. "I'm not saying you won't have problems with her, but she's always been good about school work. You never were, even in primary school you weren't."

"Because I've made my kids take primary school seriously," Ellen said.

"Exactly. I love your mum, but that was one of her mistakes with you. She just let you coast through primary school and you didn't pick up on the study habits you should have. It was the same with my mum. Kids learn that at an early age. It's why the Hoofer kids were so intent on studying, especially Ben," I said. "We've been doing the same with ours, but we've also been teaching them not to work to the intensity that Ben did."

"And it's why Timmy did better than I did," Ellen said agreeing with me. "When mum noticed that my study habits were really bad, she made sure that he did well in school. I'm trying to teach Michelle the opposite of what I did. I don't want her to be Ben like, but I want her to succeed. I just wish she'd talk to me. I hate seeing my little girl seem so depressed."

"Well I'll see if I can get to the bottom of it," I assured her. "I have a feeling this is a girl thing, so I am going to have a girls night with her. Ben needs to get away anyway. He's going to spend time with her too, but tomorrow night he's going out with the Hufflepuff boys."

"I know," Ellen reminded me. "Keith is going too, and it's going to just be me and William. Tara is taking Clarissa and Elliot is going to be with Shelly... I still can't believe she loves taking all three of them with a baby."

"Sheila is going to be there too," I said. "But yes, I can't believe it either. They can wear you out."

"Why is Sheila going to be there?" Ellen asked.

"Because they're sisters, and they're talking about Sheila's new house. More and more people want to move out here. People are starting to claim their land now. Hank is thinking about selling his house and building a place out here. He's always felt guilty living there considering his parents weren't honest when they bought the house. I don't get why they had to buy the house in full."

"I've always believed that was wrong too," Ellen said. "He has been paying them back secretly though."

"True, but he'd still rather just move out. I'm surprised it's taking people this long to move out here. I think soon we'll have our Hufflepuff group back. Even Morgan is talking about building here," I said.

"Well, no offence, but not everyone married someone with a trust fund," Ellen said. "We only got this place because Keith's parents put down the money for us first. Not everyone can afford to buy land and build a house. They had to save up for it first."

"We actually had the money before he got-" I began but Ellen smirked at me and shook her head.

"I know Ashley, but you would not have been able to afford your monstrosity without the trust fund. If you'd never had it, you'd have an average house. You two were able to put down a good down payment and work from there. You'd still have decent money without his trust fund, but it wouldn't be what it is now. I'm not trying to start a fight with you. I'm just explaining why it's taking other people longer. I'm just surprised Jared isn't getting a place out here. He should have the money for sure. I don't know where is getting all the money from, but he definitely has the money."

"He plans to," I said. "He's just really creative. He's been selling ideas to the Weasleys as well. I'm not the only one working for them. A lot of people are, and the Weasley's are always sure to give credit. He's into kids games. That card game he gave the kids isn't his only idea. I never would have thought he'd be so in touch with what young kids enjoy, but he does. He's even thinking of children's books. It's a different side to him than we've ever known."

"I think he wants his own family," Ellen said. "He just hasn't found the right girl yet. He still isn't over you, and he compares them all to you. He could have had something good with that Leanne girl. She wanted kids too, but he found fault with her like usual."

"She told him to choose her over Hailey," I said. "Besides, she dumped him when he chose Hailey. He would have given her what she wanted if she was prepared to wait. They were together less than a year and she wanted kids and marriage."

"Well I can understand his point. I didn't know all that, but if Jared wants a girl to wait a few years, he is going to have to pick a young one. Leanne is at the age where she wants a family. The young ones aren't ready to settle but an older girl around our age does."

"Jared doesn't want meaningless relationships anymore either. He just wants a girl who is on the same page that he is," I said. "Anyway, being young doesn't mean anything. Look at us. We married out of Hogwarts. So did most of our friends. It depends on the girl. Someday we'll be at his wedding. Besides, I am pretty sure he isn't still in love with me."

"I think he is. I think he'd love Hailey regardless, but sometimes I think he sees her as yours and his baby," Ellen said.

"That's ridiculous," I said. "He's good with all of the kids. He's even good with your kids. He adores all three of them. He just loves Hailey so much because he is her godfather. He was so touched when we named him, and he is just taking his responsibilities seriously. I don't see it that way at all, even if he still does love me. He is just devoted. It's why I know he'll make a good father when he eventually does have kids. Our kids, especially Hailey is just practice for the real parenthood."

"If you say so," Ellen said. "Anyway, promise that you will tell me what Michelle tells you, even if she asks you not to. I won't pry if she asks you, but I just want to know what's going on with her. She's not herself and it will bother me not knowing. I won't try to interfere with your relationship with her. I do know she'll come to you with things that she won't with me, but I hope when it's serious that you'll talk to me."

"I will," I said. "But Ellen, she's a nine year old girl. How bad can it be?"

"I'm meaning in the future too," Ellen said. "Let's just always agree on that. I know the kids are going to tell us not to tell each other what they tell us. I just think we should be in agreement that we will tell each other but we won't interfere because we know the kids trust us. Hayden never told me not to tell you, but if he had, I would have asked you not to tell him I told."

"I agree, unless it's something serious. If it's something very serious, such as a pregnancy for example, we tell them that we're not keeping it secret," I said. "We should tell that to the other parents to be honest. We should all be in agreement about that."

"Agreed," Ellen said. "Even if it's just something silly like a crush, I want to know what's going on with the kids."

"Oh me too," I said. "Hayden has already gone to you once, so he might again. You're Alyssa's godmother and this weekend you're taking William. You might get some insight into his little mind."

"We're going to have a movie night too," Ellen said. "I have the Ice Age movies. I know he loves them."

"I'm just glad Michelle isn't into Frozen," I said. "I have Disney movies but thankfully she doesn't care for Frozen anymore."

"I think she still likes it, but she's too cool to admit it," Ellen said.

"Well, we're going to watch some of the girly movies I grew up with," I said with a smile. "I told Alyssa that Frozen is broken right now."

Ellen giggled. "I might do the same with Clarissa. I'm sick of that movie too. I just need a break from it."

"Me too, which is why I lied."

The next day, I worked on getting snacks ready for our evening. I was actually looking forward to spending the night with my nine year old goddaughter. I loved having Michelle over and it had been a while since we'd spent any time together. She'd spent a few nights over during the summer but we really hadn't had the chance to really hang out. I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity because in a few years, she'd be at Hogwarts.

Ben was excited for a night out with the guys. They were all going over to Jared's first to pre-drink, and then they were going to hit up the pubs. Apparently they were now too old and cool for the Dragon's Breath. They were actually going to a place in Hogsmeade that had opened up a couple of years ago. It didn't allow any of the Hogwarts students in, not even the seventeen and eighteen year olds. I'd never been there, but apparently it was geared for the older crowd and the younger ones usually avoided it anyway.

"I wonder how Hayden would feel knowing that I am so close," Ben said to me with a grin as he got ready.

"Well he'd probably want you to pull him out of school to take him to Hogsmeade," I said. "So would Minnie for that matter."

"Well, by the time we get there, the kids should be in bed," Ben said with a smile. "One of these nights we should all go out there. I think you'll like it better than the Dragon's Breath. It's not full of nineteen year olds or Hogwarts students."

"So you won't be getting hit on by beautiful young women," I asked him. "That's a shame."

"I'm sure I'll get over it," he told me. "Have a good night with our goddaughter. I'm headed to Jared's in a moment. He's planning a party before we even go out."

"Well, I'll be sure to take advantage of you when you get home," I said and kissed him. "Have a good night."

"That's an incentive to come home," Ben said and he kissed me back before he turned and left the room.

I heard a loud crack signalling that I had the house to myself. It was very rare that I was ever alone anymore. I wasn't sure what time Ellen was sending Michelle over, but I figured I should take advantage of my alone time while I could. At times I missed the days when I could just be by myself without someone around asking for something, or Ben hovering over me. After I'd had Hailey, it had taken almost a year before Ben would let me be home by myself, with or without the kids. He didn't hover as much as he did back then, but he still did quite a bit, especially after our fight. I knew he was feeling terrible for bringing up Halloween night, and causing me to cry.

It always seemed strange in that house all by myself. I checked my message parchment for any messages. It had been going off earlier while I'd been preparing snacks. I unrolled it to see messages from my mother, sister, Ellen, Hayden and surprisingly Hermione. Even though we both worked at the Ministry, I hadn't really seen her since she'd been at my place. We were both so busy in our departments that if we did see each other, it was only in passing. I was assuming she was just checking up on me because of Harry. I wasn't even sure how she had my number. I'd switched parchments since the last time we'd talked to each other.

Ashley, it's Hermione Weasley. Harry told me that he ran into you at Kings Cross on Monday. I was just checking up on you. I know all about what happened with your pregnancy, and I am happy to hear that you and your little girl are fine. In case you're wondering, I got your number from Michael. I hope that is okay. I've wanted to talk to you at the Ministry but we never seem to be on the same schedules. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch some time to catch up.

I'd love to. Maybe we can schedule next week. How does next Wednesday sound?

Next week isn't good for me, or the week after. How does the twenty-fourth sound to you? I'm booked with clients until then.

Sounds good to me. The Leaky Cauldron?

I was surprised that she wanted to meet up, but I didn't have too much time to ponder because I heard small footsteps running, and moments later Michelle appeared smiling up at me. She was wearing a pink dress that I had bought her for her birthday.

"Hi Auntie Ashley," she said. "William was throwing a temper-tantrum when I left."

"Well your mum can take care of it," I answered her. "He's hers for the weekend. So are you ready for a girls night? We can watch movies and indulge ourselves with junk food."

"I can't wait," Michelle said. "Mum knew that we were going to eat a lot tonight, so she didn't make a big dinner. Can we watch the Princess Diaries?"

"Yes of course," I said. "Why don't you go get the first movie ready, while I get our snacks ready."

"Okay!" Michelle said and she turned and ran into the living-room while I finished up our smorgasbord.

When I entered the living-room it was to find her sitting on the couch with the blu-ray remote in her hand. I placed the tray on the table and then took a seat beside her.

"I've been looking forward to this all week. We need to do this more often," Michelle said.

"I agree. You can come over more on weekends. You just let me know when you want to have a sleep-over and we'll set up the guest room for you," I told her.

Michelle nodded and started the movie. We sat together eating some chocolates while we watched Anne Hathaway make a fool out of herself when she was supposed to give a speech.

"Auntie Ashley, if I ever wanted to come over during the week for a few days could I?" Michelle asked. "Maybe I could stay with you for a while like Hayden does but not forever."

"You always have a room here," I answered wondering if she was going to confess her problems to me now. "You're always welcome. I thought you knew that."

"But maybe someday I'll want to stay longer than a weekend," Michelle answered. "If I wanted it to be longer than a sleep-over I mean."

"Is that what you want to do right now?" I asked her.

"No not right now," Michelle said. "Sometimes I don't want to be at home though. I know that Hayden is your godson and you let him stay before he moved in with you. I don't want to move in. I just want to know if I needed to be here for a few days that I am allowed."

"Of course you are," I told her. "Is there a reason why you're asking? Is it the reason why you've been sad lately? I noticed this summer that you seemed kind of upset about something."

"No, that's not the reason," Michelle told me. "Everything at home is okay right now. I just wanted to make sure I could. Someday I might want to be here instead of at home."

I wondered if things were going wrong at her home. Ellen had confessed that she was worried about Keith, and that they do fight. Perhaps things weren't going too well with them lately. Were they fighting a lot? Did it make her uncomfortable to be at home? Kids usually picked up on things, even if we adults tried to be discrete.

"Are there times when things aren't okay at home?" I asked her.

"Things are okay, but sometimes they aren't. It's just sometimes Clarissa and Elliot can be so annoying and I just want to get away, especially lately with a new baby coming," Michelle said. "I just want to know if after the baby comes I can stay here."

"Ellen is having another baby?" I asked her with shock. "Since when."

"I heard mum and dad talking about it," Michelle said. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything yet. They were talking about rooms and everything. Mum doesn't want me to share a room because I'm the oldest."

"Well I won't tell your mum that you told me," and this was a promise I'd keep for Michelle no matter what. I was going to let Ellen come to me with this news. I just wasn't sure what I'd tell Ellen when she wanted to know why Michelle was sad. "And this is why you've been sad?"

"No, I don't mind another brother or sister," Michelle told me with a shrug. "It's just sometimes they are annoying and I want to get away from them. I remember when Clarissa was a baby and when Elliot was. They cried all the time. Sometimes I might want to stay here especially because Clarissa and Elliot can be annoying and so will the new baby."

"That's fine with me Michelle," I said with amusement now. "But you do know that you'll be staying in another house full of kids right? I mean, the twins love to annoy Alyssa. I'm sure the girls might not want to leave you alone either. Hailey definitely has her temper-tantrums at times."

"I know but they'll leave me alone if I ask them to," Michelle said. "It's not the same because they aren't my brothers and sisters. The twins actually listen to me, and Alyssa has never annoyed me. I think I can handle Hailey."

"Well you're always welcome here, but we'll have to make sure it's okay with your mum too you know," I said.

"I know. I just wanted to make sure. You did the same for Hayden and I want to be able to come here too if I can," Michelle answered.

"You don't feel left out do you?" I asked her. "I know sometimes you don't get to come over as much. I also know Clarissa is over more because of Alyssa. Also, Hayden's circumstances are different, and that's why he lives with us."

"I know all that and I don't feel left out," Michelle answered. "I know I can come over if I want to. I just wanted to make sure I could stay too if I wanted to."

"So why are you so sad then?" I asked.

Michelle didn't answer me, she just looked back the telly. We were at the part where Mia was getting upset with her mother for keeping it from her that she was really a princess. I didn't think that she was going to answer at first. I didn't want to push her either, so I looked back at the telly and reached for a gram cracker. It got to the part where Mia was in the limo on the way to school when Michelle turned back to me.

"Hayden is gone," she finally answered.

"But he'll be back for the Christmas holidays," I told her. "Besides, you two never really hang out."

"Because Hayden has never really liked me, but at least I could still see him," Michelle told me. "Now he's at Hogwarts and he'll change even more and he'll meet even more girls."

Michelle didn't have to say anymore. I understood everything now. She had a crush on Hayden, and he never gave her the time of day. It had bothered her that even during the summer when she'd wanted to hang out with him, he'd ignored her. Now he was at Hogwarts, and they'd see each other even less and he'd be moving on with his life even more. There were girls there he'd see more than her as well.

"What about Charles," I asked her. "I thought he was your boyfriend."

"He's a nice boy but I like Hayden even more," Michelle answered. "It doesn't matter because he'll never like me anyway."

"You don't want that kind of attitude Michelle," I told her. "You are already a beautiful little girl, and I know you're going to grow into a beautiful young lady. You have to remember that Hayden is twelve and you're nine. You are just a little girl to him. A relationship at nine is not going to last anyway."

"I know," Michelle said. "I think Charlie might break up with me soon anyway. There is a new girl in our class and I think he likes her more. I never thought I'd marry him, so I don't care."

"Well that's good because you're too young for that anyway," I told her. "At your age, relationships aren't serious, but when you're older they will be. A twelve-year-old isn't going to take a nine-year-old seriously. You want to be with a boy you really like when you are older and it's more serious."

"But Hayden might not like me even when I am older," Michelle answered.

"You don't know that," I said. "He's not always going to see you as a little girl."

"So do you think I should wait around for Hayden to like me?" Michelle asked.

"No," I answered. "Maybe someday your feelings might change, and you won't like him anymore. You don't want to sit around and wait for a boy. I just don't like hearing you take that kind of attitude. There was a time when I thought Ben would never like me, and it turned out he did. When we were twelve, he would never have dated me but he did when we were sixteen. When you say something like: 'he'll never like me anyway,' you're giving up before you've even tried. I don't want to give you a false hope, but I think someday when you're both older and you still like him, you should try. You might be surprised. For now, I think you should worry about growing up a little more. If you like a boy later on, whether it be Hayden, or a boy in your class, I say go for it."

"I don't like any other boys right now," Michelle answered. "I think I should be single for a while."

"I think that's a good idea as well. There is nothing wrong with being single," I told her. "I don't think you should be so sad about Hayden."

"Do you think he'll ever like me, even as a friend?" Michelle asked.

"Maybe when you two are a bit more grown up," I said. "I don't think it's that Hayden dislikes you, I think it's just you are a child to him. Someday your ages won't matter, but right now they do. You see Clarissa as a little girl even though she's only two years younger."

"Seven is so much younger than nine," Michelle informed me.

"And nine is probably so much younger than twelve to Hayden," I said.

Michelle finally nodded with understanding. "Maybe you're right. Can we go back to watching the movie now?"

I nodded and I wondered if her problems would always be so easy to solve. I didn't even know if I'd given her the right advice or not.

"And Auntie Ashley?" Michelle asked. "Please don't ever tell Hayden."

"I won't, your secret is safe with me," I said. "But maybe you can talk to your mum. She is worried about you after all."

Michelle nodded and then reached for a pretzel. I'd never thought I'd be giving a nine-year-old relationship advice. Would she be coming to me for sex advice someday? The thought of that made me shudder inwardly. I wasn't even looking forward to talking to Alyssa about that, but it was worse with a child that wasn't even mine. Even now I felt as if I were stepping into Ellen's territory by giving Michelle relationship advice.

I was just glad that her problem was actually something quite simple, but then again she was nine. Her information had my mind buzzing however. Ellen was pregnant again? All I wanted to do was grab my message parchment and write to her, but I couldn't. I'd told Michelle that I wouldn't tell Ellen I knew. I was going to have to wait for her to tell me on her own. Why did all the women in our group always get pregnant at the same time? If it wasn't for the fact that Ben had gotten a vasectomy, I'd go get a test for myself.

After Michelle went to bed, I did pull out my message parchment anyway. I wasn't going to ask Ellen about her pregnancy but I was sure she was waiting on pins and needles at home. I wondered if she'd gotten more information from William too.

You have nothing to worry about with Michelle. She is just sad because she has a crush on Hayden, and he is gone to Hogwarts now.

Ellen didn't respond right away. It was only ten o clock. I couldn't help but wonder how Hayden was spending his first Friday at Hogwarts. What was it like in the Gryffindor Common Room? I'd never been inside it, but I knew they threw parties on Fridays and Saturdays as well. Was he trying his first sip of alcohol? Craig was in the same house as him, and he was one of those kids who would try his hardest to look cool. Would he be a bad influence on Hayden? I wasn't sure how much influence the other kids could have on him. He was never the kind of kid who let people push him around, but he was also at a vulnerable age and he had issues because of Rachel.

That's good. I was hoping it would be something that simple. It makes sense why she always hung out at your place instead of her friends. No wonder she has been sad. She'll move on. Thanks for finding out for me.

No problem. She just started to talk on her own. I really didn't have to ask. I did give her relationship advice. I hope you don't feel like I am stepping on your toes when it comes to that.

No, I understand. If it's about a crush, I figure you would have had to give her some kind of advice. Is she being good?

Yes, but she always is when she is here. What about William? Michelle said he was throwing a temper-tantrum when she got here.

Oh it was just about bed time. He was trying to tell me that you let him stay up until eleven. We worked through it. He was a good boy for the rest of the night. I talked to him as well. Your mum was right. He does feel that he gets left out a lot. He thinks that everyone gets attention more than he does, even Alyssa. He doesn't feel as if he gets enough alone time with you or Ben. He's also jealous that Hailey spends more time at Michael's when Michael is his godfather, and he wishes that Jared would take him over night sometimes too. He told me he loves Hailey, but she gets the most attention from everyone, and he doesn't.

It did make sense. There was a time when Jared always wanted to have the boys, even after Hailey was born, but lately, Jared only took Hailey for the night. It was also true that Hailey spent more time at Shelly's and Michael's more than the twins did. We were going to have to work on that when it came to the boys. Even I didn't worry about them as much as I used to because I used up most of my energy worrying about Hailey or Hayden. I felt awful thinking about how upset it was causing William to the point that he had to act out.

The rest of the weekend with Michelle went really well. She seemed happier when she went home. I was even more grateful for the fact that when she left, she looked at me and said:

"It's okay to tell mum that you know she's pregnant. I know you want to."

Ben looked at me the moment she went out the door.

"Ellen is pregnant? Why do you women all get pregnant at the same time?" He asked.

"I can't answer that," I said with amusement. "I do wonder if we're going to find out if anyone else is pregnant. Maybe one of your sisters will be."

"Well they are both trying," Ben said with a shrug. "Brenda wants at least one more, and so does Brianne."

"At least they'll all have friends when they go to school," I said.

"As long as it's not you," Ben said and pulled me close to kiss me.

"Well that's impossible," I said. "You had a vasectomy, and you're the only man I shag."

"Yes but stranger things have happened," Ben said. "A bloke I work with had one, but his ex-wife still ended up pregnant. You know of course he suspected she cheated and he made her do a paternity test. It turned out the procedure didn't take."

"Ex-wife?" I asked.

"Well she was furious that he didn't trust her, so she divorced him," Ben answered.

"And you're paranoid that I might be pregnant again because of that?" I asked. "I just finished my period Ben. Usually a missed period is the first sign of pregnancy."

"Some women still get their periods even if they're pregnant, I remember studying that," Ben insisted.

"So you really want me to take a test?" I asked with amusement.

"I can do the test myself," Ben said. "Will you humour me?"

"Go ahead," I answered with a smile. "You're not going to find a baby in me."

"You know the reason why I am worried right?" Ben asked.

"Of course, but I just think you're wrong," I said, "and that's why I find this amusing."

Ben pulled out his wand and began muttering some spells. And I am the one who stresses over nothing. I couldn't help but think. I stood still while Ben did the tests.

"Satisfied?" I asked when he finally stepped back.

"Yes actually," he said. "It's always better to be safe than sorry."

"Ben, I'm sure we'd know by now. We haven't used any protection in years. If you're that paranoid, why don't you just do a test? I don't want to have to go through this every time one of our friends or family members get pregnant," I said.

"I can't help but be paranoid," Ben said. "I know you find it funny, but the worst thing that can happen is for you to get pregnant again."

"I know Ben, and that is why you should go get the test done. I understand why you're nervous, but you're right, I do find it amusing to. Just make an appointment and check, but I think you're worrying over nothing. I think we'd know by now. I never started the birth control potion again, and I don't remember the last time we used the spell or you used a condom."

"Long before you got pregnant with Hailey," Ben said.

"I stopped taking the potion because we weren't having sex," I said, "and then we had that weekend to talk and that's when I got pregnant. We were so much into the moments that weekend that neither one of us cast the spell and you didn't use protection. We've had so many nights since then. I think it would have happened by now. We've never had trouble in the past. Aren't you supposed to check at least three months after the procedure anyway?"

"Yes, and I did check. It was fine when I went back to make sure," Ben answered.

"So you have nothing to worry about, but I really think you should double check if you're that paranoid. It will save you the stress, and we won't have to do the tests every time someone gets pregnant. Besides, I think June will be the next one. She and Timmy have been trying," I said.

"I know they're in their twenties, but that still seems odd to me," Ben said. "It's hard for me to think that they shag."

"Even after being at their wedding?" I asked. "You're going to have a hard time when the kids start-"

"Let's not talk about that," Ben said. "Don't you have to go harass Ellen about being pregnant? I think she's trying to beat us."

"They don't want more than four kids," I said. "This will be the last one, but I think Ellen always wanted a family like yours. You're right, now that I have permission, it's time to go bother her."

As the days went on, it didn't seem nearly as weird to not have Hayden with us. We definitely missed his absence, but we all got used to it. The kids no longer asked about him, but they did write to him on their parchments. I knew that Cameron had sent him a letter, but he hadn't received a response back. Ben and I decided it was best to just write him on Tuesday's, Thursday's and Sunday evenings. That way he had his Friday and Saturday's and he could also update us during the week.

He'd written to Rachel on the first day of school, but she didn't write back to him. I was slowly losing my patience as the days went by because she'd promised. I couldn't believe that she was actually going to ignore him. Not only had she lied to us, she was lying to him as well. Had our anger scared her from contacting him again? I wanted to write to her, to ask why it was taking her so long to get back to him. It was close to the end of September.

I decided to finally write to her, and then send the letter on the day that I was supposed to meet Hermione for lunch. I figured that gave her enough time to get back to her son.

"I really don't think it's a good idea," Ben told me.

"Well, I am doing it either way," I said to him. "She has had her chance. I am just giving her fair warning that we're waiting. She has until October first, that is the deal."

"I'm not going to stop you," Ben said. "Can I at least read over the letter before you send it. I know you. I know you're going to write a letter full of anger and it might put her off even more."

"You can even write it of you want. I just want her to know that we're waiting. Ben, it shouldn't be taking this long. It's almost as if she is testing us. If she claims that she loves him as much as she does, then she would have gotten back to him. He wrote to her on the second. It is now the twenty-first. If I don't get a response from Hayden before I meet up with Hermione, I am sending the letter," I told him. "She has caused enough trouble in our lives. I don't like being in this position."

"I know," Ben said. "Don't think for a moment I am not angry either, but Rachel has already shown that she can be heartless. She puts her feelings before anyone elses. I am willing to bet that if we hadn't spotted her that day, she would not have told Hayden. She's just a coward. She wants to know whats going on in his life without being involved. I just worry if we show too much anger, that she will take it out of him. She'll just ignore him, and he'll have that setback you're worried that he'll have."

"Yeah I know," I said. "Fine. You write the letter to her. You'll get through to her better than I can. If Hayden doesn't write to tell us that she contact him by my lunch-date, I am sending it."

"Fine," Ben answered sounding annoyed, and then he walked off muttering about Florida.

We'd booked the week off in October for our trip to Florida just the previous Friday. Work seemed more than happy to let me take the week off. When I went in to talk to my Head of Department, she told me to take as much time as I wanted off. I was surprised, but I also knew she loved me. I could have asked for a month off and I would have gotten it. Ben had an easy time as well. It was slow in his department, and a lot of the time they sent him to St. Mungo's or other places. It wouldn't pick up until around December.

Our friends and family had known for weeks since we'd been talking about it, and they all supported us. Timmy and June were more than happy to take the twins and Alyssa, while Jared asked if he could take Hailey for the week. Originally we were going to send all four together to give Timmy and June the experience they needed, but it was hard to say no to Jared. I figured Hailey would be happier with him anyways. The kids were the only ones who weren't supportive about this. They wanted to come with us too.

"I don't see why we can't have a week off of school," Alyssa said. "We can go get Hayden, and then we can all go to Florida."

"We'll all go when Hayden comes home," I said. "This is just a trip that your daddy and I are taking together. The three of you cannot miss school, and we can't pull Hayden out of Hogwarts. Besides, Hayden doesn't want to go."

When I'd written to Hayden about it, his response was the same as everyone elses. I was just surprised to see it come from a twelve-year-old.

It's about time. I don't know why you two haven't done anything before now. I like it here at Hogwarts, and I'll get to go in December. So will the kids. They'll get over it.

It was amazing how grown up he could be. I was surprised he felt the same that we should have worked on it years ago. I knew he'd known about Hailey, but I didn't know he knew about the stress it had put on our relationship. Perhaps it had been more obvious than we'd thought. I was glad to know that we had his support. I understood with the rest of the kids that they just wanted to go with us, and they were too young to understand that it wasn't just a vacation to us. I felt that William and Cameron were getting angry only because Alyssa was anyway.

"I could always take Alyssa you know," Ellen told me the day before I was supposed to meet Hermione. She'd come over once I'd gotten home from work. Ben had the kids in the living-room. "I'm sure Clarissa and Michelle would be happy to have her around for a week. Me being pregnant doesn't mean anything."

"That's not why," I said. "I'll let you take all five of them in December if you want. It's just Timmy and June wanted all four of them. They want the experience. I promised them a while ago."

"I guess that's a good thing then. They'll be getting the experience soon enough. I'd say let them take Mikayla with the kids," Ellen said.

"You're not saying what I think you're saying?" I asked her.

"But June doesn't know yet," Ellen said. "At least I don't think she does, or else they'd have told us."

"How do you always know?" I asked. "Have you ever been wrong?"

"Yes, I thought Sheila was pregnant when she wasn't. I thought her and Shelly were going to be pregnant together. Obviously she wasn't because we'd know. I could be wrong about June too, but this time I don't think I am. I'm going to tell her soon if she doesn't guess. I don't want her drinking or doing anything stupid. I still feel guilty because I didn't tell you," Ellen said.

"Well at least if your daughters get pregnant they can't hide it from you," I muttered ignoring her guilt comment. I'd forgiven her long ago, and she knew it. She had nothing to feel guilty over.

"Yes, that's always a good thing," Ellen said with a smile. "I just hope that never happens. I mean, if it does, I just want them to be out of Hogwarts with jobs and a good boyfriend."

I felt my message parchment vibrate in my pocket, so I pulled it out to check. I felt dread as I read over the message. I'd known this was going to happen, but of course no one had listened to me.

Why didn't you tell me that mum was at the train station? You promised to always be honest with me about her.

"Hayden is angry," I told Ellen and I showed her the message. "Rachel must have gotten back to him."

"Maybe not," Ellen said. "Maybe she didn't tell him the full truth. Tell him that she asked you not to tell you."

So I did quickly.

Doesn't matter. You promised to tell me the truth about her. You and Ben have always told me that you wouldn't lie. She is my mother, but your the ones who are taking care of me. It should have been the two of you who told me.

And the thing was, I knew he was right. I should have just told him the same day. Even if it had gone behind everyone's backs, I should have told him. I said this to Ellen who didn't answer. I wasn't sure what she was thinking. She'd been one of the ones who had disagreed with me.

"Maybe he's upset that it took so long," Ellen finally said. "Ashley, I don't think this is something you can talk to him over the parchment. I think you need to go to Hogwarts to talk to him."

"Not just me," I said. "I need Tasha, Barry and Ben too."

I cleared Hayden's message and quickly wrote to both Tasha and Barry. I wanted to go to him that night. I wondered if it would be possible to floo into Professor Sinistra's office. I didn't have her number, but Ben did. I excused myself from Ellen to go into the living-room to talk to him. He was sitting on the couch with all four kids surrounding him. They were watching some after school special.

"Ben, we need to go to Hogwarts tonight," I said.

"Why?" Ben asked as he shifted William off his lap. He got up and walked over to me.

"Hayden is angry about Rachel. She must have gotten back to him. You still have Professor Sinistra's number don't you?"

"I probably have it written down upstairs," Ben said and he turned to leave the room.

"We want to go to Hogwarts too," Alyssa told me.

"No, we're all going to hang out here until your parents get back," Ellen told her who had followed me into the living-room.

"But I want to go to Hogwarts," Alyssa said. "We never get to go anywhere."

"Alyssa, we need to talk to Hayden about something important," I told her. "You can go to your room if you keep arguing with me about everything."

Alyssa folded her arms angrily, but the other kids didn't seem to care too much. William and Cameron were still too focused on whatever cartoon was on, and Hailey was just simply too young to care. I was getting sick of her arguing about everything lately. She was getting frustrated because she wanted to be treated more grown up. It seemed with Hayden gone, she wanted to take his place... or her old place.

"You don't mind?" I asked Ellen as we heard too loud cracks in the kitchen.

"No, I know you need to take care of this. Give Hayden my love," Ellen said.

"I want to see Hayden," Alyssa pouted.

"Alyssa," I said with warning.

I saw her nostrils flare but she said nothing else. Barry and Tasha entered the room moments later with Trevor. William jumped up and ran over to greet his friend enthusiastically.

"Just how upset is he?" Barry asked me.

"I'm thinking angry enough that we need to go see him," I said and I checked my parchment to see if I had any other messages but he hadn't written anything. I supposed he was waiting for my response. I was sure he was getting impatient by the lack of communication. I wondered if Andrew and Minnie were trying to calm him down at that moment.

"I'm sorry about this," Tasha said to me. "You were right, we should have just said something, but I figured he'd appreciate that we were talking to Rachel."

"I think it has to do with the fact that it took so long," Ben said as he reentered the room. "I think if she'd just written back sooner, he would have accepted it. It's nearly a month later," and then he came over to kiss me. "I'm sorry babe, we should have listened to you. We trusted that Rachel would have written back to him sooner rather than later. Anyway, I told Professor Sinistra that we're on the way. She is going to summon Hayden. So we can floo into her office."

"Mummy, can I please just see Hayden," Alyssa asked as she hurried over to us. "Please! I promise I won't listen to grown up talk. I just want to see Hayden."

Ben sighed and looked at me and muttered in a very low voice. "You know what? It won't hurt to take her. We'll leave the others here, but she is the oldest, and she has been feeling left out too."

"Ben we can't always give in-" I whispered back.

"Just give her this one, okay? She's so frustrated lately because she wants more privileges than the other kids. We agreed that we were going to give them each the individual attention they want, and I don't think the other kids care anyway," and he nodded over at the twins and Trevor who were already getting out Jared's game. Ellen was already distracting Hailey.

"Alright," I said. "There is no time to argue, and I guess it won't hurt her to see her first glimpse of Hogwarts inside," and then I turned to Alyssa who was looking impatient. "You need to be a good girl. We're going over to talk to Hayden. This doesn't give you bragging rights over the twins."

"I know," Alyssa answered. "I just want to see Hayden. I'll be good and I won't touch anything I shouldn't. I just miss Hayden. I'll be good, I promise and if I am a bad girl then I don't get dessert for a week!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I quickly lifted her into my arms.

"Deal," I said.

I didn't know if it was a good idea really to bring her, but I didn't know how it could hurt either, except that it was giving in to her demands. The only thing I worried was that it might make her think that all she had to do was beg, and we'd let her do what she wanted. We hadn't in the past, but she could see this as a start. I wasn't in the mood to argue with her or Ben however.

So I just carried her over to the fireplace to throw in the floo powder.

"Professor Sinistra's office, Hogwarts," I said and I stepped into the flames.

I made sure to hang on tightly to Alyssa as we began to spin through the networks. Moments later, I stumbled out into an office I recognized but hadn't spent too much time in. Mainly I'd gone in to hand in homework assignments, and that was it. The office had the familiar smell of the castle that I missed. I set Alyssa down who rushed over to try and gaze out one of the windows.

Professor Sinistra gave her a stool to stand on wordlessly before she turned to me.

"Nice to see you again Ms. Dunning. I always enjoyed having you in my class. Not too many students stayed after the fifth-year."

Ben, Tasha and then Barry appeared moments later.

"I didn't realize it was a family reunion," she said as she took us all in. "What do we own this pleasure of a meeting on a Tuesday night? Is everything okay?"

"We need to clear things up with Hayden in person," I answered. "Alyssa, our oldest daughter wanted her first sight of Hogwarts."

"I wish I could come now," Alyssa said from the window. "Mummy, why do I have to wait until I am eleven?"

"That's just the way it works," I told her.

"I can see everything from up here. We're way up high!" Alyssa exclaimed.

"You know, someday I'll be your teacher. I'll teach you about the stars when you come here," Professor Sinistra told her and she glanced at us. "I could take her up to the tower while you have your talk with Hayden."

"Oh please, can I mummy and daddy!?" Alyssa exclaimed.

"If you go up there, you must listen to Professor Sinistra," Ben told her. "I don't want you leaning too far over the edge."

"I won't!" Alyssa said excitedly. "Can we go now, please!"

"So much for seeing Hayden," I muttered but not loud enough for her to hear. "Go ahead. We'll go up when we're ready for you."

Alyssa jumped from the stool excitedly and rushed over to take Professor Sinistra's hand. It was hard not to smile at her excitement. I could see Ben, Tasha and Barry grinning after her as well. It wasn't long after they left that Hayden, Minnie, Craig and Andrew entered the office. I should have known that he'd be bringing his friends.

"Mum! Dad!" Minnie said with surprise when she spotted her parents. "Why are you two here?"

"Because we're involved," Tasha said.

Minnie rushed over to give them a hug before turning to hug Ben and me as well. She was obviously not upset with us. Hayden was unreadable, but he always was. I glanced over at Andrew and Craig. Andrew gave me a sympathetic look and then he shrugged. Once Minnie was done hugging us, she stood very close to my side. I was surprised she wasn't with her mother.

"Why are all of you involved exactly?" Hayden asked as he folded his arms.

"Because we were all there when she showed up," Barry told him.

"One of you should have told me," Hayden said angrily. "I trust all four of you, but especially the two of you!" He shouted at Ben and me. "You all knew I'd want to know!"

"Hayden, she promised us that she would tell you," Ben said. "Ashley was all for going home and telling you, but Rachel asked us not to. She said that she wanted you to know from her. We told her that we would grant her that, but if she didn't tell you, all four of us would write to you. Your anger is understandable and I am sorry if you feel betrayed. That is the last thing any of us wanted to do to you."

"We gave her the benefit of the doubt," Tasha added. "We told her that she had until October first."

"You should have given her a week!" Hayden said but I thought he looked as if he were softening.

"You're right," I said. "She should have told you the moment she got your letter. Did she even tell you why it took nearly a month to get back to you in the first place?"

"She said it was the first time she could find the time to write me without anyone noticing," Hayden answered.

"Hayden, none of us were trying to deceive you. If I'd had it my way, I'd have written to you at that moment, but your mother asked us not to. She said that she wanted you to read it from her. I was going to send her a letter tomorrow to tell her that if she didn't write you soon, I was going to," I said. "I am sorry that you're upset and that you feel that you can't trust us."

"We tried telling him that you likely had a good reason," Minnie told me, who was still standing close to my side. It was as if she wanted to support me while Hayden yelled at us. "But as you can see, he was upset."

"Is this why we are being interrogated by four eleven-year-olds?" Barry asked with some amusement.

"Hayden wanted us with him," Craig said.

"Well, I am glad to see that you're good friends to him," I said mainly to Craig and Andrew. It was already a given for Minnie. "It's nice to know he has support when he needs it."

"I still don't think he should be writing to her at all," Andrew informed us.

"We agree, but we all know he will anyways," I said. "You know my son is stubborn and he'd go behind our backs."

I noticed Hayden stand taller when I called him my son. I could see the anger slowly disappearing.

"I guess I understand," he finally said. "It's just that you two have always promised to be honest with me."

"And if she hadn't asked us not to tell you until she did, I would have written you the moment we got home," I told him. "It seemed to mean a lot to her to tell you herself at the time. I just would like to know why it took almost a month. We're not hiding anything else about that day from you."

"But why did she have to hide?" Hayden asked.

"You'd have to ask her that," Tasha told him. "It shouldn't be us you're getting angry with, it should be her. We trusted her, and we did as she asked. It's Rachel who took all this time to write you, and it's Rachel who hid at the station, and it's Rachel who asked us to keep it secret. Maybe we shouldn't have, but as we told you, we gave her the benefit of the doubt."

"And we're truly sorry about that," Barry said. "I hope you'll still trust us, and that you'll still spend the nights at our place. We see you as one of our nephews and that isn't going to change."

"And I hope you'll still trust us," Ben said. "You know that Ashley and I would never deliberately keep information from you."

"I know you wouldn't, and that's why I was upset. I guess if mum asked you to, I can understand. I just would have liked to have seen her," Hayden said.

"And that's something you should tell her," I said. "You should tell her exactly how it makes you feel. I know you want a relationship with your mother Hayden, but you need to tell her that this makes you feel bad."

Hayden nodded and then as if he couldn't hold back anymore, he rushed over to throw his arms around me. I held him tightly. It had only been a few weeks, but I truly did miss him. I thought he seemed taller. After I released him, he turned to Ben next. I could hear Ben telling him how sorry he was.

"It's okay really," Hayden said as he stepped back. "Minnie and Andrew were right. I overreacted."

"What are we?" Tasha asked him. "Chopped liver?"

Hayden smiled and hurried over to hug them as well. While he was doing this, Professor Sinistra and Alyssa returned.

"HAYDEN!" Alyssa screamed.

Hayden turned and held out his arms to her. He looked surprised but happy to see her. She ran over over and jumped into his arms.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," he said happily as he hugged her tightly.

"I got to see everything!" Alyssa told him excitedly. "Professor Sinistra took me to top of the tower. There were people on the ground and they were like ants! You can see everywhere even Hogsmeade from up there. I wish I could see the rest of the castle."

"We want to save some of the surprise for when you're eleven," I told her.

"Honestly, I don't think it matters," Hayden said to me as he set her down. "I could see Hogwarts a million times but seeing it from across the lake will always be amazing."

"I agree," Minnie spoke up which caused Alyssa to yell in excitement. She rushed over to throw her arms around Minnie too. "We could always give her a quick tour of the castle, or at least the seventh floor. I came here before for the memorial but it doesn't change anything."

"Oh please can I see some of the castle?" Alyssa asked. "I'm already here."

I looked to Professor Sinistra to see if this was okay.

"I don't see why it would hurt," she answered. "I'm sure you'd like to visit with the children for a little bit. The Headmistress already knows that you are here. She said to take your time. I have some school work to mark, but if you'd like to take her around quickly, you may. The fireplace will be ready for your return."

The excited look on her face was enough to convince me that this had been a good idea.

"Why don't the three of you quickly take her around then," I said to Minnie, Andrew and Craig. "I'd like to talk to Hayden a little longer," and I turned to Hayden. "Do you mind talking a quick walking around with your old parents? It won't be too embarrassing will it?"

"No it won't be embarrassing," Hayden said.

"Okay let's go Alyssa," Minnie said and she held out her hand. "You have to stay with us the entire time. We'll show you around the seventh floor, and then we'll come back."

Alyssa eagerly took a hold of Minnie's hand. The four of them left together, while we led Hayden out of the office to talk to him more. I wanted to make sure that everything was indeed okay with us. He'd said he understood but I felt it was something we needed to talk to him more about. I wanted him to fully understand that Rachel could disappoint him again. I was still going to write to her anyway. It was a shame that this woman, who I'd once looked up to so much had turned into the person she was now. She just didn't seem to understand the consequences of her actions when it came to her son.

After a while, the conversation ended up being between Hayden and Tasha. The two of them had never really talked about her past. I didn't even know too much about it. She'd never really told me, and Ben hadn't gone into too much detail. I knew that while they hadn't abandoned her entirely, they had never made her feel welcome, especially during the war. While the Hoofer's had made sure to protect her parents during the year that You-know-who had taken over, she hadn't been welcome to stay with them. Instead, she ended up hiding out at one of Ben's uncle's. After the war, their relationship was even more strained. I knew she hadn't been to visit them in years. While she hadn't been fully abandoned, she had felt like she had been.

Ben, Barry and I let the two of them talk. We walked behind them, and reminisced about our years at Hogwarts. Ben pointed out different areas where we had snogged, and then it seemed to turn into a competition between Barry and Ben to point out the places they had snogged different girls. It was amusing, and I was tempted to join in to see if Ben would keep the same laid back approach I had with him when it came to me. I just thought it was lucky that Hayden wasn't paying attention to us.

When we returned to the Astronomy office, it was to find that Minnie, Craig and Andrew had taken Alyssa back up to the tower. Professor Sinistra was marking school work. It was dark by that point, so I was sure she wanted to see how the grounds looked by this point.

"Why don't you go up and get them?" I asked Hayden. "We'll wait here, and then we'll take off. We are okay, aren't we?"

Hayden nodded. "We're okay," he told me. "I just didn't like waiting so long to find out that she was there, but that's mum's fault. Not yours. You promised her you wouldn't tell me. I'm sorry I yelled at all four of you."

"It's okay mate," Barry said. "It's understandable."

"I'll go get Minnie and Alyssa," Hayden said.

He turned and left the classroom.

"Everything okay now?" Professor Sinistra asked.

"It's fine," Ben told her. "Thank you for letting us come. I know you aren't Hayden's Head of House, but I didn't know how to contact Neville Longbottom on such short notice."

"That's actually something we should look into," I said.

"Us too," Barry said.

"Well I can give you both numbers," Professor Sinistra said. "I'm afraid I won't be a teacher here for much longer, so I won't always be able to help you."

"You're retiring soon too?" Barry asked.

"Yes, I am getting along in my years, and I'd like to do some travelling. I'll be at Hogwarts for a few more years however," she answered. "I'll miss the castle and the students, but I feel my job is almost done here."

"Well you'll certainly be missed," Barry told her. "Astronomy was always one of my favourite classes."

"You were one of my best students. I was disappointed that you didn't stay for your NEWT years," she told him. "In fact, Ms. Dunning here is the only one out of the four of you who remained."

"Mrs. Hoofer," Ben quickly corrected her. "We're married now."

"Oh yes that's right. As a teacher I remember people as students unfortunately," she said. "It's one of those habits."

Alyssa, Minnie and Hayden ran back into the room.

"Are you ready to go home?" Ben asked Alyssa as he lifted her into his arms.

"Nope," Alyssa answered. "I want to stay forever. I like it here."

"It won't be that much longer before you're here," Hayden told her.

"And mummy says you'll be a fifth-year and I'll be a first-year," Alyssa told him.

"That's right," Hayden said and then he walked over to hug both Ben and Alyssa. "I'll see you at Christmas."

He turned to give me a hug. "I hope you two have fun in Florida. It's about time you relax. The kids will be fine without you, and I'll be fine here. I'll try to be good that week so you don't have to come back here."

"Well I hope we don't have to come here based on your behaviour," Ben said.

"Come give us a hug too," Barry told Hayden. "You too Minnie."

hThis time when we said good-bye to the kids, it felt easier, and I knew that it would be easier every time, not only for Hayden, but for the other children too.


	8. Chapter 8

"Judy is such a bitch!" Colin said as he slammed down his books on the bench.

It was just the beginning of Herbology class. Most people hadn't arrived yet, but I'd come early. I'd left early, feeling moody because yet again, I hadn't received a letter from mum. I'd spent most of the day just brooding on my own. My friends seemed to understand it because they left me alone, even Minnie. I was surprised to see Colin since he usually stuck with Patrick and Albert in class.

"What did she do this time?" I couldn't help but ask.

She went out of her way to be rude to anyone outside of Slytherin these days. She seemed to have forgotten all about her former friends. Not that I wanted anything to do with her. She would have to beg for my forgiveness for the insults she'd given not only me, but my friends as well.

"She tripped me down the steps!" He said angrily. "You know not all of my dorm mates, or even house mates like me. Slytherin house is kind of divided like that, but we all leave each other alone for the most part. Today she felt the need to impress her friends and some of the older Slytherins by tripping me. Everything she does is just to impress people. I'm so sick of her. If I had to share a house with any of you, I wouldn't have picked Judy in the first place, but now I wish someone else, anyone else had been sorted there with me."

"Does it really matter?" I asked him. "I mean, it's not as if we talk to each other much anymore."

"I know that. We're all talking to people in our houses more than each other, and our friendships are changing but that doesn't mean I want us to stop hanging out," Colin answered. "We've all been friends since primary two or three really. Maybe I'll end up closer to Patrick and Albert than you lot, but I still want us to to be friendly. All I am saying is that I'd rather have you or anyone else from our group but Judy. I never liked her much anyway. It was Cassidy and Minnie who insisted on including her all the time. I always thought if it weren't for them, she would have joined Colleen's gang."

"She's too much a bitch for even Colleen," I informed him. "Colleen hates her just as much as we do. She goes out of her way to be rude to people, but she would never call anyone a mudblood. Judy has taken it to a different level."

"Because she wants to fit in," Colin said. "Judy is impressionable. You'll notice she played the nice shy girl when she hung out with us. If she'd joined Colleens gang, she wouldn't use that word. Her parents fought on the good side for crying out loud. They'd be upset if they knew how she was acting. Maybe I should have hung out with her more, but I never liked her and the whining and crying made me like her less. Patrick and Albert couldn't stand her either."

"I don't think it would have made a difference," I said. "I think she was influenced by sharing a dorm with those girls. Where are Patrick and Albert?"

Colin shrugged. "Don't know. We're not joined at the hip. I went to the owlery and then that bitch tripped me, so I came here. I was surprised to see you here so early," and then he lowered his voice because some of our classmates were starting to join us. "How is Craig doing really? He's never had an easy time making friends. I always liked the bloke, but I always thought he was too easily influenced as well. I worried when we separated because I know you've never liked him much and I didn't want him around the wrong people. You don't seem to mind hanging out with him I see."

"He's changed. I think he learned that he didn't need to impress people to be their friends. His behaviour changes based on who he hangs out with too," I answered. "Besides, it wasn't that I didn't like him. I just hated how arrogant he could be."

"Well he could have easily ended up being another Judy," Colin replied. "I'm glad you and Andrew are a good influence on him."

I nodded. Andrew and Craig had entered the Green House by that point. They hurried over to the two of us. Craig smiled at his former best friend but then looked at him with concern.

"What happened to your face mate?" Craig asked.

I hadn't noticed, which showed just how observant I was, that Colin actually had a long scratch on his cheek. Now that Craig had mentioned it, it was quite obvious. Why hadn't I noticed it?

"Judy tripped me down the steps," he answered.

Across from us, we could see her with her little gang of Slytherin friends. They were pointing in our direction, and laughing behind their hands. How could they find something so immature so funny? Why did the girls put up with her? They had to know that it was just an act considering how much she'd cried her first couple of days.

"Bitch!" Craig yelled across the Green House to her.

Professor Longbottom wasn't there yet, so we didn't have to worry about him lecturing us. All Craig's outburst did was cause the girls to laugh even more.

"Keep laughing Judy!" Andrew called out to her. "All of us know you're just a fake."

"Exactly!" Craig agreed. "Oh boo hoo! I got sorted into Slytherin."

"I seem to recall you saying: 'I was never meant to be a Slytherin,' and even before you were sorted there, you said you'd get back on the train to go home," I added.

"I really don't appreciate a pair of mudbloods talking to me," Judy sang.

As she said this, Professor Longbottom entered the greenhouse. He was covered in mud, but that wasn't unusual. I'd known him for almost a month now, and he never seemed to be clean. I guess it came with the job of being a Herbology teacher.

"I don't appreciate hearing that word in my class Ms. Turner," Professor Longbottom said. "I don't believe your parents would appreciate it either. I happen to know your parents, and I know they'd be furious. Tonight you can serve detention with me. You will also write me an essay about the prejudices behind that word. I'm sure you don't know the true meaning of it, but after detention with me, I believe you'll have a better understanding of it."

Judy's face turned red and then she pointed in our direction.

"They started it!" She said. "They were trying to fight me."

"Trying to fight you?" Colin asked. "Look at my cheek!" He pointed at the long scratch running down his cheek. "They were defending me after you did this to me."

"Is this true Ms. Turner?" Professor Longbottom asked.

Judy looked down at her shoes. The greenhouse had grown quiet by that point.

"Well, I suppose a weeks worth of detentions will help you learn why violence is also wrong," he said. "I'm very disappointed in you. Now, let's get today's lesson started."

The days lesson ended up being four to a tray, Colin stayed with us instead of joining Patrick and Albert. I was surprised by this, but didn't ask him why. Perhaps he missed us more than I'd realized. It was like old times as we all laughed and talked. I noticed some of the arrogance in Craig, but this time I didn't feel annoyance. This time I found it enduring because I understood.

Halfway through the lesson, Professor Longbottom walked over to join us. For a moment I was worried that we'd get detention as well. I was sure after Judy had pointed us out that he knew we'd been in some kind of argument.

"This arrived in my office this morning Mr. Hoofer," he said as he handed me an envelope.

I knew automatically who it was from. I was expecting two letters, one from mum, and one from Cameron apparently. This one was obviously from my mother because it was in a muggle envelope. On the front of it was just my first name and my house. I recognized my mothers hand writing.

"Thanks," I said.

I wondered why the owl had delivered it to Professor Longbottom instead of me.

"I guess it was found in the muggle post office," Professor Longbottom continued. "We have some wizards who work there, just in case. We know sometimes muggleborn parents like to write to their children, but they don't know how to use an owl, so they resort to the muggle mail. They sent it to my office this morning."

"Thanks," I said and as he walked off, I looked at my friends. "I guess that is why it took so long to get here. I thought she had an owl call."

I could see Craig and Andrew looking at each other disapprovingly but they didn't say anything. I decided I would read the letter later. I pocketed quickly. As I did, I thought of Cameron. Ashley had told me that he'd written to me his first week of school. Where was his letter? I was actually looking forward to a letter from him, even if it was just a picture or something. I missed my family. I hoped it came soon. Sometimes the twins borrowed Ashley's or Ben's parchments to write me as well, and he'd asked in his latest message if I'd received it. I hoped it would arrive soon.

"Who is that from?" Colin asked. "Who would write to you through the muggle mail?"

"My mum," I said.

"Your mum?" Colin asked.

He looked confused but he didn't press for details. I figured he could tell from the unhappy looks from Andrew and Craig that it wasn't a subject we should discuss at that moment, so he gave a shrug and continued with our work. I was eager to know what she had to say, so I couldn't wait for class to be over.

As we left the greenhouse, Judy stomped over to us with anger.

"Thanks a lot for getting me detention!" She said angrily. "Some friends you are."

"Friends?" I asked. "Friends don't call each other mudbloods or make fun of each other. You turned on all of us for no reason at all."

Judy let out a sniffle. "I've never meant any of it. I just did what everyone said I should. I am trying to fit into Slytherin house. I should never have been sorted there, but it's where I am, so I have to do what I can to fit in."

"Really?" Colin asked furiously. "I was sorted there too, but you don't see me turning on our friends. I don't trip people down the steps to impress others. The only people you are impressing are the wrong kinds of Slytherins. There are good people in our house too. You could have hung out with Kyleigh and Bessie but you ignored them. I would have looked out for you if you'd have let me."

"You were tired of me crying all the time," Judy said in a small voice.

"Yes but I would have still stuck by your side anyway. However, you went and began hanging out with Christina, Francine and Gretchen. I've never liked you much, but I would have looked out for you if you'd have let me," Colin said.

"I just need people to like me, and they are the ones I am going to be with for the next seven years," Judy said. "Patrick never would have tolerated me. He's hated me since Primary one. Look I'm sorry. It's all just as act, but I don't mean any of it. So maybe we can just be friendly in secret."

"I am not going to forgive you for tripping me down the steps," Colin said. "We're done. I don't want to talk to you at all. Now if you'll excuse me, my friends are waiting for me," and he turned to Craig, Andrew and me. "I'll see you lot later."

He turned and stormed off. Judy gave us hopeful eyes, but I wasn't forgiving either. The term mudblood was very offensive, and she was using it against me just to impress some stupid girls. We'd been friends with her longer and she was so quick to turn on us. I knew Ashley had gone through something similar in her first-year with her friend Denver. I never understood why she forgave him for that. I understood exactly what a mudblood was and that people had lost their lives over that word.

"I don't want anything to do with you either. You blew it," I told her. "Have fun with your new friends, but stay away from us. You'd better not ever hurt any of us again either."

"Is that a threat?" Judy asked. "You can't do anything to me. I'll tell if you hex me or-"

"Don't have to hex to make a persons life miserable," Craig interrupted her. "I'm sure we could turn your Slytherin friends against you if we wanted, and that would leave you completely alone. Those girls aren't loyal to you, and it won't be hard to convince them not to be your friend. So I'd watch it."

And with that, he turned to walk off with Andrew and me following. I didn't think he was actually going to do anything, but I doubted Judy knew that. We could hear her sobs behind us. I never wanted to be her friend again, and I felt that was punishment enough. She'd lost some good friends for some girls who would back stab her in a second.

"You don't think those girls are threatening her or anything do you?" Andrew asked once we were a good distance away.

"No," Craig said. "She's just doing what she can to fit in. She did it with us too, remember? It's only because of Cassidy and Minnie and maybe Cynthia that she even started hanging out with us. Before that, she almost hung out with Colleen's group. I'd say it would have almost been better if she'd hung out with Colleen."

"Colleen isn't any better. Maybe she'll never call someone a mudblood, but she's still a bitch," Andrew said. "At least we're seeing peoples true colours coming out now."

I waited until we were in the Great Hall to open my letter from mum. I wondered why she would use the muggle post office as opposed to an owl. I had a hard time believing that she never had a moment alone, even if she was married. She could have summoned an owl easily. I remembered when I lived with her that she liked her alone time, even if she was in a relationship. Perhaps some things changed about people.

I ripped open the envelope quickly, and pulled out the letter.

Dear Hayden.

I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. I have hopes that this letter will get to you quickly. I haven't had a moment to sit down to write between work, the house work, and my family life. I'd like to congratulate you on getting into Gryffindor. I don't know much about the Hogwarts houses but I know some things from what Ashley told me. Ashley told me enough about Hufflepuff for me to know it suited her, but somehow I don't think it would have been your house. I think I remember Ashley saying that Gryffindor was for the brave students, and from what I remember I think I would describe you as brave. I'm not surprised Minnie was sorted to Ravenclaw. I remember back in the day that everyone thought Ben should have been sorted there.

I hope you're having a good time there. I know Ashley loved it there, and I think you will too. You're finally able to control your talents, and it's why I know I made a good choice for you, even if most people disagree. Your sister is fine, and no she is not magical whatsoever. As I told you before, that all came from your father's side. She's going to grow up normal.

Now I know this last bit may upset you, but I promised Ashley and Ben that I would tell you. I went to the train station to see you off. Even though you didn't see me, I waved at you good-bye. I wanted to see you. I ran into your godparents and Minnie's parents there. I could see you were quite excited to go to Hogwarts. I look forward to your next letter.

Rachel.

Instant fury went through me when I thought about Ashley and Ben. They had written to me many times, but they had not mentioned anything about mum. How could they not have told me? Why didn't Barry and Tasha tell Minnie?

"Hayden?" Andrew asked as I slammed down my fork. I had barely eaten dinner.

"Mum was at the train station and Ashley and Ben didn't bother to tell me!" I said angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Craig asked.

Angrily I shoved the letter at him. Craig set down his fork and began to read the letter. Andrew leaned over to read it over his shoulder.

"Maybe they have their reasons for not telling you Hayden," Andrew told me.

"Like what?" I asked furiously but I didn't wait for him to answer. "It's probably just to protect me again like usual. I guess they didn't expect that she'd write to tell me. I'm still just that eight year old boy to them!"

"What if your mum told them not to say anything," Craig said to me and then he turned to Andrew. "You'd better go get Minnie."

Without saying a word, Andrew got up and left the Gryffindor table to cross over to the Ravenclaw one. I reached into my bag to pull out my message parchment to write to Ashley.

Why didn't you tell me that mum was at the train station? You promised to always be honest with me about her.

I wrote furiously. I saw that the message disappeared so I knew she must have had it on her. I waited for whatever excuse she had, and I hoped it wasn't going to be that she wanted to protect me. She knew I wanted every update when it came to mum. She'd told me years ago that she'd always be honest with me when it came to mum and certain other things. She could no longer protect me. I'd lost that innocence years ago. I felt older than twelve at times.

Hayden, I would have told you but Rachel asked us not to tell you. She said she wanted to tell you herself. We ran into her right after the train left.

I didn't care. Ashley or Ben, or even Minnie's parents should have told me. They were the ones who were taking care of me, not mum. So it should have been from them. Even if she had told them, they should have told me when it seemed mum wouldn't tell me. They knew I would have written to them the moment she told me she was there. It was almost the end of September. Why hadn't they told me?

Doesn't matter. I wrote. You promised to tell me the truth about her. You and Ben have always told me that you wouldn't lie. She is my mother, but your the ones who are taking care of me. It should have been the two of you who told me.

I waited for a response back, but she didn't write anything even though I knew that she'd read my message. It had disappeared. I felt even more fury because now she was avoiding me. I knew that likely she was going to talk to Ben to see what they should do about this situation. I didn't want that. She should have just written back to me right away.

"Hayden, what is going on?" Minnie asked as she approached the table with Andrew.

I explained everything to her, including the message from Ashley.

"But if your mum asked them not to tell you, then they respected her wishes and did so," Minnie said. "Your mum should have told you that in the letter. I don't think it's Ashley or Ben you should be upset with, or even my parents. You know that they would have all told you the moment they got home if they could. It's what your mum wanted."

Minnie was my best friend, and she was supposed to be on my side but she didn't get it, and I could tell from the looks that Craig and Andrew were exchanging that they didn't get it either. Mum had abandoned me, she was not my mother anymore. Ashley and Ben were my parents now, and as my parents they were supposed to tell me the truth. They knew how I felt about her. They should have just ignored her request, or at least told me after a week or so. I hated being mislead by the people who I trusted the most.

I explained this to my friends, but they all disagreed with me, and it was infuriating. I checked my message parchment again to see that Ashley still hadn't answered me. All I wanted to do was talk to her about this, and she was ignoring me now. I knew she was emotional lately, but this time I couldn't offer any sympathy when it came to her stress. She had no right to feel emotional when she'd betrayed me.

"And she still hasn't answered me!" I said angrily not responding to Minnie.

As I said this, I saw that Professor Longbottom was approaching the Gryffindor table. His eyes were on me, and I wondered if my outburst had reached the teachers table. Some students were staring at us. I could see Colleen, Becky and Mallory watching us.

"Hayden, I just received a message from Professor Sinistra. Your godparents are on their way. They are going to meet you in her office," he told me.

"When are they coming?" I asked with shock. Now I understood why Ashley hadn't written back yet.

"I believe they are on their way now," he answered.

"Oooh are you homesick?" Colleen asked but I ignored her I just thanked Professor Longbottom and then looked at my friends.

"Will you three come with me?" I asked.

"Will your parents mind?" Andrew asked me.

"They won't mind," Minnie answered automatically, "I'm sure they even expect it. Let's go."

Minnie was right about that. Ashley had always said that as a kid, she always liked to have her friends there for back-up, and she knew why I needed mine. They hadn't agreed with Minnie going with me years ago when mum had told me she was giving me up, but she had let her for my sake. They'd understood that I needed my life-long friend with me. They would get it now because they knew how angry I was.

"She's right," I said. "You don't have to come with me, but I'd appreciate it if you would."

Craig gave a small shrug and got up from the table. The four of us left the Great Hall and my stomach gave a small growl. I hadn't really had much to eat, but that didn't matter to me at the moment. I had some snacks in my dorm that Ben had sent me, I'd eat later if I was up for it.

As we headed up to Professor Sinistra's office, Minnie made small talk about homework. I was actually thankful for this. I could brood about my godparents betrayal on the way. I think she understood that I didn't want to talk about it until I saw Ashley and Ben. Some of the anger that I had before was diminishing because of the fact that they'd actually come to see me. It showed that they did indeed care and understood me. They knew that it was better to talk directly to me instead of through the parchment.

When we arrived in the office, it was to not only find Ashley and Ben but surprisingly, Tasha and Barry as well. I hadn't expected this, and now I knew why it had taken so long. Ashley had contacted all three to come talk to me.

"Mum! Dad!" Minnie cried out excitedly "Why are you two here?"

"Because we're involved," Tasha told her daughter.

Minnie ran over to give her parents and then my godparents a hug. I noticed that after she hugged Ashley that she stood very close to her, as if she wanted to support her instead of me. Did Ashley need all four of them to support her from a twelve year old's anger? I felt some resentment about this. It was me that needed the support, and not her.

"Why are all of you involved exactly?" I asked as I glanced at each of them.

"Because we were all there when she showed up," Barry told me.

"One of you should have told me," I said angrily. Not only were Ashley and Ben in on the secret, but so were Tasha and Barry. Although I should have expected it since they had all been there to see us off. "I trust all four of you, but especially the two of you!" I added to Ben and Ashley. "You all knew I'd want to know!"

"Hayden, she promised us that she would tell you," Ben said. "Ashley was all for going home and telling you, but Rachel asked us not to. She said that she wanted you to know from her. We told her that we would grant her that, but if she didn't tell you, all four of us would write to you. Your anger is understandable and I am sorry if you feel betrayed. That is the last thing any of us wanted to do to you."

"We gave her the benefit of the doubt," Tasha added. "We told her that she had until October first."

It sounded about right, but I still stood by my earlier opinion. They should have told me sooner when it looked as if she wasn't going to. They were the ones I looked up to, and they ones I trusted and loved. They were the ones who were supposed to look after me. I was sure the three of them had talked Ashley out of not telling me, but she shouldn't have listened to them. She should have just told me anyway. She was my true godmother after all, and she'd always promised to be honest with me. I hated lies, and I hated secrets, especially when it was something I should know about.

I saw Ashley give me a sad look, and in spite of myself, I felt bad. Even though she was supposed to be the adult in my life, I didn't want to give her anymore stress. Knowing her, she was likely stressing about this situation, and she had probably even expected it.

"You should have given her a week!" I told them but not with as much anger as before.

"You're right," Ashley agreed. "She should have told you the moment she got your letter. Did she even tell you why it took nearly a month to get back to you in the first place?"

"She said it was the first time she could find the time to write me without anyone noticing," I answered.

"Hayden, none of us were trying to deceive you. If I'd had it my way, I'd have written to you at that moment, but your mother asked us not to. She said that she wanted you to read it from her. I was going to send her a letter tomorrow to tell her that if she didn't write you soon, I was going to," Ashley told me. "I am sorry that you're upset and that you feel that you can't trust us."

"We tried telling him that you likely had a good reason," Minnie, who was still close by her side explained. "But as you can see, he was upset."

"Is this why we are being interrogated by four eleven-year-olds?" Barry asked looking amused.

"Hayden wanted us with him," Craig explained.

I knew that him and Andrew had been uncomfortable about this situation, but they'd come anyway. It was what showed me that they truly were good friends.

"Well, I am glad to see that you're good friends to him," Ashley responded and I noticed she was looking at Craig and Andrew when she said this."It's nice to know he has support when he needs it."

"I still don't think he should be writing to her at all," Andrew spoke up and I felt some annoyance with this. Everyone thought this, but if we could talk to each other, what was the problem? I even once heard Tasha call our relationship unhealthy, but it really wasn't.

"We agree, but we all know he will anyways," Ashley answered. "You know my son is stubborn and he'd go behind our backs."

Ashley had never once called me her son, at least not in front of me, and it felt good to hear her say that. They had taken me in, and they cared for me, but I knew I wasn't truly their kid. To hear her or Ben call me their 'son' showed they really did accept me as their kid, and not just someone to look after. It was this comment that softened me even more. All four of them were there for me, and not to give Ashley emotional support. They wanted me to know that they loved me, and they cared for me, and that they were sorry. Mum had asked them not to tell me, and they respected her wishes. I couldn't ask for more because I knew they didn't want me talking to her, and if they were keeping promises with her about something, it meant they were on speaking terms. They were doing all that for me.

"I guess I understand," I finally said. "It's just that you two have always promised to be honest with me."

"And if she hadn't asked us not to tell you until she did, I would have written you the moment we got home," Ashley said."It seemed to mean a lot to her to tell you herself at the time. I just would like to know why it took almost a month. We're not hiding anything else about that day from you."

"But why did she have to hide?" I asked to no one in particular. Had she at least explained this to one of them? Why couldn't she have let me see her? What was the point in coming if she couldn't at least let me see her?

"You'd have to ask her that," Tasha answered me. "It shouldn't be us you're getting angry with, it should be her. We trusted her, and we did as she asked. It's Rachel who took all this time to write you, and it's Rachel who hid at the station, and it's Rachel who asked us to keep it secret. Maybe we shouldn't have, but as we told you, we gave her the benefit of the doubt."

"And we're truly sorry about that," Barry added. "I hope you'll still trust us, and that you'll still spend the nights at our place. We see you as one of our nephews and that isn't going to change."

It felt good to hear him say that. I always knew I'd been accepted not only into Ashley's family, but Ben's family as well but they'd never said anything like that. I called them all by their first names. None of them had a title when it came to me. My anger was completely gone by that point, and I knew that I'd overreacted.

"And I hope you'll still trust us," Ben told me. "You know that Ashley and I would never deliberately keep information from you."

I also knew that was true. In fact, I knew many of the adults actually disagreed with how upfront they were with me about certain things. I knew that they hadn't been happy three-years ago when Ashley had given me information about the attacks. I was grateful for the fact that they were always open and honest, and perhaps I even expected it too much. It was why I had been so upset now. I expected Ben and Ashley to tell me right away, even if mum hadn't wanted them to. They had respected her wishes for me, and I couldn't be angry about that since it she had put them in a stressful situation.

"I know you wouldn't, and that's why I was upset. I guess if mum asked you to, I can understand. I just would have liked to have seen her," I answered.

"And that's something you should tell her," Ashley replied. "You should tell her exactly how it makes you feel. I know you want a relationship with your mother Hayden, but you need to tell her that this makes you feel bad."

I nodded. As soon as I had the chance, I was going to write to her and I was going to tell her exactly how I felt. I would tell her exactly how angry it made me feel to wait all month, and that it was not okay to put my family in this position. At that moment, all I wanted to do was hug my godparents. Not only because seeing them again made me realize how much I missed them, but because I was sorry as well for getting angry with them. They did so much for me and it wasn't them I should have been angry with. If I had to admit it to myself at that moment, I believed it was mum that I'd been angry with all along but it was easier to blow up at my family.

I ran over to give Ashley a hug first. I held her tight and tried to expressed everything I felt in that one hug. I hoped she understood. She hugged me back just as tightly. I turned to Ben next who looked relieved that I was forgiving them.

"I really am sorry Hayden," Ben told him. "We promise we won't keep anything from you when it comes to Rachel again, even if she asks. We'll be sure to tell her that too."

"It's okay really. Minnie and Andrew were right. I overreacted," I told Ben.

Ben wouldn't have to tell my mum that. I was going to tell her myself in my next letter that she could never ever put them in that position again if she wanted a relationship with me. I had given her power before to upset me, but it wasn't going to happen ever again. This time I was going to have the say in this relationship, because she was the one who had left first. This time it would be me who left if she abused our relationship. She wanted to be friends, and I would end our friendship if she put the people who were my parents in a terrible position again. I would not allow her to hurt me ever again. I'd spent a month hurting because of her, and it wasn't going to happen again.

"What are we?" Tasha asked me once I pulled away from Ben. "Chopped liver?"

Smiling I ran over to hug her and Barry as well. I wasn't sure how I could tell the two of them that I was grateful for their love as well, but I hoped I put enough of it in my hug. Not many people in my position were lucky to gain a new family, and I had to always remember that.

"HAYDEN!"

I pulled away from Barry with surprise. I had not expected that Alyssa would be there as well. I was surprised that Ashley would allow this. I knew it meant a lot to her that we see Hogwarts for the first time when we started our first year. It was why we'd never gone to the memorials with them. I'd always wanted to go, but they never let us go. The others had gone, including Minnie, and I'd always felt jealous. I had a feeling Ben likely convinced Ashley to let Alyssa come as well.

I held my arms out to her and she ran over quickly. She seemed a little taller even though it was less than a month since I'd last seen her. She jumped into my arms, and I had to catch my balance. She was a bit heavier than I remembered as well. If it seemed she'd grown this much in a few weeks, what would it be like to see the others at Christmas? Just how much would I miss out on their lives by being here? Would Hailey be a lot bigger? What about the twins? Cameron had always been on the small side, but maybe he'd have a growth spurt as well.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," I told her happily as I held her tight.

"I got to see everything!" Alyssa told me excitedly. "Professor Sinistra took me to top of the tower. There were people on the ground and they were like ants! You can see everywhere even Hogsmeade from up there. I wish I could see the rest of the castle."

"We want to save some of the surprise for when you're eleven," Ashley answered and by that point I knew Ben had convinced her to Alyssa come too. I was sure Alyssa had begged to come, but Ashley had told her no. Ben likely told her it would be okay.

"Honestly, I don't think it matters," I told Ashley knowingly. "I could see Hogwarts a million times but seeing it from across the lake will always be amazing."

"I agree," Minnie spoke up. I was sure that Alyssa hadn't noticed she was there too, because she squealed in excitement. Forgetting about me, she ran over to give Minnie a hug as well.

"We could always give her a quick tour of the castle, or at least the seventh floor. I came here before for the memorial but it doesn't change anything," Minnie continued to Ashley.

"Oh please can I see some of the castle?" Alyssa asked. "I'm already here."

I saw Ashley look to Professor Sinistra to see if this would be okay or not. The teacher gave a small nod.

"I don't see why it would hurt," she answered. "I'm sure you'd like to visit with the children for a little bit. The Headmistress already knows that you are here. She said to take your time. I have some school work to mark, but if you'd like to take her around quickly, you may. The fireplace will be ready for your return."

"Why don't the three of you quickly take her around then," Ashley said to Minnie, Andrew and Craig. "I'd like to talk to Hayden a little longer," and she turned to me. "Do you mind talking a quick walking around with your old parents? It won't be too embarrassing will it?"

"No it won't be embarrassing," I told her.

I would have liked to have shown Alyssa around with my friends, but I also wanted to talk to Ashley and Ben some more as well. I didn't mind walking around the castle with them. As it turned out, when we left the office, it was mainly a talk between Tasha and me. She'd never really gone into detail about her own abandonment, but it seemed she was ready to talk to me about it now.

She explained how from the moment she got her letter, her parents seemed to be against her.

"I came so close to turning down Hogwarts because of their attitude," she explained, "but in the end, I wanted to go and while it strained our relationship, I am glad I did. I know that even if I hadn't gone, they would have treated me differently anyway. At least with Hogwarts I'd be away from them at ten months at a time."

"Do you ever see them now?" I asked her.

Minnie never went to her grandparents on her mother's side, and she never talked about them but I had to wonder if Tasha ever saw them anyway.

"The most we do is write to each other once and a while," she answered. "I've sent them pictures of the kids, but I haven't seen them since after the war. I went over to make sure they were okay. I wasn't allowed to stay with them while we were in hiding. The Hoofer's protected them, and Barry let me stay with one of his uncles. When Harry Potter finally defeated You-Know-Who, I went to their hiding place a few days afterwards to take them home. They told me that I was no longer welcome there. I think the magic, especially with You-Know-Who scared them."

"I don't think it's a good enough excuse," I said. "If I ever have kids, I won't abandon them for anything. It's strange with mum though. She was close to Ashley."

"We were all surprised about your mum, including me," Tasha said. "Your mum and I actually grew close because you and Minnie are so close in age. We knew you'd be in school together. She knows everything I went through. I told her things that I've only told Barry. Not even Ashley and Ben know some of the things I told her. I never thought she could do what she did to you," and she let out a sigh, "and I feel I owe you an apology given something that Ashley said. I slapped your mother when we saw her. Ashley said that she didn't do it because she knew you wouldn't like it, and she was doing it out of respect for you."

"She deserved it," I told Rachel automatically.

I could understand why Ashley wouldn't want to hit my mother, but I wouldn't have been angry with her for doing it. I'd been taught from a very early age that violence wasn't the answer, but I also knew some people needed the sense knocked into them. If one of the girls had slapped Judy for tripping Craig down the steps, I doubt anyone would have given it a second thought. Hitting normally should be a last resort if you had to do it, but I felt in my mothers case with Tasha that it was needed. So I felt no anger for her whatsoever for it.

"I'm not normally a violent person, and I don't like to hit," Tasha continued, "but after everything that happened with you and her, and even me I couldn't control myself. It bothered me so much to see her at the train station."

"You don't have to justify yourself Tasha," I said. "Sometimes people need it," and I quickly explained to her how Judy had turned out.

"Little Judy? Really? Minnie hasn't mentioned anything about that. I'm surprised. She was always such a sweet girl when she came over. I know her parents too. They wouldn't be happy to know that she is using that word. Her mother nearly died fighting for the good side. It's amazing the things people will do to fit in sometimes."

I would have to remember that if Judy kept up with the mudblood nonsense. I wondered if she even knew that her mother had nearly died. Somehow I didn't think she did. She was impressionable, but I just couldn't imagine her wanting to use a word that nearly killed her mother just to fit in. At least I hoped she wouldn't go that far.

We ended up back in Professor Sinistra's office after walking around once. It turned out that Minnie and the others had returned already. They'd taken Alyssa back up to the Astronomy tower so she could see the grounds at night since it was dark out now.

"Why don't you go up and get them?" Ashley said to me. "We'll wait here, and then we'll take off. We are okay, aren't we?"

I felt bad when she added the last bit. After all, she was stressed a lot and I had overreacted. Earlier I had been annoyed with her stress levels, but now I felt bad. I shouldn't have been adding to them when it was mum's fault. I hoped their trip to Florida would help so she wouldn't need constant reassurance.

"We're okay," I assured her "I just didn't like waiting so long to find out that she was there, but that's mum's fault. Not yours. You promised her you wouldn't tell me. I'm sorry I yelled at all four of you," I added the last bit to everyone in the office.

"It's okay mate," Barry said. "It's understandable."

"I'll go get Minnie and Alyssa," I continued.

I turned and left the office to head up the winding steps. I could hear my friends and Alyssa's voices as I headed up. When I reached the top, it was to find that Craig had lifted Alyssa up so she could have a good view of the grounds. Minnie and Andrew were standing side by side not too far from them and talking in low voices. I had a feeling they were talking about me.

"Our parents are ready to go," I said announcing my presence.

Craig set Alyssa down and she rushed over to me.

"Hayden, I'm smart so don't you think they should let me come next year?" Alyssa asked as she took my hand. "I love it here."

"No Alyssa, you have to wait until you're eleven-years-old, just like everyone else does," I said. "They don't make exceptions."

"But there is a girl in my class who skipped a grade," Alyssa told me. "What are they going to do when she has to start Hogwarts? Will she still have to wait until she is eleven?"

"I imagine so," I answered not really sure how that worked.

I'd never heard of that happening, but I knew that Hogwarts would not take someone if their eleventh birthday was after the September first cut off date. So perhaps the girl would just get a year off between her last year and Hogwarts. What was the point in making someone skip a grade then? I was surprised they hadn't done that with Minnie.

Once I was back in my common room that night, I decided to write to mum right away. I was furious with her.

Mum

Yes, I am calling you mum in my letter, even if you've said that our relationship isn't going to be mother and son. You should have let me see you at the train station, and you shouldn't have put my parents or Minnie's parents in that position. You also should not have waited almost a month to get back to me. I don't care if you said you didn't have time, because I am sure you could have found the time to write me if you really wanted to. You should have told me right away that you were there instead of putting Ben and Ashley through all that stress. Maybe you don't know it, but Ashley is stressed as it is because of things that happened with Hailey, and I know she worries about us. She wanted to tell me right away that you were at the train station, but she didn't because you asked her not to. My godparents have always been honest with me, and I don't like the fact that you wanted them to keep something important from me. If you want to keep a relationship with me, you're always going to be honest with me from now on, and you never ever put anyone in my family in that position again. I wrote to you because I was angry with you, but also because I wanted a relationship with you too. I feel like you're making me feel that I should be grateful that you're even talking to me. It makes me feel bad, and if you keep making me feel like this, then this is the last letter I am ever going to write you. If you want to be part of my life, then prove it. If not, it was mistake for me to have written you in the first place and for you to have responded. So make up your mind now on what you want with me.

-Hayden.

I was surprised that I was able to write down everything that I was able to in the letter. I felt grown up as I read through my letter, and I handed it over to Craig and Andrew who agreed that it seemed to be a very grown up letter. I planned to send it the very next day to her. I hoped that the owl would get it to her very quickly.

"What if she decides to stop talking to you?" Andrew asked.

"It will upset me, but she can't hurt me anymore than she has," I said as I thought back to when she first abandoned me.

I knew it would hurt a lot if she decided to end the relationship again, and I would be angry. I was already angry as it was. However, I would move on. I would wait until I was older, and I would find out where she lived and I would tell her off face to face. That was definitely a promise. It was something I'd imagined doing since I was eight-years-old anyway. When I first sent her a letter, my hopes had gone up but she had already shown more than once that I was never going to be her first priority.

"You won't be the way you were three years ago will you?" Andrew pressed.

"I'll try not to be," I said. "I will be angry, but I won't slack off in school and I won't take it out on you lot or my godparents again."

"This is why we all disagree with you writing to her mate," Craig said. "She's going to keep hurting you. Maybe not now, but she could do something again in a few years. I'd say just end the relationship now."

"I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt," I told him. "This is her last chance. If she chooses to write to me, and she apologizes we'll keep talking. If she does it again though, I'll never ever talk to her again. This letter," and I began rolling of parchment I'd written the letter on, "is my way of telling her that it's her last chance. I'm not giving her the power this time. It's me who has the power. It's me who is making the decision this time, not her. I think she will see that."

Andrew and Craig looked at each other, but they didn't say anything else about it. I couldn't stand it when my friends did that when it came to my mother. Why couldn't they just tell me what they were thinking? Did they think I was going to blow up? When they did that, it just told me that they talked behind my back about her. I was sure they weren't saying anything bad about me, but I still didn't like it.

As expected, mum didn't get back to me right away. I wondered if she decided to write back to me (if at all) through the muggle post office again. I decided not to dwell on it however. I just threw myself into my school work, and when I didn't do that, I just enjoyed my time with my friends. Other than certain people, Gryffindor House was actually full of decent people, and even though I hung out with Craig and Andrew, I did try my best to get to know the others in my house.

A duelling club opened up in October as well. I knew it was the first one in years. The last time one had opened was when Harry Potter had still been in school. In fact, he'd actually been a second year. It seemed odd for me to think of him as the same age as me. I knew he'd done a lot at my age, but I still couldn't imagine him as an actual kid. In my mind, he was always thirty-something, even in his Hogwarts years. Apparently there had been some kind of ruckus when they'd had the last one, and so it hadn't been brought back in years.

"I wonder what made them change their minds?" Minnie asked. "Do you think it's cause the Weasley kids are here now?"

"Not likely," Andrew said. "Professor Frayton has been trying to get one started since he first started here. For some reason the school governors didn't want one. I don't know why they would change their mind. I doubt Harry Potter has anything to do with it. He probably wouldn't want one cause of the last time."

"Maybe they decided enough time has passed," Cassidy said. "It's been almost twenty years since the war ended after all."

"How do you know that about Professor Frayton?" Craig asked Andrew.

"He told me when I asked," Andrew answered. "He told me that he doesn't know why he was finally given the okay. He's been asking every year for it. He is the one who is going to be the head of it."

"Maybe he'll get Harry Potter too," Cassidy said. "He knows everything about Defense."

"Well, Professor Longbottom will be helping," Andrew said with a shrug.

I kept quiet through all of this. A duelling club could be a lot of fun. I planned to sign up and I did hope that it would work out. So far, I really liked Defense Against the Dark Arts. It would be great to learn hexes on the side. I imagined a duelling club would help us learn spells outside our level, otherwise what was the point?

"So are we signing up then?" Minnie asked.

"Well I am, and I bet Hoofer is," Craig said.

"There's no question in that one," Andrew agreed.

"I can't wait to tell Michael about it," I finally spoke up. "I know he always wished that he could have something like this when he was at Hogwarts."

"Maybe Professor Frayton will ask him to come," Craig said. "Wasn't he Professor Frayton's golden boy?"

"Michael won't have time for that," I answered. "But I bet he can send us some tips. Let's hurry and sign up and then I can tell him about it."

The sign up list was in each common room on the notice board. By the time we got to ours; it was to find that most of the Gryffindor's had already signed up. The older students seemed annoyed that us firsties wanted to sign up. A few of the fourth years were grumbling that it was going to be a baby-sitting class as they watched us sign up. I knew I shouldn't have, but I always took comments like those to heart. I didn't need baby-sitting. I didn't need the older kids looking out for me or to 'baby-sit' me. Maybe some of the other kids in my year were annoying, but most of us weren't. In fact, that came with every year. Some of the seventh years weren't very mature and they were the oldest.

"Just ignore them," Andrew matured as I sent them a glare. We headed over to a table away from the older kids on the other side of the common room. The older kids usually stayed by the fireplace or the door.

"It's cause of those girls they think that way," Craig said as he nodded over at Colleen and her friends. "They're so annoying and they lost us fifty points this week."

"They lost us the points that I won in Defense," I said with a nod. "And all because they hexed some Slytherin second year girl who has frizzy hair."

"Some girls are so stupid," Andrew said. "Sometimes I think Minnie and Cassidy are the only normal ones."

"Cynthia isn't bad either," I said without thinking.

I knew I shouldn't have since this caused some them to start teasing me.

"I never say things like that about Cassidy or Grace," I said.

"I don't like Cassidy anymore," Andrew said.

"No but you do like Becky," I said.

"No I don't," Andrew said making a face in her direction.

"Why else do you get so worked up over the way she changed? I bet you wish you could snog her right now," I continued.

"Okay, truce," Andrew said holding up his hands. "But you know it's really low to picky Becky out of all the girls."

"I could have gone with Judy," I said. "Or Colleen."

"But Cynthia is a sweet girl and you actually do like her," Andrew said. "You can't pick someone who is a bitch."

"Well it's the best I can do until you like someone," I said.

"You seem more annoyed by it then you do when we bring up Minnie," Craig said. "And I don't like Grace anymore either. I don't know why I never noticed it before but she is actually really ditzy, or else she's had a personality change."

"That's a same," I said. "I was hoping you and me would double date with her and Cynthia."

"You'll never ask her out," Craig said.

He has a point when it came to that. I couldn't imagine asking her out or what we'd do. Even the idea of snogging her made me nervous even though I had fantasies about it. How did you know how to kiss anyway? I'd heard the adults or even the older kids talk about bad kissing. How did you know if you were a good kisser or a bad kisser? Colleen already had her fair share of kissing, and I'd heard her complain about a second year boy drooling in her mouth. What if I accidentally drooled in Cynthia's mouth?

Normally I held back with my friends, but this was something I asked them about. Maybe Craig or Andrew had some insight when it came to kissing.

"That's why you gotta practice with girls you don't care about," Craig said. "That's what I heard anyway. That's why people randomly snog around the corridors. They're practising for the real thing. You should get your technique perfected Hoofer. I know I plan to. Maybe you could practice on Minnie."

"You're a prat," I said.

But for once, I actually thought it wasn't a bad idea. How would she react to that though? Would she be insulted if I proposed that idea to her? The thought of randomly snogging some unknown girl seemed strange to me as well, but Minnie was my best friend. I wanted to know her thoughts on this, but what if she got really upset with me for even bringing it up? What if she thought I was using her or something?

I waited a couple of weeks before I actually brought it up to her. We didn't really get a chance to get time alone and it wasn't something I wanted to ask on the parchments. The Ravenclaws had their own little study groups going, but we also all tried to hang out as well with our other friends. We decided to use Saturdays for our old group and their new friends (with the exception of Judy) to hang out. Normally we would do this on the grounds, unless it was bad weather, and then we would find an empty corridor or classroom to hang out in. It ended up being Marco's idea, but we all approved of it. After all, why should we all grow apart?

It ended up being the week that Ashley and Ben went away on their get-a-way to Florida that I finally had my chance to talk to her. I made it seem as if I wanted to talk about my parents just so our friends wouldn't question it. Minnie seemed to see right through this though.

"So what do you really want?" Minnie asked as we left the classroom (it was raining out) with raised eyebrows.

"How do you know it isn't what I really want?" I asked her.

"Why would you want to talk to me in private about that?" Minnie asked.

"Well not everyone knows why they are going on vacation," I answered with a shrug.

"Still, it's a weak excuse and after all these years of friendship, I can tell when you're lying," Minnie said. "You seem nervous. What's wrong Hayden? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"Maybe not," I said. "This might offend you or you might get angry or you just might not want to do it."

"Well spit it out Hayden," Minnie said. "I promise I won't get too angry with you."

I sighed and then brought up how Craig had joked that her and me could practice kissing, but I'd thought about it and wondered if it was actually a good idea or not. I didn't bring up Cynthia, I just pointed out that it could help us become better kissers and then I explained how Colleen had complained that some boy had drooled in her mouth.

Minnie stared at me a moment and then she giggled.

"Is that all?" She asked. "You thought I'd be angry over that? For the record, I don't want you drooling in my mouth either."

"Well I will try not to," I said not sure if she was actually willing to do this.

"I doubt you would," Minnie answered still grinning. "Look Hayden, kissing really isn't that big of a deal. You're thinking about it too much and that's how some people do end up being bad kissers."

"Why? Who have you kissed?" I asked looking at her with surprise.

She sounded like an expert. She was almost a year younger than me. When had she kissed someone? Was it bad that she'd kissed someone before me? Perhaps she had already started to snog people around the corridors.

"Well, I haven't," Minnie admitted. "But I do read the Witch Weekly a lot. It says that the biggest mistake that someone can make is to over think it. Anyway, we can practice on each other. I've been practising on my hand, but it could be better on a person. I have one condition though," Minnie added and she held up a finger.

"I'm not going to fall in love with you," I joked thinking of some of the muggle movies we'd watched.

Whenever a friend helped the opposite gender in a movie, they always had the condition that the other couldn't fall in love with them. I remembered watching some chick flick with Ashley where a girl had to help a some bloke with a play, and that was her condition to him. He did anyway, and she died in the end.

Minnie just rolled her eyes at me and then smiled.

"No, I don't want anyone to know that we're doing this. You can't even tell Craig and Andrew about it. You can't tell your godparents either. Daddy would do his nut if he knew. This stays between you and me," she said. "Our friends would have a hay day with this if they knew."

"Believe me, I wasn't planning on telling any of them," I told her. "I would probably get a lecture from Ashley and she would tell Ellen, and they would think it's cute. I told Craig he was a prat when he brought it up. It's between you and me."

"Good," Minnie said. "Mum would probably think it's cute too. Did you know her and daddy actually practised on each other? She told me when I asked her about her first kiss. I wonder if that happened with Uncle Ben and Aunt Ashley."

"No her first kiss was with Denver on her thirteenth birthday," I answered. I'd heard the story many times.

"Hmm, well, when do you want to start?" Minnie asked. "This seems weird now that we've decided to do it doesn't it?"

I nodded. "I don't know. We'll have to hide to do it. Do we just kiss or do we touch or what do we do?"

"Maybe I'll read some magazines first," Minnie said. "And make sure you don't have bad breath."

"I don't have bad breath," I answered defensively. "Wait, does my breath stink?"

Minnie giggled. "No, at least I can't smell anything from here so I guess it doesn't but I've read that is a deal breaker. I guess we'll need to brush our teeth first."

"But what if you don't have time to do that?" I asked meaning in general. "I mean, people go on dates and then kiss. I bet they don't brush their teeth before they do it."

Minnie shrugged. "I don't know Hayden. I guess when you love someone, it doesn't matter. We'll start with the closed mouth kissing today, and then we'll move up to the other stuff after I've read about it."

I stared at her and felt really nervous now. She wanted to start now? Like this very moment?

"Unless you're not ready?" Minnie asked taking in my expression. "Hayden I think we're making this too big of a deal. People do it all the time. I think we just need to get it over with. We're best friends after all. If we're nervous like this with each other, how will we be on dates? Come on, let's go find a classroom."

And she took me by the hand and pulled me down the corridors. We were doing this. We were really doing this? In my mind, it had been a good idea but now I felt scared. Minnie reached a classroom, looked around, and then pulled me into it.

"You seem confident about this," I said as she shut the door.

"Well, I mean what is the worst that can happen?" Minnie asked with a shrug. "I was, I mean I still am but let's think about it logically here. This isn't going to ruin our friendship right? We're just practising and we're comfortable around each other. I mean, we used to take baths together."

I felt my face warm up when she said the last bit. Sure it was true, but we'd been very little. We'd probably been four or five since the last time. It wasn't the same thing and I hoped she would never tell our friends that. Minnie smirked at me.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this," I said. "I for one feel embarrassed."

Minnie leaned forward and kissed me on the mouth. I was shocked that she was so bold about it, but at the same time, all I could was: this is it? Why did people like doing it so much? It didn't seem like something that was all that great. There must have been something to it if people spent all their time doing it.

"How was that?" Minnie asked.

"Well it's nothing against you, but that's it?" I asked her. "People act like it's this big thing but it's not."

"Well that was just a peck Hayden. There are techniques remember," she said and then she put on a pretend hurt face. I'd known her for so long that I could tell the difference. "Geez Hayden, I guess I'm a terrible kisser."

"No you're not," I said with a smile. "At least I don't think you are."

"It's different then kissing my hand at least," Minnie said. "We can practice a little more, unless this is too weird for you?"

"It wasn't too weird. Was it for you?" I asked.

"No, it didn't seem weird. Cassidy has already kissed you know, and it was with a third year. I bet that would be weird. You're my best friend. I know I can handle it now after that one kiss," Minnie answered. "Let's try a few more times and then I'll read up on some other kisses and we'll try again later in the week."

I nodded. I'd never thought that my first kiss would be with my best friend, but I wondered if it counted. We were just practising on each other after all. It was something I could never ask anyone because we had a deal. We kissed a few more times, and it really didn't seem bad at all but it didn't make me excited either. It was just Minnie after all.

"We'll try again later," she told me with a smile. "I'm not doing anything on Wednesday after dinner. If you're not either, meet me back here. We'll try to do more kisses. Just make sure you chew gum or brush your teeth or something. I don't know what it's like on dates but I just think we shouldn't have bad breath."

"I always brush my teeth after dinner anyway," I said. "Ashley has been making me do it for the few years. She always makes us do it a half hour after dinner and I just do it on my own now."

"Good," Minnie said. "At least we know you don't have gross breath then. Trevor never brushes. I hope he grows out of that if he wants a girlfriend when he is older. So an hour after dinner then?"

I nodded. I no longer felt nervous about kissing her. In fact, I liked that we had this little secret together. We both had best friends out of each other, but we were still best friends after all this time. Kissing each other as practice proved we were still good friends and that we were comfortable with each other. We weren't going to lose our friendship just because we were in different houses. We grinned at each other before we left the classroom. I knew to our friends they would think it was an early romance budding, but it was still Cynthia I liked. No one but the two of us actually understood, but that was okay.

On Wedneday, I was prepared to meet Minnie in the classroom again but our plans were changed by my little sister. Craig, Andrew and me were just on our way to dinner when I heard a familiar voice shouting me name from behind. It can't be. I thought to myself before I turned to look, and running over to us was Alyssa.

"Alyssa!" I said staring in shock as soon as she reached me.

"You have to come home Hayden!" She said. She looked very upset. What could be wrong? Had something happened to Hailey or the twins? I knelt down so I could be at level with her. "What happened Alyssa?"

"Mum and dad are in Florida!" She said angrily. "That's what happened! They should have took us too!"

"Wait," I said slowly as Minnie, Cassidy, Cynthia and a few others joined us. They were likely all shocked to see her there. "You came all the way here just because they went to Florida! How did you get here!"

"Through the fire! I used June's and Timmy's fireplace and I flooed here. I went through Professor Sinistra's office. I remember from when mum and dad brought me here. We have to do something Hayden! They went there without us!"

"Alyssa, they needed that trip. You know you can't use the floo without telling anyone! June and Timmy don't even know you're here, do they?" I demanded feeling angry now.

Alyssa and the twins were so spoiled at times. At times I could ignore it, but this was something that I couldn't ignore. They didn't realize just how lucky they were and Alyssa was old enough to know better. I would never have pulled stunt like this at her age. There were many times when I hadn't wanted to be at mum's, but I always asked permission. I always told people were I was going before I went anywhere. Mum often let me walk to Ashley's parents on my own, but I always had to tell her first, and I had to write to her parents first and then to mum once I reached there. This was just Alyssa pulling a temper tantrum because she didn't get what she wanted.

"Alyssa, you actually came here because of that?" Minnie asked.

"Yes because they went on a trip without us!" Alyssa said furiously. "They've been gone since Saturday!"

"They have the right to go on a trip without you!" I said furiously. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done Alyssa! You are such a spoiled brat! You don't just leave without telling anyone! You never use the floo network without telling anyone! What if you'd gotten lost in the fireplaces!? You're not always going to get your own way in life!"

"I thought you would understand!" Alyssa said. "And I am not spoiled."

"You are very spoiled. You left without permission to come here to complain about Ashley and Ben! They aren't always going to take us places Alyssa. I don't understand you at all!" I said angrily.

"Minnie," Alyssa said turning to her cousin now. "Hayden is being mean to me!"

"Because he is right!" Minnie said angrily. "You are a very bad girl Alyssa and you are a spoiled brat! How dare you come here without permission!"

Alyssa stared at Minnie with shock. She'd never talked to her that way before. Alyssa turned to Andrew next. Andrew was someone who usually tolerated her. In fact, he would read her bed time stories or play with her when I didn't want to.

"Andrew, they are being mean to me!" She said rushing to throw her arms around him. She gazed up at him. "I am very angry! Mum and dad shouldn't have gone without us! It's not fair and now Minnie and Hayden are picking on me! They don't get it!"

"I'm sorry kiddo," Andrew said in a kind voice, "but I have to side with Minnie and Hayden on this one. You are too young to use the floo network without permission. We're taking you back right now. You shouldn't be here. You are old enough to know that this is wrong. I wouldn't call you a spoiled brat normally, but don't you see? That is what you are being right now? You didn't like it that your mum and dad left, and so you are throwing a temper tantrum over it."

"Uh uh I'm not. I'm not yelling or screaming," she said to him.

"But you're at Hogwarts and you are complaining because you didn't get your own way," Andrew told her. "Maybe you're not kicking and screaming, but what you have done is still very bad. Timmy and June are responsible for you, and you are here instead of there. Can you tell me what you just did is what a good girl would do?"

"No," Alyssa said slowly. "I'm just angry."

"It doesn't give you the right to do something like this," Andrew continued. "You should have talked to your parents about it. You should have written to Hayden about your feelings. What if William or Cameron did this instead of you? Would you agree with them? Would you think what they did was right just because they are angry? What about when they go in your room and steal your stuff just because they are angry? Do you think that is right?"

"No but- okay, what I did was bad but I just needed someone to talk to," Alyssa said. "I really want to be in Florida."

"You don't always get what you want Alyssa," Andrew said. "You have school to go to. I also know that likely your parents will take you to Florida at Christmas. Am I right about that?"

"Yes," Alyssa said.

Minnie and I exchanged looks as Andrew continued with her. He didn't get angry with her, and he kept his kind voice as he talked to her. She even began to look ashamed of herself. There were times when he was usually good with the younger kids, but at that moment I was realizing just how good he really was with her. She was hanging onto his every word as he talked to her.

"Mummy and daddy are going to be angry with me," she finally said. "I am a very bad girl aren't I?"

"Right now what you did was very bad," Andrew said. "I wouldn't say you are a bad girl because normally you are a very good girl. Now what you did was very bad, and you're going to accept whatever punishment your parents will give you when they find out. I want you to apologize to Timmy and June, your parents but you also owe Hayden an apology as well. You've put him in this position too. We are missing out on dinner. You're normally not this selfish Alyssa, but right now you being a very selfish. You don't care about the fact that you could be hurting anyone else or ruining someone else's plans. You only care about what Alyssa Hoofer wants and nothing else. I hope you learn from this."

Alyssa let go of Andrew and then turned to Minnie and me.

"I'm sorry Hayden. You're right. I am being spoiled. I don't know what came over me. I didn't think," she said. "I was angry all week and then I came here."

At that moment, my message parchment buzzed in my pocket. Before even checking it, I knew that it was either Ashley or Ben. Minnie must have got a message too because she reached into her pocket just as I did. Simultaneously, we both unrolled our parchments and read them. My message was from Ashley.

Hayden, Alyssa has gone missing! June just wrote to me and they can't find Alyssa anywhere! She isn't at the house. They think she used the floo network. Is there a chance she might have hone to Hogwarts?

"Is that Ashley?" I asked Minnie who shook her head.

"It's mum. Ashley and June wrote to her and she wrote to me to see if maybe Alyssa showed up here," and then she turned to Alyssa. "You see honey? Look at all the people you have worried now."

I quickly read my message out loud to her. Tears formed in her eyes and then they started to stream down her face.

"I have to go back," she said. "I shouldn't have come here. They're going to be so angry with me. Tell them I am here but I am going back to June's. Tell them they should stay in Florida for the rest of the week. They shouldn't come home just cause I am a bad girl."

"First smart thing you've said," I told her.

I reached into my pocket to pull out an old muggle pencil. I placed my parchment against the stone wall of the corridor, and quickly wrote to Ashley to let her know that Alyssa was fine and that we were taking her back to June's and Timmy's.

Oh thank god! I am so glad she is okay. Tell her that she is in very big trouble and they we will deal with her when we get home. Thank you so much Hayden. I can't believe she would do that. We knew they were upset about this trip, but we didn't expect any of them to do something like this! I'll tell June and Timmy where she is.

"Okay, let's get you back," I said turning to Alyssa. "Your mum wanted me to tell you that she is glad that you're okay, but you are in very big trouble."

"I know," she said.

"Let's go," I said taking her by the hand but she turned away to take Andrew's hand instead. Perhaps because he was the only one who hadn't yelled at her.

"The rest of you can go to dinner," I told the other first years who had watched all of this. "You might as well get something to eat."

"We'll tell the teachers so you still have the chance to eat Denny," Cynthia told me.

"Can one you let Sinistra know too?" Minnie asked. "She'll need to know that we're using her fireplace."

Craig joined us even though everyone else left. Even though what Alyssa had done was very bad, I couldn't help but admire the fact that she hadn't gotten lost. We were no where near the seventh floor, we were close to the Entrance Hall. She'd never been to this part of the castle.

"How did you find me Alyssa?" I asked her as we headed to the Astronomy tower. "You've never been to this part of the castle."

"I just followed all the big kids. I knew that it almost dinner and I knew that the Great Hall would be downstairs. I figured everyone was going to dinner, so I just followed. All the Gryffindors were together too so I figured that I should follow them and I was right."

"You could have gotten lost," I said to her. "You're very lucky you found me. This is a big castle and sometimes the staircases change. Sometimes we still get lost. You could have ended up somewhere dangerous and we wouldn't have known where you were. You could have been lost for days before anyone found you."

It actually gave me chills thinking about her wandering around these corridors lost and scared. What if Peeves had found her and he'd taken her somewhere? I wasn't sure if he'd be nice to a little kid or not. First years weren't spared from his pranks, so how would he be with a seven-year-old? Perhaps the other ghosts would have helped her out though.

"I hope you truly do realize how stupid this was," Minnie told her. "Never do anything like this again."

"I won't," Alyssa said. "Can we go up to the Astronomy tower again?"

"No!" Craig said quickly. "You don't deserve it. We're not going to do something for you when you've done something bad."

"How come you lot go everywhere together?" Alyssa asked.

"We're friends," Minnie told her. "You do everything with Clarissa, Richard and Mackenzie. Someday when you're at Hogwarts you'll go everywhere together. We're just helping Hayden with this and then we're going to dinner."

When we reached Professor Sinistra's office, I was surprised to see her already there. How had she gotten there so quickly. I was sure she would have been in the Great Hall.

"I flooed," she answered my unspoken question. "Are you going to take her directly over there Hayden?"

I nodded. I figured it was best, even if she had come on her own.

"Well I'll wait here. I can get some food sent up here for the four of you. You won't have to go back downstairs and you're all close enough to you common rooms in here," she said.

"Thanks," Andrew said as his stomach growled. "I'm famished. I think I am out of energy now."

"I'm sorry," Alyssa said to him. "I'm sorry I made all of you miss dinner."

"Let's just go," I said as I lifted her into my arms.

She was getting heavy, but I could handle her weight for the trip. Professor Sinistra threw some floo powder into the fire for me, and I then I called out June and Timmy's address and stepped into the green flames. I knew the address well enough. They were living in Ashley and Ben's old flat. I'd been there so many times. I wondered how strange it seemed to Alyssa and the twins to be back there. It had been their first home after all.

Moments later, I was standing in the familiar flat. They had painted the walls a light blue colour, and they had different furniture. It almost seemed smaller to me even though they didn't have that much stuff. I wondered if it was just from the colours or maybe because I'd been eight the last time I'd been here.

"Alyssa!" June said as I set her down.

William and Cameron looked up and both yelled excitedly when they saw me. They'd been sitting on the floor in front of the telly with some cartoon on. They both jumped up and ran over to give me hug. I thought they both looked different since I'd last seen them. William and Cameron were fraternal twins rather than identical twins. Cameron looked more like Ashley than any of the kids, and I thought he looked even more like her at that moment. He seemed almost taller than William. I looked from each boy. How could they change so much in a month and a half?

"Are you staying Hayden?" William asked.

"I have to get back," I said as I gazed over to where Timmy and June were scolding Alyssa.

"Alyssa is a bad girl," Cameron said.

"She's going to get a spanking I bet," William said looking happy. For some reason he enjoyed it when his brother or sister got punished. I didn't understand why. I ignored this though.

"I can stay for a few minutes but then I need to go back to school. I want you to good for June and Timmy for the rest of the week," I said. "Your mum and dad really needed a vacation away for a week. They'll be back and soon all of us might go to Florida. They aren't always going to take us when they go away."

"We're not the ones who left," William told me.

"But I know you were very angry as well," I said. "I want all three of you to be nice to your mum and dad when they come home. From now on, you have to get used to the fact that you're not always going to go away when they do."

"But have we been bad?" Cameron asked. "Is that why they left without us? Did they want to get away from us?"

"No, they just needed a vacation by themselves," I said. "You'll understand someday when you're older."

"We always have to wait until we're older," Alyssa spoke up.

"We all do," I said to her. "I mean it, you be good for the rest of the week. Don't ever floo without telling anyone again. You know better than that Alyssa."

"I know," she said sadly.

"Thanks so much Hayden," Timmy said to me. "I'm glad you found her. Kids are a lot harder to look after than I realized."

"Well they don't always do things like this," I said. "I'm sure you're both doing a good job. You've always taken good care of me. This isn't your fault. Alyssa is old enough to know better."

"We only went out on the balcony for a moment," June said. "We were making burgers on the grill. The kids were watching the telly, and then we came back in and she was gone."

"Alyssa took advantage," I said turning to look at my little sister who was staring at the ground. "She waited until you were distracted. She was likely planning this. She's seven. You should be able to go on the balcony without worrying that something like this would happen. I'd better get going. I'll see you lot at Christmas."

"Wait Hayden!" Cameron said. "Did you get my letter?"

"No I haven't," I answered him, which was odd. Why hadn't it come yet? "But I'll let you know when it does come."

"But everyone else has gotten a letter back except me," Cameron said. "Even William got a letter back!"

"Well I'll just write you a letter when I get back then," I told him. "Maybe it will come soon."

"You don't think someone could be tampering with the mail at Hogwarts?" Timmy asked me. "That has happened before. It happened when we were still in school. Nothing is going on right now though."

"Or maybe someone is pulling a prank," I said.

What if the letter had come but it went to someone else? It was something I would have to find out when I got back to Hogwarts.

I gave all the kids a hug before I took some floo powder from the pot June held out to me, and then I threw it in the fireplace and stepped in after calling out Professor Sinistra's office. Hogwarts should have had a way to stop people from entering the castle. It seemed to be a security breach if just anyone could get in through the fire. She shouldn't have even been able to get to Hogwarts.

I said this to Professor Sinistra as soon as I back in her office. She pointed to her desk where my friends were waiting for me. Four plates were on the desk with food piled on them. I was happy to see they'd waited for me.

"It stops malicious people from coming through," she told me as I took a seat at her desk. "We do have security charms on all of the fireplaces. Alyssa is so young. I expect they saw her as someone who was innocent. It's always hooked up for the students to use, so perhaps it saw her as a student too. We'll have to look into that though. I just think because of her young age and innocence that the charms didn't detect anything wrong. Besides, she has been through the network before. I think that could also be why she could get through. It recognised her. I'm going to report this. We'll see if we can tighten security. It shouldn't have happened. Just finish your dinner and then go to your common rooms."

Professor Sinistra left the office, leaving us to eat. I actually liked eating with just us instead of in the Great Hall. It would be great if a bunch of us first years could get together and eat like this. Too bad the others hadn't come with us.

"I just can't believe she did that!" Minnie said. "And especially her. I think it's something William would do, not Alyssa. She is always such a good girl."

"But she hates when things don't go her way," I said. "She was hoping I'd be as angry as she and the twins are but I'm not. Alyssa can be stubborn."

"And you're the one who got through to her," Craig said turning to Andrew. "She listened to you right away."

"We have an understanding," Andrew said smiling. "Besides, as bad as what she did, the last thing she needed was to be told what a spoiled brat she was being. It's true that what she was what a spoiled kid was doing, but she was already angry. When you insult a kid more when they're already upset, it just makes them defensive and even more angry. They won't listen to you. You have to talk to them. I know enough from my younger siblings."

"I know it too, but I couldn't help it," I said. "I am very angry with her. She shouldn't have done it. I couldn't put aside my emotions."

"Neither could I," Minnie said. "She had no right to be angry. My parents go on trips without us. We accept. I love Aunty Ashley and Uncle Ben but sometimes they do spoil them."

"I wouldn't put all the blame on them for this one," Andrew said. "From what I've seen, they don't give into them all the time. I think this was just Alyssa being a brat and that's all there is to it."

"No, this time it was all Alyssa," I said. "Ashley and Ben say no enough times to her. I do wonder if she is like that at seven, what is she going to do when she is twelve like us? Or even a teenager?"

We finished eating and then left the office together. There was no way that Minnie and me couldn't practice snogging that night. Craig and Andrew would wonder where we were going. So I just bid Minnie good night, and headed to Gryffindor tower with the boys. We could do it again later after all. My mind was still on Alyssa anyway. I still couldn't believe she'd actually come to Hogwarts. Was I going to have my hands full when she started in her first year? And what about Cameron? Why didn't I get his letter?


	9. Chapter 9

Our trip to Florida was coming up fast, which I was relieved about. Ben and I were talking more, and getting along better. However, we still hadn't sat down and talked about everything. Some of it I believed was because of the problems with Rachel and Hayden. Most of it was because we didn't want anymore big fights. At least I didn't, and I hoped it wouldn't happen in Florida either. If it did though, at least it would be just the two of us. I thought that the fighting part was behind us now though, even if we did have a lot to talk about.

We had it arranged for Hailey to stay with Jared, and for Alyssa and the twins to stay with June and Timmy. The kids (with the exception of Hailey) were all very angry about this. They wanted to go to Florida too, and as the days lead up to our trip, we had to endure temper tantrums and whining.

"But you can't take a trip without us!" Alyssa said angrily.

"This isn't the first time," Ben told her.

"Yes it is," Alyssa said. "You never go anywhere without us. You went away once daddy and it took forever for you to come back."

"I needed a trip away. Right now, your mum and me need a trip away. The three of you need to be at school. You cannot miss a week of school. We will all go to Florida in December," Ben told her. "Now enough with the whining Alyssa. As the oldest, I expect you to set an example for the twins. If you whine, then they will too."

"Well I don't care!" Alyssa said angrily. "I am not going to be a big girl for them this time! I don't care if they copy me! I want to go to Florida too!"

"Enough Alyssa!" I said angrily. "You are not coming to Florida with us this time! You are never like this. I don't understand you. Normally you're a good girl when it comes to this. Why are you so upset this time?"

"Because we want to go to Florida too!" Alyssa said.

"You know that you don't always get what you want," Ben said told her. "You know what when we say no, it means no. So why are you being like this? We've gone on weekends away from you. Is it because you're scared we won't come back? It won't be like the last time I left Alyssa. We are leaving on Saturday, and we will be back the weekend after that."

"I know you'll be back," Alyssa said. "I just want to go too!"

It was very frustrating, and I couldn't help but wonder where we'd gone wrong with her. We didn't always give in to her demands, and yet she was acting as if we always did. She was being for indignant about this than usual. There were times when she would protest, but once we told her that we'd had enough with it, she would back down. She wouldn't bring it up anymore. This time, she just wouldn't let it go.

Later that night, I sat down and wrote to mum about it. She was usually good about giving me advice when it came to the kids. I'd found myself writing to her more and more. She'd been right about William back in the summer, so maybe she would have some a good piece of wisdom about this. The twins were angry too, but sometimes I thought they were just doing it because their sister was. This time, it was Alyssa who was the problem.

All mum could tell me was that she would get over it and that we weren't doing anything wrong.

But maybe we've been spoiling her too much. I wrote back. Why else would she keep demanding like this?

I've told you before that they are going to test your limits. Besides, you and your sister did the same thing. I know you're worried that you could be spoiling the kids, but I really don't think you are. Kids can be stubborn when they want something. They are angry you are going on a trip without them. Now, if you changed your mind and told them that they can go with you, that would be giving into them. Think about some of the children you used to teach.

But Hayden was never like that. I reminded her.

Yes he was and he still can be. You just don't notice it because you're worried about him. Why else did you have to go to Hogwarts to talk to him? Remember some of the temper tantrums he threw? What about Minnie when she wanted something? You were the same way too my dear, and your sister was even worse. It comes with being a parent. It doesn't always mean they are spoiled.

I wasn't so sure though. One of my biggest worries was that my kids were going to grow up thinking they should have everything handed to them. Alyssa could be so demanding. I knew that kids of course could be stubborn and hard headed. I knew they threw temper tantrums when they didn't get their own way. However, Alyssa just wasn't backing down and I just didn't think this was normal. Ben actually agreed with me about this as well. Normally he would tell me I was just stressing, but he seemed worried as well.

"Look, we will sit down and talk with them," Ben said. "Mum and dad are trying to tell me that this is normal too. I just don't think it is. Barry told me that Minnie could be the same way. I remember how demanding Minnie was, but she never this bad."

Ellen and Keith thought the same thing as everything else.

"Look, Alyssa has an explosive temper," Ellen told me. "It's a combination of yours and Ben's temper. She is also as stubborn as the two of you can be. It's what you get for mixing that together," she added with a smile. "Can't either of you remember what you were like when you thought you were right? You have both always been so stubborn. In fact, you're both being that way right now about this. There is nothing wrong with Alyssa that a good grounding won't take care of. Just stick to the plan, and she will get over it. She would be the same way even without the money. Come on, you two have been around kids enough to know that sometimes they can just be brats. The kids just want to go with Florida with you, and they are upset but you know they'll get over it. You two really do need to get away if you're even stressing over this."

"I just don't want my children to grow up spoiled," I told her. "We have money, but I'd like for them to grow up unaffected by it. They should just understand no means no."

"In a perfect world they would," Ellen told me with a shrug. "Look, you would never call Michelle a brat but yesterday she threw a temper tantrum because I wouldn't give her a later bed time. She thinks she should get at least another half hour but I don't agree with her. She already stays up a half hour more than Clarissa and Elliot. She doesn't need another half hour. She's angry too because of the new baby."

"Oh my gosh," I said as I gave her a once over.

I felt the worlds worst friend at that moment. She was going through another pregnancy and I'd forgotten all about it. She already had a baby bump even though it was still early in her pregnancy. I hadn't asked her about it since Michelle had given me permission to bring it up. I'd had so much on my mind lately, and I was putting my petty problems on my pregnant friend.

"It's okay," Ellen said as if reading my mind. "You've had a lot going on and this my fourth pregnancy after all."

"Doesn't make it any less important," and I noticed how pale she looked. "Are you feeling okay? Normally you're glowing when you're pregnant. You're very pale."

"This pregnancy is harder on my than the last three," she answered. "I've been to the Healer and Ben checked me over the other day. No one has found anything concerning. Ben thinks I need to eat more, but it's not easy because I throw up so much more. Ben made me a nutrition potion to keep down at least, and it seems to be working. I think this baby is going to be more active than the other three put together. He is already moving a lot more."

"You think it's a boy?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"I don't know," she answered. "I'm not going to stress this time like I did with Clarissa or Elliot. I got my boy, so if I have a girl again, I will be okay with it. We have either a Mickey or a Cadence. Keith has always liked those names and I've always decided. So this time it's his turn."

"Mickey?" I asked her with amusement. "We're going to have a Mickey and Minnie."

"Well yes," Ellen said with a small smile. "But it has nothing to do with Disney. We've already had people point that out to us. Keith just likes the name Mickey and it sort of represents Michael as well. I think the name Cadence is really pretty too. So I do actually hope she's a girl. Cadence Rose."

"That is pretty," I agreed. I liked it a lot too. "Well, maybe you'll have another after this one."

"No," Ellen said quickly. "This is the last baby. I don't want anymore after this. Elliot was supposed to be the last one. Keith has already had the procedure. He never got around to it after Elliot and then once again I forgot the potion. The kids were all gone for a weekend, and in the heat of the moment we forgot the spell too. Of course I am happy to have another baby, but I never actually expected to have four kids. Michelle will be in Hogwarts soon enough, and Elliot will be in Primary school. I'm ready to have the house baby free."

I didn't say anything, but I would have been happy to have another one. It wasn't that I was feeling sorry for myself. I had five children of course, but I wouldn't mind having another baby around the house. I'd always wanted a big family. It's not something I would ever even mention to Ben. Our baby days were over, and perhaps it was a good thing anyway. Ellen had a point anyway when she said all the kids would be in school soon. Perhaps I was just having baby fever because now Brenda was pregnant too. So Ellen, Tasha, and Brenda would have babies together. Ben suspected that even Brianne might be pregnant too. So I wondered if it was just a feeling of being left out or something.

"Well, it will probably be easier for you once Elliot is in school and Michelle is at Hogwarts," I finally said. "At least Elliot and the new baby will be close in age."

"That's why in a way I hope it's a boy, even if I love the name Cadence. Elliot could have a brother around to play with. Sometimes he feels left out because most of the kids his age are girls. Cameron plays with him at times."

"Well maybe Brenda or Tasha will have boys too," I said. "And if Ben is right about Brianne being pregnant, then she could have a boy too."

"Brenda is pregnant too?" Ellen asked. "I remember she said they were trying, but I didn't know she actually was. This must be really new."

I smiled. "Well, it's actually the same as your pregnancy with Elliot. You were pregnant the whole time, but you didn't know about it until you really looked at yourself. She's probably as far along as you and Tasha are. Maybe even further along she's got a belly too. She didn't tell us how many months."

"I never noticed anything," Ellen said. "But sometimes I wonder if my gift has been going away or I'm just not as observant."

"You could just be under pressure," I said. "I don't think it's gone away. You don't exactly pay attention to Brenda anyway."

"Maybe, but sometimes I try to keep an eye out for that ever since Hailey," Ellen said.

"Then maybe you're trying too hard," I said. "I wish you'd stop feeling guilty Ellen. It's not your fault. Ben and I are already blaming ourselves enough. We don't need you to."

"It's hard not to," Ellen said. "I should have spoken up, especially when I knew you'd be drinking. What if Hailey is slow because of the alcohol?"

"The Healer's we've seen, and even Ben haven't found anything wrong with her. Healer Smeck said it's normal for premature babies to be slow for the first few years. The twins were the same way, especially Cameron," I told her. "Shelly is going through the same thing with Mikayla. Hailey is always going to be a bit slow. We just need to learn not to stress so much over her."

Ellen and I stared at each other.

"You realize that is exactly what everyone has been telling you for years?" She finally asked. "You finally believe it. I know you do. I can tell."

"I just wish you would too," I said.

"I know. I probably always will have that guilt just as you will though. I feel the same way about the times I drank with the other kids. I knowingly drank with Clarissa because I knew Michelle had been okay. I shouldn't have. I still feel guilty to this day about it even though she is okay," Ellen said. "With Mickey, I had a few drinks too."

"Maybe you and Keith should go away too," I told her. "Maybe you could before you have the baby. You can always use our place in Florida and we can always take the kids."

Ellen nodded. "Keith actually just said the same thing the other day. He thinks we should do something before the baby is here. He has some vacation time to use up. Perhaps we can in November, and believe me, I expect to get the same reaction from Clarissa and Michelle that your kids are giving you. Anyway, I really hope you and Ben do have a good time and you work on things. I honestly think you are getting there. You even seem less anxious than you did in the summer."

She was right. Of course I still stressed, but I actually was feeling better than I had in the summer. I think it was because I knew our trip was so close and that Ben and I were finally going to talk everything out. I still worried at times that he was still angry with me but he was just being very nice to me so I'd feel less stress.

On the day of our trip, we had three very angry children and one very happy one. Hailey was excited to be going away to Jared's but then again she always was. She was too young to understand that we were going away. She just thought that she was spending time with her godfather. The three older children were all very angry and we had to deal with three temper tantrums before we could even get them to June and Timmy's.

"I'm really sorry about this," I said to June and Timmy when we finally did arrive at their place. All three were still throwing fits.

"It's nothing," June said. "We can handle it. Don't worry about them. You two just enjoy your trip."

"Exactly, we can handle the little rugrats," Timmy said as he knelt down and picked up Cameron. "Aren't you happy to see me? You lot are back in your old flat. You two can sleep in your old room. We actually haven't changed yours or Alyssa's room."

"We've never lived here," William said.

"Yes you did," Ben told him. "We lived here before we lived at the house. Don't you remember?"

"I remember," Cameron said.

"No you don't!" William said. "Cause I don't."

"Yes I do," Cameron said and he pointed over to his old room. "We slept in there and we used to play on the balcony. The telly was there," and he pointed to where our telly used to sit.

"How come I don't remember mummy?" William asked.

"I don't know honey, now I want all three of you to give me a hug and I want all three of you to be good," I said.

Timmy set Cameron down and he ran over to hug me hard. William wasn't far behind him. Alyssa however stood with her arms folded tightly. Ben walked over to hug her, but she didn't hug him back.

"Alyssa, you be a good girl," I told her. "Now come give mummy a hug."

"No!" She said angrily.

"Alyssa, stop acting like this," Ben scolded her. "Now give me a proper hug and then hug your mum."

Alyssa let out a loud sigh and then hugged Ben. She did it very quickly and then she walked over to me. The boys ran over to hug Ben while Alyssa glared up at me. I pulled her into a hug. She didn't hug me back. I decided not to take it personally. She'd get over this eventually.

"Now I want you three to be good," I said. "You listen to June and Timmy."

"And we'd better not hear of any temper tantrums," Ben added.

"We'll all be fine," Timmy told us. "They are in safe hands. Trust me."

"We should get going," I said to Ben. "Our portkey will be leaving in forty-five minutes."

"You're right," Ben said. "Bye kids."

Cameron and William both waved goodf-bye, but Alyssa remained tight lipped. I'd hoped that she would finally give in when we left, but she didn't. I'd never seen her so angry before. I sighed and then turned on the spot. There was no point in waiting for a good-bye that wasn't coming. I just hoped by next Saturday she'd be happy to see us.

The moment we arrived in Florida, we both decided to put the kids completely out of our minds. They were all fine. Hailey was likely already having fun with Jared, and chances are the other three had calmed down by that point. Hayden of course was happy at Hogwarts, and he approved of our trip. None of us had to stress about Rachel anymore. It was finally time for Ben and me to have some fun, relax and have a good talk.

Ben decided that our first night there was the best time for the talk. He didn't see the point in us putting it off for much longer and I agreed. And yet, when we did go over everything I actually felt good. I didn't feel stressed like I had back in the summer when we'd talked about it. Perhaps it was because we'd already gotten all of our anger out that night.

"Ben, did you ever consider leaving me?" I asked after we discussed that night in Godric's Hollow and the following two years at length.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "When I went on my trip?"

"No, well yes, that too. I did worry when you told me that we needed to talk, but you already knew that. I did worry that during those months you spent in anger that you wanted to leave. No, I just mean after Hailey and everything. You were so angry with me for going that night and you spent two years repressing that anger," I answered. "You were tired of me thinking that I thought you were always controlling me. I just wondered if it got to the point that you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"That thought never entered my mind," Ben said quickly. "Not once have I ever considered that. You haven't been stressing about that have you?"

"Not exactly, but I did worry that maybe our marriage could be over. We were so angry with each other. I did wonder if maybe we were just trying to make each other happy. You've held back for years, and I thought maybe with all that blame-"

"I never wanted to leave you and I never blamed you," Ben interrupted. "I could never leave you. It doesn't matter how angry with you I am. I would work on it with you first. The reason things got as bad as they was because we wouldn't talk to each other, but that ends now. We're going to bring things up, even if we think we'll anger each other. We promised we'd do that a few years ago and we didn't stick to it."

"We've been making that promise since I went to Diagon Alley that Christmas," I said to him. "We never follow through with it."

"It's the one thing that has put a wedge in our relationship," Ben admitted. "And we're both guilty of it. It's not just your fault or mine. It's both of us. Michael and Ellen told me I needed to work on the controlling thing before we got engaged. I can acknowledge that at times I've been out of line. I still don't think I was the night of the sleeping potions though."

"No you weren't," I told him. "You were reasonable and I was out of line."

"But that doesn't mean I should have lost it on you that night," Ben said and then he sighed. "You know, I did worry that you wanted to leave me. I was such a prat back then."

"I told you years ago I wouldn't have let it get to that point," I reminded Ben.

"I know, but you still have that thing where you tell people what they want to hear. You and me haven't always been fully honest. We've just established that," Ben said.

"Well, I did mean that. I would have fought for our marriage and I would have fought for it if you'd decided to leave me recently," I told him. "I love you more than I did when we were kids. We've been through so much together. I mean, I know we thought we loved each other when we were sixteen but I don't think we really understood it."

"Well, I think we did but it wasn't as much as it is now," Ben said. "I know I loved you when we were sixteen. Even before then. I also know I love you more than I did back then. Don't you realize that house was for you? The kids wouldn't care where we lived."

"I know it was for me," I told him. "You built my dream house... although it was a lot bigger than I'd actually planned. You'd actually be able to fit two or three of my houses in that one, but everything is there that I wanted."

"Well to be honest, I hadn't actually meant for it to be that big," Ben admitted. "It was originally supposed to be just a five bedroom. Brenda and Brianne always hated that they had to share a room, so I didn't want my kids to share one. It just changed after you got pregnant with twins because we were planning a guest room too as well as having a room for Hayden."

"And five bedrooms turned into eight," I said with a smile. "But it still didn't have to be so huge. I think sometimes you wanted to show off. We also didn't need two extra guest rooms."

"But you never know what could happen. And as it turns out, we've needed them," Ben said.

"Sure will be big and empty when the kids all move out," I said with amusement and Ben just shrugged.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes," he said. "Besides, I don't believe it's as big as the rest of you think it is. One of these days I am going to take you to see Malfoy Manor. That place makes ours look small. I'll show you some other mansions as well. Ours is actually fair sized. I think the rest of you have always idolized my parents but theirs is not a mansion."

"Well I know that now. I knew that after I saw Hank's place. It's still quite big though. You have to realize how it seemed when I saw it for the first time. My mum's place is tiny. I expected Hogwarts to be huge because well... it's a castle but yours seemed like a mansion to me," I told him.

"It's really not," Ben said with a grin. "It's by no means a small house but it's not a mansion either. I don't know what I'd call it. Remember, I had the same reaction when I saw your house for the first time. I couldn't believe how small it was."

"Yes I remember," I said feigning anger.

"Well, I'd never really seen a small house before," Ben said. "Not that small anyway."

"You really led a sheltered life then," I said. "I don't understand how in twelve years that you couldn't have seen different sized houses."

"Well for one we lived in the country, and two everyone in my family has fair sized houses. Remember, I never had friends outside of my family. Sam was my only friend before I met you lot," Ben said. "Anyway, is there anything else you've held back?"

After that night, we took the time to enjoy the nice weather and our freedom. At nights we would still talk, but for the most part, we were both carefree for the first time in a long time. We seemed to have picked the perfect week. It was very warm out, and many days were spent out on the beach or swimming. I used to worry about alligators, but Ben had apparently cast a spell that kept them from our area. I didn't know much about them, but I knew that they were in Florida and you could find them in most bodies of freshwater. At first, I'd been worried about us having a permanent beach house out here with the kids, but of course Ben had thought of all that.

"Do you think we'll run into your girlfriend?" I asked Ben as we strolled up a downtown street together.

"She was probably just a college or university student," Ben answered. "She didn't really tell me much about herself, but I had the impression that she didn't grow up here. She was going on about how much she loved it here. So I think she was just going to school here. I wouldn't mind running into her though."

"To reconcile your long lost love?" I asked with a grin.

"So she could see you with me. She thought I was lying about everything," Ben answered.

"Well in her defense; it really is unbelievable. It usually doesn't work that way in the muggle world," I said. "I don't even know if you'd be a full doctor even now. It takes years in the muggle world. I was actually surprised that Healers didn't take as long. Anyway, she as just disappointed she couldn't get in a good shag. It was probably the first time in her life that she was rejected," I said. "More than likely she has someone now."

"I don't understand how some women keep trying even once they know someone is married," Ben said.

"Because not all men are as faithful as you unfortunately," I said moving closer to him. "Even if we were unhappy together, you still wouldn't cheat but girls like that look for that opportunity. She knows she is pretty enough to get any man she wants, and she thought she found an unhappily married man. Some men who are unhappy in a relationship will go for a hot twenty-one year girl, especially when it's for a quick shag."

"Well then their relationship or girlfriends or wives aren't the problem," Ben said. "And girls like that are part of the problem."

"Don't get so worked up Mr. Hoofer," I said with a smile. I paused so I could stand up on tippy toe to kiss him. Ben was only too happy to lean down and kiss me. In fact, he was so enthusiastic, he lifted me off my feet to do it. It wasn't often we did this in public.

"I'm perfectly fine Mrs. Hoofer," he said before he set me down gently.

As he did this, I felt my message parchment buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out as Ben did the same. Was someone messaging us at the same time? I opened the parchment. The moment I read the message, I felt dread. I glanced up at Ben to see that he was reading the same thing I was.

"Bloody hell!" Ben said angrily.

"Where could she be?" I asked him.

Alyssa had gone missing. According to June, they'd decided to make some burgers for the kids out on the grill on the balcony. They'd probably been outside for less than a few minutes before Cameron went running out to inform them that Alyssa had flooed away. They'd gone to our place but she wasn't there, and she wasn't at Ellen's either.

"Let's get back to the cabin," Ben said to me. "We'll figure it out from there. I doubt she went too far. She'll have gone to someone we know."

Ben took me by the hand and pulled me down an alleyway. Once we were sure that no one was around, he turned on the spot. When we got there, I checked my parchment again to see if there anymore messages. There weren't. So I quickly wrote to June to let her know that we'd figure it out, and that we didn't blame her or Timmy.

"I just can't believe she would pull a stunt like this!" I said angrily. "Where would she have gone?"

"I just wrote to Barry and Tasha," Ben said.

"I'll try Brenda and Milton," I said.

"I'll try Brianne and Nick then," Ben said. "Are there any school friends she might have gone to?"

"Maybe," I said. "I'll have to think though. We'll try the family and our friends first. Maybe she even managed to get to my mum's."

"We'll leave that for last," Ben said. "They don't have a fireplace and she can't apparate."

She wasn't with any of our family members, and none of our friends had seen her. I was debating on her school friends when Ben suddenly said:

"Hogwarts! Maybe she went to find Hayden!"

And I knew as soon as he said it that it was very likely. She knew how to get to Hogwarts now, and chances are she'd go straight to her big brother. This wasn't good because a little girl could get lost so easily in that castle. I wrote to Hayden quickly.

"I really hope that's where she is," I said.

"I just can't believe that kid!" Ben said angrily. "She's never done anything like this before."

"Well she's going to have be punished, and big time," I said.

She had to understand that this kind of attitude was very wrong. She couldn't just run off because she didn't get her own way. I would never have expected this of her. She had thrown fits in the past, and I knew she'd been angry but I had never expected that she'd run away. My parchment buzzed and a message appeared.

Alyssa is fine, don't worry. She's here and we plan to take her back to Timmy's and June's. We've already yelled at her about it, but Andrew is the one who got through to her. She is very ashamed of herself and she is sorry. She told me to tell you not to come home yet because of her. So I hope you do take that advice. You still have a few days of your vacation left, so just enjoy yourselves and deal with her when you get home.

"Thank god," I said and looked at Ben. He was sitting at the kitchen table, he looked furious. "She went to Hogwarts."

Ben shook his head. "Maybe we should get back," he said.

"No," I said and then I read Hayden's message out loud to him. "It's just giving into her if we go back early."

"Right," Ben said with a sigh.

I figured it was getting to him more than it did me just because she was a daddy's girl. He'd never believed that his little girl was capable of doing such a thing. It would be the same for me if Cameron were to pull to some kind of stunt that was out of character. I'd feel that my little boy had let me down. I was sure that Ben was thinking that way with her.

I quickly wrote back to Hayden.

Oh thank god! I am so glad she is okay. Tell her that she is in very big trouble and they we will deal with her when we get home. Thank you so much Hayden. I can't believe she would do that. We knew they were upset about this trip, but we didn't expect any of them to do something like this! I'll tell June and Timmy where she is.

I then wrote back to June who responded back quite quickly.

I am so glad that she is okay. I am so sorry Ashley. I can't believe we lost her like that. We just went outside for a few moments.

June, you don't have anything to be sorry for. Alyssa knows better than to do something like this. She is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. She knows that she isn't supposed to use the floo without telling anyone.

I glanced over at Ben. He was still brooding.

"Ben, she is fine and there is no point in letting this one incident ruin the rest of our vacation. Hayden is taking her back to Hogwarts now," I said.

"I just can't believe she did that," Ben said. "She's always been such a good girl. I'd expect maybe William to do something like this, but not her."

"No, William would just keep throwing temper tantrums," I said. "He wouldn't use the floo by himself."

"He wandered off when he was supposed to go to Michael's on his own," Ben reminded me. "You were right when you said we shouldn't be letting the twins go off on their own yet. I just thought it was your stress, but you were right."

"Ben-" I started to say but he held up a hand.

"Look, all I am saying is that for some things I didn't give you enough credit for. It's true that you did over stress about certain things, but I didn't give you enough credit. Every time you stressed about something, I just took it as your anxiety and I ignored it but I should have listened. You were right when it came to Rachel and Hayden, you were right about William, and you were right about Alyssa. I'll be honest with you, I only agreed with you about Alyssa's attitude to humour. It was because I just didn't believe she was capable of doing more than complain," Ben said. "From now on, I am going to listen to you."

"But how could you always know for sure?" I asked him. "Remember, I did stress about things that I shouldn't have."

"But I should have given you more credit. You said we should deal with Alyssa before we left, but I figured it would be fine if we waited until we got home," Ben said.

"But neither of us expected her to do this! I thought she was being a brat about it, but I never would have thought that she'd do this," I said. "Alyssa normally has her say and she gets over it. Look, she is seven-years-old now. She is old enough to understand that this was wrong, and we will deal with her when we get back. For now, let's just enjoy the rest of the vacation."

I actually dreaded going back because I knew we'd have to spank her, and I hated spanking the kids. This kind of stunt earned her one though. Grounding her or taking something away wasn't going to send the message this time. It was going to have to be a spanking and a grounding. I told all this to Ben who nodded mutely.

"Ben, please don't tell me you're going to brood over this for the rest of the vacation," I said.

"I won't," Ben said with a sigh and then he smiled. "What is she going to do when she is a teen if she can do this now?"

"Well I hope we'll nip it in the bud," I said. "But I don't want to think about that either."

"We're going to have a teenaged Alyssa and a teenaged William," Ben said.

"Don't rule out Cameron or Hailey," I said with a smile. "Hailey might be the most stubborn and hard headed out all of them. She's already stubborn and she's two! She's been a tough little girl her entire life."

I was adding even when she was in the womb. Even when she was just some cells she was a tough. When she turned Hayden's age, she could be our most problem child, especially since we all had a soft spot for her.

"Can you imagine a twelve-year-old Hailey?"

"And a seventeen-year-old Alyssa, and fifteen-year-old twins. Let's not rule out Hayden either. He is a good boy now, but just wait for those hormones to kick in," Ben said.

"They already have. You didn't see the way he was looking at Cynthia in her bikini," I said. "Just think of how Michael was around Ellen the summer before our second year. Hayden wasn't as bad, but he was certainly staring at Cynthia the same way. He's a good looking little boy too. He's only going to get even more handsome. I think the girls are going to love him, and I think he might become girl crazy."

"I'm already worried about Minnie," Ben said. "Some of the boys were staring at her at the pool party and she is just eleven. We weren't like that were we?"

"Yes," I said quickly. "Are your forgetting how you were Jaime, or how I was with Denver?"

Ben shook his head with a smile. "Let's just enjoy our vacation now. I don't want to think about those kids dating yet, especially our twins. They're going to be girl crazy for sure. They're Hoofer boys. Barry and me weren't innocent at all, and Cameron has already given me a commentary about the cute girls in his class. William still calls girls icky."

"For now," I said with a smile. "Let's just go out by the water Ben. It's a nice evening. There is no point in us worrying about Alyssa right now. I've been sleeping really well since we got here, so I don't want to ruin that now."

I was actually surprised that the time change hadn't affected my sleep at all.

"Ashley, we're five hours behind," Ben said. "It's not going to affect your sleep until we get back."

"Remember it usually affects me later in the week though," I said. "My body is just used to UK time either way. Remember last summer I really didn't sleep?"

"Right, I forgot about that. I think it's because you're much relaxed. You were sleeping fine before we left. I think you're right though. We might as well not stress because we don't want to lose sleep over it," Ben said. "So let's go outside."

I held my hand out for him to take and he stood up and stretched before he took a hold of it. Hand in hand, we went outside. Although it was getting dark out, it was still nice to relax by the beach. Sometimes I wished we could live out here and leave the cold British weather, but I wasn't so sure about ever leaving my country. I always wanted our kids to go to Hogwarts after all. I didn't want them to go to some American school. I knew one was called Ilvermorny and it was designed to be similar to Hogwarts, but it wasn't the same thing.

"What are you thinking about?" Ben asked as we walked right up to the water.

"Living here," I said.

"You'd want to move out here?" Ben asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I think I would miss Britain too much. I just hate the cold winters sometimes. Besides, I don't want the kids to go anywhere but Hogwarts."

"Maybe when they're all older we could live out here in the winters," Ben said. "It could even be our retirement home. We won't always need that huge house after all. We could always leave it for the kids to take over. Once Hailey is old enough, we could do that. We could always do our careers out here."

"Maybe," I said. "Could you really imagine us being American's though?"

"I think we'd make it work," Ben said. "And we'd be closer to Canada. I know how much you love Canada."

"I do, but I don't think I could make that permanant move," I said. "There is so much that we have in the UK too. I think when we retire that we should do a lot more travelling. There are so many places we haven't been yet. I'd like to see more of Italy. We haven't even seen much of our own country and we have beautiful mountains just like Canada does."

"So we'll do that then," Ben said with a shrug. "At least then we won't have to worry about a seven-year-old running away."

I smiled when he said this. I thought back to when I'd thought that I wanted another baby. I was wrong. I loved my babies and sometimes it was hard to think that they were growing up. Hailey now had a big girl bed, but I was also ready for them to grow up and to be their own people as well. Ben was right, we would be able to go on trips without worrying that one of them will throw a fit. We could do whatever we wanted. I wasn't ready for that day yet, but I felt better about the fact that we weren't expecting a baby. After all, Hailey was only two. She would be my little girl for quite a long time yet. So would Alyssa for that matter.

"That's the plan then," I said to Ben.

It was kind of odd to be planning our retirement already. After all, we were only twenty-eight. We had years before we had to worry about that. Although, we could always do what Ben's parents did and retire early. I doubted Ben would want to do that though. I wasn't ready for it yet. I still wanted to explore Charms some more. With my career too, we could travel once the kids were old enough. I was curious about the Charms in other countries. The Andrew twins had told us that American's had their own magic as well. The one place I really wanted to visit was Egypt. They had so many Charms encrypted in the tombs. Wizards had been trying to figure them out for years, as well as curses and other spells.

"What are you thinking about now?" Ben asked as the water washed over our feet.

"Charms and other countries," I answered as I gazed across the water.

It was a perfect cloudless night. The moon was reflecting in the water and I thought it was such a beautiful sight. It didn't matter how much I saw it, I never got bored of it. It was such a romantic night, and all I wanted was to make love to my husband on the beach. We had muggle repelling charms up at the moment as well as the ones that kept gators away. We could get away with it. Normally we had kids with us. I'd heard it wasn't as romantic as some people said because you got sand everywhere, but at the moment sand in certain places didn't seem all that bad to me.

"But that's not the only thing I am thinking about," I said to him and turned to face him. "I'm sure you can guess what I am thinking about now."

"I think I can," Ben said and pulled me close.

By the end of our vacation, I felt more relaxed than I had since the summer before we'd had Hailey. After that summer was when everything went to hell. However, that week was spent such bliss. I just hated the fact that we had to go back and punish Alyssa. I wanted to go back with the feeling of contentment I had at that moment.

We got up early in Florida Saturday morning so that we could arrive at our place by noon. Timmy and June already had the kids back at our place. They brought them home at breakfast and were just waiting with them until we got back.

"I'm not ready to leave yet," Ben said to me as we each put a finger on the port key.

"Neither am I, but we'll be back in December," I said.

I knew we were both dreading the fact that we had to punish our daughter. We'd wanted to have a happy welcome with the kids. Moments later, I felt a jerk in my naval and then we went through the familiar spinning sensation. Everything was out of focus until our feet hit solid ground, and we back in our living-room. I had to admit that while I'd loved it in Florida, it felt good right at that moment to be home. I just hadn't realized how much I missed it until I was there. I missed the kids too even though I was so angry with my oldest daughter.

"Mummy! Daddy!" A chorus of voices shouted.

Even Hailey was there. We weren't expecting her until later in the afternoon. However, we had all four of them jumping all over us. We both knelt down so we could give them each a hug. Alyssa hugged us the tightest out all of them, and I knew she was feeling guilty.

"I'm really sorry mummy," she said as I gazed into her eyes.

"I know you are, but you're going to have to be punished big time," I told her. "You were completely out of line."

"I know," she said and she hung her head, even as Ben pulled her into his arms.

"You should spank her," William said.

"William, what have we told you about telling us to spank the other kids?" I asked him. "I really wish you would stop being so happy about them getting punished. You don't like it when you're punished."

"Did you bring us back anything?" William asked.

"Of course we did, but you can wait," Ben told him. "I think you'll need to sit in your room for a little bit. I know you've been making fun of Alyssa that she's going to be punished."

William hung his head as Cameron started to nod.

"I told him not to," Cameron said. "I never made fun of her."

"But Cameron was a rat!" William said. "And he just ratted me out. You said we shouldn't be rats."

I let out a sigh. We were most certainly home. I stood up and looked at Timmy and June who were standing close together.

"We are so sorry," June said.

"We don't blame you," I said. "In fact, it's me who is sorry. I'm sorry Alyssa put you through all of that."

"It's fine, we're used to chaos," Timmy said with a smile. "We're just glad she is okay. You don't need to apologize," and then he let out a sigh, "but unfortunately, Cameron and Ben are right. William has been on Alyssa's case since the incident. He was trying to instigate a fight with her to get her in more trouble I think."

Ben turned to look at William who looked up at him nervously.

"William mate, this has to stop," Ben said to him. "As happy as we are to see you both, I want Alyssa and William to go up to their rooms. The two of you are going to stay up there."

"But we want to spend time with you," William whined. "We haven't seen you all week."

"We really wanted that as well William," I told him. "But you two had to misbehave. You both know better. So thank Timmy and June, apologize and then go to your rooms."

"We haven't eaten yet," William said.

"So we'll bring you up some food," Ben said in his no nonsense voice.

Alyssa didn't even bother to protest, she just gave Timmy and June a hug before she headed out of the room. She was certainly a different girl than the one she had been when we left. I could tell she was ashamed. She was also likely dreading her punishment.

"I missed you mummy," William said as he hurried over to me.

I picked him up.

"I missed you too honey, but you have to be punished. So be a good boy and go apologize to Timmy and June and say good-bye," I said to him.

"I don't want a spanking," he said looking tearful already.

"You don't always get what you want," I told him. "But we're not going to spank you anyway. I just want you in your room for the day to think about what you did. I am going to charm all of your toys so that you can't play with them. You may read if you want, but otherwise you're staying upstairs for the day."

I set him back down. William walked over with his head down. It was bad enough I was going to have to spank one kid, I really didn't want to with the others. A room punishment for teasing his sister was enough in my opinion. I didn't believe it warranted a spanking, and I hoped Ben agreed.

"Where is Jared?" Ben asked turning to June and Timmy once William was gone.

"He was busy today. He dropped Hailey off and then left," Timmy answered. "Unfortunately we can't stay for too long either. But you do have to tell us about the trip. Maybe next week you can come over for dinner."

"Sounds good to me," I told him. "And don't feel guilty about Alyssa. You two didn't do anything wrong."

"Unfortunately we're not really up for visitors at the moment anyway," Ben said with a sigh. "We have to deal with Alyssa and William right now."

"And we would like to catch up with the kids too," I said as I gazed over at Cameron and Hailey who were sitting on the floor together. I was actually relieved that they weren't staying. I loved visiting with them, but our return home wasn't a happy one. I just wanted to get Alyssa's punishment over with.

"I know, and we feel bad either way," June said. "Even if you say we shouldn't. I know she has a mind of her own, but I still feel bad."

"You two will make good parents," I told her.

I was remembering what Ellen had suspected about June. It made me wonder why she thought she was losing her gift. At that moment, I thought June looked as if she were glowing. As soon as I said this, June and Timmy grinned at each other. Perhaps that's why they wanted us to have dinner with them at their place. Maybe they were just telling people now. That meant Ellen hadn't lost her gift after all.

"Maybe," Timmy said. "Anyway, we're having dinner at mum's with Ellen, Keith and the kids. So we should get going. The kids were good besides those incidents though. In fact, Alyssa was a perfect angel for the rest of the week."

"I expect so," I said. "She knew what was coming. Thanks again for taking the kids though. You did do a good job. You told us as soon as you knew she was gone, and you checked in at other places. You did as well as any parent would."

"She's right," Ben said. "And we will leave them with you again."

After they left, Ben turned and looked at me.

"Should we deal with this now?" He asked looking weary.

"Let's get these two settled first," I said pointing to Hailey and Cameron. "And then we will. We'll have to make lunch too. William said they haven't eaten yet."

"We wanted to eat with you," Cameron said. "You shouldn't be too hard on Alyssa. She really is sorry."

"It doesn't matter," I told him. "I'm glad she is sorry but she still needs to be punished. What she did was very bad. I am glad to see that you're looking out for your sister though. Now can you keep Hailey busy? We'll put on a cartoon for you."

"Bugs Bunny was on before you came home," Cameron said. "Maybe it's still on. June turned the telly off when you came home."

"Maybe it is," I said glad that I could count on my youngest son.

Ben was already heading out of the room. I wondered which kid he was going to first. I wanted to deal with Alyssa first.

Later that evening, once we all had dinner and Ben was watching a movie with Hailey, William and Cameron, I decided to go up and talk to Alyssa. After her punishment, I'd spent the day thinking about it. While I knew her stunt was entirely her fault, I felt that if we'd talk to her more before we left, she might have been more understanding about us going. She might not have been as angry.

I explained this to Ben while we ate, and while I wasn't planning to reveal too much to her, I felt it was time for her and me to have a talk. I knew she would understand some things even if she was still young to know the full story about Hailey. I'd expected Ben to maybe protest but he seemed to agree with me. Later when we put the left overs away and cleaned up the dishes, I asked him if he really was okay with it. I wanted to make sure we didn't fall back into our old pattern.

Ben had given me a grin. "Yes, I am really okay with it. Alyssa shouldn't have done what she did, but maybe we should have talked to the kids more about it. I think sometimes we underestimate them. William and I had a good talk today. So go on and have your talk with Alyssa."

"Well I really do hope he grows out of teasing the others when they are going to be punished," I had said. "He really shouldn't get a kick out of that."

"I never told you this, but I was the same way," Ben had told me. "I loved it so much when Brenda was going to get it. In fact, sometimes I think William is punishment for what I was like as a little boy. I can see myself in him so much. He'll grow out of it."

"But Brenda was obnoxious," I had said.

"Alyssa can be to the twins sometimes to my dear," Ben had said still grinning.

So I made my way upstairs to her room. When I entered, it was to find her sitting on her window seat looking out the window. Out of all of us, she had the perfect view of the yard. I knew it was why Ben had picked it for her. She could see right into the pool when the cover wasn't on it. At the moment, there wasn't much to see since it got dark early and the yard wasn't very pretty this time of year. Alyssa looked away from the window to look at me. She looked as if she had been crying, and I wondered if she had been all day. I didn't think it was just because of the spanking.

"Come here sweety," I said as I sat down and held my arms out to her.

Alyssa hurriedly climbed into my lap and she rested her head against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry mummy," she said.

"I know you are," I told her.

"Am I getting another spanking?" She asked.

"No, one spanking a day is enough, and I am not going to do it more than once for that. When have I ever? I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I never like spanking any of you... in fact, I hate it. Sometimes you need it though," I told her.

"I know and I deserved it this time," she said still looking sad. "I am a very bad girl."

"I told you earlier that you're not a bad girl. What you did was bad. You're still grounded for the week, but that's not why I am up here. It's time you and me had a big girl talk," I said.

"About Hailey?" She asked looking a little cheered up.

"Not quite. I'm still going to wait to talk to you about that because you're still a very little girl. However, we are going to talk about other things. I should have talked to you more before we left. Maybe you wouldn't been so angry if you understood better about why we went away."

"It doesn't justify what I did," Alyssa said.

"No it doesn't and that's a big word. Let me guess, Hayden said that to you," and she nodded. "You understand what stress is don't you?" I asked.

"Yes, sometimes the twins stress me out," she said.

"Well, your daddy and I have been feeling very stressed lately. We needed a week away to relax so we wouldn't feel so stressed anymore," I told her. "We've been bottling it up lately and there were things we needed to do and talk about."

"Do you feel better now?" Alyssa asked.

"Yes we do," I said to her.

"But why were you stressed? Were we bad? Is that why you had to leave?"

"No, it wasn't because of you or the others," I answered. "We just needed to get away Alyssa. Sometimes grownups need to do that. Daddy had to do that a few years ago. It wasn't because you are bad. We both missed you very much though. We had fun and we're both more relaxed but we are happy to see the four of you again."

"So why were you stressed then?" Alyssa asked.

"You asked about Hailey when I came in here," I told her. "It was still because of that situation. Your daddy and I were still stressed about what happened with her when I was pregnant. We never really relaxed after that. We were worried when I was pregnant, but even after she was born we were. You know she's been sick for the last two years too. We've been very worried about her, and we haven't really talked about it. We just ignored the stress we felt from that and tried to move on. It didn't work for us, and we just got more stressed to the point that we needed to get away so we could talk about it."

Alyssa nodded. "I would have understood if you'd told me that. I know I shouldn't have been angry. Hayden and Andrew told me that I should never be angry when you two need to get away. Andrew told me I was being very selfish and he was right. But mummy, I got angry because I only thought you and daddy were being selfish."

"And why did you think that?" I asked her. "Because we went on a trip without you."

"We thought you just wanted to have fun without us," Alyssa said. "We thought you just wanted to get away from us or you didn't want us."

"Alyssa, we could never feel that way. We always want you. Sometimes we do try to have fun when you're not there, but it's always fun when we do have you around. Any trip we've gone on with the five of you has always been a lot of fun. You do understand that sometimes adults do need their adult time though, right?"

Alyssa nodded. "I know you do. I shouldn't have been angry with you and now I do understand why you went. Hayden even said you had a good reason to go. We should have listened."

"Well I hope that next time you'll have more of an open mind," I told her.

"Mummy, I know I am grounded but can I please go downstairs. I know you're watching movies. I just want to be with the family," she said. "I've missed you, daddy and Hailey."

"You're grounded from the pool, flying and from seeing your friends outside of school," I told her. "We didn't say you had to stay in your room the entire time. I actually came up to bring you down after we had our talk. We do want to spend time with you too. Since you're grounded, you'll get an entire week to spend with us."

In fact, it was one of the reasons why in the end we'd decided to still let her watch the telly. At first we weren't going to let her, but every evening all of us sat down to watch it together before they went to bed. I still wanted some family time with the kids. We wanted to keep our family activities as much as we could. So we'd decided just to keep her from her friends mainly. She loved swimming and flying too, so those were easy things to take away too.

"I'm okay with that," Alyssa said.

"Good. So how about we go down now?" I asked her. "I think they were watching The Lion King when I came up."

"I like that movie. Are we watching all three?"

"Well not all three but I am sure we can fit on in tomorrow. You still have an early bed time and so do the others," I said. "Besides, your father and me need to try and get used to the time here again. So we're going to try and sleep early too. We've been awake since four am in American time."

"What time is it now?" Alyssa asked.

"It's just six," I said.

"You've had a long day," Alyssa observed.

I didn't bother to tell her that it really wasn't for us. I didn't know if she fully understood time zones are not, but I actually was quite tired even if it was just one in the afternoon in Florida. I still got really tired when I woke up at four in the morning no matter where I was in the world though. We'd gone to bed at midnight the night before. I doubted we'd have trouble sleeping that night.

"Yes we have," I said to her. "We might have time for two of the movies."

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Alyssa asked as I stood up with her in my arms.

She didn't protest. Normally she didn't like to be carried around. She had her moments where she wanted it, and this was one of them.

"We'll decide tomorrow," I said.

Alyssa nodded and then she rested her head back against my shoulder and I carried her out. I had to set her down at the steps, but I kept a hold of her hand. I expected for her to hurry over to Ben when we entered the living-room, but it seemed she wanted me that night. When I sat down on the couch beside William who was on one side of Ben, she quickly climbed into my lap. Ben had Hailey in his arms while Cameron was on his other side.

"I'm sorry for being mean to you Alyssa," William said looking at her. "I shouldn't have teased you."

"It's okay," Alyssa told him and then she looked at the telly. "Ooh, we haven't missed a lot. They're still cubs!"

"We just started," William told her. "And we were going to wait for you but Hailey wanted to watch right away. She picked it out you know."

"It's okay. There is still a lot left. I wish Hayden could be here. It doesn't feel the same without him," she said.

"We'll do this when he comes home," Ben told her.

She was right though. I did wish we could have brought him home for a weekend. I was sure it was allowed. I knew sometimes parents took their kids home on weekends, but it didn't happen often. Kids often didn't want to anyway. I didn't know if Hayden would want to do that. Chances are he wanted to spend it with his friends. I imagined at that moment they were probably all hanging out together outside. He'd told me that he and his friends in the other houses were trying to get together on weekends more. He'd told me it was sunny earlier that day on the parchment, and while it was dark now, they were probably still outside because curfew wasn't for a couple of hours.

It was a good evening. Even though we'd been so relaxed in Florida and I'd loved how nice it was to be on the beach out there, it didn't beat this. I loved cuddling with the kids on the couch like this. I was also glad it was The Lion King movies that we were watching. There were movies that we didn't over watch, and they'd been my favourite as a kid. They were also the ones that the kids could all agree on.

By eight-thirty when it was time to put them all to bed, I was relieved. I was very tired myself.

"I guess it's good that you set the alarm for four," I said to Ben as we got ready for bed.

"Well I did that on purpose," Ben said. "I knew we'd be exhausted by the end of the day. Just think, if we were still in Florida it would only be three-thirty."

"Yeah I know," I said. "We'd probably be just going for a walk right now. You know what though? Even though it was so relaxing out there, tonight was cozy. Alyssa's right that it would have been better with Hayden here."

"Alyssa was your little shadow today," Ben said.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," I said smiling at him.

Normally she was Ben's little shadow.

"I think she's worried that she disappointed you more than she did me," Ben said. "I think she gets more worried when you're angry with her then when I am."

"Just as the twins get more upset when you're angry with them," I said.

I wasn't sure why that was exactly. Alyssa was such a daddy's girl, but she hated to upset me more than Ben. Cameron was more of a mama's than Cameron, but they both tended to stick to my side more than Ben's and yet they hated it more when he was angry with them. I would have thought it would be the other way around. William especially hated it when Ben was angry with him, but he almost seemed indifferent when I was upset.

I asked Ben why he thought this was. Ben shrugged.

"Maybe it's an insecurity thing," he said.

"I hope not," I said. "I never want them to think that I love on child any less, and sometimes I think they do when it comes to Hailey."

"I don't think they question our love for them," Ben said.

"Alyssa might," I said and I explained what she'd told me when we had our talk.

"She knows we love her. I think she just meant that she was worried we thought we'd have more fun without them there," Ben said. "She knows we want her as our kid, but she just thought we didn't want them there just because we'd have a better time without them. I think she was offended and that's why she was so angry."

"Yeah that's basically what she said," I answered. "So from now on I am going to try and talk to her more about things so she doesn't feel that way. I'll just give her selective information."

Ben nodded.

"Ellen wrote to me while you were talking to Alyssa. She wanted to come over tomorrow with Keith and the kids, but I told her to wait. I didn't think that was right for Alyssa," Ben said. "We agreed that she doesn't have to stay in her room the entire time. It wouldn't be right to have the girls here but to keep Alyssa upstairs. It wouldn't be right for Michelle or Clarissa either."

"She probably just wants to know how the trip went," I said. "Maybe I'll visit with her tomorrow then. We can have them all over next weekend. Mum wanted to have a family dinner tomorrow but I told her next weekend too."

"Geez our kids ruin everyone's plans," I said laughing.

"They'll get over it," Ben said. "I didn't want to do anything but spend time with the kids this weekend anyway."

I wanted to talk to him more about my thoughts I'd had when we went away, and the momentary jealousy I'd had of Ellen and the others, but it wasn't the time. I was too tired at the moment for that. It was a topic we could talk about at anytime. I just wanted to know his thoughts about never having another kid, or if he was glad that soon we'd have more freedom. For the moment, I just wanted to cuddle up to him and sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Shortly after the incident with Alyssa, a letter from mum finally turned up. It was an early Sunday morning, and we were eating breakfast. Professor Longbottom had just handed it to me. She used the muggle post again. She wasn't too happy with my last letter, but I think she understood that I meant business. She started it off with telling me that she hadn't appreciated the tone of my letter. It took up half the page, but then she changed the subject to Kyleigh. She'd never gone into detail about my little sister before. Apparently she was already learning to read. She ended the letter by telling me to keep her updated, and that was it. She signed it with her name though. It was if she wanted to be defiant that I'd called her 'mum' in my last letter.

I didn't care this time though. I still felt like I had the power this time. Michael had once told me that the one who cares the least usually does have the power. Mum had already hurt me once, so I knew what to expect this time. She obviously did care enough, even if she tried to act indifferent. Why else show up at the train station? Why respond back in the first place?

"Any family members going to show up this week?" Colleen asked me after I was done reading the letter. They were sitting close to me. "It hasn't even been two months and already your family has come to visit twice. Must be hard to be that homesick."

"Can't handle going without silly nonsense letters or seeing them for so long," Becky added on. "Guess seeing Minnie all the time isn't enough."

I glanced over at Becky sharply. Silly nonsense letters? Was she just teasing or was she implying that she'd read my mail. She smirked as I gazed over at her.

"Have you been reading my mail?" I asked her.

"Of course not," she said but she looked away with a wider smile as she said this.

"You read my letter from Cameron!" I said angrily now.

I stood up quickly and stomped closer to glare down at her. Becky looked back at me nervously.

"Where is it?" I asked her. "He's been expecting me to write back home to him! He's five-years-old! He's been disappointed that I haven't gotten it yet. Where is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Becky said in a shaky voice.

"You do so!" I was almost shouting now. "What kind of person does that!"

"He isn't your real brother anyway. You're just adopted cause your mother didn't want you!" Becky retorted.

She suddenly erupted in boils. She jumped up with a loud shriek. I'd actually thought about it. Did that mean I had made it happen? Could I still control my magic after all? But as I gazed around, my eyes fell on Cynthia. She had joined us at some point. She had wand pointed at Becky.

"How could you!?" Becky yelled at her.

"How could you read my letter from Cameron?" I asked her. "How did you even get it?"

"Just what is going on here?" Professor Longbottom asked as he walked over to us.

The Great Hall wasn't that full as it was a Sunday morning, but we still had drawn some attention on ourselves.

"She hexed me!" Becky said as she pointed at Cynthia who gave a small shrug.

"I was sticking up for Hayden, Professor Longbottom," she spoke up. "She was making fun of him because he's adopted."

"Well, as admiral as it is to stick up for a friend, you do not hex each other," he told her. "I am going to inform your Head of House about this. She'll decide your punishment. Go on back to the Hufflepuff table, Cynthia. I would like to talk to Becky and Hayden."

"Denny didn't do anything wrong," Cynthia said.

"I know he didn't," Professor Longbottom told her. "Now go on."

Cynthia glanced worriedly back at me before she walked back to her table. Professor Longbottom turned to look at us now.

"Professor, I need to get to the Hospital Wing!" Becky said.

"After I talk to you," he said to her. "Young Colleen here can take you."

"Professor, there has to be a rule against mail tampering!" I said angrily. I hadn't done anything wrong, and so I didn't want to stand here and be lectured. "She took my letter from Cameron. I've been expecting it all month and he has been wondering why I didn't get it! How did you even get it Becky?"

"That is a good question," Professor Longbottom said to her.

"An owl came in through the Common Room. It dropped it off with us! It came to us so that means we had the right to read the letter!" Becky said. "It's not as if I snuck into his room to get it."

"Did it have his name on it?" Professor Longbottom asked her.

"Well yes, well at least I think so. The printing was hard to read," she told him.

"And that should have told you that wasn't your letter to read," he replied. "Ms. Young, you are only supposed to read letters that are addressed to you. Not only because it could be someone else's private letter, but it could also be dangerous! I believe you knew it belonged to Hayden, but you kept it from him on purpose. I know you don't get along with each other. Am I right?"

"It wasn't important. From the looks of it; it just told him about school!" Becky protested.

"It was important!" I said angrily. "Cameron wanted me to read it! How would you feel if someone did that to you?"

"I think a weeks worth of detentions and a written letter of apology to Hayden will suffice," Professor Longbottom told her. "Don't read other people's mail! Colleen, take her to the Hospital Wing."

Colleen rolled her eyes and then joined Becky's side.

"Let's go," she said.

Once the girls had gone, Professor Longbottom turned back to me.

"What she did was out of line, but I want to give you a piece of advice Hayden," he said to me. "It's something I wish I would have figured out at your age. You can't let people like that get to you. I had a bully when I was your age, and he spent most of my school years here bothering me. If I'd just learned to ignore him, things could have turned out differently."

"Hard to ignore them when they read my letter," I said quickly.

"Yes, you're right about that, but I am meaning for everything else," Professor Longbottom said. "I've noticed your feud with not only those girls, but with young Judy from Slytherin too. It's better for you to ignore the small things so that it doesn't build up to the bigger things. Those girls are trying to get a rise out of you, Hayden."

"I know they are Professor," I said. "And it's easier said then done, but I'll try. I'm going to go back to the Common Room now."

I knew he was right, but it wasn't so easy either. I also knew all about him and Draco Malfoy. Most people did, and it had been hard for him to ignore it too. I grabbed my letter from mum off the table, and then turned to walk off. This time, Becky had gone way too far. It was one thing to taunt me, but it was another to mess with my little brother. I could try and ignore the little things in the future, but I wasn't going to ignore this! I didn't care if she had detentions all week or not. I needed to have my say in it too.

I left the Great Hall quickly, but slowed down when I heard clattering shoes rushing behind me. I knew it was Cynthia because she always wore her high heels or platforms around the castle.

"Did you get detention?" I asked her as I turned to face her.

"Not yet, but I probably will," she answered. "Professor Sinistra told me that she'd talk to me this afternoon about it. I expect it will just be lines or something."

"Well thanks for hexing her," I said to her.

"She shouldn't have said that!" Cynthia said indignantly. "Of course your mum wanted you. She had to give you up, right?"

I didn't want to get into all of it at that moment, so I just nodded. Someday maybe she would know the truth, but not now.

"I can't stand those girls," Cynthia said. "Especially Becky though. It's like she is another Judy."

"Some people are just impressionable," I said.

"I'm still really angry about Judy you know," she said. "She was always so nice, and then she just changes. She was one of my best friends. I feel really betrayed by her. Minnie, Cassidy and me all took her under our wing and this is how she repays us! I kind of want to write home to her mum about it. Her parents fought in the war and they would be very angry about this. But then it might seem like I am a tattle-tale. All I want to do is inform them of what their daughter has turned into."

"I don't think that would be tattle-taling but I think they must know by now anyway," I said. "She's had enough letters home about it. She's been in a lot of detention since we've been here."

"And it's not even the end of October," Cynthia said. "So are you busy today Denny? Or do you think we could go for a walk? It's nice outside today. We haven't spent much time together since we got here. Do you want to walk around the lake?"

"Sounds perfect," I said to her.

I was supposed to meet up with Andrew and Craig whenever they woke up, but they would understand. I couldn't think of a better day than spending it with a beautiful girl.

"Now is the time to ask her out," Craig told me later that week. "She can't be more clear about it, Hoofer."

"Or she just wanted to hang out," I said.

Craig rolled his eyes. He didn't get it though. I didn't want to mess this up. We had a pleasant day out by the lake, but then the moment she saw her Hufflepuff friends, she took off. She'd only given me a quick good-bye. Sure she had stuck up for me, and then we'd hung out together, but that didn't mean anything. She hung out with other blokes besides me. I pointed this out to Craig and Andrew.

"Maybe she was just nervous," Andrew said.

"Or she was upset you didn't make a move," Craig said.

"Or she just wants to be friends," I said. "I'd like to see you ask out a girl that you like."

"I would if the signals are clear enough," Craig said.

"But you don't know if she was giving them or not," I said to him.

"My mum was right when she said that youth is wasted on the young," Craig said and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

It was so easy for them to talk though. I could bet that if either one of them liked a girl though, they wouldn't make a move, especially Craig. I couldn't wait for the day that he truly did like a girl. I wasn't going to leave him alone about it. Neither him or Andrew would hear the end of it. I would bother them too when they didn't make a move. They didn't get just how nerve wracking it was. They could sit there and talk about how clear her signals were, but they were clueless. We hung out with plenty of girls after all.

"I bet he doesn't ask her out until we're seventh years," Andrew said to Craig.

"I bet you don't ask out any girl until we're seventh years," I said to him.

"I'll be the first one to ask out a girl," Craig said.

"So I guess neither of us will ever ask out a girl then," Andrew quipped. "Cause you'll never do it."

"First girl that I like I will," he said.

"I won't hold my breath," I said. "Otherwise you'd have done something about Grace."

"I didn't like her long enough. You've liked Cynthia since last year," Craig said.

"She won't be the only one you like," I said. "Next girl you like, you have to ask her out."

"And I will," Craig said.

"He won't do it," Andrew said.

I regretted even bringing up Cynthia to them. They would never have known if I hadn't told them. Now they weren't going to leave me alone about it. I'd just been so happy about spending the day with her. This was one of the reasons why I didn't like telling people things. I didn't mind some teasing, but at times it just got too annoying. They didn't know when to stop. Thankfully though, the razzing seemed to be between Andrew and Craig now. I reached for my message parchment to see if there any new messages. Ashley had been keeping me updated on what was going at home. Alyssa was being extra good lately, and she was truly sorry for what she'd done. I just hoped this time she did learn her lesson.

In the meantime, Minnie and I kept up our kissing sessions, and oddly enough it didn't seem so weird after a while. We decided to leave it for once a week. I wasn't sure how long we'd keep it going for. My feelings for her never changed either. Some people always said that when you snogged someone, it could make things change between you. However, it was still Cynthia that I wished I could be kissing instead of Minnie.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that you'll never drool," Minnie said to me. "Of course I don't have anyone else to compare you with, but I'd say you're not a bad kisser."

"You seem to know what you're doing," I said to her.

In fact, it was her did the leading with it and it made me think she was more experienced than she let on. I just basically copied what she did.

"Are you sure you haven't kissed anyone else?" I couldn't help but add.

"I haven't kissed anyone else. I'd tell you if I had. I don't see the point in keeping that from you. I just read a lot of the magazines," she said. "But Cassidy told me it comes naturally for some people. She told me that her first kiss wasn't awkward at all but one of the boys she kissed was really bad."

"I thought you'd said that she only kissed the one bloke," I said.

"She's kissed more now," Minnie answered with a shrug. "She is practising too, but just with different boys. She said that it's better to learn different people's techniques instead of just one. You know, she has been trying to convince me to try and snog and I keep telling her I don't want to kiss yet. She says I am going to be in for a surprise when I finally do kiss."

"You don't think Cynthia does that do you?" I asked.

I'd never considered that possibility but if were doing it, and if Cassidy did it and my friends were considering it, that had to mean she did it or she was thinking about it. I wanted to be her first kiss.

"I don't know. I could find out for you, but you know you can't get jealous if she has," Minnie said. "And if she does like you back, then it means she is trying to learn to be a good kisser for you."

If Minnie could find out if Cynthia was kissing other blokes, she could probably find out if she did like me. Girls did tell each other that kind of thing after all.

"And you could find out if she likes me back!" I said quickly.

"I've tried Hayden," Minnie responded. "I've always suspected she has just as I suspected it about you, but she won't tell me. I'm your cousin and your best friend, so she doesn't want to tell me if she does."

I made a face when she called me her cousin. Normally I was more than happy to call her my cousin, but not after we'd just been snogging. It just sounded weird. We weren't blood related at all, which was why our parents really wanted us to date but at that moment, I didn't want her to be my cousin. I said this to her and Minnie just rolled her eyes.

"You know people do marry their cousins," she said.

"I don't care," I said quickly. "They really shouldn't."

"You're funny Hayden," Minnie said giggling. "Anyway, I'll keep trying to find out for you. She blushes when I ask, and that is one sure sign. I've seen the way you two are together Hayden. I just think you shouldn't listen to Craig and Andrew though. You should give it a bit more time. Spend more time with her and get comfortable with each other. You're still nervous around each other. You're each others first crushes."

"How long should I wait though?" I asked her.

"When you don't feel so nervous about asking her out," Minnie said.

I didn't know if this was good advice or not, but Minnie would never steer me in the wrong direction. She was right when she said that I was still nervous about Cynthia. I just worried that if I waited too long that she would lose interest, that is if she did even like me.

"So tell me, is there any blokes you are interested in?" I asked her.

"Not yet," Minnie said quickly. "There are boys I think are cute, but there isn't anyone that I really like. I thought I liked Marco, but sometimes he can be an annoying prat. I think daddy is happy about that. He said that he hopes I don't like boys until I am thirty. He said I can't ever snog until I am thirty."

"Well then don't him about me," I said. "It will be me he hurts."

"It's why we made this deal in the first place," Minnie said. "But I think he is just lying when he says he'll hurt a boy I date. Now if that boy breaks my heart, it will be a different story. He'll probably just play the scary father routine."

"I honestly feel sorry for the bloke who you do date," I said. "I just hope Cynthia's father isn't like that."

"He seems nice, but then again he could be different with boys. Cynthia is a daddy's girl," Minnie said.

I didn't want to hear that. Alyssa was a daddy's girl and so was Minnie. Ben was already getting ready to hurt any boy that Alyssa might date, and she was years from dating yet. It was the same with Keith when it came to Michelle and Clarissa. In fact, I felt more sorry for the blokes who would date them more than any other. Keith was easy going for the most part, but he already got anxious about how pretty his daughters were and they were still little girls. I didn't think he had much to worry about with Michelle. Clarissa on the other hand was going to be boy crazy.

Minnie nodded when I said this to her.

"You know, I still don't understand why you dislike Michelle so much," she said.

"It's not that I dislike her," I said. "I just don't like hanging out with her either. I don't know what it is. She's a nice girl and she's never let her popularity get to her head like some girls do. Anyway, we should go find our friends. They're going to wonder where we are. If we keep disappearing off together, they are going to suspect something is going on."

We were supposed to meet up with our group later that day. Normally her and me waited until after we all met, but Minnie had pointed out that this might be weird. However, we didn't want to be late a lot together either.

"Sometimes I think April does," Minnie said. "She has started to hang out with Cassidy and me more and more and she has noticed. I just tell her that we are talking about family problems. It's believeable what with what happened with Alyssa and all."

"Who is April?" I asked with confusion.

I couldn't remember anyone named April in our class. Was she one of the kids who hadn't gone to the Primary school? I figured she had to have been. I still didn't know all the names of the ones who hadn't gone if they were in different houses. I didn't pay attention to the blokes in my own dorm who hadn't. I only paid attention to Becky because she was a bitch.

"She didn't go to the Primary school," Minnie answered. "She's really nice though but very shy. Maybe I'll invite her to come along. I can write her. She needs more friends anyway. She didn't talk to anyone for the first couple of weeks, so we started to talk to her and she's only starting to open up more. She's very pretty too."

"Well the more the merrier," I said with a shrug. "You know I'd like to get along with everyone just like our parents did. I don't want a big feud and I don't understand why some people want that. Why don't you write to her right now, and I'll just out to the court yard now? Then people won't think we were together anyway."

"Okay sure, but I don't think it will always be odd if we walk together," Minnie said. "People know we are best friends. But go on, we'll meet you out there in a bit."

I left the classroom while she sat down to write to April. We were going to have to find a new place in the castle to hang out soon. It was now late November and it was getting colder and colder out. From what I'd heard, it always got very cold in the winters at Hogwarts. It was even colder than at home. I could believe it since we were so close to the mountains. Florida actually was starting to sound better and better to me. I loved Hogwarts so far, but I was looking forward to going away for a week. I did miss my family after all.

The moment I entered the court yard, I was hit in the shoulder by a snow ball. I turned to see who had done it, but I couldn't see anyone around. Chances are they were hiding behind one of the large stone walls, and they'd used a charm. As I looked around, I thought I heard giggling to the right. Sure enough, there behind one of the walls, I could see the tip of someone's snow hat. So I began walking in the direction. Just as I did, I was pelted by a number of snowballs.

"You are all gits," I shouted but I was smiling.

I'd done the very same thing the week before to Colin and his mates. I really couldn't get upset when the tables were turned. Several grinning faces popped up after I shouted this.

"It was just our way of saying hello," Colin said to me as he rested his arms on the wall.

"Right," I said when I reached them.

So far it was just the Slytherin's and Ravenclaw's there. I wondered where Craig and Andrew were. I knew they'd planned on going to the library earlier that day. I'd already finished up my assignments, but they were behind, so they were trying to catch up.

"Where is everyone else?" Patrick asked me. "Figured Craig and Andrew would be with you at least."

"And I thought Minnie said she needed to talk to you about her mum," Cassidy said to me.

"Minnie went to go get some girl named April and Craig and Andrew were in the library, or they were supposed to be," I said with a shrug.

"Why did Minnie need to talk to you about her mum anyway?" Cassidy asked.

"You know Tasha is pregnant again. Well the pregnancy has been a more complicated this time," I said. "Our Brenda, Brianne and Ellen are pregnant too, and it's been hard on Ellen as well. Her and Tasha are talking about it a lot actually."

None of this was a lie. Ashley and Ben had been keeping me updated a lot on all of them. In fact, it turned out that Brenda was so much further ahead than we'd thought. She was actually due in January. It was odd because in the summer she was so sure that she wasn't pregnant. I didn't care much for Brenda, especially with the pregnancy comment to Ashley, so I hadn't paid much attention but Ben had just told me recently about the January due date.

"Your family is trying to be like the Weasley's." Patrick said.

"They're really not," I answered. "It's just a coincidence. I'm just glad we're not famous."

"I dunno. The Godson being adopted and all that," Colin said but I could tell he was joking.

It was actually a running joke that my family was trying to be less famous version of the Weasley's. We weren't the only ones with the big family though. I thought that the Tompkin family was trying to give them the run for their money. They had more family members than the Weasley's and all of put together. The only difference was that their kids were home-schooled instead of going to the primary school. I didn't know much about them except word of mouth, but they'd always been a really big family, even long before Harry Potter and the Weasley's had been in school.

I brought this up as I joined the others behind the wall.

"Yeah but the Tompkin's are a weird family. They never talk to anyone," Patrick said. "And they keep it in the family too and it's not about the blood purity either. It's like they just don't trust outsiders to belong to the family. It's probably why they are so weird. It's all that incest."

"Don't be gross Patrick," Cassidy said.

"I'm not being gross," he said to her. "It's the truth. They're a very weird family and it's like they have so much kids just so they can keep it in the family. At least with the Weasley's and the Hoofers, they just like having big familys. Even the Warter's want a big family, and they almost have as much kids as the Weasley's do."

"There is nothing wrong with having a lot of kids though," Cassidy said. "I actually wish I had a big family. You have friends no matter what. Maybe the Tompkin's just don't want to be lonely."

"Yes, that must be it," Albert said and he rolled his eyes. "I think I hear someone!"

"We're throwing more snowballs?" She asked as everyone began to hide behind the wall again.

"Yes we're throwing more snowballs," Colin said and he winked at her.

"We didn't do it to you," a Slytherin boy named Ricky said. He sometimes hung out with Colin and his mates. Apparently he was nose to the grindstone though, so he didn't often hang out with anyone.

"And I am thankful for it," Cassidy said.

But we didn't get the chance to throw snowballs at the newcomers. Minnie and April seemed to know what we were planning, and they snuck up behind us to yell. We all jumped.

"Nice try," Minnie said. "Can't do that every week you know."

Muttering, we all stood up only to be joined by Marco, his friend Rodney, Cynthia, Grace and a couple of their girlfriends.

"We knew what you were up to," Rodney said. "We sent Minnie and April first because we knew that you wouldn't hit them."

"Might have to change our plans about not throwing snowballs at girls then," I said.

"Where are Craig and Andrew then?" Colin said. "Don't tell me they're staying in the library all day."

I shrugged. I really wasn't sure what was going on with that. I would have thought they'd be out here by now. Craig looked forward to Saturday's the most because that was the only time he saw Colin outside of classes. Even though Andrew and me were his new best friends, it was clear he missed his old best friend. I remembered him telling us that his friendship with them was a superficial one, but it really couldn't have been that bad either. They were both very happy to see each other, and I didn't understand why they didn't hang out on other days besides Saturdays.

"They'll get here when they get here," Marco said with a shrug. "So Hoofer, why didn't you tell us about Becky? I just heard about it this morning from Cynthia here. She said it happened about a month ago."

"I didn't see the point in it," I answered him. And I really hadn't. Besides Craig, Andrew and obviously Minnie, I hadn't told anyone anything.

"Didn't you realize he's a mystery man," Craig said as they finally joined us. "It's hard enough for us to get anything out of him."

"I know, he always has been," Marco said.

"I'm right here," I said. "And I don't see the point in telling everybody everything. I never have, so I don't know why you lot are still surprised when I don't you things."

"Hayden likes his privacy," Minnie said. "He was even like that when we were little. In fact, I was the one who always answered for him."

"You still answer for him," Cassidy said while everyone else nodded in agreement.

"I wish mum and dad would have let me go to the primary school," April spoke up. "You lot have known each other for so long and you were already friends when you came here."

"Actually some our friendships have changed," Colin said. "I never hung out with these two before we started here," and he nodded to Patrick and Albert. "Not that we didn't get along, but we only talked to each other if we had to."

"And Minnie and Cassidy were my best friends," Cynthia said. "We're still friends of course," she added as she smiled at them, "but with living in Hufflepuff, I see Grace, Stacy and Melinda more now. We said we wouldn't let the houses change us and we still get along, but I can understand now how people make new friends. We spend more time with the people we are sorted with."

"Which is the whole point to these Saturday's," Marco answered. "Where were you two anyway?"

"Took us a lot longer to get through that Charms essay than we thought," Craig said.

"And that Transfiguration assignment," Andrew added.

"And that Herbology one," Craig continued.

"You know this wouldn't happen if you two would stop leaving your homework to the last minute," Cassidy said. "I don't understand why people do that, and then you stuggle to get it done."

"Not everyone is nose to the grind stone like you are," I pointed out to her.

"No but you can get it done early enough," Cassidy. "You never leave it to the last minute Hayden."

"No but I don't see the point in lecturing people either," I said.

Although usually I did give them hard time about it. I just didn't like it when other people did it. The way I saw it, it was payback for bothering me about Cynthia. I was usually just teasing them. With Cassidy or anyone else, they were lecturing them and it was really none of her business.

"Who cares anyway? We're here now," Craig said. "I doubt we were that late."

"You weren't," Minnie told him. "We got here like five minutes before you did."

Cassidy looked annoyed, but she didn't say anything else. I liked her and all, but she could be too much at times. I understood how annoying it could be when people were late, but she thought people should arrive at least fifteen or ten minutes early. On time in her opinion was actually late. She would also lecture you about homework or punctuality. Ellen had actually once compared her to Ben when I'd told her this. Apparently he'd been that bad when they'd been kids. I could believe it since he still hated lateness.

I glanced over at Marco to find that he was staring at her, but it wasn't in an annoyed way. He was actually smiling at her though. In fact, I thought it was actually a smile of admiration. Did that mean he liked her? I never would have thought that would happen. They would make a strange couple. Marco was extremely laid back whereas Cassidy could be very uptight. I looked away to see if anyone else noticed as well. My eyes fell on Andrew who raised his eyebrows at me. He'd noticed it too.

"So," he said quickly. "What are we going to do today?"

The following weeks after that went by quickly. Ashley wrote to me to tell me to send her a list of names of people who would want to come over for New Years eve. I was surprised by this. Other than maybe Minnie and Andrew, I'd never been allowed to invite a bunch of people for New Years. I was guessing she was allowing me to keep up the tradition that she'd started almost twenty years ago.

I wasn't going to be like her and invite basically the entire first year. I was only going to invite the people I got along with. That was my group of friends and that was it. It wouldn't even be most of the people I'd invited to my birthday party. They were all still welcome to come over in the summers if they wanted to, but for New Years, I didn't want them all there. Some of them I hadn't actually talked to since my birthday party. It wasn't because we didn't get along, it was just because we had our own lives now.

I think Ashley was actually disappointed when I sent her my small list. I think she was hoping that I would invite the whole class. When she responded back to me, she asked if I was sure I didn't want more people there. I wasn't like her though. I didn't need a party with everyone I'd ever talked to. She would have her own friends anyway, and chances are the kids would have their friends too. I just hoped I wouldn't be the baby-sitter. As this thought entered my mind, I quickly wrote and asked her this so that I wouldn't be in for a surprise later on. In the past, that's how it had been. The kids stayed in the living-room and did their own thing, and Minnie and me had to make sure the little ones didn't do anything stupid.

No, you and your friends can do your own thing. That is Michelle's and Charles' job now. I've decided that once you lot are Hogwarts age that you can mingle with the adults, go outside or even stay upstairs if you desire. I know I probably shouldn't have to tell you this, but I will anyway. Stay away from the alcohol. Our rule for anyone fifteen and under is still just butterbeer. We'd better not even catch you sneaking any either.

And that was another reason why I didn't want a house full of kids in my year. The ones that I was inviting were people I could trust. If I told them not to try and sneak any alcohol, they wouldn't. Besides, if Ashley was saying we could stay outside, I figured most of the night we could spend it in the pool or something. The other boys in my dormitory were friendly enough, but I knew I couldn't trust that they wouldn't try and drink. The people I was inviting respected Ben and Ashley too much, but I doubted the others really cared all that much.

"You should see if she'll let you invite us to Florida too," Craig joked.

"Well she probably would," I said. "Not all of you, but I wouldn't rule it out. She always asks us if there are people we'd like to bring along if we go."

"I would love to, but unfortunately mum wouldn't want that," Andrew said. "It was hard enough to get permission for New Years Eve. She said I'll see you at school and that I didn't need to be going to your place for a night. I finally managed to convince her though. They won't be home because they have a party to go to, and I told her that she would just be leaving me home as a baby-sitter anyway. I told her that I wanted to be with my friends and that she knew she could trust Ashley. So she finally gave in."

"I'm still surprised your mum let you come to Hogwarts," Craig said.

"Or that she doesn't insist you come home for weekends," I said.

"If that was an option, I'm sure she would," Andrew muttered.

"It might be," Craig said. "It's just no one ever wants to. I don't see why it wouldn't be though."

"Well I think it is because Ashley wrote to me and told me that the kids were asking me to come home for a weekend. I'm pretty sure parents can do that if they want," I said.

"Are you going to go home for weekends then?" Craig asked.

"Ashley told me that's up to me. She said she'd never pull me out of school, but if I ever wanted to spend time with the kids, I could. I'm still on the fence on that one," I said. "I think I'd rather just stay here. I like it here on the weekends. I know they felt the same way, so I think that's why she said there was no pressure."

"Well mum never needs to find that out," Andrew said. "I don't want to go home. I love my siblings, but I want to be here on weekends. I just want to go home on holidays."

"I feel the same way," Craig said. "That's when the most fun is, and besides we can't do magic at home. Mum and dad even told me that when I am older I can stay for holidays if I want. They said that can't be until fifth year though."

"I'll never be able to stay holidays," I said.

But I wasn't sure I wanted that anyway. I loved Hogwarts, but I did want to my family sometimes too. It wasn't enough to go home on the weekends though, but I couldn't stay at Hogwarts for the whole school year either. I couldn't go ten whole months without seeing my family.

"Blimey, I wish I could do that," Andrew said with a sigh. "But I'd never be allowed to."

"Why would you two want to?" I asked as I looked to my two friends. "I like it at Hogwarts, but you can't tell me you don't miss home sometimes either. I've been to both your houses and your parents are great."

"Because mum smothers me," Andrew said. "And she is going to be even worse when I go home at Christmas. She doesn't like us to do much outside the house. Sometimes it's like she gets jealous about the fact that we have friends. I love my parents but they are just too overbearing. I've never had the freedom I've experienced here before now."

"My parents can just be strict," Craig said. "Either that, or they make me stay with my grandparents and it's so boring there. Not everyone has easy-going parents Hoofer. You know, I understand that we need to do chores. I don't care about that, but it's the fact that it has to be all perfectly done. Last summer I even volunteered to clean the kitchen for mum because she'd had a long day at work, and I could tell she was tired. So I did and then they made me do it again because it wasn't up to their standards, and then mum ended up doing it herself after I'd cleaned it twice!"

"Why don't they just do it by magic?" Andrew asked. "I've never understood that with Ashley and Ben."

"They do it by magic," I said quickly. "They only do it manually when they are stressed. It's like they think the hard work is a stress reliever or something. They also do the dishes just because they usually want one of us to help just so we can learn to do it. We do have Mully a few times a week though."

"Mum is the same way," Craig said quickly. "They'll do it by magic too, but she says that magic doesn't clean everything. Actually, a lot of the time she does magic first and then cleans afterwards."

"When I am on my own, I am using magic for everything," Andrew said. "That's the whole point to us coming here. I don't think I'll live half a muggle life either like your parents do Hayden."

"They wanted us to grow up in both worlds," I said. "I don't think I could give up the telly or the video games. I think they felt the same way too. Ben actually wanted it more than Ashley did and he grew up in a magical home."

"It is impressive," Craig said who had grown up in a magical home too. "I didn't see any of that stuff until I went to your place for the first time, and then when I met other muggleborns too."

"I find magic more cool than our stuff," Andrew said with a shrug. "So do you think your parents are going to let us stay up as late as we want, or are we going to have to go to bed as soon as it's midnight."

"I dunno," I said. "Now that we're Hogwarts aged, I think they won't make us go right at midnight but I don't think it will be as late as we want either. The other kids will have to be in bed right after the countdown but I don't think we will."

"And you think they'll let us swim?" Andrew asked.

"I don't see why not. Ashley said we can go outside, but I bet it's cold out. It always is," I replied. "And I know they swim in the pool during their parties."

"And you can give Cynthia a kiss at midnight," Andrew said.

"Don't count on it," Craig said. "Unless maybe we make that deal with everyone. There should be enough girls for all the blokes. We'll say everyone has to kiss someone at midnight. Then Marco and Cassidy can kiss and Cynthia and Hayden can kiss."

"Why don't you just worry about who you kiss?" I asked him. "Why are you trying to set everyone else up?"

"Because neither you or Marco will ever do anything about it on your own," Craig said.

"So who are you going to snog then?" Andrew asked him. "Or do we get to choose for you? You're choosing for Hayden and Marco, so I think we should choose for you."

"They already like them though," Craig answered. "I'm just giving them a push."

"Doesn't matter," I said. "I still think we should get to choose for you."

"I'd say Minnie for Craig," Andrew said looking to me. "What do you think Hayden?"

"I'll snog Minnie," Craig said quickly. "She's cute enough. Unless of course Hoofer here has an issue with that."

I knew that Andrew had chosen Minnie because she would play hard to get with him. She would snog him, but she was going to make it hard for him. She could be stubborn like that. She didn't care about practising with me, but I knew what she was like and Andrew did too. Not that he knew that her and me had been practising, but she liked teasing boys. Blokes had liked her even back in primary school and she liked making it hard for them just because some of them thought she should like them back. Craig wasn't like that of course, but she would play hard to get just because he was expecting a kiss from her at midnight.

"Nope, you can try and snog Minnie to your hearts desire," I said.

"Well we should talk to the others about this first," Craig said with a frown. "I mean, obviously everyone has to be on board with it. I don't want the girls to feel uncomfortable either."

"Of course they are going to be on board with it," I said. "Everyone has to be. I have no problem with it. I just don't want it to be a set up either because I am not an idiot. I know what you're doing. I might like Cynthia, but I don't like pressure either. It's not as easy as you're making it out to be. So don't try and set me up to snog her if you're not willing to do the same with a girl."

"I'm willing to snog any girl if they're pretty," Craig told me. "I just don't want to snog Minnie if she doesn't want to either. I don't want you to set me up to get slapped or something."

"You honestly think I'd do that to Minnie?" I asked. "I would never let some bloke kiss her if she didn't want it. It's not just about you getting slapped Craig and I wouldn't do that to you. It's about forcing my best friend and cousin to get kissed when she doesn't want it, and that's wrong. Of course she is going to be on board with it."

"No I guess you wouldn't," Craig said. "It's just she does have a fury temper; so that's why I wondered."

"Yes, but I wouldn't force her to be kissed if she didn't want it," I said. "We'll talk to everyone about this first before we decide who else is being kissed."

I felt annoyed with Craig for thinking that, but in a way, I could understand why he had thought it. However, he also knew I was protective of her and I would never let something like that happen.

"Hayden is going to get his first kiss," Craig said with a smirk as if to break the tension.

I smiled and raised my eyebrows at him. I would never break my deal with Minnie, but it wouldn't hurt to let them know that ship had already sailed. Andrew and Craig stared back at me and then looked at each other.

"Who have you been snogging?" Andrew asked me. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"Am I supposed to share every detail of my life with you?" I asked.

"Not the boring mudane stuff that you usually do," Craig said. "But this is big."

"Didn't realize we were supposed to gossip like girls," I said.

"I bet he's bluffing!" Andrew said to Craig. "He just wants us to think he has."

Craig glanced over at me and then shook his head.

"No, I don't think he is," Craig said. "Come on Hoofer, why the secrecy? It's good if you've been snogging girls. I just never thought you had it in you."

"I don't want to be a bad kisser," I answered.

"But who has let you snog them then? Is it Minnie?" Craig asked.

I quickly made a face at that. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to look like a big shot. I didn't want them to guess the truth. I didn't want to betray my best friend. So I shook my head quickly.

"No, I couldn't ever kiss her. She is like a sister to me. Not even for practice. Besides, do you honestly think she would let me use her to practice like that? She'd be offended if I even suggested it," I said.

"That's true," Andrew said with a smile. "I think she would hex you for that one. So who is it then?"

"It's not just one girl," I said. "And I don't want to say who they have been. I really don't like telling stories like that. I shouldn't even be telling you. I just didn't want you to think it's my first kiss."

"Ah I see, the girls are ashamed they've kissed Hoofer," Craig said winking at me.

"Sure let's go with that, but while we're talking about Minnie, there are just some things she doesn't need to know about," I said. "So let's just keep this one to ourselves. I don't think she'd approve of me snogging random girls."

"Sure thing mate," Andrew said and Craig nodded in agreement.

I sighed with relief. It was a good thing I was a good liar. I'd learned years ago how to shut off my emotions. Thanks to mum, I'd become very good at lying to make things seem different than they really were.

Surprisingly, everyone in our group was all for us kissing each other at midnight. The only thing was, they thought we should put names in a hat to draw instead. I was actually relieved about this. I did hope Cynthia would pull my name, but at least this way it wouldn't seem like a set up. If everyone had a suspicion about I felt, it would seem strange that Craig and Andrew had picked her for me. We were going to do it New Years Eve.

"You seem disappointed now," I said to Craig with surprise as we drew closer to the holidays. He didn't seem happy with the plan now.

"Minnie is beautiful," he said.

"Ooh so it's you that actually wants Minnie," Andrew said. "That's why you've always given Hayden a hard time."

"Not really," Craig said. "But out of all the girls we hang out with; she is the prettiest one."

"I beg to differ," I said thinking about Cynthia.

It wasn't that I found Minnie unattractive. I knew she was a good-looking girl, it was just hard for me to think of her that way. Besides, out of all the girls we hung out with, Cynthia was the prettiest one.

"If you hadn't grown up with Minnie, you would think the same thing," Andrew said. "She is the prettiest out of the girls. How did she end up with black curly hair when the rest of the family has brown hair?"

"I think it came from her mum's side," I said with a shrug. "I'm not denying that she is attractive. I just don't think she is the prettiest."

"You're just biased because of Cynthia," Craig said.

"And the fact that you two have known each other for life," Andrew said.

"I just think there is a love triangle going on here," I said.

I was glad I could finally find something to tease them about, and I knew Minnie would be amused when I told her.

"She is beautiful but I don't like her like that," Andrew said. "I can admit when a girl is attractive."

"Same here," Craig said. "I just hope I don't get stuck with Cassidy."

"Cassidy isn't bad looking," I said.

"She's kind of plain though," Andrew said.

"I guess, but I wouldn't be upset if I had to kiss her either. She isn't as pretty as the other girls, but I wouldn't run away from her either. Now if Olivia was going to be there, I would. You have to admit that Olivia makes Cassidy look like a model," I said. "Besides Andrew, you used to like her. How can you say she is plain now?"

"Olivia makes Amber look like a model, and she is definitely not cute," Craig said. "It's not about Cassidy's looks. I don't think she is that bad looking either. I just don't want to kiss her either. And what did happen with you and Cassidy, Andrew? Hoofer is right. You did like her."

"Don't worry about it," Andrew said turning away.

"I don't think so," I said quickly with some irritation. "The two of you don't let me keep secrets. What happened Andrew? Did you ask her out and she turned you down?"

"No but she found out about it," Andrew said. "Someone must have told her. She told me she'd never go for someone like me. She said I wasn't a bad looking bloke, but I am too much of a mama's boy. And I never really found her that pretty when I did like her. I just liked her. Then she said that to me."

"She seriously said that?" Craig asked. "Who would have told though?"

"Maybe I was just obvious," Andrew said. "I don't really know. It's not that I hate her, but it's just that kind of comment does bug me. Everyone knows that I can't stand how much mum hovers. I never thought she would say something like that. She has always seemed so nice."

"When did that happen?" I asked.

"Back in September," Andrew said. "Look, I don't want to get into it too much. Her and me seem to have a truce. I don't want things to be awkward with our group. It's why I didn't say anything. I knew you two would be angry about it. Don't confront her."

"Well, it just makes me want to kiss her even less," Craig said. "That's for sure. I hope for you sake mate that she doesn't draw you either."

Andrew shrugged. "It will be worse for her than me. I'm not going to dwell on it. Let's just be glad it's almost the Christmas holidays. You two are welcome to come over anytime you want."

In a way, he reminded me of me when I wanted to change the subject. He seemed determined not to talk about it anymore. He even looked at the two of us defiantly. Craig and I exchanged looks. Another first. Normally it was Craig and Andrew who did this when it came to me.

"Sure we'll go over, and if your mum let's you; you can come over too," I finally said.

It seemed odd to be back at home. I'd only spent nearly four months in the castle, but being home still felt so different to me. I wasn't used to electricity, or even a house. In fact, my house actually felt small now just because Hogwarts was so big. I was glad to be back with my family though.

The first thing we did when I got home was start on my room. I never used to mind the plain white walls, but now being back, I found them boring. Now I understood what Ashley meant when she kept insisting I do something. The best part about it was that it was a family project. Even Hailey was going to be involved in it. It reminded me when we'd decorated Hailey's room for her to surprise Ashley.

"Will we be able to come in here now?" Alyssa asked as she helped me.

I'd drawn the Gryffindor crest on the wall, and we were now painting it together.

"Not when I am at home," I told her. "When I am at home and I am not doing something private you can."

"I just miss you when you're gone," Alyssa said. "So sometimes it's comforting for me to be in here. When mum comes in to clean, I come too but I haven't been alone."

I glanced over at the stuffed animals that sat on my old toy chest. I'd never been able to give up on my old toys. It was hard to part with them, so I'd just set them up instead, even if I no longer played with them. My eyes fell on my favourite stuffed cat. It was a big white and fluffy one, Ashley had given it to me when I was about three or so. It had been my comfort when mum had been mean to me, or when she'd sent me away. I took it everywhere and it had actually been hard for me to leave it at home. I just figured it would be pathetic for a twelve-year-old boy to take a stuffed cat to school.

I set my paint brush back into the paint and walked over to it. I picked it up and walked back over to Alyssa who looked at me with surprise.

"Here, you can take care of him when I am at school," I told her as I handed it out to her. "When you miss me, you'll have him."

"You're letting me have him?" She asked me. "But he's always been your favourite toy. I remember when you'd get angry with us for touching him."

"I'm loaning him to you," I said. Even though I was twelve, I wasn't ready to give him up completely. "I want him back eventually, but for now I am not using him. There is no point in him just sitting in here. So you can keep him company, and he'll comfort you."

Alyssa set her paint brush down in the can and took him from me. She hugged him tightly to her.

"Thank you Hayden," she said. "So you're really not angry with me anymore?"

"I forgave you a long time ago. You learned your lesson," I told her. "And I know you'll take good care of him when I'm at school."

The twins and Ashley and Ben were on the other side of the room. They were painting the walls Gryffindor red for me. They missed this exchange. Hailey was sitting on the floor, not too far from us and painting the wall a gold colour. The wall we were working on was already painted and dried. They'd done it first so I could draw on it.

"I'd better go put him in my room," Alyssa said. "I don't want him to get paint on him."

She ran off before I could mention that Ashley or Ben could get it off. I turned back to the wall to finish painting the crest. I didn't ask why they hadn't just charmed the walls. They both seemed insistent that we do it the muggle way. Maybe it was because it was more of a family thing that way. It had been the same way when we'd worked on Hailey's room. Alyssa returned back moments later.

"Is Andrew angry with me?" She asked.

"No," I said.

"So he'll still read stories to me when he comes over?" She pressed.

"I think Andrew enjoys it more than you do," I said to her. "He was disappointed in you, but we've all forgiven you. I've heard that you've been a very good girl since then. Since I've been home, I've noticed that you've been very helpful, especially with the twins."

Alyssa nodded.

One thing about Alyssa was that she was generally a good kid, but when she did misbehave, she could feel guilty about it for weeks afterwards. I actually felt guilty for calling her a spoiled brat. At times she could act that way, but for the most part she was a good kid. At times I knew I could be unfair when it came to her or the boys. Ashley and Ben did their best to make sure they weren't spoiled, and when I called the kids spoiled brats, I was insulting their parenting as well as the kids. It was just some of the resentment I could feel at times.

"Mum and dad said that I'm going to be a special helper this year at New Years," Alyssa continued. "Michelle and Charles are in charge of all us kids but I get to be a special helper this time. I told them that I am not a little kid anymore, and they agreed! So I get to help!"

"Good for you," I said.

"We wanted to be able to play with you and your friends but mum and dad said no. Now that you're Hogwarts age, you don't have to be with us. I can't wait until I am a first year. It's going to take forever before I am a big girl," Alyssa said.

"It won't take too long," I told her. "Before you know it, you're going to be seventeen."

"That's forever," Alyssa said. "It's taking forever for me to be eight!"

"It's only a couple of more months," I said with amusement.

She was so eager to be grown up. I knew kids usually were, but she seemed to be the most impatient out of all the kids. Minnie at one time had been impatient as well. I remembered when we'd been that age, and she'd lamented about being seven instead of eight. I'd never made a big deal about turning eight. It was ten for me, and than obviously twelve. In my mind, ten had meant that you were a big kid now. Maybe for girls it was different though.

"What is the big deal about turning eight anyway?" I asked her. I'd never asked Minnie, but perhaps Alyssa could give me some insight on that.

"It means I am not a little kid anymore. Eight and older means you're a big kid. Seven and younger means you're still little," she answered. "But you know what age I really would like to be?"

"Eleven?" I asked her thinking it was obvious.

"Nope. Well yes, because then I can be a first year, but that's not the age I think is the best. I think thirteen will be the best age and that's what you will be soon," Alyssa said. "Soon you will be a teenager Hayden."

"Alyssa, I still have quite a while before I am thirteen," I said to her. "That's not until next September."

"You're so lucky though," Alyssa said. "Teenagers are so cool and they get to do everything!"

"Well, I don't know about that. Now let's finish this crest," I told her. "And when we go to Florida, you and me can spend a day together. We're both the big kids of the family after all.

Alyssa beamed up at me looking very proud.

The week in Florida was a lot of fun and it was a nice relief to get away from the bitter cold in the UK. Apparently it was even cold for Florida standards, but to me, it was still warm. We couldn't go swimming unless it was the afternoon though because it was slightly cool in the mornings and evenings.

One of the biggest changes I noticed was Ashley. Before I'd gone off to school, she'd been so anxious, especially when it came to Cameron or Hailey. However, all she did was cast a warming charm on the kids, and a barrier charm so they couldn't go out too far in the water and she relaxed on the beach with a book. It was Ben who seemed a little worried about them just because of the waves, but whatever charm she had cast seemed to prevent Hailey to be able to go too far. She didn't anyway. She seemed content just to let it be ankle deep, but there were too many of watching her anyway. The last time we'd been in Florida, Ashley had stressed about Hailey being too near the waters.

I mentioned this to Ben one evening while him and me were gathering some firewood for a fire on the beach. It was kind of cold that evening, so we were all wearing sweaters and jeans or sweat pants.

"It's been amazing," Ben said to me with a nod. "She will never be the same as she used to be, no one can be after they went through that. However, she is basically the same woman she used to be. There is still some anxiety there, but not as much. Cameron and William really don't have much memories of the way she used to be, so it's a surprise for them too. Cameron even told her that she's been a lot more fun lately. She's also slowly turning back to being that opinionated girl she was. If I did something that angered her, she would tell me without fear. The last four years, even before Hailey she wouldn't just because of my break down and all. But I do worry sometimes there could be a setback, so I do watch out for her. Not that I should be telling you that."

"I don't mind," I said.

"You're still a child," Ben said. "You've been through a lot too, but Hayden when we took you in we wanted you to have a childhood too. We wanted that before we took you in. You've been taking on adult problems for too long. You shouldn't be taking on ours as well."

"I'm fine," I responded. "I don't feel stressed at all right now. Things are going really good at school and mum knows where she stands with me. I don't mind hearing about that stuff especially since I knew all about it. I've known for the last few years that both of you needed to relax. I'm the one who brought it up after all. Kids worry about their parents just as much as parents worry about the kids. It goes two ways, Ben."

"You sound so much older than twelve," Ben said and he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me. "Even if you do worry, just promise me that you will still be a teenager Hayden. Enjoy your youth while you can. Trust me, it goes by quickly and then you have a teenaged step son and four little ones at home."

From what I'd heard, Ben had never really been a child himself. Maybe that was why he wanted me to be one. He didn't want me to miss out what he or even Michael had. I thought for the most part that I acted like a kid though. I thought back to the times in the common room or the court yard. At times we'd acted even Alyssa's age. So I didn't think I was too grown up all the time.

"I still have fun," I assured him. "We always all hang out on Saturdays, and lately we've been having snowball fights. We decided we weren't going to let the houses end our friendships, even if we aren't as close as we were before. All except Judy that is. She is worse than Colleen now because she calls people like me mudbloods."

"I still have a hard time believing that," Ben said. "She always seemed like a sweet girl. I never thought she'd go down the Denver route."

"Why did Ashley forgive him for that?" I asked. "He did that right after the war. I can't forgive her, even if she stops and apologizes. It's wrong. So many people died because of all that."

"She's always been a forgiving person," Ben answered. "We weren't too impressed about that either, but Denver managed to prove himself in the end anyway. He only did the mudblood thing for a couple of months and then stopped. His main issue with Ashley was that she accidentally threw fire at him. As much as you hate Judy, you should pity her more. She has long and hard road ahead of her. Eventually she is going to have to make a choice, and it's going to be a hard one, and one that can cost her a lot. It won't only be her so called friends, but other things as well. There is always going to be someone out there who hates muggleborns, and it could cost her life eventually if people knew she was faking."

"But you don't think there will be another You-Know-Who or wannabe's do you?" I asked. "Things are supposed to be different now."

"You take History of Magic Hayden," Ben said. "You know that this has always happened. You-Know-Who isn't the first, and he won't be the last. You should know all about Salazar Slytherin by this point. I truly hope that none of you ever have to deal with that in your lifetime. I hope we never have to again either. However, you know never know what the future brings. Whatever does happen though, you'll end up better off because of the choices you've made, and Judy will have to learn to live with hers."

"I hope she'll never have to make that decision," I replied and I meant it too. Perhaps there was a road to forgiveness after all. I just could never be her friend.

"I knew you'd say something like that," Ben said. "Come on, let's get back. I'm sure they're wondering what is taking us so long."

I nodded and followed him back to where the others were sitting. Ashley had already started a fire, and the kids were roasting marshmallow, except Hailey. Alyssa was roasting two for her. Hailey was snuggled in Ashley's arms. She was the only one out of the kids who hadn't really changed, except perhaps she talked more. The other three had growth spurts while I'd been away. It was amazing how much could change in a few months, and I wondered if there was a big change in me as well. Cameron was the most surprising to me. He had once been shorter than William, but they were now the same height, but William had grown at least an inch too. So did that mean Cameron would be very tall, or was he just making up for lost time?

Another thing that surprised me was how well the kids were getting along. Usually by this point, Alyssa and the boys would be fighting. Ever since I'd been home, there had only really been some minor disagreements. I wondered just how long this was going to last? Was it because they were so happy to see me that they were being good? It was something I'd have to ask Alyssa about later. I doubted it would last. At the moment, they were all side by side and laughing together. I hurried over to them to join in. Ben was right, I did need to be a kid.

"I love your room now Hayden," Minnie said as she glanced around my room.

It was New Years eve and everyone was in my room. Everyone, except April had been in it before and they were all looking around with impressed looks on their faces. We had done a really great job on it. I thought it had more of a cozy look to it.

"I always forget that you are an artist," Craig said as he stared at the lion that was currently pacing back and forth on the wall. Ashley had managed to charm it to act like a lion, and it was always doing something differently, although at night it did sleep.

"You painted that?" April asked looking at me with admiration. "But that's amazing!"

"Denny is always drawing things," Cynthia told her. "One time in Primary school, he drew everything for a play we had and we just cut it out."

"You should do something more with that," Cassidy told me. "Maybe you could illustrate childrens books someday."

"I don't want to illustrate children's books. I just draw for the fun of it," I told her a bit more rudely than I usually would be. I just couldn't get past the fact that she'd called Andrew a mama's boy.

Cassidy glanced at me with surprised and then shrugged. Minnie turned to stare at me, likely wondering why I was being so rude to her best friend.

"Hayden, let's go down and get some drinks for everyone," she said confirming this, before she turned to the others. "Why don't the rest of you get the names started? We might as well draw names now. If anyone wants out, now is the time to speak up."

We left the room quickly, passing Alyssa's room on the way. We could hear shouting excited voices, so I glanced in as we went. I knew that she had her friends over as well, but the twins were in her room too. She never let them in her room. The majority of the younger kids were in there.

"That's odd," Minnie said as she noticed this too.

"They've been getting along the entire time I've been home," I said. "I don't know what is going on with them."

"Trevor has been good too, but I just thought it's because of the babies," she said.

"What do you mean babies?" I asked her.

"Ooh," Minnie said quickly. "I guess I never told you. Mum is having twins!"

We were at the top of the steps now, but I stopped and looked at her. Was she serious?

"She's having twins!? Seriously? Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"Well I only just found out," Minnie said. "You were in Florida and you told us not to send you messages because you wanted family time."

"That's important though!" I said. "That's amazing. How does your mum feel about that? They used to teased Ashley and Ben all the time about William and Cameron."

"Yeah I know," Minnie said grinning. "They weren't even going to tell me but I guessed. They wanted it to be a surprise but I thought mum looked bigger than usual and I remembered how Aunty Ashley looked when she was pregnant and I asked. I think Trevor might be overwhelmed now. He's been jealous, but now that there are two on the way, it's worse. It's not just because he isn't going to be the youngest anymore, but he wants to know why mum didn't give him a twin either. He doesn't seem to understand that it's not something parents can choose."

"He'll learn that's a good thing too though," I said. "The boys are happy most of the time, but sometimes they hate having to share everything like birthdays. So do your parents know if they are boys or girls?"

"Both," Minnie said happily. "They're having a boy and a girl."

"Blimey," I said and then I started to walk down the steps again.

"So what was that about with Cassidy?" Minnie asked as she joined me. "You never talk to her like that."

"She called Andrew a mama's boy," I said and I quickly explained what he had told us. "I just wonder how she found out that he even liked her."

"Well, I told her I suspected it but I never knew she'd say something like that," Minnie said. "She actually said that to him? I'll talk to her Hayden."

"Andrew doesn't want things to be awkward with her," I said.

"Well I'll make sure things aren't, but I am going to talk to her about that Hayden," Minnie said. "I can't believe she would say something like that! I've known her for so long. Other than you, I thought she was one person I knew the best! I'll talk to her later."

Most of Ashley's and Ben's guests were already there, but it was about six in the evening. They were all spread out downstairs. Several people greeted us as we went through. I wasn't surprised to see that Hailey had latched onto Jared. He was in the living-room and watching some kids show with her. What amused me was that some of the other adults, their old dorm mates for that matter, had joined them.

"Cheers!" Hank said to us as he raised a glass of something likely with alcohol as the two of us glanced at him with surprise.

In the kitchen, there was trays of food and drinks on every available space.

"Ready for refreshments?" Ashley asked us as soon as she spotted us. "You two can take up the trays of butterbeer and some of the food trays."

"We only have two hands each," I reminded her wondering if she was already into the liquor.

"But you have wands," she said. "And I know you can levitate."

"They can't do magic!" Brenda said looking at Ashley with disapproval. "How much have you had to drink?"

"I haven't actually," Ashley said. "But as long as kids have permission from their parents, they can do magic. I am giving them permission to do use it. Brenda, you know that rule is mainly in place so that muggleborn kids don't do it."

"And we've been letting Minnie practice at home," Barry spoke up as he joined Ashley's side. "As long as it's under parental supervision, it's fine. I really don't care if she uses it right now to take some food upstairs. Leave the parenting up to us, Brenda."

"The bad parenting you mean?" Brenda asked.

"Bad parenting?" Barry asked her stepping forward. "Why? Because I am not overly strict with my children? I happen to work at the Ministry and I know the guidelines when it comes to underage children and magic. Children are allowed to do magic under parental supervision."

"Oh, and are you going to follow them upstairs to supervise this?" Brenda asked. "It's one thing to supervise, it's another to let them whip their wands out at any time. No wonder Alyssa thought it was okay to go to Hogwarts. You lot let your kids do whatever they want!"

"That's out of line Brenda!" Ben said angrily. "Alyssa shouldn't have done that, and she was punished for it. But at least our kids aren't afraid of us! One of these days Richard is going to snap! You are so strict with him, especially ever since you've been pregnant. That poor boy never gets to do anything! I've already noticed there are some signs of attitude. Don't stand here and lecture us about our parenting when you're not the perfect parent either. Our children most certainly aren't perfect, but they aren't scared to be themselves either."

"Let's go," Minnie murmured to me.

Muttering the spells to levitate the trays and then to allow them to float in front of us, we left the room as quickly as we could. Leave it to Brenda to ruin what was supposed to be a fun night. What was she even doing here anyway? She was so heavily pregnant and I thought she could have the baby at any time. When she'd been pregnant with Richard, she had avoided all parties and most get togethers.

"Apparently Richard already is sick of Aunt Brenda," Minnie told me as went into the living room.

"Rebels!" Stan shouted at us.

"What naughty kids you two are," Jared added.

I just winked at him and we continued on.

"I didn't think it would take long," I said. "I noticed even last summer he was giving her some looks and some attitude."

"Richard has been coming over a lot I guess, or even he's been here or at Aunty Brianne's," Minnie said. "Mum said it might just be pregnancy hormones, but dad doesn't think so. He thinks she is going to even be harder on him when Anthony is born."

"She's having another boy then?" I asked as we began climbing the stairs.

"Yes, they wanted to know what they should buy and they still have some of Richard's old things," Minnie answered. "I'm surprised she is even here."

"I was thinking the same thing. I remember with Richard that she never went anywhere."

"Maybe she just wants to make everyone else as miserable as she is," Minnie said. "I feel bad saying things like that, but she shouldn't have called our parents bad parents. It's not as if we're playing around with magic. We are just bringing the trays up and this is good practice. I've never done it this long before."

"Neither have I," I said. "And I know it's going to be one of the spells on our final exams. Maybe she thinks that once we get upstairs, we're going to a bunch of magic."

"Yeah likely, but remember what she said in the summer? She was against it then as well," I said. "She just thinks everything should be followed to a tee."

Everyone looked at us in surprise when we brought the trays in.

"The Hoofers are actually breaking the rules?" Marco asked. "Guess you aren't that goody goody after all."

"I've never been a goody," I replied with a smile and then muttered the spell to set the tray down. "It did cause a commotion with Brenda though. I bet they're still arguing down there."

"Aunt Brenda actually called our parents bad parents!" Minnie said indignantly.

"Why is she so uptight?" Craig asked. "I've always noticed that. The rest of your parents are easy-going but she isn't."

"She was like that even as a kid," I said. "I don't know what is wrong with her. She actually calmed down a bit apparently, but now she is really bad again."

"But I thought we couldn't do magic outside of school?" April said.

"If our parents give us permission then we can," I said. "But only in magical homes. It's usually just so kids can practice at home though under parental supervision. This was practice though in a way. I've never been able to hold it up for that long, and we were talking while we did it!"

"That is quite good. I would have dropped it," Andrew said.

"Anyway, did you lot put names in a hat?" Minnie asked.

"Yes, we used your old Cannon's hat," Craig told me as he pointed at a hat on the desk. "I didn't know you liked them."

"I don't," I said. "I got that when I was six. It's why it's so small. I've tried to pawn it off on one of the boys but they hate the Cannon's. So I've left it on the shelf. Well then line up girls and pick a name from the hat."

I truly hoped it would be Cynthia who would pick out my name. Minnie walked over first and plucked out a piece of paper. What if it was her who drew my name? We wouldn't hear the end of it if she did. We'd ended our kissing sessions right before the holidays. We figured we knew enough by that point. What if we did have to kiss and it looked as if we knew what we were doing with each other though?

"Craig," Minnie said as she read the name aloud.

Cassidy went up next and I truly hoped that it wouldn't be Andrew. I could tell he was thinking the same thing because he had his fingers crossed. Craig meanwhile was trying to hide a smile.

"Patrick," Cassidy said.

Cynthia went up next and it was my turn to cross my fingers. Please choose me. Please choose me. Please choose me.

"Marco," Cynthia said and I couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her voice.

April went up next. I wondered who I would end up with then. The rest of the girls were cute, but I'd really hoped that for once things would work out for me. What if it ended up being one of Cynthia's friends instead. Would she be jealous? Maybe she would and they wouldn't do it, or maybe the girls would even trade. I was sure Grace would do that for me.

"Hayden," April said and she smiled shyly at me.

I smiled back, and surprisingly, I was as disappointed as I thought I would be. Even though I'd wanted it to be Cynthia, I had no problem with April at all. She was a very cute girl after all. Minnie had a point when it came to that. I imagined her long black hair would be soft to touch. I bet it smelled really good too. It was the first time I thought of another girl that way. It was usually Cynthia on my mind, but now I was wondering about April. What if I didn't like Cynthia as much as I thought I had. As soon as another pretty girl came along, I forgot about her.

Once everyone was paired up, we sat down to eat and drink the butterbeers.

"You looked quite happy about April picking you," Craig said to me while we looking for a deck of cards I had somewhere in my room. Michael had taught us how to play poker years ago. Us blokes were going to play while the girls did each others nails. They were talking about makeup too, but I wondered why they'd do that when we were planning to swim later.

"She's very pretty," I said. "I noticed that you were happy that you got Minnie after all."

"I've heard she's been practising," Craig said. "So I guess you didn't have to worry about a lecture after all. Not only is she pretty, but I bet she'll know what she is doing! If I didn't get her, I hoped I'd get Mia. I just figured you'd be crying into your butterbeer about Cynthia."

"I wanted her to pick me but I am glad April did," I said as I glanced over at her. "She's very cute and she's so shy too. She seems like a sweet girl."

"Hmm maybe you have a new crush," Craig teased. "Too bad because Cynthia looked jealous."

"Or I like them both," I responded. "My feelings for Cynthia haven't changed but it's hard for me not to notice April either."

"Or she can be the road to Cynthia," Craig said.

"I'm not using her," I said.

"I'm not saying you should. You're twelve, Hayden. Any girl you date now, you're not going to be with forever. I am just saying that if you like her enough, you should go for it. Save Cynthia for later when you know what you're doing," Craig said.

"That still sounds like I'm using her and what if I do lose Cynthia in the process?"

"I don't know Hoofer. All I am saying is that you should do something about one of them, and it's April you're kissing tonight," Craig said. "If you like it enough, and you do like her enough, you should go for it."

"Here are my cards," I said as I found them on my bookshelf with all my old kids books.

What if Craig had a point? What if I did need to do something about one of them? I didn't know my exact feelings for April, but I felt extremely excited about kissing her and I wouldn't mind getting to know her better. What if that was betraying Cynthia though? What if I did get a girlfriend and Cynthia moved on? Maybe I should talk to Cynthia instead? However, the thought of talking to Cynthia about it scared me. The thought of talking to April didn't scare me. What did that mean? I was going to have to talk to Ben later.

As we were setting up the poker game, Michelle and Charles came into the room. I wondered what they wanted.

"Chelle's!" Patrick said as he spotted Michelle. "How is the old school?"

Michelle shrugged. He'd been calling her 'Chelle's' for years, and I knew it annoyed her. I saw the look of annoyance cross her face now.

"It's fine. Same old as usual. The Primary seven's this year aren't as cool as you lot were though. They're very annoying actually. They try to boss us around. They call themselves the Hogwarts Students in Training. We told them that everyone there are Hogwarts Students in Training."

"And what did they say to that?" Andrew asked.

"Didn't say nothing," Charles said. "They just stared at her and then walked away."

"Probably couldn't think of anything clever to say to it," I said with a shrug. "So what are you two doing in here? You're supposed to be watching the younger kids."

Charles rolled his eyes. "Alyssa is taking the 'special helper-'" and he used finger quotes as he said it "-very seriously. We figured we could leave for a little bit. We wanted to see what you lot were up to. We can leave if you want us to though."

I was feeling generous that night though. I knew my little sister. She would have things under control, and if she didn't, she'd come get us. I was drawing the line at them Michelle and Charles though, and they wouldn't be allowed to swim with us later. For now though, they could hang out for a bit.

"You can stay for a bit. We're just starting a poker game," I said. "You can join us Michelle or you can put some make up on with the girls."

"Ooh, I want to put make up on!" She said excitedly and she rushed over to join the older girls on the other side of the room.

"I thought your friends were coming tonight too," I said to Charles as he began to help us set up.

"Later," Charles said. "I wanted them to come now because there are no blokes my age. Richard isn't bad, but for some reason he likes playing with the girls. I can't handle playing the games they do. I don't mind the baby-sitting gag because mum said I'd be getting paid, but the real baby-sitting isn't really until later and besides, as I said, Alyssa seems to have taken charge. Michelle and me were just sitting there bored out of our minds. We were hoping they'd want to go downstairs and watch movies at least, but they said not yet. I'm not playing with dolls and I don't know how Richard can."

"But he's grown up with them," I said. "He had to learn how to adapt."

"Clarissa was starting to annoy Michelle too, because she wants her to play but Michelle isn't interested in playing with dolls anymore," Charles continued. "So Alyssa got all demanding and told her that she had to play, and Michelle told her that she isn't a real baby-sitter. Alyssa said that it was her room and that if we wanted to stay in there, we had to do what she said. So we left. We were just going to go to the guest room, but we figured we'd see what you were up to first."

"Do you know how to play poker?" Albert asked him. "You're kind of young to be gambling."

"Michael taught us how to play as soon as we could basically count," Charles told him. "And I am one of the best of the kids. I've beaten some of the adults and I do have money if you're playing for money. I just hope the twins don't find out. They love poker."

"They're not joining," I said. "I'm drawing the line with you and Michelle," and then I looked at Albert. "He isn't bragging. He's one hell of a poker player. Barry is one of the best out of the adults and he beat him when he was seven!"

"And he still wants to beat me to this day," Charles said with a grin.

"Bloody hell," Albert said. "Well I suppose we need a challenge anyway."

I got up to go shut the door. I knew that the kids would try to find Michelle and Charles after a while, and I didn't want them bothering us. No one could enter my room without my permission with the door shut. I would know if they did try though, and I could talk to them when the time came.

"So are you going to kiss Michelle at midnight?" Craig asked him.

"She isn't my girlfriend anymore," Charles said. "Rita is my girlfriend now. She wouldn't like that."

"I thought you were dating a girl named Valerie?" I said with confusion. "You mentioned her last time you wrote to me."

"No, I had to dump her. She didn't like that Michelle and me are still friends. Rita is better. She likes Michelle so she is okay with it," Charles said.

"Are you the casanova of Primary six?" Andrew asked with amusement. "How many girlfriends have you had? I haven't even had one."

"Better get on that then," Charles said. "You're going to be twelve soon. I've had six girlfriends already and I'm nine!"

"You heard him Andrew," I said. "You'd better get on that."

"Look who is talking!" Andrew said. "You're the oldest one here and you haven't had a girlfriend yet."

"I had a girlfriend in Primary four. Remember when I was with Gabby?" I reminded him.

"A girlfriend in Primary four doesn't count," Andrew said. "It sure does. Right Charles?"

"It counts," Charles said.

"If girlfriends in primary school count then I am good too," Craig said and the others began saying nodding as well. "Looks like you're the odd one out there Andy."

"Don't call me Andy, and I don't care. I bet shag before any of you," he said. "That's when it really counts."

Charles let out a snort as he took the cards and began to shuffle. Was this kind of discussion we were supposed to have around a nine-year-old? He obviously understood it. I had at that age, but it still seemed a bit too grown up for him.

"Good luck with that one," he said.

"You're a cool kid," Marco said to Charles. "I never realised that about you. If someone said that around my brother he would be flipping out and he's ten!"

"I've heard conversations like that my whole life, and I am not a kid anymore anyway. I will be ten next summer," Charles told him.

"My mistake," Marco said with amusement. "I forgot about that. Anyway are we staying in our seats or are we drawing cards."

Technically we weren't in 'seats' since we were sitting on the floor, but I didn't see the point in getting up and moving around. I figured we were fine where we were, and I said this. Everyone else nodded in agreement. Charles seemed more than happy to start as Dealer, which was fine with everyone else.

I couldn't help but admire his confidence though. If he was so easy going around girls at his age, what would he be like at our age, or even older? I knew that relationships were obviously different with our ages, but it still made me think. If a nine-year-old could be that confident, I needed to learn to be more confident. That meant I had to make a choice between Cynthia and April and I had to do it soon.


End file.
